my hair is growing. i strongly suspect somebody cut about an inch off, which adds up to a month in the long run. it's a violating feeling, but it's not the end of the world.
i haven't been feeling like myself since i cut my hair and it's been affecting me more than i expected. i don't have a history of depression and have never been diagnosed with depression, but my sudden inability to project myself as a pretty girl for the first time in 15 years has indeed left me terribly depressed. i don't like how i look and i'm not going to adjust to it, i'll just have to deal with the depression until the hair grows back.
i went looking for some pictures of myself as a blonde from last year to cheer myself up and i couldn't find any, but i'm sure i took a large number of them. this has left me convinced that somebody has stolen them and left me feeling violated in relation to what might have been done with them. yet, this is consistent with what i've been experiencing: i was purchased as an apparent sex slave by some barbarians from a backwards culture and i'm going to have to figure it out, decode the details and throw them in jail. obviously, i reject the premise; i was not purchased, and i am nobody's property and nobody's slave. i've remarked previously that it was a stroke of good luck that i shaved my head as it's given me some time to figure out what is going on. i was apparently rejected because i shaved my head, which is a good thing, even if the shaved head was not.
since the new owners took over, young girls come in and out of this house and completely disappear. their cars disappear first and they're sent to live upstairs and not allowed to leave the house, then they go on to some other place and are replaced. they seem to be being recruited into something. the preference is for scandinavian blondes. it seems to be a front for some kind of arabic sex trafficking, connected to some kind of organized criminal mafia. young girls are so naive :(.
i'm going to try to recover as much media as i can, first. it cuts out in may, 2022 and picks back up again in june, 2023. there's just a black hole over that 13 months with no pictures and no videos, but i know there were pictures, at least. i remember vlogging the day i took the monitor home in july and i'm sure i took pictures on some days before i went on a bike ride. if there are still pictures somewhere, where are they?
reconstructing events:
- i died my hair red in march, 2022
- i have pictures up to the end of may, 2022.
- i cleared my vlog camera out when i did the diet walk through on may 21, 2022
- i had not cleared my vlog camera out since, from may 21, 2022 to nov 15, 2023.
- i was badly sunburned at the start of june and apparently bleached my hair in mid july. no pictures.
- in fact, there are only a handful of pictures taken between june 1, 2022 and june 8, 2023 and they are of things like my bicycle and some legal documents.
- while they are correctly numbered on the device, they are also weird. the pictures of my bicycle, taken in early november after my tire wore through, are not numbered in sequence. it makes it look like somebody renumbered the pictures in december or so.
i have a chkdsk from june, 2023 that pulled out files from 2021 and a chkdsk from sept, 2023 that produced corrupt data. i tried a testdisk on the device and it has found deleted pictures but nothing of me over the second half of 2022
i'll need to keep looking.
link on side:
nov, 2023:
oct, 2023:
aug, 2023:
sept, 2023:
june 2023:
may 2023:
i did not take photos of myself before i went to movement. i do not remember if i took pictures of myself when i went out grocery shopping, but they're gone.
mar-april 2023:
i shaved my head on march 23, 2023.
jan/feb 2023:
i'm sure there were pictures, actually. i was struggling with knotted hair.
nov-dec 2022:
i spent a lot of time at the university of windsor typing legal documents for divisional court and am sure i took pictures before i left. there is a new health card picture taken after i changed my name, but it is a bad picture. i was concerned i was being hacked. i was struggling with bad hair, leading up to the shave.
oct 2022:
my health card picture is all i can find:
july--->sept 2022:
i thought i dyed my hair earlier, but my blog posts suggest it was mid july. what i remember is late may. i spent the summer of 2022 trying to lose weight i had put on after the surgery in aug, 2021 and over the winter of 2022 by doing a lot of bicycling. while there were few if any videos, i am sure there were lots of pictures taken before and after i went out on the bicycle, mostly in a purple tank top. that said, i also remember being unhappy with all of them, which is why i didn't upload any of them. the minimal amount of weight i put on and was having difficult losing would not have bothered most women, but i am used to being very thin and did not want to upload pictures where i was 5-10 pounds more than i wanted to be. i was not overweight; i was still technically probably underweight.
june 2022:
i was badly sunburned at the start of june, 2022 and would not have taken pictures while i was burned.
may 2022:
these are the last pictures i can find from 2022, at this time, but i did not shave my head for almost a year afterwards and was blonde starting in july, at the latest:
this is a video that won't embed:
april 2022:
videos:
mar 2022:
nov 2021: