like, maybe you're unclear on the point, but i don't have the experience to apply to any job besides a fast food restaurant.

and, even if i were to get that job, and work overtime, and somehow avoid burning the place down in the first week, or at least pissing in the food supply, i still wouldn't be able to make a monthly payment.

the only way out is for me to somehow become something that i've never imagined myself as and don't even really understand the existence of.

excluding my father & step-mother, i've never even known anybody with an actual job. everybody i've ever known has either worked minimum wage, or not worked at all. it's a culture that i have no understanding of, and that i don't have the slightest concept of how to get into.

my bargain with capitalism was always this: i'll promise not to procreate, if you let me just exist. i mean, i didn't choose any of this. and, i don't want anything to do with it. my offering to you is that i won't create more mouths to feed. that's both the most and the least that i'm capable of doing. maybe my mother should have done that, herself, but she didn't, and here i am, and i can't turn back time.

i'm supposed to be writing this stupid fucking goddamned piece of shit appeal, but i'm just too fucking angry and depressed to even focus.

jagmeet singh must cut his beard.