Jessica Amber Murray
hey, i'm glad you found what you were looking for without having to move away from your family and school. i think that's a better outcome. of course, who cares what i think... listen, i have to ask you a favour. it's going to sound insane. to an extent, i acknowledge it is literally insane, relative to the meaning of insane. what i mean to say is that i'm aware that i have hallucinations, auditory and otherwise, and that sometimes i get stuck in these paranoid fantasies that draw...the truth is that they draw very rational, formally deductive conclusions. the issue is really a struggle between interpreting the world through deductive or empirical reasoning. i think there's a very good reason that schizophrenia and mathematical abilities tend to go well together. i tend to get stuck in hallucinations and fantasies when i spend a lot of time alone, so, like, it's right on schedule sort of thing. i don't really want to medicate myself. i'd rather use it as an idea source for art projects. but i sort of do medicate, if you see what i mean. i need to find some soon. so, i'm walking down the street a few minutes ago and i hear sarah yell at me. see, i *know* i hallucinated this. but, what i'm less clear about is *why* i hallucinated this. it could just be my mind playing tricks on me, nothing to think about. it could be the result of some kind of entanglement that's beyond our current understanding of things. what i know is that i know how to rationalize through things and deal with them. but she sounded like she was in trouble. so, what if there *is* some kind of not understood entanglement thing going on? it would sort of make me feel better if you could just give her a quick call and ask her if she's ok. i have the number in my cell phone at home if you don't have it.

Shelly Teagan
Ill get as to do it. But yeah ill do it.

Also, you need to go and meet people. Im a bit worried.

Whats her number.

Also, i should have left to get rid of my parents. I found out that i had a very physically abusive childhoo, but have blocked out all these memories. So yeah, ive cut my parents out for trying to distort reality all these years and try to play me off as crazy.

I should be in windsor. But Jess!!!!!! Go hang out with the wobblies and play risk or something

Jessica Amber Murray
lols. no. crazy music on the way. this is what i do, erin....i push myself to the brink and then record myself freaking out...i'm safe, and people around me are safe, it's nothing to really be concerned about. abusive parents are such a...my mom and step-mom were both really bad, verbally. but it hasn't cut out a necessary reliance with my mom (my step-mom is OUT). it's such a fine line between codependency and reconciliation, you know? hard thing to walk between... i'll go home and get the number, i just have to finish writing an email to my landlord first.

Shelly Teagan
Go hang out peeps, jess. Go!!!!