i just want to explore the point, to kind of demonstrate the reality of things. i know this isn't a dating site. and, this isn't an ad - don't reply to it. but, what does my ideal partner actually look like?

i should address gender first, obviously. i'm what you call pansexual. i mean, i'm functionally asexual, but it's a consequence of basically hating everybody. my actual position on the matter is that it doesn't matter what your gender is, so much as it matters whether i like you: i want to fuck your personality, not your body. so, i'm not at all driven by hormones; i'm not at all excited by physical sex. you don't go more than ten years without even trying, unless you're just not that into it, right?

but, that doesn't mean i'm interested in both genders equally. i'm not bisexual, or not in the sense that i see boys and girls as equally attractive and things to enjoy in different ways. i'm going to lean overwhelmingly towards a kind of sexless femininity, and i want to be careful about how i describe this.

i consider madonna, for example, to be exceedingly masculine. the ideal of the strong, dominant sexually aggressive female is as unattractive to me as the ideal of the strong, dominant sexually aggressive male. when i say i'm attracted to a sexless femininity, i mean i'm attracted to very submissive people. i'm an anarchist: i reject hierarchy and i reject dominance. i want complete equality. not a pretension towards equality. not "equity". fucking equality.

so, it could be either gender, but it's certainly a non-aggressive, passive, low-key ultra-beta personality type.

attached to that, i would prefer a musician but i would insist on an artist, at least. i would want somebody that i can create with. that would, in fact, be the basis of the relationship - a shared interest in creating. i would even go so far as to say i would be bored with just about anything else.

while the person does not need to actually be unemployed, i would not want somebody that is attached to their career. i know i come off as an introvert, but that's partly due to shielding. i don't want to date. i don't want to be in a relationship where we each have our own lives and just meet up from time to time to get drunk and fuck. i have to be the center of attention at all times (and will reciprocate). so, there cannot be time for a career, because we'll be too busy focusing on creating things. there cannot be time for other friends. there cannot be time for family. we're going to shower and shit together, or i'm going to start to feel neglected. i am absurdly high maintenance. so, this person needs to either be unemployed and on disability or independently wealthy or living through some other arrangement that does not see them disappear for long periods to participate in some useless market bullshit.

i don't want kids. and, i don't want this person to have kids, either. not even if they're adults. obviously, this person has to not want kids.

this person is probably older than me.

perhaps the incompatibilities are more obvious at this point, now that i've told you more clearly about what i would actually want. but, perhaps you can also see some of the points of overlap that existed.