E.T. and The Minotaur
It is the seven thousandth some odd year of
the Common Era, but you don't know that. You are an archaeologist
looking through the rubble of the centre of the once great American
empire, the palace at Washing-Town. It is thought that this city, with
its great public lavatory within walking distance from the palace, once
served as a giant lavatory for the entire empire. Using gasoline powered
vehicles, one of the many great technologies that were lost after the
mysterious destructions that destroyed many great American cities all
over the world, the people could commute from city to city within
minutes at speeds of up to 300 kilometers per hour, as evidenced by
surviving speedometers. Scores of people would descend on the lavatory
at a time, which was guarded by policemen. You know this from surviving
photographs.
Enough of this. You are in Washing-Town
because a colleague has just informed you of a discovery that could
change the world's understanding of classical American civilization
forever. Ever since the study of Ancient America began, uncovered
American literature has continually been found to make reference to
strange things such as "aliens" and "robots". What these things were has
been up to much debate ever since, with many stories conflicting. Most
of what we know about them has been pieced together by the many great
American historians such as Isaac Asimov. Other literature makes
references to space ships and ridiculous things like walking on the
moon. This had always been largely thought to be American mythology up
until today.
You walk into your colleague's room and she
hands you a file folder. In it is a giant photograph of an oddly shaped
being, with the words "E.T.: The Extra Terrestrial" written underneath
it. The strange creature has brown skin, blue eyes and a body shaped
like a periscope. He appears beside a young child, looking somewhat
distressed. Could this be proof that the aliens referenced in so much
American literature really existed in the American Empire and killed
millions of their citizens? Could the Americans have worshipped such a
being? If not, then what was the function of the theatre that the
picture was found in?
Of course not, this is all as silly as walking on the moon.
Similarly, the existence of a Minotaur is
and always has been purely science fiction. Arthur Evans may have
discovered a lot of evidence that proves that the existence of King
Minos has some historical validity, but that does not prove the
existence of the Minotaur any more than proving the existence of Steven
Spielberg does of alien life on earth. Proof that the Minotaur existed
would be the discovery of a valid fossil record and only the discovery
of a valid fossil record. Honestly here, we're talking about a half-man,
half-cow creature that lived in a cave and ate children. There are
always going to be skeptics, and this author is always going to be one
of them. This is not a problem for an archeologist, it is one for a
paleontologist; if one truly believes that such a thing existed, perhaps
a psychologist and/or a neurologist could be of some assistance.
Now, just because there is no proof that an
actual Minotaur existed does not mean that the whole story is pure
fiction. One more logical explanation for this "Minotaur" would be that
perhaps the Minoans, as a further advanced and more powerful
civilization, tricked the Athenians into giving away their kids in order
to have some extra slaves hanging around. If the Minoans were truly the
first power to have a navy, it seems logical that they would use it to
bully the little guy around. Their early dominance over Mycenaean Greece
seems proof that they did do just that. Maybe the Athenians were put
under tribute and, after several generations, came to believe the
stories that the older ones told in order to shield the younger ones
from the truth. Maybe it was just a reason to eat your vegetables and
had no truth to it all, the Athenians and Minoans in reality being the
best of friends. It could even have been an attempt for the more
powerful Minoans to control the Athenians - to force them to give up
their best children or face the consequences of a horrible monster. This
would be done in order to ensure that the Athenians did not become more
powerful than themselves. Maybe this "Minotaur" was a lion, cougar,
some sort of erect bird or another kind of wild animal. Or, perhaps it
was simply a piece of historically invalid entertainment set in a period
of time familiar to most, which is the opinion of this individual.
So, in conclusion, simply note that Arthur
Evans did not find a valid fossil record of the Minotaur. Therefore, he
has not convincingly proven its existence in the opinion of this author.
Alternately, several fairly quickly thought up better alternatives to
the existence of a half-man, half-bull beast have been cited, proving
just how abundant better solutions to this quandary really are.
short assignment, greek civ 101
fall, 2000
http://dghjdfsghkrdghdgja.appspot.com/thoughts/trolls/greekciv101.html