i just want you to understand how ridiculous my student loan is.

this is my income on odsp: $1151 + tax credits. it's about $1200. it could be higher if i end up paying hydro - $1250 or so.

my minimum payment is $1372.

and, what kind of money would i need to be making to pay down $1372/month?

well, my expenses are currently $1000/month. if i had a job, i'd have to get a phone, so that's an extra $100. i'd need to spend at least $100 on transportation. and, i'd need spending money for coffee and food while i'm out. i'd also need a clothes budget, which i currently don't have. i think an extra $500/month in expenses is reasonable. so, my expenses would then be $1500/month instead of $1000/month.

that would mean i'd need to be making $2872/month, after taxes. those numbers are beyond anything i've ever contemplated - i've never even applied for a job with that kind of salary. that's, $34464 after taxes. so, i guess i'm looking at higher than $40,000/yr.

i don't even know what kind of job offers that kind of money. the only jobs i've ever worked are in fast food and call centres, and nobody at these places makes that kind of money. i applied for some government jobs a few years ago, and i couldn't pass the behavioural exam. what else is there, even? i don't even know.

these are just numbers that are daunting to me. i can't even comprehend them, really.

the idea that i'd ever be making as much as $40,000/yr never even crossed my mind. i've planned my whole life around making minimum wage or lower....

so, this is crazy to me. the reality is that i'm never going to make anything close to that, and that it's never going to get paid down.

jagmeet singh must cut his beard.