i'll be explicit, because i know i'm right about this and i don't care if it upsets people. if you want to stand up for what's right, you have to take unpopular positions sometimes.

if i was in the middle of something, and i asked if they were hiv, and i was told they were but are on antivirals, would i stop, even if a condom was involved? yeah. immediately - forcefully, and violently, if necessary.

so, is that information that is necessary to provide in determining consent? it sure would be, for me. therefore, is withholding that information a type of rape? it is. i would certainly feel violated. and, it doesn't matter if the person is taking retroviral drugs, or if the risk of transmission is negligible - consent still depends on the absence of any possibility of transmission. i would never consent, under any circumstance, to relations with somebody that is positive, whether they are on retrovirals and wearing a condom or not.

and, what is the counter-argument to this?

"if i disclosed, they might say no."

you're fucking right that i would say no. and, what do you lose from that?

obviously, if you cared at all about me or my feelings, you would disclose - and if that means we don't fuck on that night, you'd take it as an acceptable loss.

the only argument for non-disclosure reduces to the viewpoint that an orgasm, however fleeting, is more important than the health and consent of the person you're fucking.

and, that is rape culture.