Sunday, January 17, 2021

have i done anything worthwhile in my life? have i made worthwhile contributions?

you have to put this in context, and the fact is that while i spent a lot of time in school because i sort of had to in order to eat, i've really never wanted to be anything besides a musician.

so, if you're to ask that question, i insist that the question you ask is whether my musical contributions are worthwhile or not. that's what i want you to judge me by, not whether the schoolwork i ended up doing out of necessity is worthwhile or not. i actually don't claim that it is.

i'm somebody that went to school for a really, really long time without really wanting to be there, or having any aspirations in academia. as such, i'm kind of an encyclopedia. but, i don't want to be an academic, and i'd reject the claim that i'm some kind of intellectual.

and, i'm actually really clear on the point - i want you to see me as, interpret me, analyze me and validate me as an artist, not as a researcher or as an intellectual. but, i'm also a member of the proletariat, and that's the only reason i ended up in a school in the first place. if i was born with money, i wouldn't have bothered.