and, how is the air quality in here?

it's dry. it looks like we have one more cold snap, and then we might at least be back to seasonal weather - which is around freezing. it doesn't usually actually warm up until late april, but it's the cold that forces the dry air. it's too early to say, but let's hope we're past the worst of it, after one more snap next week.

besides that, i actually can't detect anything. i was getting some kind of second hand smoke up until a few weeks ago, but it seems to have lifted. i also left the fan in the bathroom running for about two weeks in order to clear a sewer gas smell out (i might need to clean the p-traps, which is a normal maintenance thing), and i'm not noticing it any more - although i'll admit that it might be because the ground is frozen. there's still some dust in here, but it's now my dust, if you understand, so it's not as bothersome.

i would rather the air moisten up a little, sure, but i don't have anything concrete to complain about, or to tie the health issues to. i haven't picked up any whiffs of pot in weeks.

it could be the weather; i'm known to react poorly to it sometimes, but not usually like this. i could be dehydrated, although i'm feeling like that would by a symptom rather than a cause. my skin tone has also fallen several shades since i've moved in; i'm back in a basement, with blinds, and not getting any sunlight. so, i could be going through some kind of vitamin d withdrawal or something.

i mentioned that it feels like i drank too much coffee and can't come down, and i want to stick with that - withdrawal is the right way to describe it. but, it's withdrawal mixed with some kind of upper. i've actually never done mdma (although it's in the list of drugs i would try if i knew the source...the problem is that they tell you it's molly, then sell you meth.), but i might imagine that what i'm feeling is not very different from a broken dopamine receptor. and, the nature of the experience of a stimulant is really clear - right down to the clenched teeth.

the weird thing is that i went through this last year, too, and initially thought it was a consequence of the neighbour smoking meth. fwiw, i never convinced myself that she wasn't smoking meth, at least at first - there was a nasty smell of burning plastic that moved from downstairs to outside, even as the stench of burning marijuana parked itself in place. i'm still convinced that i was dealing with a reaction to some kind of stimulant at the end of february of last year. and, if i were to describe what i'm going through right now, it would be relatively similar.

i don't have any reason to think it's true, but it almost seems like somebody spiked my water supply with meth.

all i can do is try to sleep it off.