publishing schizoid terrorist (inri014)

it looks like all of the singles are going to be a little different. this is the new inri007.

i'm also seriously considering rebuilding and replacing the two official records.

this is a double ep single; i've done this before. the idea is to separate newer mixes onto one ep, and older mixes onto the other. it's mostly a separation tactic.

the first ep is all 2015 mixes, whereas the second is a lineal movement from 1996 through to 1998.

i've also taken note of the fact that schizoid and terrorists were always tied together, and have merged them into a single track.

==

this single was created by running tracks 8, 9 and 10 on the cd together; it was never meant to be a unified track. 8 and 10 are proper tracks, whereas 9 is an experimental segue directly into 10. the process of compiling singles kind of accidentally led to this construction as a very natural combination and i'm now very content with it as the permanent home for both of these pieces.

these songs were both always musically driven, with kind of throwaway vocals that i don't really have any meaningful analysis for. neither of these tracks was ever conceptual or confessional or ever meant much to me on a personal level, so they don't have the kind of stories or explanations that the other tracks that were important to me do. i have not remixed the vocals into either of these songs; all of the tracks on the physical release are entirely instrumental. why bother releasing a single, then?

the reason is that i ended up with a number of mixes for both of them and just needed a place to house them. of course, that's not actually any kind of an interesting concept to build a single around. it was precisely because there was no retained concept underlying either of these tracks that the singles seemed pointless. but, once they were connected via the segue, the purpose of a single became readily apparent in that connection, itself.

the decision was sealed by a curious synchronicity in time. they were both originally written for the 1996 cassette demo, and separated there by a guitar/bass cover of "mellon collie and the infinite sadness". the entanglement is probably not entirely coincidental; i have a vague recollection of checking the tape to ensure i didn't forget any songs, and i may very well have repeated recording them in succession for that reason. however that happened to be, the synchronicity is a big part of what allowed me to create this ep the way that i've created it as it allowed me to label demo versions of the track with the same title.

while neither of these tracks have meaningful vocals, they are both important in my musical development. schizoid features my first multi-part string accompaniment and terrorists is a serious step forward in harmonic complexity. even the segue (titled "abusive") is something different: it's my first run at a 909 emulator, and a step out to lunch in abstract sound design.

so, as the last piece completed for my first record, this is somewhat of a portal to transit through, in terms of the developing complexity in my compositional abilities. but, it does not and never did have any worthwhile conceptual meaning to me. as such, there is no story to tell.

initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29, 2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19, 2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016. released on jan 5, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, synths, drum kit, drum programming, sequencing, soundraider, hammerhead, cool edit synthesis, tapes, noises, found sounds, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, production.

the rendered electronic orchestra includes organ, sitar, bells, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and synthesizer effects.

released june 16, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2


1) single mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998 (terrorists, schizoid) and sequenced (with abusive) in jun, 1998. sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed over the summer of 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on nov 19, 2015 (terrorists) and jan 3, 2016 (schizoid). reprogammed on dec 31, 2015 (schizoid). sequenced jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist


2) from inricycled. initially written and recorded in 1996. remastered & recycled in 2013. dec 11, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/alien-ship-caught-on-radar-causing-havoc-second-encounter


3) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


4) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on aug 11, 2015. corrected again on nov 19, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


5) updated electronic orchestra added to version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-total-2


6) bass blur removed from version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-clean


7) bass blur removed from total mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016. remixed as alternate on jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-totally-clean


8) this is an edit of the electronics only mix that fades the track in and out. originally written in 1996. recorded in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-electronics-only-mix-cut


9) electronics only mix. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-electronics-only-mix


10) not from inricycled. rather, this is the unmodified (not remastered) ending section of the deleted original 1996 recording of terrorists. initially written and recorded in 1996. isolated in early 2016. jan 5, 2016.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/alien-ship-caught-on-radar-causing-havoc-initial-approach


11) from the deleted inricycled B compilation. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. remastered in late 2013. recycled jan 7, 2014.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/evil-jazz-decepticons-trash-a-bowie-srv-show-circa-1985-hidden


12) deleted original 1996 opening sequence of side B of the demo tape. initially written in 1996. the middle section is a combination hendrix/pumpkins cover.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1996-demo-mix-2

13) deleted sequence of tracks 8-10 on the original 1998 cd. initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-original-1998-cd-mix-2

14) 2013 remaster of the original 1996 opening sequence of side B of the demo tape. initially written and recorded in 1996. the middle section is a combination hendrix/pumpkins cover. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix-2

15) deleted 2013 remaster of the sequence of tracks 8-10 on the original 1998 cd. initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-terrorist-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix-2

16) full electronics only mix. originally written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 28, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/terrorists-full-electronics-only-mix-2

04-01-2016: new revisionist single adds walk through & almost quitting smoking

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/permission-3
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-deleted-exercise-in-hipster-homophobia
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimixed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/skaters
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/confused-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/hey-god-2

so, now that we have a history again, maybe we should have a little talk about the left. what is the left, actually?

see, during the period where we erased history, the media seemed to have effectively discarded the left, and i think the result is that the establishment completely lost touch with it. we're past the point where the media is suppressing the left. we're to the point where the media is legitimately clueless as to what the left even is, and mentally categorizes it with conspiracy theorists and nineteenth-century reenactment ceremonies.

so, the basic split on the left that's developed is between a broad concept called "anarchism" and a broad concept called "marxism". people tend to categorize these in terms of their approach to authority, but i think this is kind of imprecise and can lead to bad assumptions. i think the better way to separate anarchism from marxism is in it's approach to knowledge: anarchism is analytic, whereas marxism is synthetic. debates take various forms, but almost always really reduce to this question.

and, then there's the fucking hippies and they drive us both insane, because they reject epistemology altogether. that's not to say that the insights of a smart hippie aren't worth contemplating. the world does need strict philosophers, whether the producerists like it or not. but, most of the hippies are not smart, and it's really that point that drives us both insane. a smart critique of science can be valuable; it's outright rejection is utter stupidity.

there's also the liberals, although sometimes they call themselves libertarians. these are people that accept the broad concepts of the left, but are lost in the delusion that market theory can help us get to those goals. arguments with liberals are usually about economics.

trying to wade their way through this, exist the establishment leftists - and these people really aren't leftists, and shouldn't be confused with them.

i mean, i can't write you a fundamental treatise on the contemporary left in a hidden youtube comment. but, that's a decent memo, at least.

publishing hey god (inri008)

i had to psych myself up a little to convince myself to release this. the date is feb 11, 1998 - it is the new inri006. but, i didn't release it until feb, 1999, because i realized, even at the time, that the vocals were embarrassing. there are a couple of tracks on inriched like that that i had to work myself up to get out and today sort of regret.

the thing about this track is that there's no reason to include the unmastered versions. sometimes, when you're remastering something it just comes down to personal taste. that was the case with skaters - and the mixes are consequently all pretty different. but, for this track, the initial mixes were just objectively bad, and can safely be just thrown away.

that means, i have five distinct versions - three new constructions, and two pretty different vocal versions. that's both enough variation to make the single worthwhile and not enough redundancy to really turn myself off the vocals. it just would have been painful to listen to the vocal track five times in a row.

the vocals are actually not at the front of the mix, and i was being a little self-conscious; how bad they are depends on how seriously you take them, and, even then, i didn't really intend for them to be taken particularly seriously.
the thing is that i want the three new versions available in one place. it only makes sense to include the vocal versions, too.

the next single is schizoid, and it will be a longer single.

==

my recollection of the initial recording of this track is unfortunately somewhat vague. when we push our memories like i'm trying to, we become more likely to imagine the past in terms that never actually existed. so, how real is this vague memory of wanting to hear some backwards guitars? i fear that it's perilous to try and force my mind to be more specific.

it's at least fully consistent with what i know about the situation. this was initially the second track recorded in my basement studio in the fall of 1996. so, i was still at the point where i was looking to try things in the studio for the first time. as for backwards guitars? i was very interested in both zappa and hendrix (two of my biggest guitar influences) at the time, and that is actually blatantly obvious if you listen to inri000. they both used backwards guitars. there are multiple occasions on inri000 (and afterwards...) where the nods to both of these players are beyond heavy-sleeved. so, my vague memory at the very least makes sense.

how i made the jump from trying to create a backwards guitar solo to turning a song into a palindrome is another question and i don't really have a good answer besides stumbling upon it as i was listening to it. clearly, it is the case that this struck me as a good idea at some point along the way.

when i went to recreate the track in early 1998, i felt the need to recreate the palindrome effect. so, i never saved any version of the track in forward order (without the backwards overdub) or released it in any kind of way. for all these years, there has simply never been a forwards version of the track.

the remastering process over 2015 has finally given me the opportunity to create a forwards version and spin it off as a single for the express reason of documenting the track as it was actually initially written, which was as a fairly straight forward alternative pop song. that's a description that i do believe is very old. yet, i may be imagining the past, too...

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

regarding the subject matter of the deleted vocals/lyrics, please see the following vlog:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuhdwde1YKI&t=895s

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, drum kit, tapes, production

released february 11, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/hey-god-2


1) this is the track run forwards, without the backwards overdub, which is the main purpose of the single. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-straight-forwards


2) this is just the electronics in the track - which means the backwards version pasted over top of the forwards version. initially programmed in 1997. digitally modified in feb, 1998. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-electronics-only


3) initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-album-mix


4) 2013 remaster of 1996 demo cassette. initially written in 1996. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-2013-remaster-of-1996-demo-mix-2

5) deleted 2013 remaster of the 1998 demo. initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/hey-god-2013-remaster-of-1998-demo

publishing confused (inri007)

this one is dated to feb 6, 1998 and so comes in as the new inri005.

this is the one and only track from this period that i remixed the vocals into, and this is the only place to get that version, besides the period disc. the vocal version is also a reinterpretation, with added sequencing. so, this track actually got the full treatment. as such, it's sequenced reverse chronologically, in a traditional lead single format.

==

so, how exactly does one go about being transgendered, anyways? i mean, like anything else, i guess you have to come to terms with it, first. then, what?

it was the "what next?" part that took me a very long time to grapple with before i was able to come to some kind of course of action. i don't remember exactly how old i was when i realized that i was more like a girl than a boy, but i will state that my thought process was always that i was like a girl, rather than that i was a girl. i have to be blunt: i was a precocious child. i understood the biology of sexual organs at a pretty young age. i knew which organ i had, that it was the same as the one my dad had and that it was different than my mom. i never felt as though i was in the wrong body - that's not how i'd articulate it. i knew i was male. but, all my friends were girls. i preferred to do "girl things". so, i realized at a very, very young age that i was more similar to the girls in my life than to the boys, despite being well aware that i was genetically a boy. it functioned more on the level of social inclusion and conscious choice of gender role than it did on the level of anything biological. am i really that atypical? i don't know. but, i know that i never had any difficulty at all, whatsoever, in separating between sex, gender and gender roles. so, for example: i have very early memories of asking my mom to let me wear lipstick, and of asking to get my ears pierced (3,4 years old) but i don't attach those memories to feelings of gender dysphoria. i didn't see any reason why boys couldn't wear make-up. further, nobody really "corrected" me on it. so, i grew up without any shame or second thoughts attached to being a boy that was more like a girl, and consequently without any particularly strong urges to become a girl. my very early life actually finds it's best explanation in the theories of radical feminism: because the gender binary was never enforced on me, i never felt oppressed by it. i have to argue for a very healthy early upbringing.

what screwed me up and set me back a good ten years was the school system. when i got there at the age of four and a half, i wouldn't talk to the boys. i wanted to skip rope and play hopscotch with the girls. well, all my friends were girls. i didn't know how to play with the boys. what's a marble? i just didn't know. i got stuck with a fossil of a kindergarten teacher that actually flat out banned me from skipping rope. worse, she banned me from reading books. my absolutely docile and clinically rational temperament at that age probably worked against me. but, i had two choices: i could play with the trucks with the boys in the corner or i could go to sleep.

in fact, i slept a lot.

but, gradually, the system socialized me as a male. or, at least it seemed like it did.

my path through elementary school didn't really ease up on the gender segregation until the seventh grade, at which point it was essentially too late. the system had successfully prevented me from socializing with girls, but had never taught me how to socialize with boys. so, i had spent the last twelve years of school in social isolation, usually without any friends at all. i'd lost the opportunity to have all the gendered experiences one associates with childhood - which means i was deeply socially stunted. i was still pretty smart, academically speaking. however, i was operating at the social level of a much younger child because the school system had arrested my social development through segregating me into a gender role that i didn't understand how to fulfil.

by the time i got around to writing this song at the age of 16, i'd just become entirely stoic about the whole thing. i knew i was more like a girl, but what exactly was i going to do about it? i guess i had the perspective, at 16, that life was largely about managing misfortune and you just have to deal with shit, whether you like it or not.

rational? perhaps, from a certain perspective. it gnawed at me, though. the trauma underlying the track was the realization that i was a good part of the way through puberty, without ever having signed up for it. this was by no means unexpected, either, and i didn't ultimately feel that i had any recourse of action in preventing it. but, i felt like i'd been cheated out of something and was being forced into something i didn't remotely want.

as with the rest of the early tracks, the lyrics here are at their core the exploration of a morbid fantasy. i'm taking things too far, i'm taking any excuse i can to keep taking things too far and i'm enjoying watching you squirm when i do it. in one sense, it's a sarcastic allegory on the question of thinking with one's cock, which is a bio-chemical problem that all testosterone producers are forced to come to terms with at some point. in another sense, it's a transgendered teenager carrying out a sort of morbid fantasy and desperately looking for a way to prevent the masculinization of my body.

it took me another five years or so of internal struggle before i could get to the point where i saw hormone therapy as a realistic option, rather than a kind of utopian fantasy that would be perpetually out of reach until i finally expired.

this is the only period 1 piece that was further expanded through the addition of some bass and piano sequencing near the start of the piece. the vocals were also brought back in without redaction. so, this ep starts off with a full reconstruction of the piece, intended as a lead for this single. the ep further comprehensively documents all other released versions of the track.

initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, vocals, synthesizers, drum programming, drum kit, sequencing, sampling, digital wave editing, production

released february 6, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/confused-2


1) this is a new construction of the track, with added sequencing and vocals. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. vocals and electronics added on july 16, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2


2) this is the instrumental reconstruction. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-instrumental


3) this removes the guitars (and bass...) from the instrumental version. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. deconstructed on on july 16, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-electronics-only


4) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes


5) deleted 2013 remaster of 1998 demo cd. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix


6) 2013 remaster of 1997 demo cassette.  initially written in 1997. remastered in 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-2013-remaster-of-1997-demo-mix


7) 1998 cd mix. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998.

8) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix. initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-1998-archive-2

9) deleted original 1997 mix. initially written in 1997.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/confused-original-1997-mix-2

publishing skaters (inri005)

i'm dating this to jan, 1998 and labeling it inri004, indicating a need to shift the rest of the discography forwards. there will be several singles placed over 1998, which fixes a bit of a representation problem - there were previously only two releases (the previous inri004 and inri005) for the entirety of 1998, despite quite a lot of material stemming from that year.

the idea of this single is to trace the development of the track, and i think this is sort of interesting in itself as the track begins as a fairly organic sounding demo in 1997 and ends as an electronic soundscape in 2015.

will there be more versions? stay tuned!

in all honesty, probably not - although if i ever end up transcribing it, all bets are off.

==

this is maybe a little hard to understand, if you weren't a teenager in a very specific period - about '91-'99, the 90s i guess, when the nu metal shift "corrected" things and tough guys went backing to being metalheads.

that period overlaps with a period when punk fashion moved from subculture to dominant culture. as with any other failed social revolution, the period is more defined by certain subculture traits being co-opted than it was by any meaningful change in social attitudes, even if it did correspond with a move towards liberalizing social attitudes in the older members of gen x.

i remember playing this for my aunt, who was a teenager in the 80s, and she was just confused by it. in her day, the skaters were the skinny punk kids that got picked on by the meathead jock metal heads. as mentioned, i think people that were teenagers in the 00s may more readily associate with this as well.

but the 90s were weird in this sense. skater culture in the 90s was defined by a sort of thuggish machismo gang mentality that overlapped more into gangster rap than punk rock. what you had where i grew up was a lot of upper middle class white kids skating because it was advertised to them as the "cool thing to do" and in the process co-opting this sort of survivalist 'hood mentality into a tool of oppression that they used to bully and intimidate the kids that, a decade before, would have identified as skateboarders. those kids may have maintained an interest in punk rock, but weren't generally accepted into the skater clique - which was essentially the "in group".

the culmination may seem a little surreal nowadays, if for no other reason than that it's been forgotten. but i remember sneaking through back alleys, evading skateboarding gangs made up of kids into slayer, while i had socal punk music blasting through my headphones. and i'm sure you'll get similar stories if you ask around - or maybe you were also that kid.

on one hand, this track was constructed to be sort of precious, and i think that it is. it's a pretty catchy pop song, really. on the other hand, i think i was trying to be a bit tougher than i actually was. i wasn't one to back down from confrontation - i'm still not. while i think it's true that i could have taken most of these brats one-on-one, i probably would have mostly chosen not to. see, the fear was always more that they'd convert the boards into weapons and then jump you. in canada, guns aren't much of a concern, but knives are.

...and the fear often came out of trivial reasons. talking with somebody's girlfriend. having a pair of headphones or a pair of shoes that might be worth something. basic thug shit.

in hindsight, the analysis here is a little simplistic. suggesting that these kids are going to grow up into pimps is problematic on numerous levels, although i can state with blunt honesty that a number of the people the song was about have grown up to be petty criminals with lengthy criminal records. i have to own that lack of depth and how it comes out in sometimes less than ideal statements, but i'm going to once again blame that on my age.

overall, i like this track on both a musical and thematic level. i just wish i had articulated myself a little bit better.

--

there was a specific story that influenced the track. when i was in the ninth grade, one of these skater bro types took it upon himself to start body-checking me into lockers. it was well understood that this person was older, but that just gave him more clout in the school's skater clique; he knew the older kids that they looked up to. i was never certain if he was on his second or third try at grade 9.

this wasn't the first time somebody had tried to get physical with me, but it was an escalation that i couldn't really tolerate. people flicking my ears was an annoyance, and especially so when it was a game, but it's the kind of thing one withstands. these were full on, run-at-me body checks that seemed to be designed with intent to harm.

i actually tried a few different tactics before i reacted. i tried sitting behind in class until he left, but it was visibly starting to make the female teacher uncomfortable that i was just sitting around waiting after class - and perhaps not unreasonably so. as for bringing it up with the teacher? well, this guy went out of his way to look for a teacher watching before he took a run. i couldn't be followed around by a teacher all day. i had to react on my own.

so, i tricked him into running at my open leg, which had him fall face first into the locker. he did not see the retribution in the act; he got up looking for a fight. as i was walking toward the exit, which was a staircase downwards, he took another run at me - which i dodged. that was an adrenaline filled movement, i tell you - he was full of stupid, hot rage and sidestepped like an angry bull. but, i still had to time it. there was no escape. he ended up falling down several flights of stairs and breaking his leg. consider what would have happened if i hadn't moved - even considering that i may have helped him lose his balance, a little.

from that point onwards, i lived in fear of being swarmed. rumours were floating around that i'd better stay away from certain people - which was a broadcast to me to stay low. i got the message, and spent the next several years sneaking around back passageways in and out of the school. i learned where the cuts in the fences were, how to detour across floor levels to follow the crowd, how to time the bus (we had public transit passes - and that fact alone probably spared me broken bones) to come in to class during the national anthem and other various scheduling and transiting tactics to avoid being alone at critical junctures. and, then i started to enjoy living that way, too.

i don't think that student came back the next year, so i'm not sure if he ever finished grade 9. but, part of the reason i'm telling you this story is that it helps paint a clearer demographic picture of the narrative that i'm presenting. if you remove the "skater" designation, this could be a story about gangs in schools that could be applied equally well across any other grouping. it just happened to be that the gangs at my school were populated by white skater kids, some from the welfare projects and others comfortably middle class. that might help to explain what some might see as a difficult reference point.

--

i've presented this track in chronological ordering because i wanted to tell the story of the track itself. looking through my releases, it may be difficult to tell what is an ep from what is a single, and what is an ep from what is a record. this is an ep, and not a single. it's an ep because it's a conceptual ordering of the tracks, rather than just an exploration of a single incarnation of a specific track.

i don't deny that the lyrics are painful. and, wasn't i supposed to be getting rid of painful vocals? well, perhaps. but, note that no vocal takes of this track make it on to any of the abum-format presentations of it, excepting inricycled. the vocals are tied into the concept of the ep, which is a narration of the song as it developed.

so, chronological ordering is the only rational way to present the tracks. further, a comprehensive exploration of the track's development actually becomes necessary, in order to narrate it's entire development.

i'm not going to take this approach to every single. i just think that this track had to be preserved in this kind of way.

--

initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015. compiled on jan 4, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, drum kit, sequencing, vocal noises, vocals, samples, digital wave editing, production

released january 12, 1998

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/skaters


1) deleted original 1997 mix. april 5, 1997.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-original-1997-mix

2) deleted 1998 original, unsequenced mix from a 112 kbps mp3. jan 12, 1998.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-1998-archived-112-kbps-mp3

3) 1998 cd mix. resequenced in june, 1998.

4) 2013 remaster of 1997 demo cassette. initially written in 1997. remastered in nov, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2013-remaster-of-1997-demo-mix

5) deleted 2013 remaster of 1998 demo cd. initially recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in dec, 2013.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2013-remaster-of-1998-cd-mix

6) version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. recreated in jan, 1998. reclaimed july 1, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2015-reconstruction-from-1998-source-tapes

7) electronics only 2015 remix. recreated in jan, 1998. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015.
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/skaters-2015-electronics-only-mix

permission (backwards guitar mix)

when i initially made this track, i integrated a bunch of backwards guitar effects. i've now reconstructed this.

==

this is the remake of permission, which is really funky and neat, but i ended up rejecting it because the guitar solo directly lifts the ending melody from "the perfect drug". i don't really remember the logic behind how it got there in the first place (did i realize after or was it purposefully meant as a 'sample'?), but i do specifically recall saying "i can't use this". i think maybe i also thought the lyrics were sort of dumb, after all.

actually, i think i'm remembering that i put the 'sample' in on purpose because the vocals were so derivative, then kibboshed the whole thing.

yeah. i was playing the melody as i was testing levels, and i decided that it actually sounded really good - but that i couldn't use it, or i would be sealing the track as an outtake. i then decided that it should be an outtake anyways and went with it.

initially written in 1996. recreated in jan, 1998. reclaimed july 2, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on dec 26, 2015. digitally enhanced on jan 4, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/permission-backwards-guitar-mix

a deleted exercise in hipster homophobia

i ended up using an experiment with a broken tape deck as my segue after this track, and cut this off the record, but this extended mix is what the track was initially built to sound like. it's a literal parse of the instrumental remix with the untitled remix on inrimixed.

initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in late 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. expanded on jan 4, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/a-deleted-exercise-in-hipster-homophobia

they issue extreme cold alerts for the homeless shelters. -10 is not so bad if you have a warm jacket and a place to get a hot chocolate after. it's pretty nasty, though, if you're stuck in it in a tshirt and have nowhere to stay.

www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/more-snow-on-the-horizon-for-ontario-and-quebec-up-to-10-cm/61803/

02/03-01-2016: done!

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriclaimed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/schizoid-terrorist-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimixed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead-instrumental-mix

fuck the dead (instrumental mix)

when i rebuilt this track, i skipped the spiderman theme shake down in the middle. it was initially added into the track in a cut and paste process; it didn't fit the theme of the inriclaimed project to resplice the track like that. but, this is a better approximation of a recreation of the full track.

originally created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. finally reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and re-edited on jan 3, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/fuck-the-dead-instrumental-mix

schizoid (total)

this version may be better than the version on the record, but there's a conceptual unity i want to maintain.

-

updated electronic orchestra added to version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. 

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-total

schizoid (clean)

there's a complete remix on the inrimixed page.

-

bass blur removed from version reconstructed in 2015 from tape. 

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics and remixed as alternate on jan 3, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/schizoid-clean

publishing inriclaimed (inri024)

when i sat down to complete my discography in the fall of 2013, one of the first problems i came up against was what to do with my first two proper records, inri and inriched. in some sense, these records were complete: they were early works, but they were complete recordings and the records were sequenced with quite a bit of detail. it would not be right to modify them in a structural sense, as they were completed as they were when they were. however, the mixes had been degraded rather substantially through compression and the vocals had a lot of problems. further, i knew the source material was incomplete, but did not actually check the master tapes to see how incomplete they were.

i decided that the best thing to do was to try and remaster them using izotope. the result was noticeably "better", and they were released in that form. i also released a compilation of shorts that focused on instrumental sections as inricycled b. however, i had to make a lot of compromises to get to that point. further, the fact that i couldn't remove the vocals continued to bother me.

i finally got around to digitizing the tapes in december of 2014, as an archival step. i did not expect to be able to do anything with this material, but i wanted it digitized to prevent the tapes from deteriorating further. what i learned through this process was that the masters were far more complete than i thought. samples and continuity were missing, but i seem to have dumped most of the sequencing and a lot of the digital noise generation. this forced me to rethink what i was able to present. i decided that if i was going to go through these tracks and recreate them then i was going to do it comprehensively, which would mean completely recreating a number of the tracks. i decided that this would be a project better left for a later date.

by june of 2015, i had made it through the discography to the end of the second period and began finalizing the aleph sequence of dvd and bd flac/mp3 compilations. i decided that the only cohesive way to present period one is as a single disc, which meant i needed to address reconstructing the tracks immediately in order to close it.

the material was digitized via the exact same tascam four-track it was recorded on to, sent out track by track. however, the material was bounced heavily when it was recorded, which means the digitized tracks generally have multiple parts. the four tracks generally exist as follows:

1) an electronics track. drum machines, synths, sequencers, loops, noises.
2) a guitars track. there are usually several guitar parts in this one track.
3) a bass track, or a synth bass track.
4) a vocal track.

unfortunately, digitizing the tracks one by one left them out of sync at a rate of around a half a second per minute, but there is no clear pattern in how they are out of sync. shifting them back in sync was a time consuming process done in cubase by importing the remastered tracks and trying to find markers in the wave files, then using a sort of "newton's method" to compress or decompress the files until they lined up with the master. this issue was compounded by the fact that the initial masters were sometimes subtly out of time. once they were shifted back in sync, the tracks had to be equalized very carefully to try and isolate the constituent parts. for example, a track with a drum machine and a synth may have been split across a high and low shelf to isolate them in the mix. with the exception of this heavy equalization work (and amp simulation for the bass parts), these songs have not been modified from their original form - except to remove the vocals.

this release has rendered the previous inri009, inricycled b, as superfluous and consequently replaces it in the sequence. it has now been moved to inrijected.

i am very happy to finally be able to present this material in a form that i would find listenable, today, as an adult. this has been a very long process. i hope you feel that the results were worth the effort put into it, periodically, over many years.

initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, drum programming, synthesizers, octavers, noise generators, sequencers, sampling, found sounds, cool edit synthesis, digital wave editing, loops, mic noises & vocal relics, production

released january 29, 1999

http://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriclaimed

finalizing while i can’t always convince myself that my paranoia is frivolous, i can effectively control how it affects others

this is absolutely final. the record is totally closed.

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on jan 3, 2016.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others

01-01-2016: schizoid crisis

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/electronic-pieces-in-a-primitive-style

(no subject)

mom
Hi J,

Happy New Year!    How have you been?    I permanently deleted my facebook account 3 months ago, so I guess this is the only way to stay in contact now.  I'm still sober, been a bit tough a few times, but didn't cave....Still plugging along.  I thought I would really enjoy having all this free time on my hands, but am realizing that I need to find a part-time job(emphasis on part-time), so will put out resume's starting next month, and hopefully will find something in the spring-time.  Didn't do much of anything for Christmas or New Year's, and you?  Did you do anything exciting!?   your sister is pregnant again, baby due in March.  your step-sister is still living with her father..they moved to Carleton Place... I don't see very much of her...Not for me not trying...Have offered to pick her up many times now...Oh well.   Nana is still healthy as a horse...lol...Will undoubtedly outlive all of us!   My father is not doing so well, but then hasn't been doing so well for a few years now...   It's been such a wonderful mild winter so far...Hope it keeps up this way!   Miss You!  Love You! 

jessica
i've been spending the last few months trying to figure out why my equipment has been malfunctioning, and finally came to an answer about two weeks ago. i figure that my headphone has a short in it, and it's picking up environmental magnetic fields that are charging them and turning them into a radio antenna, thereby distorting the output in the phones. short term solution: tinfoil can block out the radio waves. and it's really seriously been working for the last two weeks. but you can imagine that it took a long time to come to such a conclusion.

so, i've spent the last two weeks finally finishing two records of material that i wrote in the 90s, and wanted to strip the vocals out of. the only versions i had of these songs had some pretty bad teenage vocal writing that was more or less ruining them. the vocals were just really immature; on some level, i was a teen at the time, and it retains entertainment value to a teenage market. but, i felt the songs were strong enough to stand as their own for a broader market. so, it feels good to finish that.

that's the last thing i had to do to finish my first phase of writing, which was 96-99. i can now order that material in a final presentation, and move on to finishing my second period, which was 2000-2004 and is very nearly completed. i hope i can move on to starting my third period by the spring at the very latest.

the two records are here:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriclaimed
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/electronic-pieces-in-a-primitive-style

that's basically all i've been thinking about over the holidays. i got my yearly extra large pizza at midnight on christmas eve. nothing else exciting, really.

you know, it's really an open question what's up with this, exactly.

you have to think the guy knows that the border policy is really a labour policy. i think he knows he's trying to capitalize on nafta, but he's not really taking on the southwestern agriculture industry, is he? and everybody else?

so, what happens next when all these industry lobbies are like "hey. donald. let's have a talk?". how far does this go before the whole machine gets set in motion, here.

31-12-2015: brand new year, same old misanthropy

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others

TheeCM5
Sutton has stated before that he considered Capitalism (at least modern capitalism) to be on the same plane as Socialism, Fascism and Communism. I dont understand why everyone keeps screaming "right wing looney propaganda" while Sutton does dubiously leave quite a few vital details out. Like the Hoover institute harboring a den of Steering Committee paid for CFR members. But Sutton goes right at Crony Capitalism and points out private companies and individuals influencing politics and regime changes. Its amazing people cant see that he obviously had a change of heart at the end of his time as an intellectual and decided to blow the whistle. Funny because i could never imagine Chomsky or Zinn saying a word about Socialist-Capitalist collusion

deathtokoalas
+TheeCM5
well, he was a right libertarian - he was just an educated right libertarian. that fact that he didn't buy into any of the mainstream, you know....john birch society type propaganda...on the still-contemporary libertarian right doesn't contradict his right libertarianism. it just means he didn't buy into any of the nonsense that circles around it. he even had to go out of his way to deny he was pushing a jewish banking conspiracy.

he's always very clearly uncomfortable with the language he uses, but chooses it in order to get through to his audience. he fully realized they weren't actually socialists, but merely wealthy industrialists taking advantage of closed economies to corner foreign markets. it's not socialist-capitalist collusion; it's just capitalism. that's abundantly clear in his writing, but was a little harder to state in public at the height of the cold war.

TheeCM5
+deathtokoalas he's criticizing gangsterism of all types. I acknowledge that he couches his language in euphemisms like socialist and wall street. But, he genuinely went after WASP elite, Yale bankers and Nat Security elite who would not have been Jewish nor Lefists or communists or socialists. Corporate Fascism is really what he's attacking, if you break it down its just corporations and private individuals using states as their private armies and resource supply. Sutton had to be subtle in his understanding of collusion between Capitalists and Soviets.

publishing electronic pieces in a primitive style (inri066)

this record is now finished.

==

when i sat down to complete my discography in 2013, one of the ideas that immediately jumped out was to try and reinterpret some of the inri tracks from the late 1990s as modern pieces. as i believed that my source tapes were unusable at the time (which i eventually realized was not the case - see inri024), the conditions for this being a workable project would need to be the existence of the original drum tracks, along with the existence of some midi files.

i was gifted my ry30 in the summer of 1997 to compensate for the loss of my drum kit and studio space, but i did not have any recording gear again until christmas. so, i spent the fall programming the drum machine and teaching myself the basics of sequencing and sound design, using the primitive tools i had available to me. by the time i got my four track, as well as my jx-8p, the ry30 was full, and re-recording my first songs was just a matter of transferring the completed material from the electronic equipment to tape. so, i initially considered making a companion ep to inrisampled that would document my time spent programming the ry30 along with my time spent learning how to manipulate sound. the difference between the drum tracks at this stage and the initial collage experiments, however, is that the drum tracks were not complete songs. so, this was abandoned due to the product being a little dry. but, i still wanted to make an ep around the ry30, perhaps by orchestrating the existing companion midi tracks.

this idea then quickly merged with what would become thru (inri070) and eventually discarded itself within itself when it was realized that the existing midi files for the 90s material were too sparse to really utilize, especially in comparison to the midi files from the early 00s. thru was deleted and then resuscitated over the course of 2014 and 2015, eventually releasing in mid 2015 as a 2001-2003 project, leaving the 90s material in the dustbin of my own history.

it was in june, 2015 that i realized that the source tapes were usable after all, and cycled back around to the beginning of the reconstruction in order to complete the relevant tracks as instrumental pieces. this idea kind of recreated itself in the nature of the source tapes, as i had bounced all of the electronics together into the same channel as a mixing step, back in the 90s. so, i found myself with these ready-to-publish electronic tracks right off the tape that incorporated a combination of the ry30 tracks, jx-8p parts, soundblaster programs, zoom 1010 noises and cool edit experiments. all they really needed was a little attention on the mastering.

i flipped this over, in the end: what each of these tracks are is their final album mixes, with the guitar and bass parts deleted (unless the bass was done on a synthesizer). so, there was some post-production added over 2015 in the form of updated soundfonts, digital mastering and digital effects processing. but, these are really flourishes on the existing tracks.

it was at the end of dec, 2015 that further similar electronics-only ry30-centric remixes were creating for some later songs, as well, thereby filling out the disc and closing the project.

i sold my ry30 in may, 2003 to raise money to go to british columbia. my logic was that i'd really maximized what i was going to get out of it, and that i'd already discarded it, anyways: by that time, i'd been writing drum parts in the scorewriter for a few years already, and had barely touched the ry30 in a long time. but, i regret that decision, in hindsight. and, i expect to pick up another one, one day.

originally written, programmed and recorded from 1996-2002. reclaimed & remixed from june to december of 2015. initial completion date was december 31, 2015. as always, please use headphones.

credits:
j - drum & other programming, orchestral & other sequencing, guitar effects, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, synthesizers, loops, vocal noises & relics, sampling, sound design, production

the various rendered electronic orchestras include organ, sitar, bells, synthesizer effects, tuba, saxophone, flute, clarinet, orchestra hit, piano, violin, viola, cello, contrabass and various full string sections

released april 22, 2003

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/electronic-pieces-in-a-primitive-style

30-12-2015: yearly amnesty

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others

idischzo

so, this version got done first.

i think that the track is actually fine, it's just that the static this morning is a little bit strong. we'll see if i'm right and it fades over the day.

initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. reclaimed july 12, 2015. reprogrammed and reconstructed on dec 31, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/idischzo

the term "natural climate change" implies that it's an act of god or something. but, historical climate change has been the consequence of a myriad of complex causes, including biological activity. look up the great oxygenation event for one particularly extreme example. one should consequently not mentally categorize "natural" and "anthropogenic" climate change as different things. they're really fundamentally the same thing - same causes, same consequences. and, we can modify so-called "natural" climate change just as well as we can modify so-called "anthropogenic" climate change.

the real question is about how long it takes for the oil industry to drop the orwellian charade and realize they're only fooling the village idiots.

...and about why it is that humans insist on separating themselves from nature.

www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/huge-natural-gas-leak-still-spewing-methane-in-california/61769/

i'm still holding out hope on a winter cancellation in the very south-western reaches of ontario. i think it's a definitional problem, though: what defines winter in an empirical sense? is it temperature dependent? because it's not unknown in canada to have short, disconnected bursts of cold weather at any time of the year. so, then it should be sustained. see, i'm not convinced we can get a sustained level of sufficiently cold weather here this year to qualify, but what is the temperature, anyways? zero seems reasonable. but, then is it zero for the overnights or zero for sustained highs? i don't see a sustained period of subzero highs here in windsor, so by that metric it seems doubtful.

but, it's probably not the best to measure it by sustained highs, as we're dealing with a continuous rather than a discrete problem (quantizing things isn't always useful, and is pretty much always really just a shorthand guess when it is). so, if we get a sustained continuous period of near-zero temperatures with only moments above freezing, that may be close to qualifying as winter. but, then how near-freezing is it, really, and what are the actual observable changes? that happens sometimes in november, or even october, and we consider that to be fall.

i think a better metric is probably related to snow cover. that is a clear indication of winter. and, i think that's what i'm holding out on not happening at all this year in windsor - that we're able to avoid any serious cold snap below -10, and that we're able to avoid any snow cover at all. if that happens, winter will have been cancelled for the year.

www.theweathernetwork.com/news/articles/january-pattern-change-to-make-mildness-a-distant-memory/61773/

i have wiped out my block list.

it's yearly amnesty - but don't interpret it as a decrease in expectations.

if this is a culmination of ten years of work, how did you end up titling it obama in china?

so, what do i think about the rebalance, or the pivot, or the strategic rethink or whatever you want to call it? well, i think the first point is that questioning what you want to call it immediately brings up the question of who the audience is for this, and i have to assume it's domestic - because the administration has to realize that the chinese are going to see past the marketing issues and analyze it for what it actually is. so, the question of whether this is a containment policy or not is really directed at the pacifist streak in the democratic base.

of course it's a containment policy.

but, see, even the language they use indicates a containment policy, it's just being marketed as some kind of reasonable containment policy. the united states is an established power. china is a rising power with the - distant - potential to eclipse it. no established power is going to try and work against the interests of a rising power. rather, it's going to seek to protect it's own interests and then attempt to interact with the rising power as a collaborator, perhaps to attempt to influence it to help carry out it's own goals. that's what a containment policy means in the existing context.

(edit: ask britain about this, regarding it's continuing influence over america)

now, that's a different thing than a containment policy of china fifty years ago, when it was trying to re-establish itself as an actual, existing state. and, it's different than a containment policy for a small, largely irrelevant state like cuba. it's just what a containment policy for a large, potentially powerful state looks like - protection of assets first, and then attempts at co-option.

so, to say that china is meant to be a part of the rebalance is not to deny it is a containment policy, it's just to define what a containment policy means under the existing circumstances.

do i think it's a good idea, though?

i think the idea of china striking a country like australia at any point in the near future is so distant that the chinese are correct to be alarmed by a military build-up in the region. 60% of the navy in what is essentially a colonial holding? so, that's the first point - it makes sense to protect assets, but this is being done with a level of force such that questions about possible offensive capabilities are more than chinese paranoia. it is reasonable to suggest that if it was truly about protecting assets then it would not be such a strong focus.

i also think that the americans are holding to certain positions that have no outcome besides conflict. china has every right to include taiwan and vietnam, at least, in it's sphere of interest. historical chinese claims on the phillipines have long expired but, beyond that, i think that the only region that america has any business seriously defending is japan. even south korea is an inevitable loss, and one that is not worth fighting for.

and, really what are the americans fighting for? the answer is cheap labour. they're trying to siphon out the chinese peripheral through "trade agreements" that reduce largely to plantations for american products. note that the chinese government continues to fund communist insurgencies throughout the region; the inevitable outcome of this is a string of proxy wars that america cannot hope to win.

truly partnering with china as a rising power - and containing them effectively - would require america to back out of certain relationships and hold to a broader peripheral.

there's no doubt that this is logically necessary, if your logic is imperial. but, it's overly aggressive and, if that is not reversed, it may succeed in creating the problems that it's meant to prevent.

29-12-2015: schizoid & the necessity of eating

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/while-i-cant-always-convince-myself-that-my-paranoia-is-frivolous-i-can-effectively-control-how-it-affects-others

more proof that alcohol makes people retarded.

i think canada should build a wall on the border.

canada is eventually going to be faced with a serious problem of americans migrating north to escape an uninhabitable region.

i really don't want to let them in. sorry.

so, i think trump is on to something. and, i'd be happy to see my tax dollars build it, too.

in fact, it will create a lot of jobs.

fettay schake
who cares if the lgbt community is insulted

deathtokoalas
+fettay schake
i think a better thing to point out is that the lgbtq community broadly doesn't really care what pewdiepie thinks.

there's no "pedophile" in lgbtq.

deathtokoalas
+Ariana Terrince
"people should be allowed to use the internet without being called disgusting."

no. that's not a right that stems from any historical process. it's something that your kindergarten teacher made up and lied to you about.

however, a right that is enshrined in our history is the right to call somebody disgusting without legal consequence. there may be social consequences, though.

just as i have the right to suggest that pewdiepie is basically a retarded pedophile anyways, and nobody with an iq higher than two sds below the mean cares what he thinks.

he can say whatever he wants. really. nobody cares.

if it's not true yet, it will be true soon: pewdiepie will be the thing that it's cool to grow out of. kids that were 12 five years ago are 17 now. it's going to be that thing that people collectively look back and cringe upon, which will filter it's way down and kill his audience at the source.

let him dig his own grave. he's already half done.

you'll meet some vegans that do the research and live relatively healthy on it - and that means taking supplements. any vegan that tries to tell you that you don't need supplements is the other kind, which doesn't do the research and is every bit as unhealthy as your average diabetic, overweight american.

pizza doesn't become better for you by taking the pepperoni off and replacing the processed animal cheese with processed soy cheese. and, all those processed soy meats are really just another type of fast food.

the reality is that 95% of the vegan food you get in the store is really absolute petrochemical trash. in fact, here's a hint: if it advertises itself as vegan, it's almost certainly trash.

you can't avoid the absorption issues either, but ymmv on it. that is, you might not notice it. but, there's a reason vegans tend to wake up one day, eat a steak and claim that they're all of a sudden ten times more energetic - you do notice the absorption issues when you reverse the diet.

the moral issues are...what do you do with a billion cows if not kill them? and, then why not eat them? i mean, i'm not denying the moral quandary, here. but, the existence of mass agriculture is an infinite loop that you can't escape from.

climate change is a better argument, but it leads to the conclusion that we need to reduce consumption rather than eliminate it. and, that's what your doctor will tell you, too. you want a little meat in your diet. you just don't want to eat twice the daily requirement three times a day.

that said, the soy milk is actually better fortified than real milk. that's a good idea.

Dorna Moss
+jessica Animal agriculture is definitely NOT an "infinite loop that we can't escape from." Look up "supply" and "demand." The idea is, if more people went vegan, the demand for meat would go down and as a result, fewer cows, chickens, and pigs would be bred for meat consumption (i.e., the "supply" would also go down, once demand does). Just consider cigarettes: consumers purchase far fewer cigarettes today than they did in the early 1900s, and as a result, far fewer cigarettes are produced. In terms of having billions of animals "on the loose" if everyone went vegan, the truth is, "everyone going vegan" will not happen overnight, so this isn't a realistic concern. In terms of climate change, I agree that collectively, we do need to "reduce consumption," and reducing/eliminating animal products is an excellent way to do this. A vegan diet uses 600 galons less water per day, per person, and cuts your greenhouse gas emissions in half. Not only that, but the amount of grain fed to farm animals today is enough to feed the world twice over. And finally, in terms of diet, more and more studies are coming out every day touting the health benefits of a plant-based diet. For example, see the China Study by Dr. T. Colin Campbell, and check out some of Dr. Michael Greger's stuff.

jessica
+dorna moss so, you're suggesting a slow, managed genocide, then.

if you kill a billion cows tomorrow, you've killed a billion cows. how many do you want to kill? 100 billion?

Dorna Moss
"Over 56 billion farmed animals are killed every year by humans. More than 3,000 animals die every second in slaughterhouses around the world." - Quick Google Search.

If we refrain from consuming animal products, there will be fewer animals "mated" to make our food, and ultimately, fewer animals will be killed. It wouldn't be a "slow, managed genocide" because by definition, a genocide implies deliberate killing. "Deliberate killing" is exactly what happens in slaughterhouses around the world, so it would be far more accurate to call the current "status quo" of animal consumption a "genocide." I'm not trying to argue with you -- you seem like a bright young person who is smart enough to ask questions. I'm just stating facts that I (and many others) have uncovered after having done extensive research. If you want to learn more, watch Earthlings, Cowspiracy, Forks over Knives, check out some of Dr. Michael Greger's stuff, and read the China Study.

jessica
+Dorna Moss i appreciate your recommendations, but i think i'll have to pass on them.

what's currently happening with cows is not a genocide, but more of a system of slavery. i mean, that's what farming is; or, perhaps one could suggest that slavery is a type of farming, the point being that they're virtually equivalent - and different than a genocide. the slave master wants to ensure future generations, not eliminate them.

it's actually an important point that a lot of people miss in a wide array of contexts - for example, when they compare south africa to palestine. south africa was slavery; farming. palestine is genocide.

what you're suggesting is genocide instead of slavery. and, what i'm suggesting to you is that the total loss in life would actually be lesser if we killed them all at once.

and, so it is an inescapable loop. and, it is. for we cannot grant the cows their freedom. that's beyond the limits of liberalism.

Dorna Moss
I really liked your analogies. Whether it's slavery or genocide, what we're doing to the animals is wrong. You seem like a smart kid. Consider looking into the documentaries I mentioned, especially Cowspiracy (it's free on Netflix). It clearly shows how animal agriculture is destroying this planet.

i'm sick of this.

the modern evolutionary synthesis is now over 75 years old. you would have to be at least that old to be tied to the ideas that existed before it.

we're getting past the point, now, where this is an acceptable discussion. i want to hear media take the responsible position here, which is not providing creationist "balance" to entrenched and thoroughly tested science but outright rejection of superstition and ignorance.

all the old people are dead, now. that was true ten years ago, really; it's beyond question, now. so, let's get with it.

let's say you were born in the year 1900. maybe you went to a one-room school (and walked uphill both ways, no doubt - in the blizzard. in june.), and maybe it taught you your r's just fine. but, maybe the core of the curriculum was the bible. maybe something as simple as an acid-base test was kind of exotic.

so, it's 1970. you're old. you know what you were taught, and you're resistant to changes. holding to your ignorance is not a particularly strong argument, but it's at least some kind of excuse. and, democracy demands some kind of representation.

that excuse is no longer valid, or at least is not here. almost everybody alive today was born after 1935, and had perfectly open access to scientific literature. it's a choice to be ignorant.

...and that choice should be acknowledged for what it is and treated as what it is.

it's always astounding to me that white people have such a hard time understanding that they're monkeys, too.

the vid is fake, though. it's satire.

this kind of confrontation - while perhaps dramatized here - is not uncommon. and, protesters tend to enjoy mocking the situation.

it's very common for protesters to satirically approach each other like this.

while i acknowledge that the timing (related to the infographic) is curious, i'm actually going to go with cocaine, or perhaps legally prescribed amphetamines, as the most likely cause.

see, there isn't a left-right criticism here. it isn't even really a criticism of drug culture, per se. it's more of a criticism of the groupthink that comes with hyper-commercialism - which was really the basis of what we call the 60s "counter-culture". it's consequently some kind of an anti-capitalist critique. what frank was able to see was that the so-called "counter-culture" was really just expressing the same value systems that the dominant culture was. it was just a type of fashion, and, as such, was firmly rooted in capitalist values. that's what he's mocking here - the reality that the supposed revolutionaries of the period were just all about buying into something.

i've pointed this out before: it categorizes zappa properly as the definitive proto-punk.

28-12-2015: viewless & idiotic

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/young-people-have-informed-and-defined-views-that-should-not-be-discarded-off-hand-due-to-their-age
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nicotine-actually-has-relatively-useful-properties-as-a-stimulant

finalizing nicotine actually has relatively useful properties as a stimulant

i took a look at what i could do with the files from this track and concluded i couldn't do a whole lot. to begin with, the tape was warped over the start of the track. second, a lot of the detail was added in at the wave editing stage, and consequently cannot be reconstructed. so, remastering it became a non-starter. further, without the extra flourishes, the electronics only version is pretty boring.

but, the track does belong in the concept of this record - if it were excluded, it would be the only major track to be excluded (except "too cold", which i do not have tapes for).

as it happens to be, though, this is the only track from this period that i kept an instrumental copy of. so, i've just run it through the mastering effects i've used for the other tracks, for consistency, and uploaded as is.

there's one more track left. this will really be done by the end of the year!

initially written in 1997. recreated over the summer of 1998. remastered on dec 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/nicotine-actually-has-relatively-useful-properties-as-a-stimulant

finalizing young people have informed and defined views that should not be discarded off hand due to their age

this track is also closed. i have two more tracks to analyze before this record closes.

the trick was that i had accidentally stumbled upon an error in my copy of cubase: when you duplicate a track, it seems to reproduce itself slightly misaligned. this opened up a lot of space for wave interference in the higher harmonics, which created a little bit of distortion in the high end of the bass guitar - a slightly unusual effect. but, when you reopen the track, it realigns properly - which was just overloading the bass guitar.

it was when i was finally able to reproduce the error that the mix came into focus.

initially written in 1996. recreated over 1998 and finalized in dec, 1998. reclaimed july 19, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on dec 29, 2015.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/young-people-have-informed-and-defined-views-that-should-not-be-discarded-off-hand-due-to-their-age

27-12-2015: split day; making progress in the mix

tracks worked on in this vlog:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/track/young-people-have-informed-and-defined-views-that-should-not-be-discarded-off-hand-due-to-their-age