From: "jessica murray" <dfhldgdhdlhfdla@gmail.com>
To: stepmother’s email address
i got the message from my sister saying he probably wouldn't make it through the night. i know i'm far away, but i also know there's not much i can say or do right now.
i tried to explain to my sister that i feel it's better for my own mental health to stay away from everything right now. i don't think i can do anything for anybody else, either. i've done a little crying over the last week, but i'm in a stable mental state right now and i kind of want to keep myself that way. when i get overwhelmed by things, i'm prone to extreme mental collapses and irrational, outlandish behaviour. when i'm not overwhelmed i'm the opposite; i suppose this is one of those times where i'm just being incomprehensibly rational: i feel i'm at peace, that everything that needed to be said and felt and released has happened, and that the only possible result of being there would have been to create a level of trauma that would haunt me for the next several years or decades. i'm sorry, but i feel it's better for me to avoid that.
i know this isn't the best time to ask, but i need to ask you to wire some cash. i guess we talked about this, but my plan for first and last has run into some complications. i was thinking i'd sign a lease for the upcoming month, then get the lease to odsp. at that point, they'd give me enough cash for first and last. however, it seems that the places i've been looking at want the money before the first. odsp won't front it. i could borrow the money from my grandmother, but the end result is that it would be repaid from the money you're giving me anyways.
i understand why right now isn't the best time to have this talk, but if it's possible to send me around $2000 in the next day or two that should be enough to let me get things in order and then some (in fact, it'd give me significant breathing room). we can talk about how we want to do the rest later (i'd prefer to let the $2000 be a five or six month advance and then do it monthly, but we can talk later).
j