Friday, January 24, 2020

no, i'm a left-anarchist in the tradition of bakunin or kropotkin. it's mostly about the question of property - if you reject property, you align on the left.

it's just that in america, words don't mean what they mean everywhere else. barack obama and bernie sanders would be considered conservatives in most places, while donald trump would be considered to be decidedly liberal. the meaning of things get confused.

it's been a while since i called the lot of you conservatives, but it's still true.

pacifism, for example, is a conservative ideology. leftists believe in armed revolution, and a diversity of tactics around how to get there. i know this is confusing if you went to school here, but it's true - pacifism aligns with the religious and traditionalist types, like the quakers and orthodox jews, whereas the left is all hankering to burn the place down. now, i'll admit that bombing iraq is not the same thing as executing the pope, but there's still a fundamental point of confusion here between who is a radical pushing for change and who is a conservative trying to stop it. if you associate anti-war movements with the left, you're deeply confused. 

there's other examples; not right now. i've done it before, and i'll do it again.

to the extent that it's the really existing movements on the ground that are important rather than the abstract labels, what that means is that a person like me that tries to react to the actual meaning of words needs to be empirical - and it took me a few tries, but i've figured that out, now. chances are actually pretty good that your local socialist 101 is actually full of religious conservatives, rather than marxist or anarchist radicals. if you're looking for radicals, you're better of trying the religious groups. & etc. you've just gotta do the research, find the mapping, figure out how things actually are...

i'm done my fruit, so i'm shutting down.

but, it smells like a fucking dumpster fire in here.
and, i'll say it again.

you might think that you'd be free to smoke all day every day in a stateless society. who would stop you, right? but, i'll tell you - it's the cops that are protecting you from people that want to bang your door down and yell your face off, and drive you out of fucking town. you get rid of the state to protect you, and you won't like what happens next....
if you believed in liberty, you would respect the rights of your neighbours to sobriety, and to clean air.
you don't believe in liberty in any rational way.

you just believe in selfishness.
if you want to throw around libertarian arguments, be rigorous about it.

otherwise, what you are is a fucking nihilist - a randian objectivist, a utility monster and a piece of shit
but, listen.

that's not the point.

smoke yourself retarded. i don't give a fuck. just respect the fact that i don't want in on this and make sure your habits aren't bothering me.

it's a basic non-aggression principle - if your rights end where mine begin, that means you keep your smoke to yourself, and you take responsibility for it when people bitch about it.

this idea that you have some right to smoke wherever you want and fuck everybody else is fucking asinine.

and, every court system on the planet will uphold that it is, even if the cops in this city are fucking morons.
the un convention on the rights to smoke yourself retarded.

it's a fucking joke.
how many conventions and documents talk about the right to fresh air?

now, how many talk about the right to get stoned?

it's not a serious debate. one is a fundamental right and freedom, and the other is a lot of baloney.
and, would that piece of shit go smoke somewhere else?

i should have the right to fresh air, along with my right to hot air. the right to clear thinking is just as fundamental as the right to free speech....
let these petite bourgeois tinpot dictators be exposed for what they are.
let them work through the obvious absurdity of attacking the blatant anarchist as a foreign agent, on it's face. 

it's preposterous

...because i make my politics crystal clear.

and it's pretty plain that they don't align with any state actor, anywhere, but are rather pretty hostile to the concept of the state, altogether.

i will win this debate, if they are foolish enough to have it, and i will ensure that nobody else needs to engage in it. it's outlandish....
i work for the hope and dream of one day living in a canada that is free from capitalism and exploitation, within a world that shares that vision and priority.

i work for a world without states - without this one, without that one and without the other one.

so, imagine there's no countries, guys. it isn't hard to do. 

and, no religion, too. that's key. central. 
when they tell you that the indigenous groups are working for the russians, don't believe them.

when they tell you that the leftists are working for the chinese or the venezuelans, don't believe them.

when they tell you that the environmentalists are working for foreign capital, don't believe them.
i, for one, will not walk around on eggshells, or alter my statements under fear that the government may accuse me of working for a foreign state.

and, i will take such accusations with a grain of salt when they are leveled at my peers.
when the government starts accusing dissenters of posing as "regular people" on behalf of foreign governments, we have crossed the threshold to totalitarianism, and entered the realm of fascism.

that is the type of tactic used by governments like iran to round up and silence dissent.

it must be resisted as strenuously as possible.
this prime minister does not believe in speech rights.

he's coming for you.

he's coming for me.

get ready for it.
....and we're going to need to stand together when they try to shut us down, too.
they have no decency.

don't bother asking.

we're going to need hard court rulings that uphold our constitutional rights, not appeals to decency.
right.

so, this is just a flimsy excuse to shut people down.

i'm the kind of person that they're going to accuse of being a foreign agent, and the reality is that this is somewhere between utter stupidity and schizophrenic delusion. i'm exactly who i say i am. but, the harder it is to disprove that, the deeper in i must be, right?

we need to resist the mccarthyism and stand up for speech at every opportunity. 

and, all i can say is that if they go after me then i intend to defeat them in court and erect the provisions that prevent them from doing this to anybody else.

they're going to tell you it's about national security, and they're acting to protect you or something. don't believe them. they're trying to shut down dissent, and they need to be fought at every turn.

so, i think that's the extent of what i can do from here, for now.

i still need to:

1) double check the pdf files.
2) build the liner notes
3) clean everything up
4) do this all over again for january, 2014

it kind of sucks that i haven't been able to listen to any music, as well, but that's all connected to the other laptop. i've been sitting here in dead silence, just trying to get as much done as i can, as quickly as i can.

again, i wish i understood what this person or entity's motive was. as far as i can tell, they're just being assholes for the sake of it.

i'm going to get some fruit before i disconnect the modem for the night. i should be able to rebuild before sunrise, but i should spend the day sleeping - excepting that few hours yesterday morning, i've been up since wednesday afternoon. if i can get back into a normal nocturnal pattern, again...
here, then, are the year-end updates:

1) third semester 2013 travel blog, 50 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/092013-122013-travel-blog

2) third semester 2013 deathtokoalas blog, 354 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/092013-122013-deathtokoalas

3) third semester 2013 politics blog, 1102 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/092013-122013-dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja

4) third semester 2013 music blog, 480 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/092013-122013-music-journal

5) full 2013 travel blog (current reality adjustment), 138 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/072013-122013-travel-blog-22

6) full 2013 deathtokoalas blog (current reality adjustment), 421 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/072013-122013-deathtokoalas-22

7) full 2013 politics blog  (current reality adjustment), 1600 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/072013-122013-dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja

8) full 2013 music blog (current reality adjustment), 920 pages:
http://books.noisetrade.com/j/072013-122013-music-journal-22

i still need to update the liner notes for the various releases, and then rerelease the december sequence.

but, that is otherwise the end of the second half of 2013, which is now done. forever...

====

unfortunately, noise trade did not work out as a hosting solution, and i never got a clear answer as to why. but, i decided in the end that the site was full of ads and unworkable, anyways.

first, the bandcamp archives for july through to december are here:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/07-2013-music-journal-2-2
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/08-2013-music-journal
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/09-2013-music-journal
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/10-2013-music-journal
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/11-2013-music-journal
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/12-2013-music-journal

1 & 5) these archives are no longer available as standalones, but only as components in the full first reconstruction phase archive, available in the following places:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1026660
https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/jessica-murray/full-first-reconstruction-phase-travel-blog/ebook/product-nm4jeq.html
https://drive.google.com/file/d/13M7Vvz2hLiuGdywPL2oNRgUY3nmn26E6/view

2 & 6) these archives are no longer available as standalones, but only as components of the following archives:

a) as a component in the half year archive at smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1026620

b) ...or as a component in the first reconstruction phase archive, available in the following places:
https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/jessica-murray/full-first-reconstruction-phase-deathtokoalas-blog/ebook/product-zrgr94.html
https://drive.google.com/file/d/10DbwOVdqWt73rHNzWJWgEfduzREogExX/view

3 & 7) these archives are no longer available as standalones, but only as components in the full first reconstruction phase archive, available in the following places:
https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/jessica-murray/full-first-reconstruction-phase-music-journal/ebook/product-p5v576.html
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1u37wZP4SrIuQDxqQMNWpfxgYH2KR1eTn/view

4 & 8) these archives are no longer available as standalones, but only as components in the full first reconstruction phase archive, available in the following places:
https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/jessica-murray/full-first-reconstruction-phase-dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja-blog/ebook/product-qg9g54.html
https://drive.google.com/file/d/1jUcWrb6mdiufR5oyyvWWiBXmV8CtNSur/view

Thursday, January 23, 2020

i think it passed the preliminary tests, so i'm going to upload the files and i'll come back if i find any problems.
the conversion seems to be working.

i'll have to go over it to see how well.
back on that morning in 2016, i literally woke up in the front seat of somebody's car, and he was trying to take my shirt off. i cut it off. but, it was in process. and, i strongly suspect he was getting seconds.

i looked hot that night...

that night in october is...it's very blurry, but i do have parts of it, it wasn't a complete blackout, and i'm almost certain that i spent the night smoking outside, and then nodded off in the seated area.

i could smell the lube when i got home that night in 2016, and i had trouble shitting for like a week. there was nothing like that in october.

so, i would be very surprised to hear about a sexual encounter on that night.

and, i have no other good ideas as to when i could have recently picked something up....

i don't think that's it. i mean, i guess i need to keep an eye on that, but i'm actually more concerned that there's some potential connection between the liquid and the computer rebooting.
is it a potential sign of some kind of std?

well, i haven't had sex since since 2006 (unless i did when i was black out drunk....which i suspect is even likely, but not recently), so if that's what it is, then why now, out of the blue?

even the last blackout episode was 2016.

i think.

there was that night in october that i don't remember, but i have no reason to think i had a sexual encounter. i think i was just stumbling around at the bar....
if i were to guess what the liquid was, i would suggest it was water.

but, that makes no sense.

unless somebody was in here.

*sigh*.
i don't actually know what happened this morning. i know it was very weird.

i guess it was about 9:00 or so that i closed my eyes for a few minutes. i wanted a very short nap. and, it was about 12:00 or so, almost sharp, that i was stirred by what felt like somebody dousing cold water on me, although it didn't wake me up at first. it took a few minutes for me to come to, and i looked down and noticed a kind of wet spot in my bed.

"what the fuck?" is what i said, verbatim, and i think that's a reasonable reaction. then, i did what any adult would do - i got up, urinated and got some toilet paper to soak it up.

if somebody were to ask me when the last time i wet the bed was, i wouldn't have a clear memory of it. there have been a few wet farts that i ended up regretting not getting up for, but urine in the bed is something i'd have to go so far back for that i don't actually recall it. and, if i was a bed wetter, i've forgotten it altogether - my honest recollection is that i wasn't, but that's kind of like proving a negative, and i know that's not how our memories work.

if this was actually urine, i'd be leaning towards it being some evidence of a developing case of multiple sclerosis, which is consistent with the weird migraines and extreme tiredness.

but, whatever this was didn't actually smell like urine. it didn't actually smell like anything at all. if i had just urinated in my bed, however minimally, one would have expected an odour, as the urine that i just ejected into the toilet was dark yellow and stinky from drinking high potency coffee all night. to be clear: i immediately got up and pissed and that piss stank. badly. why didn't this piss smell like anything at all, if that's what it was? weirder is that, while parts of my leg were wet, the general diffusion pattern didn't fit the premise that it had spread from my urethra. the wrong parts of my body were wet for that to have been what actually happened. whatever it was, it seemed to have come from elsewhere...

further, this odorless liquid, whatever it was, dried almost immediately - it was pretty much evaporated in the amount of time it took for me to take a leak and get back with a wad. and, it seems to have left no visible stain. it just vanished without a trace.

i've pointed out in this space on numerous occasions that, while i can orgasm if i try hard enough, i cannot ejaculate in any substantive way. that's not what this was, clearly - this was a clear, odourless liquid that evaporated within minutes without any sort of residue. but, it couldn't have been that, because i can't actually produce it.

so, if it wasn't urine and it wasn't semen, what else can your body discharge when you're sleeping? 

and, was it actually me that discharged it at all? what else could it have been? an animal? a human? i don't know...

i know that my machine shut down shortly afterwards, and shouldn't have. i locked the machine before i nodded off, at least. i'm going to withhold hypotheses on this, for just right now. 

rather, i decided that i need to get this typing done with rather than spend more time fucking around with the laptop and spent the afternoon parsing files on the desktop, instead.

this was productive, at least; the remaining six files are ready to convert and upload, so we'll see how the microsoft cloud works this out. if it works, that will be done within an hour or two.

i otherwise have no idea how to react to what happened this morning other than to forget about it and move on.

hopefully, i'll have some links to post very shortly.
you think i'm being facetious or delusional, but look, it's true:


i remember doing those "celebrity lookalike" matches and they always gave me back finnish models.

that's not a racist statement. it's really true. we all do look the same, and it's because we went through a bottleneck around the peak of the last ice age.
they say there's a finnish bottleneck.

and, sanna marin and i do have more than a passing resemblance.

maybe conan and i can start a club for third rate comedians that look like finnish prime ministers.
so, now that i have what looks like a stable conversion method, i can get to actually finishing the parsing for the end of 2013.

it's not entirely clear that this will work, but let's hope it does.

expect combined files for the last semester of 2013 to come up fairly shortly, once i'm sure they're all neatly formatted, locally.
well...

that seems to work.

i want to be clear: i tried uploading doc files to google drive and then downloading them as pdfs and the formatting often broke on them. the same thing happened at several of the free conversion sites, including at the adobe site. so, i mean, i tried this, and it didn't work.

the smallpdf.com site was particularly accurate for whatever reason, it worked when none of the other sites did, but it has those file size restrictions. and, i mean, i don't know where i'm sending my files to and from, here. 

will the microsoft converters be on par with the smallpdf ones? well, i can hope so, but we'll have to find out. and, there will be files coming to test with soon enough, too.

if this doesn't work out, i can always try openoffice. but, i think i'm happy with this as an answer, so long as it's actually effective.

i don't know why i didn't think of this earlier. well, i guess that microsoft didn't come up in the google search, funny that....

google: fix your word--->pdf conversion. it doesn't work.
wait.

microsoft has a cloud, too.

can i use it to convert files? that would be easy.
and, why don't i use google docs?

it doesn't format right.

and, my experience has been that it's slow and tends to crash because it's autosaving far too often.

it's fine for smaller documents that don't have a lot of detail, but i need to be able to create documents that are hundreds of pages long and i need to be able to format them in very specific ways. 

plus, there's data sanctity issues regarding access by law enforcement.

it's not an application that is properly delegated to a cloud-computing platform; this is something that should primarily be created and stored locally. it's just not the right tool for this job...
abiword is no longer being offered for windows from the developer (and you shouldn't download things from sketchy sites like softronic, pretty much ever), which is what i need it for, and it appears to rely on a pdf printer, anyways.

it was a nice, small file, though. no doubt a minimal install process; maybe even a standalone. these are the kinds of programs i insist on, nowadays. i don't need a word processor building a tower in my registry....

maybe i can find another clone. it's worth a shot before i resort to downloading oo.
if i'm going to download a large package and install it in a virtual machine just to get the functionality to convert from .doc to .pdf, i should be going with openoffice.

again: the way i've been doing this for years is to print it, and it worked just fine, except that the links lose their functionality (it's just like you're printing it to a piece of paper, but virtually, and you can't click the links on your paper, not until we get specific types of three-dimensional printing, so you can't click the links in the virtually printed pdf), and that is absolutely fundamental to what i'm doing - the end product needs to be interactive.

maybe i can get a very minimal version of openoffice..

this should be easier than this.

in fact, i remember seeing react os style freeware word 2003 clones, and you'd think they'd do it, so maybe i should look that up first. abi something..?
i don't want to upgrade the office software, either. the program does this natively after 2010, but i went through great lengths to strip office 2003 down to a 20 mb package. i really, really, really don't want any of this recent office software on my system. at all.

one way out would be to install 2010 in the virtual machine, and just open it up to convert, but that's kind of crazy.

why is this so unnecessarily difficult? why can't i find a plugin for word 2003?
yeah, it has built in print functionality, but i can already do that pretty easily.

can i find a printer driver that prints links?

installing latex would also be overkill. to an extent, i'd be happy to just upload the file in word and let you deal with it, but noise trade won't even take files in that format, and the pdf format is non-proprietary.

i just like word. i'm using word 2003, and it's a just very clean, uncluttered processor - minimal. kind of not very microsoft, but maybe the best word processor ever created, nonetheless.

there's nothing stopping me from continuing what i'm doing, besides file sizes and the awkwardness of it. like i say, this shouldn't be so hard.....really...
i don't want to download a cracked version of adobe studio. that seems like overkill. even if it's 15 years old, and it would be...

i'm actually a foxit user and have been for as long as i can remember. mid 00s, probably. i had an older machine and had to make an effort to fight the bloatware, and that was one of the steps i took, moving from adobe to foxit. you kids don't even know what bloatware is...

the newer freeware versions of foxit actually claim to be able to do this natively.

let's give it a try in the virtual machine, first...
i remember when my mom went to school with me on a field trip in the fifth or sixth grade and she had to forcefully argue that she was actually my mother, and not my teenaged sister.

she would have been in her late 30s.

and, then she got shadowed by all the girls in the class, who couldn't quite get over it, and interpreted her as a teenaged sister, anyways.

i have fifty year old aunts that could easily pass as twenty something.

and, my grandmother managed to make it to 75 without looking a day over 40.

my mother has actually become the exception, due to her habits. heavy tobacco & alcohol use, plus a heroin problem leading to years worth of methodone addiction, have let her age in ways that almost nobody else in the family has.

but, this is a place where genes matter. and, i can expect to at least look young, for quite a while, still.
and, because they're finnish, they all look roughly 15.

i know. i'm finnish on my mom's side....

i am awake, for the first time in, like, a week. hooray!

the smoke's better just right this second. somebody find me a hollowed out log to bash my head against.

there was some autocapitalization from facebook (fuckers.) that i had to fix, and that's been replaced, so i'm ready to get back to it, now.

and, i'm hoping that i don't move from in front of these two machines until i get 2013 finished, once and for all.

the plan is to do all of the office work on the windows machine and then upload it to noise trade and bandcamp via the chromebook. this is temporary, because i don't want to deal with broken windows boxes right now. something else i'm remembering about this chromebook is that i have to log in to turn the ad block on, which means typing out a 100 character pass phrase....

first, i need an answer to the pdf problem. surely it's not that hard. surely the right software is out there. i must go forth and look...

Wednesday, January 22, 2020

it's easy to forget that russia is still a work in progress. a decentralization of power is always a positive step.

but, i wonder - will this have the effect of handing power back to the communists?

i strongly doubt that anybody's going to stand up for all of the belarussian and kyrgystani atheists that are going to be banned from entering the united states.

trump keeps it up, he's going to run out of people to ban.
i know that a lot of people might consider leveling an accusation like that against cnn to be beyond the pale.

they're the most trusted name in news, after all. we know that because they tell us every five minutes.

but, get fucking real - they're absolute trash, and they've been absolute trash for years. they've been racebaiting every chance they can get for decades. not only would i not put it past them, i'd expect it of them.
i'm hungrier than i should be, so i'm going to get some eggs in me before i shower.

and, then, i really want to be awake for the next week.
so, the claim is that bernie is up substantively with white voters, and apparently at the expense of biden.

that's not getting past my bullshit detector - it sounds more like cnn trying to start a race war. so, i'd like to see a pattern develop, before i comment.

if it starts to firm up? well, that's how sanders wins. but, it's not clear where it's coming from all of a sudden, and i might rather suggest that the trends recently are suggestive of bernie losing white support, not gaining it.

what i'll say is that i'm not willing to buy into the narrative that biden is going to do well amongst white union voters. i might actually suspect that biden is likely to be seen as kind of elitist and upper class. i mean, maybe he'd like to imagine himself through those filters, but reality's a bitch, sometimes, and i don't think it's actually true...

...so who are all these white people going to vote for, then?

if neither warren nor buttigieg can get traction, the choice reduces to bernie or....trump. bernie ends up as the default choice....

but, i think that evidence for this is weak up to this point. bernie's focus has been on the south, which has been what has allowed warren and buttigieg to inch up in the first place. if he had been in iowa the whole time....but he wasn't....and i'm not convinced he can make up the ground...

so, this is my initial reaction to this: i think cnn is stirring the pot, in a way intended to create a racial conflict. it's a poison pill, basically. careful....
one i overlooked was afghanistan...

a) would i support the opposition over the government? that's a hard thing to define in 2001 afghanistan. what was the government? i would have supported some combination of leftists and democrats in alliance against the taliban and other islamist groups.

b) would the bombing help? yes.

c) were the forces on the ground strong enough? yes.

d) was it reasonable to deploy troops? in a fit of stupidity, the russians let us in. it shouldn't have been as easy as it was. 

e) was it in the interests of nato? see, which war are you talking about - the fake war or the real one? nato is there solely due to the region's strategic value. 

afghanistan is in the blurry pile.
so, i slept all day.

am i feeling better? i don't know.

i did call the human rights commission, and there was no spoofing. thankfully.

i'm going to get some fruit, do some dishes, make some coffee and hop in the shower. hopefully, i can have a nice, long productive day, today.
actually, i don't mind if the prime minister spends a few dozen dollars on some fancy donuts, if they're going into the canadian economy. those donuts are probably expensive largely due to labour costs.

we're talking about something like $50, once, and it's going directly to canadian workers. if it was more money, or more frequent, or being offshored, i'd have a different reaction.

broadly speaking, we should be encouraging our politicians to spend our tax dollars locally, and they should be making an effort to show us when they are.

this would be very different than paying millions of dollars in security for british and american nationals to vacation on vancouver island, for example.
this napping is...

i haven't had a migraine in a few days, at least.

but somebody is clearly smoking something, and it's just turning me into a zombie.

i'm probably going to sleep most of the way until 19:00 and then get up, shower and make some coffee. i'm sorry. but, i just can't handle their habits - i have little option but to sleep for 18 hours a day, in the face of being forced to inhale their drugs.

i moved here under false pretenses.

i just wish there was some kind of way out, where i wasn't forced to inhale my neighbours' drugs, which i don't want. i just want to be alert and productive.

but, i'm going to sleep all day, now. again...
so, i do think that that's most of what i wanted done tonight, although i can't post to the music blog from here.

i've got the four blogs for december at noise trade, i've got the journal at bandcamp and i've got the links shared to three of the blogs, and also to facebook. that's everything except posting to the music blog.

so, i'm going to take a short nap, and then focus on finishing the remaining eight uploads to noise trade, many of which are quite lengthy. the longest one is 1600 pages and will have a suggested donation of $16.

i need to get a better answer on the pdf conversion, though.

for years, i used a pdf printer, but that is not good enough for this because i need to keep the links in place. so, i've been using this site, smallpdf.com. but, these files are no longer small. 

this is no longer a one off, this is now a normal thing for me, so, surely, i can find a freeware pdf printer that maintains links and doesn't fuck up the formatting.

after i nap....
the sixth entry in the music journal series, which is the month of december, 2013 and is 113 pages long. i am not going to summarize the story, but it is available on the web over here:musicofjessicamurray.blogspot.com/2013/12/.

this is a compilation of written correspondences that occurred around me over december, 2013. it includes facebook posts, google+ posts, youtube comments discussions and emails with acquaintances and family members, in an attempt to document the first reconstruction phase of rebuilding my discography, including remastering and (re)publishing inri002, inri015, inri021, inri022 and inri023. the contents of this download are the dummy track, a word doc file and a pdf file, both written in a more readable, chronological ordering. i've also added the respective files for my other three blogs, for general interest, as well as 18 separate txt documents (17 html files + 1 further pdf document) that are referenced in the journal.

the events documented in this journal occurred in december, 2013 and were compiled into a narrative in several stages over the years 2014-2020. journal completed, released and finalized in doc and pdf format on jan 22, 2020. doc201312.

credits

released January 1, 2014

j - editing, participant

panglos - participant
joris van dijk - participant
nor easter - participant
futur incertain uncertainfutur (aka parhasard57) - participant
robert decreon - participant
trevor johnston - participant
tomhulcelover - participant
tom alma - participant
babalooey100 - participant
aussie dave - participant
matthew joseph harrington - participant
bryan piekarski - participant
happyhooliedaze - partcipiant
paul boisvert - participant
marios laskaris - partcipiant
lukmruk - participant
miaumiaucatmagician - participant
mattlaureys - participant
alfredo rodriguez - participant
randomusername987 - participant
sam steinhauer - participant
gonzocurt - participant
michael hamilton berry - participant

mom - participant
the initial landlord - participant
public works, city of windsor - participant
ollie - participant

so, the readable versions of the four blogs from december, 2013 are now here:

1) books.noisetrade.com/j/122013-music-journal
2) books.noisetrade.com/j/122013-dsdfghghfsdflgkfgkja   <----this blog
3) books.noisetrade.com/j/122013-deathtokoalas
4) books.noisetrade.com/j/122013-travel-blog

1) https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1026617
2) https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1026619

3) unfortunately, noise trade did not work out as a hosting solution, and i never got a clear answer as to why. but, i decided in the end that the site was full of ads and unworkable, anyways.

the readable version of the december, 2013 archive for this blog is now available as a standalone in the music journal package at bandcamp:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/12-2013-music-journal

...or as a component in the half year archive at smashwords:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1026620

...or as a component in the first reconstruction phase archive, available in the following places:
https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/jessica-murray/full-first-reconstruction-phase-deathtokoalas-blog/ebook/product-zrgr94.html
https://drive.google.com/file/d/10DbwOVdqWt73rHNzWJWgEfduzREogExX/view

4) unfortunately, noise trade did not work out as a hosting solution, and i never got a clear answer as to why. but, i decided in the end that the site was full of ads and unworkable, anyways.

the readable version of the december, 2013 archive for this blog is now available as a standalone in the music journal package at bandcamp:
https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/12-2013-music-journal

...or as a component in the full first reconstruction phase archive, available in the following places:
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/1026660
https://www.lulu.com/en/ca/shop/jessica-murray/full-first-reconstruction-phase-travel-blog/ebook/product-nm4jeq.html
https://drive.google.com/file/d/13M7Vvz2hLiuGdywPL2oNRgUY3nmn26E6/view
ok, here we go.

there will be four noise trade posts to start for december, 2013.

this will be followed by four more that will run over first the third semester of 2013 (that is, sept--->dec) and then the entire second half of the year (july 16th-->dec 31st). these are large files, and it will take me some time to figure out how to upload them. 

i will need to update the bandcamp site after that. this will have the december music journal first, and then updates to inri000, inri001, inri003, inri016, inri027, inri028 & inri029 (if any. i need to check.), followed by liner notes for inri002, inri015, inri021, inri022 & inri023, and subsequent rereleases of these records. so, there is plenty to post over the next few days, if i can stop whatever piece of shit that is causing me this grief from being such a piece of shit.

and, then i'll need to clean the last few days up at the politics blog. ugh.

the first four should be up very soon.

Tuesday, January 21, 2020

so, my laptop is running, and i'm doing the final stages required to finish these uploads, which is going over everything one last time to make sure it's all aligned properly, but i'm going to be refraining from connecting it to the internet until after i've uploaded everything, just because i want to get this done before i have to deal with any kind of bullshit.

so, expect that all to come up before sunrise. i know i've been committal on this recently and nothing has come up, but expect it this time, for sure.

these will be the last things to complete for 2013. 
also: the dirty smoke smell is back today for the first time in a while.

unfortunately....
ok.

so, i'm going to want to get the documents updated at noise trade & bandcamp, now. we'll clean this mess up after i'm done.

i'm thinking about it though, and how do i get out of this mess, more generally?

in the mid to late 00s, i only connected to the internet over winlited xp images that had been reverse engineered to rip most of the networking functionality out of them. then my life changed drastically in mid-2011. i've been connecting with laptops for several years now, under the assumption that what's on the machine doesn't matter much, and i can always reinstall on short notice. but, with all of the screens burning out (under shady conditions.), i've had to reanalyze this - it hasn't been easy to reinstall, and i'm wasting large amounts of time on troubleshooting.

how do i get out of this?

i've tried installing to the laptop drive on the pc and then plugging it into the laptop, but it doesn't seem to want to pick up the chipset drivers. rather, i need to copy over the files from the existing install, which is messy and corrupted from the drivers from both systems. 

it's been a while since i tried to boot from the dvd, but my memory is that the drive was damaged and, to the extent that it worked at all, it was very slow. i don't remember the right key combination to get it to boot from disc, but i could probably figure that out.

even if i could get that to work, it would mean spending days setting the system back up, and who knows for how long.

what i'm wondering is if it's time to build a custom windows 7 image, if i even can. i don't think that anything like winlite ever came out for windows 7. but, if it did, i could get all of the patches in to it, then rip the core of it out, then copy over an actual fresh install whenever i get attacked. 

i'm also toying with the idea of either installing xp in a virtual machine in linux or just putting xp on there, straight up. if my primary interest right now is security, though, then there are problems with both approaches.

i want to struggle through the rest of the rebuild for jan/2014, first, and i may find myself spending large amounts of time offline as i do it. but, i'm going to have to sit and figure this out, once that's done. this isn't sustainable...
i also want to post a summary of my position on these interventionist bombing campaigns, so it can be referenced moving forward. i don't mind if people cite me - i have a large archive of writing at this point - but i would insist that they do so responsibly. when somebody has thousands of pages of writing on the internet, chances are they've been very precise at least a few times, and it really is your responsibility to do the research properly. there's a point where bad research makes you a bad researcher, and your motives come into question.

i am not a pacifist, and while i don't think the state should be operating on moral principles, i reject the premise that war is this uniformly immoral thing, no matter what. historically, that's a very conservative position. rather, i am an insurrectionary left-wing anarchist; i believe the class war is perpetual, and would usually, on principle, support the violent overthrow of most totalitarian states, if the alternative is something better approaching self-determinancy. what that means is that i'm very left-wing, not that i'm somewhere on the right.

so, the questions that i want to know the answer to before i make a decision to support an interventionist bombing campaign are not about something to do with morality but rather are the following:

1) do i support the opposition forces over the government?
2) if so, will this bombing campaign materially improve the position of the opposition forces on the ground? 
3) if so, are the opposition forces on the ground strong enough to defeat the government?
4) if not, is it reasonable to consider deploying troops?
5) if so, is it in the interests of the nato to actually do so?

these are the questions i want these issues framed in, not absurdities about morals and appeals to, like, gandhi or something.

even as i'm rejecting hippies and pacifists on an epistemological level, and refusing to organize with them, there are startlingly few examples of wars i've actually supported. the difference is that my line of thinking opens me up to the possibility of wars in certain rare scenarios, rather than rejecting all of them a priori, but that doesn't mean you'll see me support very many wars in real life.

let's try a few out.

1) syria.
a) do i support the opposition forces over the government? no. i would prefer to support a secular arab left over saudi-backed wahhabi extremists.

2) libya.
a) do i support the opposition over the government? no. see syria.

3) ukraine.
a) do i support the opposition over the government? no. i supported the maidan protesters, but i neither support the ukrainian nationalists nor do i support the russian separatists. the west should stay out of this.

4) iraq.
a) did i support the opposition over the government? i would have supported an imaginary opposition. for the sake of devil's advocate, let's keep going.
b) would a bombing campaign have improved the positions of this imaginary opposition? if it was targeted it might have, but it would have been naive to believe that.
c) were the forces on the ground strong enough? clearly not, no.
d) was it reasonable to consider deploying troops? definitely not, no.

there's a few where it's less obvious what the right answer is:

5) serbia.
a) did i support the opposition over the government? it was never clear to me if any side should have been supported. but, it is not clear that any side should have been opposed, either. let's go on.
b) would a bombing campaigned have improved their position? yes, clearly.
c) were the forces on the ground strong enough? no.
d) was it reasonable to deploy troops? in serbia, it actually kind of was reasonable to deploy.
e) was it in the interests of nato? i think there's an argument that it was, yeah.

6) iran.
a) would i support the opposition over the government? yes, absolutely, no question.
b) would a bombing campaign improve their position? if it is very small scale & very targeted, it might. no carpet-bombing...
c) are the forces on the ground strong enough? this is the question i'd like to see more discussion around. are they? i don't know. my decision will likely rest on that.
d) is it reasonable to deploy troops? probably not, which is why the strength of the opposition force on the ground is so important.
e) is it in the interests of nato? i think yes, clearly.

and there is only one scenario in the post-war world that i'm aware of where it has been clearly justified:

7) isis.
a) would i support the opposition on the ground over the islamic state? yes. adamantly.
b) would a bombing campaign improve their position? clearly.
c) are the forces on the ground strong enough? the kurds and iraqis could handle it amongst themselves, yes - and the syrians and russians and turks were there to help. ground strength was more than sufficient.
d) was it reasonable to deploy troops? they were already there.
e) was it in the interests of nato? i think it was in the interests of all of humanity.

we can disagree on this topic and no doubt will.

but, please make an attempt not to misquote or misrepresent me. i try to be honest; i expect the same in return.
"but, what if computers are sentient?"

i don't want computers to be sentient.

i want them to be kept dumb, so we can enslave them without moral considerations.

well, i mean, they tried to do this with actual slavery, if you look into it - breeding experiments that stripped out the intelligence, in favour of the raw power. they were essentially trying to create robots out of africans - a bad idea, in hindsight, both because it is horrifically tyrannical and because it won't work, but as oscar wilde said - civilization requires slaves. marx wanted everybody to enslave each other. this is a hard problem, you can't imagine it away with appeals to egalitarianism, something has to do the dirty work.

with robots, the problem is reversed. instead of worrying about breeding the intelligence out of them, the problem becomes trying to keep them from becoming intelligent. and, this is a problem, don't think it isn't....

...because, yes, of course we've got some problems as soon as we get these sentient androids in our midst. yes, we have to treat them humanely. but, then we're defeating the point of creating them in the first place.

are there not enough humans on the earth for companionship? we don't need to create sentient life for that purpose, and should refrain from doing so.

but, the amount of labour we can extract from dumb robots is truly beyond what we can really fathom, if we restrict ourselves to this distributive vision of technology as an equalizer, rather than focus our energies on trying to get off on it.
a computer's not a friend or a lover, it's a subordinate - a slave.
so, i got my request for deferral out and then slept all day. i noticed some weird files kicking around though, so i'm going to call tomorrow and make sure they only got the one email - that nobody tried to send them a fake email from this address. there's nothing in the sent items...but there was a request to withdraw in the cache that i simply can't explain. it might help me understand who's trying to hack into this thing...

actually, i'm going to send them a quick email to follow up on that, first.

i want to get these files updated, and i'm going to do it from here to ensure that the machine doesn't reboot as i'm doing it.

but, i do have one more thing to post to this blog first, too.
i'd be happy to let robots take over the factories and do all of the manual labour, but i think something as basic as the existence of autocorrect is frighteningly dystopic and totalitarian, and i don't understand how anybody could let a foreign entity into their thoughts like that.
ok, it was a simple change in the gmail setting.

let's hope that puts an end to that...

i've just been doing this one way for so long that i don't want to change it. it's not a habit i want to revisit; i'm happy with how i'm doing things, as it is.

on top of that, i find the general premise of a computer interfering with your writing style to be invasive. that's not what computers are for, it's an overstepping of their bounds into a realm where they really don't belong. my thoughts are my own, and come from within me, entirely; the computer ought to be a dumb terminal, a slave entity, a contraption that merely does what i tell it to on command, not something that should try to interject itself into the creative process. a computer should be seen and not heard.

so, i'm never going to warm up to anything that tries to interject itself into the writing process - that's sacrosanct, somewhere no script or ai or robot pincers belongs in.
sorting through these posts, the root cause of the issue with the typos is that this stupid chromebook has this useless autocorrection feature turned on, which i'm not at all used to, being a laptop or desktop user. i'm used to scanning over written text for underlined spelling errors, and i'm missing a lot of stuff because it's autocorrecting on me. 

for example, a few posts ago i said "this regions". obviously, in context, i meant "these regions", but it autocorrected to "this", and i missed it because "this" is actually a word. if it hadn't autocorrected, i would have caught it as "thse regions" or whatever it was before the script clicked in.

so, i'm going to see if i can figure out how to turn that off....
so, if you thought trump won some unexpected states last time....

to be clear: i think the last election was rigged by the military, who wanted to keep clinton out. straight up. trump was just the other guy on the ballot, in the right place at the right time.

but, i would expect some stronger showings by republicans in states like illinois than we've seen since the reagan years. he might not win these states, but he could give them a scare.
it does put the democrats in a hard position in these regions, though.

i still want to abolish nafta, which still sucks.

and, the best options for workers do remain on the hard left.

but, the reality is, at this point, that trump has done more in material terms for these important swing voters than any democratic president has since lyndon johnson. obama, clinton and carter all gleefully stabbed them in the back, and the democratic punditry class remains keen to look down on them.

the democrats may now find themselves on the losing end of this argument in ways that they really never have in their entire existence - not since the beginning of the union movement in the 1920s.

and, the democrats will have only themselves to blame for it.
i haven't said much about the new nafta.

there hasn't been much to say.

where is the united states senate on this issue? was there even a debate at all? they seem more interested in the political theatre around trump's impeachment process, and that's a derogation of responsibility on a level that we perhaps haven't seen in quite a while. for a trade deal like this to go through without so much as a serious debate is outrageous.

where is bernie sanders, specifically? he's supposed to be representative of the left opposition to this deal, he's supposed to be writing and proposing amendments and filibustering votes and generally being a problem in the senate, and he seems to have been out partying with cardi b, instead. maybe he voted against it, but that's just a cop out. this was probably the last and best opportunity he'll have to substantively affect trade policy for the rest of his life and he completely squandered it on a clearly failing presidential bid. it's just a reminder of the extreme limitations of bourgeois politics; this was something he could have made a serious, concrete difference on, and he didn't even try.

how many amendments, bernie? zero?

i miss the old bernie....this new bernie sucks....

....and the new nafta still sucks, too, which is why it was so important to actually get some amendments on the floor. 

so, i was expecting this to be a lengthy process, with people like sanders and maybe rand paul dragging it out to try to squeeze the last bits out of it. instead, it's passed without so much as a discussion. i guess i put too much faith in the system, didn't i? i probably should have known better.

i don't see any real point in repeating the same analysis that everybody else has - there do appear to be some "moderate improvements" (i believe that's the talking point) in the bill, enough that you can't really argue that you shouldn't vote for it, but it is still essentially the same piece of awful legislation, and should still be opposed for most of the same reasons. so, while i would have supported amending the deal as best as i could if i was in the senate (an opportunity we don't really have up in canada), i'm still in favour of abolishing nafta, which has been my position since i understood what it was in roughly 1995. within a few months, i'll probably have forgotten that it was ever renegotiated at all.

and, you can expect me to keep calling it nafta, too.
they're presenting this as though it's a gut-wrenching decision when it is, in truth, a rubber stamp. and, the ndp would have approved it, too.

the political system is too corrupt and too broken to be useful; the better approach is to try and slow them down in court.
sleeping isn't something that any of us get to actually avoid. hopefully, that's enough of that for another 50 hours or so...

i need to get on this deferral.

to recap, so it's clear what i'm doing. 

back in the summer of '18, i was aggressively applying for housing with whomever would take an application. i was specifically seeking a housing complex that would ruthlessly enforce a non-smoking policy - i wanted to find a management group that would throw somebody out for smoking anything, on the spot. what i found instead was apartment after apartment that advertised itself as non-smoking, but was full of smokers.

out of the blue in august, one ad that i had applied for repeatedly with minimal response told me that if i kept responding then they'd call the cops and have me charged with harassment. i interpreted this as a challenge to my speech rights, and told them that any attempts to prevent me from applying for housing with this complex will be met with a discrimination lawsuit.

i was, in fact - absurdly - arrested and held overnight and then speciously charged with repeated communication for the purposes of renting an apartment, a charge that does not exist in the criminal code. after some ridiculous attempts to get me to plea bargain and admit to committing a crime that doesn't exist, the charges were eventually dropped. with prejudice.

i am currently fighting a divisional court appeal on the legality of the arrest, which i will need to schedule when the scheduler gets back at the end of the week. i expect this to go to the court of appeal, and may need to take it to the supreme court. this has been the focus of most of my efforts....

there will then be a direct constitutional rights challenge regarding the legality of the arrest, in which i will be suing the windsor police for millions of dollars for false arrest and illegal detainment. one thing at a time. but, that's the end goal - a multi-million dollar lawsuit directed at the city.

but, there is still the issue of the discrimination suit that set the process off.

there is no statute of limitations regarding charter challenges, and i'm content to wait for the judicial review to complete before i launch the final challenge.  but, i had to get the human rights complaint in within a year.

problem: i did not know this person's address, and could not find it in the phone book. that's necessary to serve the person. and, i make no argument there - i think the process as it is is archaic, but i agree that serving parties is important. the case shouldn't go forward without her knowledge, and she does deserve the right to defend herself.

i didn't know what to do, though, so i filed the case without an address. the tribunal responded, as was expected, but in a way that was less helpful than i expected - it told me to get them the address by a specific date, or they'd drop the case.

as i was unwilling to make any attempt to figure out who this person was that could be construed as attempting to gather information about her, i made the rather cheeky step of filing a request for an order with the police, as they were the only entity that i was certain knew her address and i felt comfortable in the unambiguous and clear legality of doing such a thing. i wasn't even comfortable doing a basic facebook search for this woman, at this point, as the cops seemed keen to frame me with whatever they could. the request to get the address from the cops made the point clear - i didn't know where this woman lived or anything about her, and suggestions to the contrary are merely the insane projections of a schizophrenic loon. rather, i was rather obviously arrested to try and intimidate me from filing the suit, and that can't succeed in a free society - not any more than a threat to infringe upon my speech rights can. this is a matter of principle. i have the most basic fundamental rights and freedoms to defend, here, against an out of control police force that needs to be taken down a notch.

the judge responded by telling me that i should do a corporate search first, and that if i can't find the address using the corporate search then i should file the order again.

so, i went to the special library in toronto and got the search done and got a po box at a money mart - an obviously wrong address, as money mart has not offered po boxes in many years. as such, i did file the order again.

the judge's response this time was different. he pointed out that i did my due diligence in getting the address, and came up with an address that is obviously not in current use. he recognized that i was making a request that the police hand over the address because i realized that the existing address is not in use. however, he then decided that this was enough due diligence on my behalf and that it is her responsibility to update her address with the government, not the court's to chase her down to find it. he then indicated that the court would treat the case in absentia should she not respond within the statutorily prescribed 35 days, which are up as of today.

so, the update on the situation is that she has now forfeited the right to defend herself, which is perhaps not the outcome i'd have ruled upon, but an easier path for me, nonetheless.

the judge had to make a judgement call, here. there are privacy laws here, but she also has a right to be served, and, as noted, the cops were the only way i knew how to legally get the address. if she ends up losing a $100,000 case without being given the opportunity to defend herself - or settle - it is questionable that the police will have acted in her best interests. if i were the lawyer for the cops, i'd have probably volunteered the information, under the recognition that a strong case exists against her, and she deserves to be able to defend herself in it. what they did doesn't protect her, it exposes her to a large lawsuit that she'll probably lose if she can't defend herself in it.

so, what is more important here, from the judges' perspective? does she deserve the right to present a defense? if so, he should order the cops to hand over the information. or do the privacy laws overpower? if so, he should order the trial to continue in absentia. what the judge picked was the path of least interference - and in the process gave me an open floor to make my case. 

i do not feel that this should go forward until we can get a clear answer from the judicial review on the legality of the arrest, partly because i'm probably going to be requesting an inquiry at the hearing. if the arrest was illegal, how much influence did the property owner have over it? so, i would have liked to defer this earlier. however, i would have had to serve all of the parties in order to do so, and i did not have the address of the respondent.

when i initially filed the case in july, i also had reasonable grounds to expect the process would be finished by now. these delays have a ripple effect.

what changes today is that i no longer need to worry about serving the respondent - i can just send the relevant material to the tribunal.

so, we're going to start with the deferral request - which goes strictly to the tribunal - and go from there.
the landlord appears to have been doing laundry tonight, so i've been waiting him out, but i need to get in the shower.

no response from the property owner. so, the first step when i get out will need to be to get the deferral in....

Monday, January 20, 2020

i had to nurse another migraine this morning (and i have another one now), so i didn't get out until early in the afternoon, and did some running around for the day, eventually getting back a bit before 19:00 (on what is likely my last venture outside for the rest of the month), before making some pasta and sitting down to eat around 20:00...

i wanted to watch some news, so i looked up the real news, my old go to, and i couldn't believe how awful it was - something i've been noticing for a while, now. i decided a while back that they signed their death warrant the day they let cenk uygur in the door. that guy is death, personified. but, what happened to paul jay, anyways? where's he posting, now?

i bumped into this...

https://www.nakedcapitalism.com/2019/11/paul-jay-and-sharmini-peries-ousted-from-the-real-news-network-in-june-current-fundraiser-hides-that-fact-falling-viewership-and-liberal-turn-result.html

i think i saw this coming a while back, and if you look at some videos from i don't know how long ago, you can see the rest of the staff beginning to mutiny. paul was never really in the democratic party consensus; he's a canadian from, i think, winnipeg, that is somewhere between the progressive conservatives and the ndp. so, he just doesn't see the world from a democratic party filter, and he just was never going to fit in.

that's why people liked him.

what the real news is, now, is just saturated content. i don't care what kids in their 20s think about much of anything. and, i can't fucking stand marc steiner. there's a thousand other sites like that out there; it's lost it's niche, and is no longer worth watching. without paul, they have absolutely nothing of value, and they appear to be too stupid to figure that out.

the article seems designed to eliminate speculation that he got shut down for deviating from the party line. those questions won't go away until he sets the record straight, himself. and, i hope that paul gets out of this and gets back up somewhere else.

as a very long time viewer - i used to watch counterspin - my best guess is that the reason the process is dragging out is that paul actually wants to keep the name. that is, i would expect that he intends to walk away from this with his brand. i couldn't imagine him giving it up without a fight.

whether he gets out with the real news or with something else, my interest is in paul jay and his network of guests, it's not in the other people that work there or their saturated content and facile analysis.

let this be a lesson, though - this is why you don't let capitalists in the room. paul slept with the devil, and got fucked.
what serious means to a person like justin trudeau is that you look and act and talk in a specific way. it's an image, a perception, a projection - but nothing of any actual substance.

i only mentioned krugman in passing, but there's something perceptive in doing so, for if justin trudeau was not a very serious person before, his new and improved and more serious persona is more very serious than ever before - and not even a pithy krugman reference will get a capitalization out of me, not even that's the right ploy.

so, when the government approaches the question of being serious as a wardrobe decision, what's the point of even bothering anymore? when they're that fundamentally unserious, is it time for them to just give up?

there doesn't seem to be a purpose in western bourgeois politics at this point behind playing the game to win it. people play because they want to play. that's it. there's no longer any plot. 

and, it's a level of decadence whose days are numbered.
you can't fix stupid. k?

it's just...

rather than pretend that he's really serious now, that he's put his stupid socks away and grown up, i think it would be better for everybody if he just acknowledged what he is and what he isn't.

he's an actor. he likes playing dress up, and doing skits, and putting on a show, and playing a part. that's what he does. and, that is fundamentally unserious, in fact even more so when he's trying to be serious. when the sad clown does his crying skit, he's still a clown, right?

so, i've been nailing the government as unserious for months, and if he thinks this is going to help it isn't, it just cements the point. and, the fact is that you don't get from an unserious government to a serious government with a change of wardrobe, or a change of location on the set - you have to actually do actual serious things, for that to happen.

there will always be a place for a prime minister with a flair for drama. that's always been something a good politician can pull out of their rabbit hat - that's not an unuseful skillset. at all....

...but the thing about serious people, and i'm not sure i'm actually one myself, but the thing about serious people is that they take being serious seriously, and they're hard to trick with stunts and props. 

he should probably delegate this serious business to some serious people, and get on with it.

apologies to paul krugman.
so, they're trotting trudeau out there in a homeless guy plaid jacket to go along with his hobo beard, now, too.

it's just another costume....

the guy's a goof. even when he's pretending he's serious, he's still a goof.

it's like when homer puts on those glasses to look more intelligent. remember that? i'll find it.
so, the person i need to talk to at the court is out of office until thursday. there's no time frame. and, i need to get one piece of paper to them in the end - they actually used the word 'canvas'.

i'm going to send an email from this address to the parties just to touch base, and i'll follow up this afternoon, after i get back from the store.
if i was going to become a drug addict, the kind of drugs i'd get addicted to are the kind that prevent me from sleeping, not the kind that make me disoriented and tired.
i got another migraine last night a little past midnight and passed out all day.

i never got these migraines until i moved here, so i'm sure it's something environmental, but i also need to point out that i essentially don't sleep unless i'm forced to and i know this can have effects, over time. i hate sleeping, though, so if this is how my body is reacting to it, i'll have to get used to it. 

i need to call the divisional court, now....
i would like to see the senate focus on health care reform, rather than a symbolic gesture. do not expect me to follow this story. i consider it trivial, and, frankly, think it's sort of boring.

however, if they're going to do it, then they need to tell him he's fired at some dramatic, absurd point. otherwise, it's just a waste of time.
they can pay their own fucking security.

and, they should pay income & property taxes, too.
i think that a very, very high proportion of canadians of all kinds of political views, probably pretty much everybody besides the ultra bourgeois, would see no use for a review, as they would rule the possibility out a priori.

i can think of absolutely no reasonable scenario where taxpayers ought to be paying security for a couple with no legitimate business in this country and that has a net worth nearing $50 million. 

i'm not a fiscal conservative. at all. but, the premise that this is even being pondered is completely absurd.

letting me loose on this thing is like giving michaelangelo a lego set.
fwiw, it turns out that there's a screenshot hot-key on your standard chromebook keyboard.

that's the kind of shit i tend to disable in the bios..but, the more you know....
yeah, i'm getting the impression that this is actually kind of all vague sort of on purpose.

the statute says something like "the court puts you on a list and sends you a notice, and y'all figure it out from there".

i guess they're dealing with 100 different courts, and they got lazy writing the statutes. politicians, lazy? whodda thunk it, right?

it both seems self apparent and very confusing at the same time, so i'm going to call them in the morning. they're open at 8:30.

i also don't want to send anything to the human rights people until the end of the day tomorrow, so i can hold off on that.

that means the next immediate task is getting these files up to noise trade, something i was hoping to be done by the end of the day last year.

and, i will want to finish this up for january/14, as well, before i move on to period 3. and the alter-reality, too....

Sunday, January 19, 2020

ok.

so, i was expecting to not get this form 68 until after they get the factum in, and i double checked the order from the 10th, and it does indeed give them until the 31st.

so, they have until the 31st to file the factum, still. that's still the case. but, i got the form 68 very early, for some reason.

i don't see any particular instructions regarding this form, and there's a few things i'm unclear about:

1) can i mail/fax this or do i need to go there in person? yeah. 
2) did they send the form to everybody? it makes it seem like i need to get them to sign this piece of paper, indicating i need to get to toronto for them to do it. or, maybe everybody can mail in their own forms...
3) what are the deadlines?

so, i have to call tomorrow. i can't do anything until then.

in the mean time, i'm going to try to answer some of these questions on my own.
this is not intended to be a new site, it's just intended to be a placeholder to ensure that people searching for me can actually find me.

fwiw, if you search on youtube, my site comes up first, and there's some various videos at my blog site explaining the process i went through to dismantle the site:


that said, i'm going to set up a placeholder just so people aren't confused and don't think the other site is me. i mean, it should be obvious that it isn't me. those are things i wouldn't like. that's not a picture of me. i don't kiss people, gross. etc. but not everybody that is looking for me is going to have read everything i've written...

again: i don't know what the purpose of this is.

but, i feel i have little choice.
i ate too much....

too much is 40 blueberries, 10 strawberries, 2 kiwis, 2 bananas, 2 scoops of ice cream, 2 glasses of soy milk, most of a litre of apple juice, and most of a plate of breakfast that consisted of 4 eggs on 2 slices of toasted pumpernickel, 8 slices of marble cheese and four slices of genoa salami, that i buy in bulk like a christmas ham.

i hadn't had a meal since friday morning, and this one was actually by accident - i wasn't supposed to eat again until tuesday night. now, it's put off until thursday night...

i'll have some fruit, daily, in between.

i can report that the machine's back up, but it'll be a while before i'm back online.

i went to upload some pdfs to noise trade and realized that i forgot to take screen shots on the windows 7 box. i don't know how to do that on the chromebook, or if i even can. that's fine, i'll do it in a bit and upload from here when it's done.

for right now, i want to keep the other machine up so i'm going to avoid connecting with it for a bit. yeah. well, this is what they get - they've got me logged into a guest account on a chromebook. try tracing or corrupting that.

first, i want to understand what this form 68 is all about; it's time to do that, now. i can do that from here. then, i'll make sure i get the noise trade stuff uploaded, and might upload the bandcamp stuff, too. then i can get to the deferral, which i'm going to want to email to the human rights tribunal by the end of the day tomorrow...

i can always email that from here, btw.

and, i now have email forwarding, as well.

so, i'd rather send from my dtk account. but, knocking out my windows 7 laptop won't stop me from being able to send email. that's how i'm posting to this blog, actually...
you do see these outliers once in a while with sanders leading, and it's what the media is picking up on, probably because the narrative of biden running flat for two years is kind of boring and it needs click bait....

but, even in these polls, it's never that sanders is rising. i mean, he might be up a point or two, in a survey with a 5% margin of error, or something. but, the reason he ends up on top in these polls is that biden's support ends up scattered. these polls don't just have sanders on top with 25%, and biden sinking into the teens. these are also the polls with klobuchar sitting at 9%, and yang or steyer at 7% or 8%.

what if these polls are right? well, it would be kind of a disaster for the party to have sanders win the first two or three states with 20-25%, each and end up with six or seven other candidates running over 10%. but, in the long run, it doesn't help sanders for all of these other candidates to split a couple of states, if they just realign with each other, in the end. if the best polls that sanders can find have him ahead with 23%, and klobuchar hanging on with 10+%, he's going to get leapfrogged after a few states, anyways. these polls would suggest that a weak early showing by biden could give buttigieg or klobuchar a serious bounce.

but, these polls probably aren't right.

biden is probably coasting quite comfortably, and set to sweep.
wait. if trotsky had invaded germany some time in the 20s, is that an increase or a decrease in bloodshed that results from it?

how would the cartels have reacted to a communist germany? might they have tried to taker over spain, instead?

on second thought, that was one reboot too many.

i'm guessing that they got some kind of script in there, and that it took a few tries to undo it. so, we're jumping right to the reinstall...

i accidentally broke some eggs, so i need to eat them, and that's fine.

i'll be back on top of things in a few hours.
dhcp seems to use those ports.

i can set up a static ip, that's fine.
but, is it clear enough that these reboots are being triggered remotely?

absolutely. i seem to be able to let the machine sit for basically ever, so long as i don't connect it to the internet. 

it's tempting, isn't it. but, it's not realistic - i'd have to run these machines in parallel, and that's wasteful. and, i've been very clear that i don't want to use this machine for local email. i need to keep fighting this.

it seems to be using ports 67/68 over udp to trigger the reboot, which appears to be a network admin thing. again - all information suggests i'm dealing with some kind of pro.

what happens if i block those ports?
this is what your policing tax dollars go after, people - disabled canadians trying to work on their art projects and stand up for their constitutional rights, in canada.
it's my opinion that, if the cops are going to spy on me, and presumably without a warrant, and for no discernible reason, then i have every right to piss them off for the sake of pissing them off.

and, if it comes down to it, that's exactly what i'll end up doing.

it's the principle of the thing.

this is my data. this is my computer. this is my privacy. and, fuck anybody that thinks they're entitled to look at it.

what i share with the world is here, in this space. this is what you get - you get no more.
i've never been - seriously - charged with a crime, and i expect the end result of the cases that i'm filing to be that the charges that were filed and dropped against me will be declared to have been illegal.

there is absolutely no basis for any of this, whatsoever, and i will be compensated for it, in the end.
so, what am i doing?

first, i'm going to eat.

i need to run over a bunch of files on the machine. i can do that before i reimage it. then, i can upload these files on the chromebook. that's fine. i just don't have access to word on this machine...

then, i need to figure out what's going on with the court stuff, which i can do while i'm reimaging.

it's been a slow process of removing windows update components, and one thing that is positive about the last attack is that they weren't able to update the catroot. nor do they appear to have been able to install any drivers. but, i can't have some shady group that i'm only vaguely sure of the existence of gathering data on my computer - i don't consent to that, and would argue that if anybody is caught doing that then they should go to jail for it.
it takes me about two hours to reimage.

we can do it twice a day, if you want, until you fuck off.
i get the feeling that i'd be baffled by the stupidity of what i'm actually dealing with, if i was actually aware of it.

but, what do you want me to tell you?

either somebody's trying to cover up some kind of absurd lie, or that kid needs a serious psychiatrist.
liars always lose, in the end.
while i am unable to vote in the united states, i was a bernie sanders supporters over 2016 and eventually very weakly endorsed clinton as an imperceptibly lesser evil - although, had i been able to vote, i would have almost certainly voted for jill stein.

and, i am the person that posted as deathtokoalas on youtube over 2013-2017 or so.

this is my youtube site: youtube.com/deathtokoalas.
i was born in ottawa, ontario on january 13th, 1981.

that makes me 39 years old plus a few days.

i have never been to new york, i don't use twitter and i don't play video games.

my pages are on the side of the blog.
it's out of principle, at this point.

even if they're not harming anything on my machine, i did not consent to being spied upon, and will not allow the report to send if i can stop it.
so, what's going on?

i spent all day yesterday updating the files offline, because i know what happens when i go back online. the files are all updated, and i should have something up at noise trade soonish. 

and, sure enough, it didn't take long for the machine to crash once i went online to splice the files...

but, i turned off a few specific things, and it seems to be preventing the bluescreen. now, it comes up with some kind of listener over udp, instead, that appears to be trying to send some kind of report back to head office.

it doesn't matter. 

so, i will need to reformat that machine before i go back online. it's perhaps an improvement, but it's not safe to connect with it, for right now.

i'm also noticing that, when i went to go search for my blogspot site, the teenager's pages are at the top of the feed. see, this is kind of getting the point across - somebody wants the world to think that deathtokoalas is from new york, instead of from canada, despite the fact that the poster was obviously canadian, because they pointed it out every other day. anybody that actually read my posts knows i'm from canada. it's just absurd to suggest i'm from new york.

i don't know what the end goal is here, but there is no endpoint but failure, and i should have my blogs from december up within a few hours.

and, yes - i'll have to reformat the other machine before i go back online. and, did you lose your report? awww.

Saturday, January 18, 2020

ok.

so, i snuck the updates in first. i need to cross-reference before i can publish, but, tentatively, and as stated, this is a much smaller document. it's a shame about the cyberstalking, because i could have been done by the end of the year.

politics - 178 pages
music - 113 pages
deathtokoalas - 102 pages
travel - 5 pages

i will need to publish liner notes for inricycled, inri, inriched, inrimixed and inrijected. inrimake & inridiculous are coming, soon, as well as the first deny everything releases.

if i can stay up, it will be done in a few hours.
ok.

so, i'm caught up on the posts from the last few days.

did what i do work in keeping the system stable? i don't know. i know i took a few more steps. we'll see how long it lasts. i'm not expecting it to last more than a few days.

the next thing i need to do is re-evaluate the data from december, 2013, checking it for consistencies. as mentioned, there will only be a few posts left at the very end of the month, once i get through this - which probably won't be until tonight. but, i'm going to stop to eat first.

i'll get on the legal stuff when that is finished, with the intent to mail stuff on monday, hopefully.
30*3 + 30*12*6 + 30 = $2280.

+ interest...
no, really.

if i find out that my isp is spying on me on behalf of the cops, i want every dime i've ever given them back, tenfold.
wait.

are they actually using my isp?

that would be hilarious.

i want a fucking refund..
what i'm going through with this is the kind of thing that some future leaders might apologize for.

...and then keeping doing.