i posted this to the wrong profile. whatever. not like anybody in my facebook list really cares...

but the truth is, while i'd like to say i've entirely given up on trying to sell anything directly, the actual truth is that i never really made a serious effort to market any of it. i've played something like four open mic nights over almost twenty years. i've never even asked anybody for a show, because i know better than to think i have enough friends to fill up a bar, so why bother playing in an empty room? meanwhile, those bars get filled by social groups producing music that i consider to be nowhere near as interesting, which keeps me out of the social scenes i'd need to interact with.

and i realize i'm too old for that, now.

maybe i should take a marketing class, but what i've instead always been interested in focusing on is ways to take myself out of the game and just create, under some kind of fatalist conception that it will find an audience after i'm gone. i used to think i could find a day job and just create in my spare time, but i learned that's not really feasible - and i've since lost the ability to gain a day job, anyways, making it unrealistic to think in those terms.

a self-fulfilling prophecy, i suppose, brought on by an unshakable (if naive) belief that it will all work out. all i can do now is continue creating, and hope somebody finds some parts of it that they connect to in some way.