i've said this before - if i could go back in time, i wouldn't study an academic subject, at all. rather, i'd take the money and invest it and live off the dividends.

my school years were really spent mostly focused on music production. second year was particularly bad; i rarely went to class, and didn't bother studying until the day before the exam. i say i didn't get along with anybody in the class, but i didn't really try very hard - i just didn't have any interest. i'd say i spent maybe 5 hours a week on my school work through second year, and 100 hours a week working on music. it was abundantly clear where my interests were, but i had to make counter-intuitive choices to maximize my ability to explore those interests - i didn't have the freedom to just sit and create, i had to either go to school or get a job. getting a job would have been far more time consuming than going to school, so i "went to school" out of necessity (but didn't actually go to school).  i didn't even want to be there at all. there was actually one surreal period where i spent more time helping my dad with his homework (he was taking a business management course through correspondence) than i did doing my own.

any decisions i made about labour were always made to maximize the amount of time i could spend recording. so, the actual reason i went to university was that it meant i didn't have to go to work (and, i didn't have to go to work because i refused to go to school if i had to go to work, anyways). you could maybe feel badly for my father about the whole thing, as he was just constantly trying to coerce what he (mis)understood as reason out of me, and i just kept coming up with these responses that clearly broke his heart. but, i wasn't going to go be an engineer to make my dad proud, or something. i'd rather fucking kill myself.

i didn't really have a plan for the future. i mean, i guess i hoped the music would be successful; i think i knew it never would be. i didn't even want to be a superstar, i just wanted to be able to survive by doing what i actually cared about. but, my long term plans were always based on the assumption that it would eventually work out, and i'd be able to find ways to survive in the mean time.

i never had any intention of using my education to get a job; it was just a way to avoid going to work and maximize my time spent on art. so, the amount of time that i spent doing school work was in truth always quite minimal - and, my emotional and intellectual investment into it was in truth always quite scarce.

if you're going to meet me at a bar and talk about things i've put on the internet, i'd rather we talk about the music. it's the music that i've put my actual effort into. it's the music that i've tried to publish. it's the music that i actually care about. it's the music that i want you to interpret me through.

i have not published any math or science and do not expect that i ever will. i'm not upset about this. but, there is still a lot of discography to work through.