if i can put this off for long enough to get the check....
i'm not sure i can. i want to aim for sept 1st, if i can.
Thursday, August 14, 2025
i'm not joking when i point out that canada is desertifying.
if you want to know what the canadian boreal forest is going to look like very, very soon just look to the immediate south, in montana, wyoming and the dakotas. it's half desert.
the only thing currently preventing canada from looking like the us badlands is the snow. you take away the snow, you get the same thing.
conversely, wyoming is going to look like death valley in 20-30 years.
in fact, the ndp's position on israel, and the canadin position in general, is entirely consistent with the position they are taking in regards to the cowichan ruling in bc - in both cases, the government of canada stands with the colonizing power (the arabs or the english) and denies the right of the indigenous groups in canada and israel to reclaim their ancestral land, which belongs to them. in israel, they are doing it by force because they can. in canada, they are using legal systems to reclaim their land peacefully, also because they can.
there's a reason for this common pro-colonial position across the spectrum in canada, and it is because canada is a colonial society and a colonial state, and is perhaps the last of it's kind. america has completely lost any connection to it's settler-colonial past.
the issue is different in europe, where the positions being taken are more explicitly anti-jewish than pro-palestine, and it comes out of centuries of scapegoating jews. europe is on the brink of a major war and a potential depression. of course, it's ze jews' fault. always. never fails.
what i would like to see happen is for the majority of palestinians, particularly in the west bank, to reclaim their ancestry and identity and re-become jews. that is the answer to the demographic problem: convert the palestinians to judaism. the science is clear that they're descended from the hebrews more than the arabs.
gaza should be returned to egypt, and egypt is going to need to accept it.
lebanon and parts of syria (which is a failed state that should be dismantled), including kurdistan, should explore ways to unite in a confederation with israel, to create something like a united states of the levant. this state should be secular in character, democratic and define itself as not arab. it should exist in alliance with the west, as a counter-balance to the oriental despotism in the arab world.
something that westerners don't understand about the palestinians is that the other countries around israel are what is actually keeping gaza locked up, because every other country in the region wants to prevent palestinian migration. i'm keying on egypt, but the saudis are notoriously brutal about this, as are the turks. why do you think the arab sunni palestinians became a proxy of the shi'ite iranians?
why is that?
1. the palestinians are a radicalized population, and the other countries don't want them to destabilize their own countries. if you think an israeli jail is bad, try an egyptian jail. these absurd chants you are repeating like useful idiots are in truth the chains that enslave gaza and prevent them from leaving.
2. the palestinians are a poor population with minimal access to education, which is why they're so radicalized. they are not ideal immigrants.
3. racism. it is widely understood that the palestinians are about 50% hebrew and 30% subsaharan african, as descendants of african slaves brought into the region from the arab slave trade. there are other groups that have occupied the region and contributed to the racial mix, including turks and greeks. they in truth have minimal arab admixture, and weren't even muslims until the collapse of the last crusades in the 15th century, when the muslim rulers decided to convert the remaining christians by force.
it's hard to make sense of the idea of deporting palestinians to sudan on first glance as anything other than a cynical joke, which i take it is what it actually is. but there's reasons why these people can't get out of this mess and resettle in the sinai, or on the red sea. the saudis have a massive port investment on the red sea. why not let palestinians migrate?
because they're not seen as arabs, they're seen as jews, or as africans.
there is some logic in resettling palestinians in yemen. that would coincide with the racial prejudices against them in the arab upper class.
i posted update 5 around 20:30 on aug 11th, with the intent to get out on the 12th. i then fell asleep around 21:00 and woke up about an hour later.
i noted a weird event at the time, which was three damp spaces on my bed. these damp spaces were still there hours later, which is unusual. i drool a little when i sleep. i might sweat. it tends to evaporate pretty fast. this took all night to lift. there was also feces loose in my rectum, which is an odd observation.
later, on the afternoon of the 13th, i noted one of the pins on my front door seemed lose.
i am taking note of effects. there are none yet, but i may need to change my approach if any develop. if they got in here to drug my anally, i will need to get to the blood lab to measure it.
i decided to finish washing my face first and then get in the shower. i made some coffee. this took a little longer than intended, to the point where i had to stop to eat first, and then actually fell asleep. i woke up late in the morning, and went right into the shower, which didn't work out as intended. i eventually realized i'd need to do another round of hair washing before i could go anywhere. so, i got out and made some bread, and then slept a bit more. i woke up around 23:00 to make some eggs and was awake all night, but instead of washing i spent the night on the computer preparing documents for the printer. i also applied for some apartments, which i would describe as testing the market. i got a lot done and am far more ready to get to the printer than i was before.
i will note there was a large plume of marijuana consumed in the house around 7:30. i slept briefly around 10:00 and had a phone appointment at 13:00, where i got canada disability forms filled out. this will increase my income by $200/month, which is substantive when you're poor. i slept again in the afternoon.
i woke up around 16:00 and realized i need to wash my face off a bit more, as there has been further vellus hair growth and a number of weird ingrowns i had to try to scrape over. i was unusually hungry. i noticed a strange mark on my ankle, after having cramps in my foot the previous day. i had some stomach pains, so i took some tums. i also passed a large bowel movement. i feel asleep again around 21:00 and woke up mildly agitated close to 22:30.
i would not describe this as anything close to an erection, and it didn't last more than two seconds, but it created noticeable agitation that continued after urination, albeit not for very long. there are no symptoms of priapism; i am in fact totally limp, as i should be. it could be because i burned some remnant steroids in fat after not eating for over 20 hours, but the series of weird observations over the last two days needs to be documented. my feeling is that this is something more along the lines of what happens when they harass me (try to condition me when sleeping) without drugging me, which is marginal to entirely ineffective, depending on a variety of factors. my body is reacting in certain ways without demonstrating effects oof the absent testosterone.
if i am wrong, i will adjust. i am not advancing a theory. i think kant was a moron. i am trying to analyze evidence to understand what is happening, because i think empiricism and the scientific method is superior as epistemology to theory and hypothesis.
i'm going to update this before i make some pasta, and then get in the shower for another round of hair washing. if this hair washing round is successful in getting the sweat out of my hair and washing the hair through, i should be able to get out tomorrow.
- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.
- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine
- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon
- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise
- june 20th: caesar salad without subs
- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad
- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets
- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs
- june 24th: caesar salad without subs
- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai
- june 28th: broccoli soup
- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)
- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 1st: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 2nd: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 3rd: 10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).
- july 4th: a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.
- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 7th: two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.
- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.
- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)
- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips
- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips
- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)
- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)
- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)
- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.
- july 16th:. pasta with minor subs (5)
- july 17th: pasta with minor subs (6)
- july 18th (on the 19th): pasta with minor subs (7)
- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)
- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)
- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)
- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.
- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3
- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)
- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.
- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)
- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.
- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)
- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam.
- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.
- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread for peanut butter and strawberry jam.
- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 3rd: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (on aug 4th). two pieces of toasted italian bread.
- aug 4th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 5th)
- aug 5th: pasta with minor subs (16), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (on aug 6th)
- aug 6th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (on aug 7th).
- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 8th).
- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (on aug 9th)
- aug 9th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 10th).
- aug 10th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 11th)
- aug 11th: pasta with minor subs (18), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 12th)
- aug 12th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (at midnight on aug 13th)
- aug 13th: pasta with minor subs (19), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (early on aug 14th)
Wednesday, August 13, 2025
if the position of the bc ndp is bafflingly going to be to oppose the landmark indigenous rights decision in bc because it's concerned about property rights for transnational corporations and bourgeois property owners, i want to see ndp activists show up outside the attorney generals office and chant "property is theft!" until the woman resigns and they reverse course.
the court has shown that property is impossible.
that is a wonderful ruling that the ndp should celebrate.
i want to point out that i'm again in sort of desperate need of aid.
the stalkers have followed me here, and i'm trying to get them arrested, but it's become increasingly clear that i'm up against more than a couple of random losers. there are some things that are clear, and some things i'm left to guess. the involvement of the police is pretty blatant at this point; the courts are behaving strangely, and that points fingers towards the provincial government. i appear to have walked into a trap that was designed as one.
i have limited resources as it is, and i don't enjoy competitive people or competitive behaviour. life is so short. who wants to waste it fighting and winning? i have better things to do.
but it was one thing when i was fighting with a shithead landlord, and another when i'm trying to evade the landlord, the police and possibly even the government. all i want is a safe space to be free, to work on my art. i don't care about capitalism. i don't care about wealth. i don't care about labour. i don't care about class. those are all wastes of time that don't matter. i care about art. i care about freedom.
there's a paypal donation button on the side.
you could also download some or all of my music by perusing through my bandcamp archive,
i'm not sure what the best way to get out of here or how to respond is yet.
my first priority was restabilizing my hormones and cleaning myself back up.
i may be seeking to get out of here by signing a lease for sept 1 and just fleeing if i can. the market is mildly better. i have barely enough, but it's going to be hard. any minimal donations would help me escape.
i've learned that i need to avoid certain types of properties. the safest place for me to find is the bottom of a duplex, like i had before, where the top is occupied by the owner of the property. further, i need to avoid trying to cohabit with muslims, as the cult is their priority, and they are all in kahoots with each other.
these lessons can help me maximize the likelihood of finding a stable place that will prevent me from needing to move again, but i need to take it one space at a time.
right now, i need to get away from the stalkers and i need to get this past the corrupt cops and try to get it in front of a judge.
i intended to get out today, but my hair is worse than i thought, and it clogged up the rest of the day, in terms of finishing documents. i'm still hoping to get out in the morning.
i had this weird complex develop on my right cheek that i'm struggling to understand but appears to have been a five inch long ingrown vellus hair that somehow weaved itself a complex, twisted pattern into the side of my face just far enough under my skin that it itches, but i can't get it out. it would be an effective method of torture, if somebody could patent and reproduce it. what i'm getting is this heaving of pus and dead skin that is like stapled onto my cheek by the hair. when it comes off, it's going to look like somebody waxed the side of my face off.
but what i'm learning in trying to deal with this is that all of the follicles are dead. vellus hairs are what happens when follicles die. as annoying as this is, it is actually going to help me in the long run.
these disgusting freaks have drugged me to the point that it's actually chemically completed the electrolysis i left 80% finished in 2002. when a follicle is dead, the next step after vellus hair is cessation. by repeatedly drugging me and forcing me to pluck it out, they have helped me damage the roots to the point where i can bring that 20% to cessation. their filthy drugs are just going to stop working altogether, soon.
i need to do some typing this morning and get everything put together first, before i get ready to go out in the morning or perhaps afternoon.
the issue with my hair is that it's clumped up and frizzy, which is normal for me for a few washes after a bleach, but it's being made wore by the drugs they're putting in my food. it needs another rigorous shampoo to stop it from bunching up, which is gross.
There were about ~6,700 reported wildfire ignitions in 2023, which represents—surprisingly— a lower
number than the average of about 8,000 wildfires per year (Hanes et al. 2019). Lightning ignited 59% of
the wildfires and lightning-caused wildfires accounted for 93% of the total area burned (long-term
average = 91%) (Hanes et al. 2019). Lightning storms that caused multiple simultaneous ignitions that are
beyond initial attack capacity led to several large fires, some of which eventually coalesced. Lightning
fires that started on four days, May 13th, May 27th , June 1st and July 5th, were responsible for 30% of
the total annual area burned. Interestingly, 2023 had the third lowest overall lightning detections since
1998. The lightning-ignition efficiency was high due to extensive areas of dry, receptive ground fuels
coinciding with the specific timing and location of lightning events (Rao et al. 2023), a phenomenon that
is expected to increase as a function of the ongoing warming and drying (Hessilt et al. 2022). Although
they are responsible for a comparatively low proportion of the total area burned (7%), human-caused
ignitions were numerous early in the season, before the greening of vegetation and the prevalence of
lightning storms (Parisien et al. 2023). Many of these, notably in Alberta, burned for months and caused
evacuations of communities. Yet, it is difficult to confidently assign a human cause to some fires due to
ongoing investigations and the eventual intermingling of individual fires with multiple ignition sources in
large wildfire complexes.
Tuesday, August 12, 2025
most of the wildfires in canada are starting in remote regions, which is why they burn so badly - we don't even know they're burning until they get out of control.
Lighting strikes become more frequent as the climate warms (McKabe 2023). Ninety-three per cent of the area burned in Canada in 2023 was from fires ignited by lightning; only 7 per cent by human-ignition (Jain et al. 2024).
i agree that this law is overly broad and should be struck down by the court.
however, i would support a permanent ban on smoking in the forest. don't throw your butts or your roaches in the woods, ever.
i had a copy of cuts like a knife on cassette in the mid 80s, when i was very small. however, you can tell that the guys doing the sharon and arafat voiceovers in conan's discovery of ai video must have been canadian, because the record was not released internationally until after reckless was a global hit.
if bryan adams was on the road to damascus in 1983, it was to get yelled at by god or something. he probably wasn't.
we put a tariff on chinese steel, which i don't quite understand. cheap steel is good for canada's economy. further, steel manufacturing is very dirty and it's worthwhile to outsource it for that reason.
the chinese have every right to retaliate with a tariff on canola, although i don't quite understand that either.
The land is owned by the federal government, the province, the City of Richmond, the Vancouver Fraser Port Authority, and various private companies and individuals.
that is false.
the ruling states the land is owned by the indigenous peoples that never sold or ceded it and that these groups are currently squatting on land they do not own.
it's frequently glossed over in schools, but one of the major causes of the american revolution (1776, 13 years after the royal proclamation) was that americans didn't like the idea of not being able to buy lands from the indians in what was at the time the ohio river area. the royal proclamation is still canadian law, but it was actually directed mostly at american settlers around the appalachians.
the american state never allowed it's settlers to buy allodial title from the indians, but it didn't see the need to sign treaties or uphold roman imperial precedents the way the british did. it just killed them. stealing land from the indians was not really against the law in the united states the way it was and still is in canada.
in fact, the british crown frequently had to insert itself as a source of law in restricting the activity of british settlers in canada. there are episodes where the british police came down hard on british settlers in northern ontario (at the time called upper canada) and it eventually created the rcmp for the express purpose of protecting the indians from canadian settlers. the british realized that canada was virtually uninhabitable and the only way to protect it from american encroachment was to sign treaties with the indians, so it went well out of it's way to stop canadian settlers from stealing indian lands and aggressively prosecuted canadian settlers when it broke the law. it's a very different history in the canadian prairies than the american ones.
the prairies were eventually settled not by british settlers but by scandinavian and ukrainian settlers, and in some cases by scottish settlers, who didn't behave the same way as the british did, for some reason.
there was a change in mentality after confederation in 1867, which is why british columbia is not under treaty. that change in mentality was towards a more american approach, without abandoning british law. the provincial authorities in british columbia just broke the law.
well, now they're going to have to be held accountable for it.
this isn't a grounds for appeal, and they are admitting they don't have one. they just don't like the decision.
quebec doesn't need a treaty under canadian law because it was conquered by the british from the french in the french and indian war, ending with the royal proclamation of 1763. newfoundland wasn't a part of canada at all until 1949 and the last indigenous person on the island supposedly died in 1829, many centuries after the native newfoundlanders, the beothuk, first made contact with the vikings. nunavut, since 1999, is currently a semi-autonomous region that is largely self-governed by the inuit, and includes a lot of northern quebec and labrador. there have also been some "modern treaties" that have carved out a small number of areas in bc as semi-autonomous, self-governing indigenous regions.
i haven't read the lengthy ruling, but british columbia is unique in canada because most of the province, including all of vancouver, isn't under treaty.
the treaties themselves are controversial. it is argued by some that they haven't been upheld, or that they've been abused, that the terms have been ignored or changed or even that the indigenous leaders didn't really sign or didn't understand what they signed. there is truth in all of this. they are nonetheless what a court in canada analyses when looking at indigenous land claims. this is a map from the canadian government:
 |
quebec doesn't need a treaty under canadian law because it was conquered by the british from the french in the french and indian war, ending with the royal proclamation of 1763. newfoundland wasn't a part of canada at all until 1949 and the last indigenous person on the island supposedly died in 1829, many centuries after the native newfoundlanders, the beothuk, first made contact with the vikings. nunavut, since 1999, is currently a semi-autonomous region that is largely self-governed by the inuit, and includes a lot of northern quebec and labrador. there have also been some "modern treaties" that have carved out a small number of areas in bc as semi-autonomous, self-governing indigenous regions.
but the reality is that most of bc simply isn't under treaty, which means that the only legal claim that canada has to bc at all is the 1763 proclamation itself, which orders that only the federal government is permitted to negotiate land cessation. that means that the land legally still belongs to the indigenous groups, if a court awards them aboriginal title.
if the argument by the province is that the court ruling claims that property awarded in fee simple was awarded illegally and that creates problems for the province, my understanding of the situation would be that that is probably correct - that the ruling would in fact invalidate any land parceled out because it wasn't ceded under canadian/british law (which in context is actually based on roman imperial law. this is a precedent that goes back thousands of years.). that is actually what the ruling says. that's correct.
the ruling probably orders the government to develop a treaty between the indigenous group, and as i understand it there were a couple of competing claims, but only this one by the cowichan met a series of tests determined in canadian case law to establish aboriginal title.
the consequence is that the federal government is going to have to sign a treaty with the cowichan nation. that treaty might result in ceding the land, for a sum. however, if the cowichan nation wants the land back and won't sell it, the government is in fact going to have to tear up the existing fiefdoms that it awarded, because they were awarded to land it didn't own.
is this land even a part of canada at all? well, what the 1763 proclamation says, and the united states was a part of britain at the time, is that settlers aren't allowed to buy land from the indians, only the king is. this was a land grab by the british king.
i suppose it would be up to washington whether it wants to respect the proclamation or not.
frankly, i don't see any reason why the cowichan should be forced into a treaty relationship with canada in 2025, instead of with washington or russia or china or mexico. it's their land. nobody else in canada except the government is allowed to buy it. that doesn't mean they have to sell it, and it doesn't mean they have to sell it to canada.
yes, that is what the ruling implies, and this inevitable outcome has been clear for a long time. there are large swaths of bc that were simply stolen, and that is actually not permitted under canadian law or under british imperial law. the british legal system never allowed settlers to just show up and steal land from the natives - not in america, not in africa, not in india, not in australia, not anywhere. you could buy land. you could conquer land. you could settle land. you couldn't just steal it.
that is what canada did in bc and it is not lawful under imperial law and there will have to be eventual consequences. this is the start. there's much more to come.
Monday, August 11, 2025
this is update five.
in the previous post, i included the following:
--
i can put together a plan.
- i need to detox the poisonous testosterone from my system, first. this substance is shit. people that take this voluntarily are retards. i don't want it in my system. i'd remove my kidneys and inject myself with red blood cells instead if i could. it's a complete garbage hormone with complete garbage effects.
- once that's done, i can take a blood test that will demonstrate what my blood chemistry looks like normally, in the absence of this bullshit i'm being drugged with.
- then i can buy a bottle of hot sauce at the store and make meals with it, locking myself inside until it's done.
- i can take another blood test after that
--
it is 19:00 on aug 11th. i had my blood tested at 8:00 am on aug 2nd after experiencing severe symptoms of being drugged with some kind of male hormone enhancement on july 31st that raised my testosterone levels to four times their normal levels on aug 2nd and also spiked my red blood cells and hemoglobin to higher than normal results without the lingering creatine or ketone markers i saw during the previous test on july 7th. i removed three items from my diet as a result of this - hot sauce (bought in bulk), frozen chicken (donated from the food bank) and raw bison (also a food bank donation). i have since been scrubbing and scraping myself down and am nearing a point of presentability that will allow me to do some errands in the morning, including getting this package of documents to the police and getting a third blood test that i expect to have clean and normal results, of trace testosterone levels.
on some level, 10-14 days, less than two weeks, is not that bad. it should even continue to get better for the rest of the month, at least. if i have isolated and eliminated the source of the drugs, i can hopefully move on and get on with my life, subject to what i expect to be imminent arrests of my stalkers. while it is clearly necessary for me to move on with my life, i hope the process of bringing these horrible criminals and frankly disgusting people to justice is not too lengthy.
on another level, needing to spend a third or more of any given month locked in the bathroom scrubbing myself down because some backwards idiots want me to adhere to the iron age rules of their dark age religion is extremely depressing. there is no remote justification for this overwhelmingly oppressive infringement on my right to bodily autonomy and security of the person, which i've had to deal with on a roughly monthly basis for most of the last two years.
they have told me that they want me to grow hair on my face because that is the iron age rule that they enforce in their dark age religion. they enforce their rules by violence, coercion and extreme force. dissent is not permitted. my opinion is of no importance to them, and their religion states that i have no rights and no right to disagree. you follow their iron age rules, or they kill you; that's how their religion works. there is no concept of democracy in their religion or their culture. they have also repeatedly told me that i'm "supposed to" look like my father, who i had a very poor relationship with during the last several years of his life and did not get along with well. they have stated that outcome as a motive for their harassment. there was an event near the end of his life in which he unexpectedly viciously attacked me, which put me into a state of severe ptsd that has disturbed me to the point that it has left me permanently disabled. it is this unexpected attack physical and emotional attack that is the reason i was placed on odsp and live on odsp to this day. i have largely avoided dealing with the issue out of disinterest (he's dead, so it doesn't matter. the dead are irrelevant.), but i consider my father to have been an oppressive, negative influence on my life. when i have dealt with it, it's been to reflect on ways that he was a negative influence that i hadn't thought about before, and to further recognize just how negative an influence he was. i do not want to look in the mirror and have him looking back at me and the idea of that happening severely disturbs me quite greatly. thankfully, it's not a serious consideration, as i'm a pretty girl and he was quite certainly not.
i have a picture archive that i haven't been updating recently but do have pictures to update with and will begin updating again when this is over:
https://photos.google.com/share/AF1QipMyiW_D1-wROy3WO8uOmH2DuojQMoI_SceIhrADAuwzIWeiX0-681LaOnlz1Qgauw?key=TldKOXhRd0RNMzcwMElsVkZqVTJwcnpMUFJsZXZ3
i do not look like my father. i never have. i never will.
i have a perception that my appearance may become a legal consideration, and that might be part of the purpose of what they're doing. as stated previously, i am concerned that this is about identity theft. i realize that my harassers are attacking me because i'm transgendered, and the police are letting them do it, or even colluding with them, because they are transphobic. i am concerned that i'm being set up. i am serving you with this for that reason.
the shifts in the picture archive also demonstrate that i have been drugged since 2023. you can see this truth. i cut it off bout a year ago. the last year of pictures, when they come up, will further demonstrate that i've been drugged, but i'm avoiding posting them until they present a resolution, in the form of undoing the harassment i've suffered.
however, it is not really the case that i am scraping hair off of my face on a monthly basis over the last two years. as can be seen from those pictures, i do not have issues with facial hair. i do not need to cover my face over with makeup, as i do not grow hair on my face in the first place. instead, i feel the need to describe what is actually happening, what i'm actually scraping off and why that is the case. this is intended for legal purposes, when it comes up. i'm getting ahead of myself.
to be clear: i know that my harassers are drugging me with the purpose and intent of forcing me to grow hair because they've told me they are. however, it doesn't work in the way they want it to; it has frustrating effects, which i will describe, but it's not facial hair. they keep doing it anyways.
there are several reasons why i'm not able to grow facial hair, which i will list:
- i had low testosterone levels as an adolescent and young adult, which was discovered when i started taking hormones in 2002, after testing in 2001. i was born in jan, 1981, so i was 20/21 at the time.
- i did not go through a complete puberty, but a kind of partial puberty
- i had some facial electrolysis done in the summer of 2002
- i have been taking testosterone suppressors of some sort non-stop (including a period where i was taking saw palmetto) since 2002, when i was 21. i have been suppressing my already low testosterone levels my entire adult life.
- i had an orchiectomy to remove my testicles in 2021, meaning i'm now unable to generate my own testosterone. i have continued to take suppressors anyways.
- i have consistently tested with testosterone at or below 0.4 going back to before the orchiectomy. it is so low that the tests generally can't even pick it up.
- i have never grown any hair whatsoever on other parts of my body, like my chest.
- i only grow hair in my armpits or my stomach when i've been drugged, and can use that as markers to know when i've been drugged. when i haven't been drugged, i grow no hair at all in those parts of my body.
the picture evidence going back to 1989 (when i was a little kid) is pretty strong evidence. i do not grow facial hair, i have never have grown facial hair and i'm never going to grow facial hair, no matter how much they insist on it or how often they drug me. it will never happen. my father, conversely, was an extremely hairy man, by any standards.
rather, what i'm scraping off of my face is scabbed over clogged pores that, if left on it's own, may develop into something that looks like a shadow but that will never grow into any kind of actual beard or noticeable hair, it will just clog up until it turns into acne. i rarely allow that acne to develop, as i put a myriad of products on my face when i realize i've been drugged, but if i let it sit it would turn into a collection of blemishes that include ingrowns that look like white heads (red bumps full of pus that you have to pop out) and blackheads (dark stubble that you pop out with your finger or pull out with twezers), clogged pores that expel something that looks like coffee grinds but is actually my body trying to make hair as a result of being drugged and failing to for the previous reasons, white vellus hairs in dead follicles that pop out of clogged pores and that hurt to pluck out, and large amounts of scabbed over dry skin with eyelash sized ingrowns that look like wrinkles from a distance and just wash off like eyelash hairs with enough soap. it's a gross mess, but it's not any sort of beard, and it's not what they're trying to get. they've been doing this for years and this is the best they can get. the result is that the hormones are actually giving me brutal acne and wrinkly dead skin, and it's this brutal acne and wrinkly skin that i have to scrub and scrape off, although it's really not acne or wrinkly skin at all but ingrown hair. this is similar to the kind of acne you might see in a teenage boy on the brink of puberty, but it never develops into more than that and it's never going to. rather, the acne washes off when the testosterone is removed from my system by my kidneys and it stays off until they drug me again. that is the extent of what their therapy has managed to accomplish and will ever manage to accomplish.
it takes some time to clean the acne off, but it washes off and then it's gone. this is frustrating and gross and shouldn't be happening.
i am also feeling better regarding the issue of waking up agitated after adjusting my diet and need to update that as well. over the last week, i have repeatedly woken up hearing the stalkers speaking to me, but it has not had any substantive effect of any sort since i altered my diet and shocked my system, indicating they have not yet succeeded in re-drugging me.
- aug 7th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (for 6th).
- aug 8th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (for 7th).
- aug 9th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (for 8th)
- aug 10th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (for 9th).
- aug 11th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (for 10th)
i use the same basic ingredients for most meals, but need to include my tuna sandwich and instant rice recipes:
tuna melt
- in a microwavable bowl, open a can of tuna
- this tuna is bpa free. i didn't make that choice. it's also dated to august, 2024.
- i will occasionally buy tuna or fish, but i'm extremely skittish about the mercury. i'd rather eat freshwater fish from an indoor farm. fish are unusually stupid creatures. that doesn't mean it's ok to torture them, but i wouldn't be concerned about their quality of life. cows are comparably brilliant and will appreciate an open plain. i don't think fish give a fuck, although it's very hard to force them to breed in captivity. i wouldn't be overly concerned about depressed trout, unless it's kilgore or a masked replica.
- put some hot sauce in there
- add some cumin, some black pepper, some oregano, some paprika, some hemp seeds and some nutritional yeast.
- add some fresh garlic and some fresh dill
- add an avocado and a mini bell or hot pepper (i used orange)
- add some ceasar dressing
- mix it up good
- you'll need three pieces of bread.
- don't be stupid. use whole wheat or whole grain bread.
- put the tuna salad mix on the bread
- put four or five slices of monterey jack on the tuna on each piece of bread. i actually used jalapeno monterrey jack.
- put in microwave for 90 seconds
cilantro lime monterrey jack rice
- i forgot i had instant rice. i was going to eat it with the guac. again, i'd never buy this.
- it's earthly grains 90 second cilantro lime rice.
- you microwave it for 90 second and let it sit. i did.
- put the rice in a bowl
- add five slices of monterrey jack
- microwave for 30 seconds, if necessary
- add hemp seeds, nutritional yeast, ceasar
- stir
now that this is up to date, i will intend to print it all of at the library in the morning and bring it to the police station when i am done. i will also be getting the third test done shortly, and that will be update 6, which i will bring to police separately.
i expect the police to make these arrests shortly, or for a judge to order them to indict. the law - our law, secular law - needs to be enforced. i have been stalked, drugged, harassed and raped in an attempt to forcibly convert me against my will and i need my stalkers and harassers sent to jail.
would bringing back slavery even work to help america out compete china?
probably not.
first, the chinese don't want to compete with the united states, they want to conquer them. that's clear. the chinese are simply laughing at america and calling them idiots, as it tries to "compete" and "trade" with them.
second, while a sufficient supply of prison labour may help in reshoring specific items related to american national security, the republicans are missing the point that the reason the chinese can get away with this economic system in the first place is due to the population density. the chinese can enslave their own people because they're severely overpopulated. the lower population density is the reason that slavery collapsed in the united states in the first place.
rather, the americans may find that they don't have the same level of racial solidarity that the chinese do and that, if you take away national pride based on propaganda about freedom, america may have difficulty finding soldiers to defend itself from an imminent chinese invasion.
whether the right-wing fringes in america like it or not, the war against china will have to be about liberty v slavery and if america does not have liberty then it doesn't stand a chance. it will get enslaved by the chinese.
i'm a very poor person. i'm disabled. i live on a very small fixed income that i get from the province (paid for by the city via property taxes). when influxes of migrants or refugees show up here, i have to compete with them for housing, and that pisses me off, but i don't want to blame them, i want to blame the government that created the problem. we need less refugees in canada right now while we sort out our housing problems. that's the fault of policies by successive federal governments, and we have the right to make those choices, as a sovereign state.
however, i don't want to support a policy that attacks migrant rights. i want to support the free movement of migrants, subject to the realities of scarcity and availability. i want to tell migrants that canada is not the best place for them right now, and they should look for somewhere with more available resources to redistribute, where competition for survival is less fierce, and overpopulation is less of a problem.
these are both real issues that need to be balanced. capitalism is built on the premise of artificial scarcity. it's the idea that makes the system function.
in the united states, there is a tendency to try to protect migrants by setting up things like "sanctuary cities". this is walking right into a trap.
if you are a homeless person or an illegal immigrant or perhaps even a political dissident, donald trump wants to capture you, to charge you with a bullshit crime and to enslave you in a factory to provide labour for his reshoring project, like it was in the late 19th century, the era that he wants to bring back to make america "great again", and that is a policy with a long history in the united states that will be difficult to reverse once it gets set in place. it is the idea that the united states was actually founded on.
activists in the united states should be trying to get the migrants out of the country.
china doesn't have some great competitive advantage over america, it's simply able to produce things cheaper by not paying it's workers. other countries in the pacific rim are worse, and africa is up next.
the united states has a unionized workforce and high living standards. it cannot compete with low wage chinese workers. it consequently imports things instead of making them, and the economy has reoriented to adjust for that.
if you actually listen to what the republicans are saying, their concern is not about profit maximization, as it has been since this system was set up under reagan and expanded under clinton. this isn't about money. rather, trump is concerned about the national security implications of offshoring everything and wants to force production back to the united states to eliminate the reliance on foreign manufacturers.
in order to do that, america needs to find some way to manufacture goods using labour that is at least competitive with asian labour in cost inputs, which to this point has been an intractable problem to address without abandoning some foundational principle of american society, like unionization. mechanization is an incomplete solution. china's labour conditions are slowly improving, but they're just offshoring to other countries, like vietnam. america doesn't have an infinite amount of time to wait; the issue is national security.
getting labour costs in america down far enough that they can compete with asian labour costs can only be done via the 13th amendment. that's what he's doing.
this isn't new. companies like intel have already been reshoring for about 10 years, and they are already using prison labour. however, if trump wants to ramp this up, he needs a lot of slave labour, and he needs it fast. vagracy laws are how he's going to get it, by mimicking the vagrancy laws of the jim crow era.
in canada, we don't have private prisons and we don't allow slavery by imprisonment under the 13th amendment loophole, so we don't have a legacy of jim crow laws, and we don't have a prison-industrial complex or a school to jail pipeline. in canada, prisons are publicly run and prison labour is strictly forbidden, so we have no incentive to keep people in jail; in canada, putting people in jail is an incredible strain on public resources, so we want to avoid it. in the united states, every body in jail is a source of tax revenue via the 13th amendment, so there is a strong incentive to maximize rather than minimize the number of people in jail.
the only way that the united states can really carry out reshoring it's industrial base is if it brings back slavery through the 13th amendment loophole by enslaving black people and immigrants via new jim crow laws.
i would suspect that what donald tump is doing in increasing policing in dc has more to do with finding ways to increase available slave labour in the prison system for companies he is trying to entice to return to manufacturing items in america, for national security reasons, than it does in trying to "reduce crime", which all science clearly states that increased policing does not do.
i support the french concept of secularism, which seeks to use the state as an institution to aggressively eliminate religion as a force of oppression and evil that has no redeeming qualities and should not be curated or maintained, and not the american concept of secularism, which is something stupid about not writing laws about religion.
while the initial bloodbath brought on by such a reign of terror, which is a historical event that i'm in strong support of, would be substantive, the full scale abandonment and abolition of all religion would result in an immediate, stark and permanent decrease in violent crime.
there's not any other way to get rid of these types of crimes other than to take religion head on as the sole cause of the problem.
the easiest, fastest and most effective way to deal with the issue of religious communities popping up in canada is to send the military police in to slaughter them all and to annihilate their communities by burning them down to the ground.
i strongly believe that.
if i were ever the leader of the country, i would do that as one of my first acts in power.
in the long run, i would make it a priority to remove the concept of "religious freedom", which is an orwellian contradiction in terms, from the country's constitution.
there's an opportunity to address the conversation. the science is pretty clear that policing has no effect on crime rates, but rather that property crime is caused mostly by economic inequality and that violent crime is caused mostly by religion.
the issues that need to be addressed at the root cause of crime are the negative social effects of capitalism and religion. throwing police at the issue is a waste of money.
at best, what increased policing can do is put more people in jail, but that's not the same thing as reducing crime.
i don't support an independent palestinian state at this time. however, this group is not charged with any concrete material support for terrorism, but rather with vandalizing some raf planes. that is not a sufficient reason to restrict freedom of assembly.
groups should not be declared terrorist entities without clear, concrete evidence, and that is lacking here. not liking israel or criticizing israeli policy is not enough.
i want to point out that the israelis are claiming that they want to take over gaza to install a civilian government that is neither hanas nor fatah, and that they are not intending to permanently govern. i was misled by misleading canadian news reports into thinking the latter.
however, i don't think this is possible.
what israel might be able to potentially do is install an israeli puppet state for long enough to set up elections. if this israeli puppet state, with nominal arab leadership under israeli control, can set up a police force and system of taxation, it might be able to salvage something.
however, this will require active suppression. gazan citizens will realize what is going on and fight it, whether they call themselves hamas or fatah or islamic jihad or something else. this will functionally just be a recreation of the ongoing civil war, which is what tel aviv is trying to prevent from happening.
there's not a way to eliminate hamas without removing the entire population and screening it back in and the egyptians need to be taking initiative on it.
Sunday, August 10, 2025
how am i feeling?
i spent all day scraping dead skin and clogged pores off of my face and it is getting substantively better. at some point, i just have to put soap on it and let it sit, which is what i did around 9:00 am. i have an absurdly deep ingrown on my cheek that is going to be 4 inches long when i finally get it out and is 90% of the problem because it's sewing my face shut. i have a lot of baby fat and it makes me look half my age. this stupid ingrown is making my skin look skeletor tight. i don't understand why rich people get their skin flattened, it makes them look older, not younger. young people have baby fat, they don't have tight skin. old people have tight skin.
i did not eat last night, again, and slept on an empty stomach. i slept entirely limp, as i should.
i don't think ketosis is in any way healthy, but i want to flip my habits over. for right now, it is probably a better idea for me to eat when i wake up. the reason my schedule got weird like this is that i'm trying to cook overnight because i have an overnight electricity plan; it's cheapest from 11:00 pm to 7:00 am. my schedule got all circled around and messed up as a result of that, and i started eating before bed instead of when i got up. i should try to fix that.
so, i'm going to be going to bed without eating on a regular basis and eating when i wake up. that should help mitigate anything they might get into my food by giving me the opportunity to burn it off when i;m awake.
depending on what happens with my hair tonight, i think i should be able to get out to do things tomorrow. if not, it should be the next day. i have a number of things that need to get done this week.
so let me update this again up to today and for the next few, as i wake up and get going:
- june 16th: doubled up salsa with chick peas, cheese, spices and vitamins.
- june 17th: onion soup bacon poutine
- june 18th: basic doritos nachos and french onon soup with bacon
- june 19th: doubled up salsa reprise
- june 20th: caesar salad without subs
- june 21st: 2nd onion soup poutine with onion soup and last chance salad
- june 22rd: 3rd onion soup poutine with onion soup with beets
- june 23rd: caesar salad without subs
- june 24th: caesar salad without subs
- june 25th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 26th: bacon and eggs without subs, no salsa
- june 27th: ad hoc pad thai
- june 28th: broccoli soup
- june 29th: fridge-clearing meal (oranges & garlic bread)
- june 30th: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 1st: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 2nd: kd + chick peas + fridge clearing exercise
- july 3rd: 10 packages of instant oatmeal, in 5 installments. spaghetti-os + spices & vitamins (cumin, cayenne, pepper, oregano, paprika, sunflower seed, hemp seed, nutritional yeast, frank's).
- july 4th: a can of stew and a can of corn, plus spices & vitamins.
- july 5th: a package of jasmine rice i had put aside as a quinoa sub (it probably isn't), with a can of peas and a can of tomato soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 6th: a can of beans cooked in a can of vegetable soup, plus spices and vitamins.
- july 7th: two cans of chicken noodle soup, plus spices and vitamins. tim's xl double-double coffee in morning. two builders protein mini bars in evening. 7-11 coffee with jalapeno taquito late at night.
- july 8th: food bank junk food eat through - two bags of "real vegetable chips" (one big, one small), a bag of goldfish crackers, one mini crispy crunch, some strawberry licorice, prime energy drink, two tim horton's donuts, little ceasar's pepperoni pizza with unlabelled chocolate milk product.
- july 9th: another prime energy drink with another unlabelled chocolate milk product, unlabelled food bank ginger bread (two loaves)
- july 10th: pasta with minor subs (1), third energy drink, sour cream n cheddar chips
- july 11th: sour cream 'n' bacon, sour cream 'n' onion chips
- july 12th: more licorice, pasta with minor subs (2)
- july 13th: jalapeno cheddar chips, pasta with minor subs (3)
- july 14th: 10 baby cookies, pasta with minor subs (4)
- july 15th: i ate most of the 14th pasta on the 15th and followed it with the remaining baby cookies (which are actually french butter cookies, not baby cookies. they look like baby cookies). i did not make pasta for the 15th.
- july 16th:. pasta with minor subs (5)
- july 17th: pasta with minor subs (6)
- july 18th (on the 19th): pasta with minor subs (7)
- july 19th (on the 20th): cereal (one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and an apple)
- july 20th (on the 21st): pasta with minor subs (8)
- july 21st (on the 22nd): pasta with minor subs (9)
- july 22nd: cereal day 2 in cycle 2 (final cycle 2 cereal day): one bowl of vector and all bran with paprika, flax, nutritional yeast, hemp seeds and soy, as per my normal diet and one bowl of instant oatmeal with a little real milk and two apples, one in the oatmeal and one standalone.
- july 23rd: cereal day 1 in cycle 3
- july 24: pasta with minor subs (10)
- july 25: cereal day 2 in cycle 3, same as 22 and 23, with the addition of 6 mini apple sauce containers.
- july 26: pasta with minor subs (11)
- july 27th - guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white bread with plum better.
- july 28th: pasta with minor subs (12)
- july 29th: guac with white rice and canned corn. two pieces of white toast with olive oil margarine, and then two pieces of white bread with plum butter after. four more pieces of white bread, with plum butter and strawberry jam.
- july 30th: pasta with minor subs (13), including fried chicken for salami.
- july 31st: a larger piece of fried chicken alone. pasta with minor subs (14), including a mix of buffalo and chicken for salami. six pieces of white bread for peanut butter and strawberry jam.
- aug 1st: four pieces of white bread and the rest of the peanut butter. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 2nd: four marshmallows, two bananas and a chocolate bar. quinoa without subs (on aug 3rd).
- aug 3rd: pasta with minor subs (15), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami (on aug 4th). two pieces of toasted italian bread.
- aug 4th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 5th)
- aug 5th: pasta with minor subs (16), including the buffalo/chicken mix for salami. two pieces of toasted italian bread. (on aug 6th)
- aug 6th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn (on aug 7th).
- aug 7th: monterrey jack tuna salad melt with bowl of cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 8th).
- aug 8th: pasta with minor subs (17), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (on aug 9th)
- aug 9th: guac with yellow pepper, homemade hot sauce and canned corn wth cilantro lime monterrey jack rice (on aug 10th).
- aug 10th: bacon and eggs (no salsa) (on aug 11th)
- aug 11th: pasta with minor subs (18), homemade hot sauce and bacon for salami (late on aug 11th or early on aug 12th)
mr. carney,
i know that you are new to politics, but when you speak about issues like gaza in strictly normative terms, you should not be attempting to speak on behalf of the country. the prime minister's office does not determine normative values, not by proclamation, and not by order in council. democratic societies do not legislate normative concepts of morality, that is only done in authoritarian systems of governance.
you are a private citizen and, like any other, you are entitled to your opinion on the issue of gaza, and on any other. you speak for yourself. you do not speak for me, and you do not speak on behalf of the country. that is not your role or function, in our constitutional democracy.
thank you,
jessica
trump is certainly making some bad social, cultural and economic decisions, but american hegemony is deep and entrenched. he's only got three more years to fuck that up, and he doesn't last that long.
conversely, whoever is making geostrategic decisions in the white house right now (it is likely not actually donald trump) is reversing decades of systemic strategic error that set in during the bush administration. why didn't the pentagon seek to work with israel to contain iran like it's doing now in the first place? it tried to conquer iraq and afghanistan,which was stupid. the nuclear deal that obama signed was a face-saving strategy to hide the fact that the russians walked in after that, and once the russians set up those missile defense systems, america had no choice but to adjust.
the recent movements in armenia, in lebanon and in syria are smart containment decisions.
the tariffs are stupid. the anti-woke bullshit is stupid. the immigration policy is mostly stupid. the abortion policy is stupid.
the recent geopolitical strategy is not stupid. whatever neo-kissinger is in there making choices is making good choices and knows what they're doing.
what america is doing is leaving europe behind and moving on.
this is a big, positive shift and long overdue.
the lebanese have historically tried to avoid fighting with these muslim groups, and while it may have been their best choice in the dark ages, it's gotten them nowhere in recent decades.
it is great to see the lebanese take some initiative in governing themselves. as weber said, the state needs a monopoly on force.
see, i would believe that brigitte macron was transgendered if i didn't know she isn't (she has children) because she basically presents herself like a drag queen. her problem is that she's a 72 year old that has aged very poorly. her hair is awful. she has awful skin. and she wears shoulder pads, which went out of fashion before i was born.
the president of france is an odd duck. he apparently initially was dating her daughter, who is closer to his age, but started fucking her mom, instead. i could imagine how that went, initially. she's apparently ok with it now.
the ramification is that macron apparently has no plans to have his own children because he's sticking with this woman who has now aged past him and into retirement age. who am i to judge?
up until now, the winner of a pointless war between russia and the west has been china. if the americans are extracting themselves from it and instead positioning themselves to sell arms, perhaps to both sides, they are repositioning themselves from a losing to a winning position.
my concern has been that it's impossible for america to win a war against china without russian support, and that the actual fact is that the russians want to align with the west, not with china, which is in their benefit and something they should take advantage of. we've been forcing them to align against us, and it's been shooting ourselves in the foot and not in our self-interest.
for the americans to just get up and walk away like this in a way that allows them to potentially salvage a relationship with the russians in any future chinese containment operations is making a clear choice that the russians are more strategic and more valuable allies in a war against china than europe is, even if it means europe aligns with china as a result, and potentially because the calculation is that it's inevitable that the germans are going to align with the chinese, anyways.
this isn't ideal. the ideal is that you want a western bloc that includes russia and india that can be used to contain china. this war in the middle of europe is the result of joe biden being an idiot and vladimir putin being an equal idiot and the two of them falling for the chinese bait, which worked splendidly. there was a lingering ideological position on the american right that has shifted to the democratic party since hillary clinton that the new american century had to include the destruction of russia, and they walked right into the trap the chinese set for them. the result has been disastrous for everybody, except china.
trump is probably right that the russians are the more valuable ally against the chinese. however, this doesn't need to be done so fast. there is time to salvage the whole west and prevent it from splintering or partially realigning with china.
nato was on the brink of irrelevance because it had no enemy. the enemy was in the pacific, not the atlantic. washington was trying to pivot. ukraine undid that by stoking tensions that are legitimate.
at some point, nato countries are going to need to understand that there is no value in having missiles pointed at moscow, and this kind of war is the only possible outcome of that policy. if putin is demanding that nato dismantle the missiles pointed at his heartland to stop this war so that the west can unite and focus on it's enemy, which is the east, it should do it.
i think the point the americans are making is that if the europeans want to fight the russians on this then they're on their own and will have to start buying their own weapons, and i agree with the american position and would like to see canada shift to it.
a protracted war between the eu and russia is not in the eu's self-interest and will result in radical electoral shifts across many of it's key nations.
again, i don't think we should punish ourselves by snowing ourselves in. have you ever been to ottawa in february? i don't recommend it. i remember walking to school past 20 foot snowbanks, and it's really hard to cross the street when you can't tell if there's anything coming at you or not on the other side of the snow. it's a barely inhabitable city.
go south for the winter if you can. don't punish yourself. it's not worth it.
canada's economic and social and political response needs to be to advance our self-interest, whatever it is, and not to try to hurt the americans in retaliation. this, too, shall pass. it's a few more months, and trump is gone.
canada is in many ways the last remaining colonial state, and this reflects a brutally colonial mentality.
this is why the legal process and the court system isn't a democracy, but is rather governed by principles of law. the idea of indigenous rights is not understood well by most canadians, and their legal rights and their property rights (in some cases) cannot be extinguished by plebiscite. that's what the americans did, and our rejection of that approach is a defining difference between us, and makes us superior.
it's helpful to understand where the population is, but it really has no legal relevance.
the government should launch a bible buy-back program to get the dangerous literature off of the street. it shouldn't be burned, exactly. i want future historians to have bibles they can cite for research. the idea is that we should have an enlightenment, an awakening, where we realize that this is a shitty book with shitty morals and shitty ideas and shitty teachings and we should voluntarily just fucking get rid of it, and especially that we should keep our kids away from it.
rather, it should be warehoused somewhere, with limited access, perhaps the same place we store guns that have been bought back. you should need to have academic credentials to get in to read it.
it could be called the "god and guns" warehouse, and funded with an lcbo down the street.
Saturday, August 9, 2025
how am i feeling?
this morning was weird. i did not intend to sleep. i wanted to rest my legs and get up to eat. i did pass out around 7:00. they woke me up a few times, the last time around 11:00, feeling very minimally agitated.
i wouldn't even describe this as ten seconds. i'd describe this as increased blood flow, maybe even due to high progesterone. however, it hung on after i got up to urinate and, without causing any actual effects, was painful enough to prevent me from going back to sleep.
i had to roll over and think this through.
i hadn't eaten in 30+ hours. forget about food, then. i was metabolizing fat. i know that we store lots of toxins in our fat tissue, and it's a different way that carrying around extra fat, or extra muscle, or extra weight in general, is a health risk. mercury, for example, builds up in your fat deposits. so i rolled over and checked it and steroids do actually build up in your fat tissue.
it follows that if i was in ketosis due to not eating this morning, i was releasing the steroid toxins that were stored in my body fat, as i was metabolizing it. the results would be similar to eating something that had been drugged. i was being drugged by my own fat cells.
this indicates the potential problems and complications associated with drugging somebody. it's true enough that i would now have toxic testosterone molecules sitting in my my body cells, and it's going to take months or years to truly get rid of it. in the short run, i want to make sure i'm eating enough to prevent myself from burning stored tissues, until i can get to burning more of it off with cardio, which i'd hope should just excrete the toxic steroids through urine.
sure enough, i made some pasta and fell back to sleep to get the rest i missed this morning and i woke up perfectly limp, as i should. i was no longer in ketosis, i was now metabolizing the food i just ate.
i think i've got this problem figured out.
i bought a 1.5 L jug of grapefruit juice and a 3 L jug of orange juice at the same store at the same time. they're the same brand, even.
the amount of sugar, per serving, is the same - 21 or 22 g per 250 ml.
there is a warning on the orange juice, but not the grapefruit juice. why?
because the grapefruit is a 1.5 L jug and the orange juice is a 3 L jug, so the jug of orange juice has twice as much total sugar.
when labeling is this stupid, it creates ignorance and confusion. it does the opposite of what it's supposed to. frankly, i can read the ingredients, and i don't need a misleading label to confuse me. this system should be abolished outright.
"ukraine doesn't have any cards."
you think ukraine is game?
if ukraine wants to keep fighting a losing war, i guess that's up to them. however, it's increasingly looking like they'll have to buy weapons from europe to do it.
if i were putin, i wouldn't think it makes sense to stop now. ukraine is weak. russia should have prioritized getting to the dnieper from the start.
this is going to cause a ripple effect, as it blocks iran off from russia and limits china's ability to move goods through iran. the iranians have succeeded in preventing this up to now.
we'll see if it lasts.
i would hope that the implication is that the russians are cluing in to who they're really fighting against.
"if we were secular humansts, we wouldn't be able to sing carols at christmas"
sure you would! you're mostly singing pagan hymns, anyways. those reindeer are norse gods.
i will stand up for your right to singing childish songs at whatever age, whether you believe in it or not.
the longer that people that don't really believe it continue to drag this awful iron age book around, the stronger the threat that people will take it seriously again one day. if you actually agree with me that the bible is a threat to human freedom, then put the book on the shelf in the library, leave it for curators and walk away from it.
this is a cynical pr move to reverse declining membership. i actually think it's backwards. the fire and brimstone sells more dues and fills more pews.
but does anybody even know where these people get their theology from nowadays?
it doesn't appear to be christian dogma, which is clear that the fags are going to hell.
it is actually true that a big grapefruit would have more total sugar than a mars bar, but a mars bar has more added sugar and that's what the system should be concerned about. i'm actually trying to rationalize my argument, as you eat a chocolate bar all at once. you don't drink a 3 L container of juice at once.
the glycemic index is more important:
mars bar - glycemic index of 62, glycemic load of 20
grapefruit - glycemic index of 25, glycemic load of 4
3 L jug of orange juice - glycemic load of 125, but you don't drink it at once
500 ml glass of orange jucie - glycemic index of 40, glycemic load around 15
glycemic index of 55 or lower is low.
you should eat the grapefruit, unless you just had a blood test and fasted the last 15 hours.
these food label warnings introduced by the trudeau government are baffling dumb and should be outright abolished.
as an example, there is a sugar warning on orange juice and no sugar warning on a chocolate bar i bought the other day after a blood test. the reason is that the test doesn't appear to differentiate between natural and added sugar. the 3 L container of orange juice would perhaps have more total sugar than the 100 g chocolate bar, but that is of no relevance to anybody's health. no health body has ever suggested orange juice is going to give you diabetes or make you fat. it's one of the most healthy substance available, and it's glycemic index is quite low.
this system would tell you to eat a mars bar instead of a grapefruit.
in addition to garlic face, my scalp smells like vinegar. it's enough that conditioner interacts with it and alters the smell of the product. i wasn't cooking with coconut and hot sauce tonight, i was just washing my hair with moisturizing conditioner.
that was a long shower and i needed it. i'm not done yet. my face is clearing back up, but my hair is going to need a few more days of five hour shampoo & conditioner baths to recover from getting bleached with steroid sweat. when i'm detoxed, my normal sweat has a lot of estrogen and acts as a cleanser; this dirty poison steroid sweat makes me filthy, all around. yuck.
i'll just have to do that again tomorrow. and the next night. and again until it's done.
i haven't eaten yet, but i'm kind of exhausted from the shower.
my hair is certainly better than it was a few hours ago.
i was holding on to a little constipation for much of today. i pooped it out this evening and i'm feeling fully cleared out and pretty stable.
i bought a lot of bacon last time i was out for the poutine, but the poutine is hot and sour soup based, and i still need to eat through these red peppers before they rot. there's two big ones and a fair amount of mini ones left, then two yellows and a bowl full of orange peppers. the potatoes are still ok. i don't have enough avocadoes left and need to buy more soon, so i should focus on using those items up and plan around getting to the blood lab for a clean test as soon as i can, maybe even as soon as monday.
i did dye my hair. it's very bleached. i tried to let the conditioner sit in it and it just dried right out and frizzed up. as mentioned previously, i know that the sweat i'm producing when drugged with steroids is having a devastating effect on my hair, so i've been waiting this out a little. i have to detox first, and then wash my hair. i can take the status of my hair as a good indicator of whether i've cleared my system out.
i still have a lot of pasta to eat and that's the best way to eat the ingredients i still have, for at least a few more days. what i'm going to do is make some pasta with bacon instead of bison or chicken, which can stay in the freezer, and homemade hot sauce. i know the homemade hot sauce is fine. i know the bacon is fine. if the pasta still triggers me after thst, i'll have to look at other causes to isolate and neutralize.
i'm still waiting for a call from a seconder for my srs letter. i'll be talking to my doctor again in a few days and intend to bring that up.
the thing about the heat in this region this summer is that it hasn't been extreme. it's been constant. in recent years, we've sometimes had these heat domes sink in, but they lift, and then you get a week of below seasonal weather. it balances out to a 27 or 28 degree average, but what that means here is that sometimes it's 35 and sometimes it's 24.
this year, it's been above seasonal pretty much every single day, but it hasn't swung into any extreme heat events. the hottest days have been under 35. we haven't come close to 40.
my perception is that this should consequently actually be interpreted as a cold summer, relative to the new normal, which is the old normal cranked up several degrees. if this was 30 years ago, it would be a summer where every day is 25, and without heat swings.
i wish i was able to go out and enjoy the weather but i've instead been dealing with these losers drugging me with garbage hormones in a conscious attempt to make me unattractive and depressed. i like this weather. i want to go out to all night dance parties in detroit and have fun. i can't. i'm stuck yelling at disgusting losers to smoke their drugs away from the house.
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