why did i go to a christian school if i'm so axiomatically opposed to judeo-christian morals?

i've told this story before, and a few times, actually. so be it.

back in the 80s in ontario, the public school system didn't have kindergarten. if you're my age, or a little younger, you might be aware of the political struggle around full day kindergarten without being fully cognizant of the reality that it wasn't available at all when you were at that age. however, because i was born in january, i wouldn't have been able to attend pre-school for another year.

my mother, and it was my mother's choice, had two options in front of her:

1) i could skip what would amount to two years.
2) i could get baptized.

so, my mother baptized me at the age of four in order to send me to the catholic school so i didn't have to skip the year. i've heard rumours that they were planning on switching me after, but it never happened.

my father was never religious, but his mother was, and my mother had to really put her foot down to stop me from being baptized as an infant - a decision that is likely at the root of the fact that i have never had a relationship with my paternal grandmother. my mother was basically afraid of the priests, and the reputation they have for molesting young boys, so she wouldn't let me anywhere near a church under real fears that i'd get assaulted. she has some mental issues, but it doesn't mean she didn't actually believe the threat was real, and i don't doubt that she did.

i remember the event - it was scary. i didn't know this guy, i didn't know what he was doing and i found the surroundings to be unsettling. my mom's strict instructions to not go anywhere alone with the priest made me wonder what the fuck was happening. so, it was actually kind of a traumatic experience.

it says a lot about the role that religion played in my mother's life, and by extension my own, though - not only did she refuse to have me baptized when i was an infant, but she had such little concern for the sanctity of the ritual that she cynically performed it on me out of no religious conviction and simply to send me to school when i was a toddler.

there are two other reasons why my mother baptized me at that age besides so that i didn't skip the year:

1) while canada's school system is not explicitly segregated, the catholic schools are about 95% white.
2) my mother was and remains an angry, violent & frequent drunk. i seem to be the only antidote that ever worked - something i'm self-aware of. but, sending me to school would give her an opportunity to drink during the day when i was gone.

i did not participate in the other sacraments, and would not be considered a catholic relative to their own admission criteria.

in hindsight, i wish i had switched, by high school if not earlier. in later years, my dad insisted on the superior quality of the catholic system, but i'm not sure how true the claim actually was.