how is it, now?
this persistent film - which i suspect is secondhand marijuana smoke but am weirded out by - seemed to be mostly out, until it started to dry. unfortunately, there's enough of this film left in my hair to bunch it up on the sides, which prevents it from sitting loosely on my shoulders, and is extremely unattractive. worse, when it dried completely, the result was less hairspray and more blow dry, which is even more disgusting. the only thing more disgusting than hairsprayed hair is blowdryed hair. i don't have a shirt that says "$2 slut" on it and am not looking to buy one, sorry. yuck. i'm extremely grossed out by this, and i had never seen it before 2023ish, but i've seen it a few times since and i know it washes out, as gross and frustrating as it is. hopefully, today is the last day, and one more day of long showers ends this disgustingness.
it does suggest the return of the loser stalkers this weekend, and i have heard them downstairs. it's a weird holiday weekend (tuesday is a holiday) in canada, and that's when these losers show up. what i'm learning from this is that modern psychiatry is as dumb as any other religion, and should be treated by rational people with the same amount of contempt and disdain that all other religions are. there's no other way to put it at this point. this is a bunch of magical thinking, a bunch of complete nonsense. it doesn't have the slightest empirical basis. you'd might as well be mumbling prayers at the wall. they keep coming back and as disgusting and frustrating as the situation is, the only way they can actually hurt me is through drugging me. they can babble bullshit at me when i'm sleeping all they want, so long as they don't drug me it's just as likely to have an effect on me as their prayers are to be answered. there's really not a functional difference between the therapy they're performing and sympathetic magic, as a form of prayer. this is what psychiatry has been reduced to in the absence of empirical direction, empty rituals that require deep faith in specious theory to even comprehend. what a sad display of futility and stupidity.
i have a blood rec that is waiting to go. i'll catch them if they fuck up. otherwise, as much as it pisses me off and makes me want to break their faces, i suppose they can waste their time on prayer and magic all they want.
....the fucking idiots.
i just wish they'd go pray somewhere else where i can't hear them.
so, i woke up around 21:30, poked around online, tidied up a bit, cleaned my bras by hand in the sink as i do (you needed to know that) and got some more pasta running a little after 23:00. this recipe is a little lighter:
- the 2 cloves of garlic went into the bowl first
- i just made the kd in the bowl, next [food bank item]
- add pasta
- add margarine
- add "cheese" mix
- add 100 g of grated marble cheese [end of cheese]
- mix
- dump a can of chick peas in the large bowl [food bank item]
- add one tbsp of oregano, one tbsp of thyme, one tbsp of basil
- add 1 tbsp of cumin, 1 tbsp of paprika, 1 tbsp of hemp seeds, 1 tbsp of nutritional yeast, 1 tbp of sunflower seeds
- add frank's
i finished this up about an hour ago and made some coffee.
without the added ingredients, the combination of cumin and chick peas in the kd makes it taste like hamburger helper, which i haven't had in 20-30 years.
remaining items in the fridge are: chicken bone broth, beef broth cubes, a half a bulb of garlic, a half a pack of hemp seeds, a few tbsps of margarine.
i would estimate i have enough coffee left for two cups.
i do have piles of spices and canned food, and intend to do a big food bank run on friday.
this morning, then, will be the same as the last few days; i need to start with some minor cleaning, get in the shower just after sunrise, keep rehydrating and cleaning the film out of my hair until it's gone and then aim for laundry by the end of the day.
as mentioned, the next step is catching up on email and legal documents.