i have mentioned that i'm going to be refocusing several times, now, and have been trying to kick back into some kind of productive cycle since the start of the pandemic, but keep getting distracted or sidetracked. at this point, trying to pick back up at the start of period 3, or trying to parachute back into the alter-reality would be difficult to even make sense of.
i am instead going to need to just start at the start and work forward. that means starting with the journal, in 1989, and just working through linearly. no alter-reality. no lynchian split narrative. just starting from the start and moving forward.
that means i'm going to be focusing mostly on building the offline writing, but also that i'm going to be restarting a number of blogs in real time, including the diet blog.
something i've been meaning to do since i moved to windsor is sample some of the local restaurants. the last month and a half has thrown me out of my diet and forced me to order food, which has got me back to thinking about that. i am intending on weekly restaurant updates at the diet blog, in addition to the diet blog itself. i've mostly eaten fast food over the last month, but i'd like to expand that to more of the local restaurants one by one.
i also need to rebuild sections of my studio that were lost over the years, which is something i was doing before the house got bought and i had to deal with the legal fight over housing. i'll be doing that linearly, as well, as i go through the journal. i will get my first acoustic guitar, then my first electric guitar, and need to have emulations of them in my studio, for period 3 recordings. the first electric guitar was a hondo telecaster copy, which i have replaced with a hannah montana mini tele. it's actually a nice little washburn. i could repaint it a solid purple. the thing is that i have freakishly small hands, so i actually prefer miniature scale guitars. i also have an epiphone sg jr and a fender mini squire, both solid red. i will be looking for a comparable acoustic guitar, which my dad sold to buy me the tele. i still have my first amp, from 1992. i also need to get a recorder, as we had recorder classes in elementary school. my younger sister played piano from a very young age, and i also had that around. i'll rebuild slowly from there, and replace everything that was lost. i'll also need to fill in minimal missing sections of the existing discography, inri000-inri100 (1995-2005), but this is mostly a writing project that i've been eating away at since 2017.
i'm basically in the same mental position i was in in 2013. i'm overwhelmed and having difficulty focusing on any one thing. if i pick up somewhere in between, i'm just going to start running around in circles again, like i've been doing since 2017. 2013-2016 was extremely productive, but i started in 1995 and should have started in 1989 and i focused only on the music and have since expanded the scope of the project to include video, writing and other types of media. this time, i'm starting in 1989 and moving comprehensively forward.
but i will also exist. i will eat. i will go to shows. i will have political opinions. i would like to start vlogging again. etc. all of these things will happen in real time, in the way that they must.
what i can't be doing is trying to exist in ten different spaces in time. i'm not a tralfamadorian. i can do two things at once. that is all.
that means that this mass of writing and video from 2013-2025 is going to have to wait until it comes up in sequence before i can finish it, and that's going to be quite a ways into the future. that's fine.
when the journal is done, it's done.
regarding the stalker, i don't seem to have shaken them, but the depth of the harassment is clearer now than it was two years ago and it is now crystal clear that i'm going to have to get them arrested and put in jail. that was not clear before. it is now. i'm dealing with a true believer. this person will not stop voluntarily, they must be forced to stop, and i will have to force them to stop.