Monday, September 30, 2013

Conversations I Have With Myself

(edit: this text was isolated from a much earlier written and much longer passage and stored in it's own file on 30/09/2013 for probably forever forgotten reasons - 07/08/2019)

I tried to explain to him that you can’t eat steel. You can taste steel, sure, but eating it is impossible. First of all, you could never digest it. If you were to attempt to eat a platter of steel and you were somehow able to chew and swallow it, it would simply languish in your gut for eons. The steel in your stomach would likely outlast your own existence. 

Yet, what if you were able to outlast your own stomach? This was his retort.

While it is true that in such a scenario - and we still need to ignore the logistics behind the physics of actually consuming steel – it would not be as devastating to consume steel as would be initially assumed, the value of consuming steel is still up for debate. Yes, it is true that the ability to discard the bodily shell and move existing memories and thought processes (and even such a thing brings with it severe logistical concerns) into an entirely new place of habitation would render the inevitability of an impending stomach disaster virtually irrelevant, but of what value would it be to consciously attack one’s own digestive system?

I have answered a question with a question, and he claims that this is bad form.

Well, then, I relent. If we are to take immortality into account then I suppose I have no further objection to the consumption of steel. Yet, you have not explained the logistics behind your proposal. How precisely do you propose that one goes about consuming steel? A steak knife seems to be of little value.

Well, you’d have to melt it first, obviously. You’d just pop it in the oven for a while…

But this is ridiculous! The oven in your home is not capable of melting steel!

Maybe your oven is not capable of melting steel, but mine certainly is. It seems to me like you need to buy a new oven.

Right. So I can melt steel. What do I do with the steel once it is melted?

You’d drink it, obviously.

No! Never! I will not consume steel at all and will certainly not consume it when it is in a liquid state. It would burn right through me and kill me instantly. What is wrong with you?

Concerned with the bodily shell again…when are you going to ignore your physical existence? You don’t really exist in any kind of physical state except as a fragile and tenuous temporary host; your body has no value. You understand that perfectly well, and yet you continue to maintain this childish obsession with your own physical well being because you’re morbidly afraid of pain. Enough already. Be a man and consume the goddamned steel and be done with it.

This conversation is over. You will never convince me to consume molten steel.

Pussy.

That’s it….I’m going to sleep.

Right, you can’t beat me so you let me take over. You’re such a fucking defeatist. What did I do in my past life to get stuck with such a lame host? Turn that music down and listen to me!