Saturday, January 23, 2021

so, i caught up on some sleep and feel a tad better.

that's the other thing that continually happens - i go out for groceries and can't sleep when i get back, even though i should generally be exhausted from the exercise involved in the grocery run (which frequently requires 7-8 hours of walking and biking, and this is by design - i need and like the exercise, it's good for my cardiovascular health, which is my primary cause of concern). eventually, that's how i clear whatever is entering my system (and i think it's some kind of foreign chemical, some kind of drug) when i get back - i have to sleep it off. and, i have to sweat it out, when i'm sleeping.

if we put the idea that i'm getting drugged aside, that's what i'm actually experiencing - heightened feelings of agitation and frustration when i get back, until i sweat out whatever's causing it over two or three days worth of heavy sleeping.

and, i wish it would stop.