it's tuesday, now.

it turns out that both april and may were really over the top, for me. as mentioned, i'm expecting a much quieter month. maybe not too quiet. i could maybe get one weekend out...

i'm going to want to make a pact with security in that bar. it's not like it's the greatest bar - all i've done is complain about it - but there often isn't really any other choice. i mean, i can't walk from mexicantown to gratiot - or grand. and one of the rock bars i frequent is a block from it, making it absurdly convenient. so, this is what i need:

a) i don't like bars with heavy security. i'm an anarchist. fuck the police. but, i will acknowledge that the bar is security-minded....if...
b) security agrees that i make choices about whether i'm too drunk to dance or not, so long as
c) i promise to be honest in my assessment and sit down or leave if i'm truly too drunk to dance. and, in fact, i have done this from time to time, in the past - i've needed to sit down for a few minutes before i get back up. i haven't allowed myself to pass out.
d) it follows that when i tell security i'm fine that i am and they should immediately fuck off and leave me alone.

as i mentioned, i happened to be just about to leave, anyways. they were going to close in a few minutes. but, i actually have every right to be irritated with their refusal to listen, and with the bruise on my knee that is their fault. i mean, how do they know if i'm drunk or not? that's crazy. i think this whole discussion is ridiculous, but they ultimately must concede that i get to decide whether i'm drunk or not, or i'm going to have to permanently boycott.

i don't want to put myself into spaces that are heavily policed, like that. i need a truce, or i'll have to avoid it.

it could be a few weeks, or even a few months, before i get in there to talk, though. the only thing i really have planned for june is on a sunday, a good ways from the place in question.

but, i am, in fact, currently officially banned from the works in detroit, for the apparent reason of dancing too hard. i'm going to have little choice but to wear it as a badge of honour for as long as they insist upon it. create a meme: too hardcore for the works in detroit! yeah. well, of course it's preposterous, and of course they're going to have to eventually admit it's preposterous. i honestly don't want to go back in there until i get an assurance that i have agency and autonomy, and they'll back off and leave me alone.

what am i doing about this $320 that i owe the legal loan sharking company?

well, i'm just going to finish my regular monthly scheduling stuff, first. i guess i'm going to have to test my feet on wednesday, at least enough to get to the various stores. once i've done my budgeting and shopping for the month, i'll take a look at what the balance is.

i think i mentioned here that i'd like to put down half in the next few days and the other half on june 30th. i need to verify i'm not walking into a trap with it. but, that's probably how this is going to work, and it should let me get out to a show or two mid-month. functionally speaking, it will be my gst cheque that will pay down the bulk of the second half of the loan, albeit a few days prematurely.

if they don't let me split it, i'm going to have to put it aside somewhere.

right now, i'm finally awake enough to get a coffee so i'm going to focus on editing until the sun comes up and then spend the day cleaning. i'm back to the list of things for the next few days.