THE OWNERS OF THE land came onto the land, or more often a spokesman for
the owners came. They came in closed cars, and they felt the dry earth with their
fingers, and sometimes they drove big earth augers into the ground for soil tests. The
tenants, from their sun-beaten dooryards, watched uneasily when the closed cars drove
along the fields. And at last the owner men drove into the dooryards and sat in their
cars to talk out of the windows. The tenant men stood beside the cars for a while, and
then squatted on their hams and found sticks with which to mark the dust.
In the open doors the women stood looking out, and behind them the children—
corn-headed children, with wide eyes, one bare foot on top of the other bare foot, and
the toes working. The women and the children watched their men talking to the owner
men. They were silent.
Some of the owner men were kind because they hated what they had to do, and
some of them were angry because they hated to be cruel, and some of them were cold
because they had long ago found that one could not be an owner unless one were cold.
And all of them were caught in something larger than themselves. Some of them hated
the mathematics that drove them, and some were afraid, and some worshiped the
mathematics because it provided a refuge from thought and from feeling. If a bank or a
finance company owned the land, the owner man said, The Bank—or the Company—
needs—wants—insists—must have—as though the Bank or the Company were a
monster, with thought and feeling, which had ensnared them. These last would take no
responsibility for the banks or the companies because they were men and slaves, while
the banks were machines and masters all at the same time. Some of the owner men
were a little proud to be slaves to such cold and powerful masters. The owner men sat
in the cars and explained. You know the land is poor. You've scrabbled at it long
enough, God knows. The squatting tenant men nodded and wondered and drew figures in the dust, and
yes, they knew, God knows. If the dust only wouldn't fly. If the top would only stay on
the soil, it might not be so bad.
The owner men went on leading to their point: You know the land's getting poorer.
You know what cotton does to the land; robs it, sucks all the blood out of it.
The squatters nodded—they knew, God knew. If they could only rotate the crops
they might pump blood back into the land.
Well, it's too late. And the owner men explained the workings and the thinkings of
the monster that was stronger than they were. A man can hold land if he can just eat
and pay taxes; he can do that.
Yes, he can do that until his crops fail one day and he has to borrow money from the
bank.
But—you see, a bank or a company can't do that, because those creatures don't
breathe air, don't eat side-meat. They breathe profits; they eat the interest on money. If
they don't get it, they die the way you die without air, without side-meat. It is a sad
thing, but it is so. It is just so.
The squatting men raised their eyes to understand. Can't we just hang on? Maybe
the next year will be a good year. God knows how much cotton next year. And with all
the wars—God knows what price cotton will bring. Don't they make explosives out of
cotton? And uniforms? Get enough wars and cotton'll hit the ceiling. Next year,
maybe. They looked up questioningly.
We can't depend on it. The bank—the monster has to have profits all the time. It
can't wait. It'll die. No, taxes go on. When the monster stops growing, it dies. It can't
stay one size.
Soft fingers began to tap the sill of the car window, and hard fingers tightened on
the restless drawing sticks. In the doorways of the sun-beaten tenant houses, women
sighed and then shifted feet so that the one that had been down was now on top, and
the toes working. Dogs came sniffing near the owner cars and wetted on all four tires
one after another. And chickens lay in the sunny dust and fluffed their feathers to get
the cleansing dust down to the skin. In the little sties the pigs grunted inquiringly over
the muddy remnants of the slops.
The squatting men looked down again. What do you want us to do? We can't take
less share of the crop—we're half starved now. The kids are hungry all the time. We
got no clothes, torn an' ragged. If all the neighbors weren't the same, we'd be ashamed
to go to meeting.
And at last the owner men came to the point. The tenant system won't work any
more. One man on a tractor can take the place of twelve or fourteen families. Pay him
a wage and take all the crop. We have to do it. We don't like to do it. But the monster's
sick. Something's happened to the monster.
But you'll kill the land with cotton.
We know. We've got to take cotton quick before the land dies. Then we'll sell the
land. Lots of families in the East would like to own a piece of land.
The tenant men looked up alarmed. But what'll happen to us? How'll we eat?
You'll have to get off the land. The plows'll go through the dooryard.
And now the squatting men stood up angrily. Grampa took up the land, and he had
to kill the Indians and drive them away. And Pa was born here, and he killed weeds and snakes. Then a bad year came and he had to borrow a little money. An' we was
born here. There in the door—our children born here. And Pa had to borrow money.
The bank owned the land then, but we stayed and we got a little bit of what we raised.
We know that—all that. It's not us, it's the bank. A bank isn't like a man. Or an
owner with fifty thousand acres, he isn't like a man either. That's the monster.
Sure, cried the tenant men, but it's our land. We measured it and broke it up. We
were born on it, and we got killed on it, died on it. Even if it's no good, it's still ours.
That's what makes it ours—being born on it, working it, dying on it. That makes
ownership, not a paper with numbers on it.
We're sorry. It's not us. It's the monster. The bank isn't like a man.
Yes, but the bank is only made of men.
No, you're wrong there—quite wrong there. The bank is something else than men. It
happens that every man in a bank hates what the bank does, and yet the bank does it.
The bank is something more than men, I tell you. It's the monster. Men made it, but
they can't control it.
The tenants cried, Grampa killed Indians, Pa killed snakes for the land. Maybe we
can kill banks—they're worse than Indians and snakes. Maybe we got to fight to keep
our land, like Pa and Grampa did.
And now the owner men grew angry. You'll have to go.
But it's ours, the tenant men cried. We—
No. The bank, the monster owns it. You'll have to go.
We'll get our guns, like Grampa when the Indians came. What then?
Well—first the sheriff, and then the troops. You'll be stealing if you try to stay,
you'll be murderers if you kill to stay. The monster isn't men, but it can make men do
what it wants.
But if we go, where'll we go? How'll we go? We got no money.
We're sorry, said the owner men. The bank, the fifty-thousand-acre owner can't be
responsible. You're on land that isn't yours. Once over the line maybe you can pick
cotton in the fall. Maybe you can go on relief. Why don't you go on west to California?
There's work there, and it never gets cold. Why, you can reach out anywhere and pick
an orange. Why, there's always some kind of crop to work in. Why don't you go there?
And the owner men started their cars and rolled away.
The tenant men squatted down on their hams again to mark the dust with a stick, to
figure, to wonder. Their sunburned faces were dark, and their sun-whipped eyes were
light. The women moved cautiously out of the doorways toward their men, and the
children crept behind the women, cautiously, ready to run. The bigger boys squatted
beside their fathers, because that made them men. After a time the women asked, What
did he want?
And the men looked up for a second, and the smolder of pain was in their eyes. We
got to get off. A tractor and a superintendent. Like factories.
Where'll we go? the women asked.
We don't know. We don't know.
And the women went quickly, quietly back into the houses and herded the children
ahead of them. They knew that a man so hurt and so perplexed may turn in anger, even
on people he loves. They left the men alone to figure and to wonder in the dust. After a time perhaps the tenant man looked about—at the pump put in ten years
ago, with a goose-neck handle and iron flowers on the spout, at the chopping block
where a thousand chickens had been killed, at the hand plow lying in the shed, and the
patent crib hanging in the rafters over it.
The children crowded about the women in the houses. What we going to do, Ma?
Where we going to go?
The women said, We don't know, yet. Go out and play. But don't go near your
father. He might whale you if you go near him. And the women went on with the work,
but all the time they watched the men squatting in the dust—perplexed and figuring.
Tuesday, December 20, 2016
when you make a deal with somebody like donald trump, you make the assumption that the terms will be broken at the earliest possible moment (unless you're a fool, i suppose, but these foreign governments are not represented by fools). as such, you sign the deal with the explicit intent to maximize concessions, because you know the other party is untrustworthy. and, if you don't get the terms you want, you don't sign because you know they'll never live up to it, anyways.
it follows that the only people that are going to be interested in making deals with donald trump are entities looking to take advantage of him; there is no other reason to sign a deal with a dishonest actor.
it follows that the only people that are going to be interested in making deals with donald trump are entities looking to take advantage of him; there is no other reason to sign a deal with a dishonest actor.
it's absurd, but let's consider the premise - that donald trump will make good deals.
let me ask you this question: would you expect donald trump to keep his end of the bargain? so, why would you expect the chinese or the russians to?
suppose he makes a deal with the russians that lets the russians stay in syria. would putin expect trump to live up to his side of the deal? and, if not, why would he carry out his side of the deal?
i could accept the premise, however tentatively, if the deal maker were perceived as honest. reagan was a lunatic, but he was an honest dunce, too. trump cannot project that kind of trust and won't get it.
talk about "playing a hand", huh? the entire world knows his word is worthless.
if he makes any deals at all, they'll be terrible. there's no other possible outcome.
let me ask you this question: would you expect donald trump to keep his end of the bargain? so, why would you expect the chinese or the russians to?
suppose he makes a deal with the russians that lets the russians stay in syria. would putin expect trump to live up to his side of the deal? and, if not, why would he carry out his side of the deal?
i could accept the premise, however tentatively, if the deal maker were perceived as honest. reagan was a lunatic, but he was an honest dunce, too. trump cannot project that kind of trust and won't get it.
talk about "playing a hand", huh? the entire world knows his word is worthless.
if he makes any deals at all, they'll be terrible. there's no other possible outcome.
see, again: they're putting ivanka through the same fashion circuit that they put trudeau through. or. at least they're trying to. i understand there's been pushback. but, they're following the same algorithm.
there's been this underlying narrative that exposes the administration view that ivanka is to essentially be presented as a princess, and try to present herself as a kind of role model for young women. this seems to be an idea with some priority, for whatever calculated reasons. i think it remains to be seen whether she's presented as a princess diana or as a dagney taggart.
there's been this underlying narrative that exposes the administration view that ivanka is to essentially be presented as a princess, and try to present herself as a kind of role model for young women. this seems to be an idea with some priority, for whatever calculated reasons. i think it remains to be seen whether she's presented as a princess diana or as a dagney taggart.
is there a desire by political elites to import islam into the west? well, i'm not going to claim i can answer that question. but, i can explore the topic a little.
now, remember: i'm an anarchist. so, the nihilistic way i'm perceiving of capitalism is entirely normal to me. i'll warn you of somewhat of a culture shock. interpret it academically, if you must. i think it's empirical, but interpret the evidence as you may.
if you were a banking elite in the west, you might want to analyze the question of how best to maximize return on your slaves. i know that we are supposed to have defeated feudalism, but the class analysis presented in marx almost seems like a cover - he never addresses the remnant feudal class, the existing landowners, the banking elite. they are supposed to disappear in the bourgeois revolution. yet, they did not ever truly relinquish control, they just disappeared from public view. if you want to be that much more cynical, you could argue that they delegated the role of public service to the private sector.
see, something is happening, though: mechanization and automation is ending the era of capitalism. this bourgeois layer is becoming obsolete. questions of maximizing return on slaves, held through debt, are once again at the forefront of the centralized planning establishments, which operate free of oversight in the private sector. this is the equivalent of a scattering of landholders, warring amongst themselves; it is truly a new feudalism.
the bonds have morphed. where the marks of ownership were once held in ideas like language, nationalism and race, the new feudal elite wants control through brand identification. this includes less expensive branding, like that done by clothing wear companies, and more expensive branding, like that done by academic institutions and mortgage brokers.
so, if we are to have a new feudalism, we are going to need a new system of mind control to go along with it. what is the best way to maximize return on slaves?
while traditionalists may expect the western banking elite to adopt the traditional form of control, christianity, the truth is that christianity's effectiveness in control has long been suspect. christianity teaches evangelism, which is inherently aggressive. a thoroughly christianized culture is consequently prone to internal divisions, as different factions spread the truth in different ways, and come to quarrels with each other. christianity's track record is a lot of civil war. the argument has actually been advanced very convincingly over a long period, culminating in some pretty brutal attacks about a hundred years ago. even if christianity's empirical failings can be explained away, it is difficult to imagine how westerners could develop, at this point, a faith in something that they fundamentally know is false. it does not have credibility.
if the default return to christianity is to be rejected, then what are the other options? buddhism is a hard fit to the west, and isn't much of a success story, either. atheism is out of the question. what about islam?
islam has been more successful in maintaining a stable system of control. perhaps this is because it teaches submission, rather than evangelism. i haven't done the math, but i could imagine that it may be seen as a preferable alternative to the bankers, who wish to design a new system to maximize return on their slaves.
this may sound crude, but it's been done all through history. one example is when the russian king adopted christianity and invited in greek missionaries to design a new society. the russian aristocracy adopted the christian model for social control. and, the society that they built still exists.
ok, maybe it happened in autocratic states in the past, but surely this can't happen in a democracy? chances are that your democracy has an immigration department. that immigration department has a large budget, and spends vast sums on understanding how to adjust the demographics of the country to maximize profit. this is the bourgeois layer. it exists. it is not fantasy.
i know of at least one example of a government using policy in this manner, and it is the canadian government's policy of settling refugees and non-european immigrants in quebec. the explicit purpose of this policy was to weaken the strength of the quebecois nation, under fears that it may seek independence. these refugees and non-european immigrants would not claim allegiance to a nationalist concept of quebec as white and francophone, and this would tip support to the federalists. it's not the same thing, of course, but it demonstrates a willingness of the bourgeois layer to manipulate populations for their benefactors.
i'm not saying that this is something that is happening. i'm just pointing out that it can be explained, if it is. there is an underlying logic to it. and, that's what gives a good conspiracy theory legs.
now, remember: i'm an anarchist. so, the nihilistic way i'm perceiving of capitalism is entirely normal to me. i'll warn you of somewhat of a culture shock. interpret it academically, if you must. i think it's empirical, but interpret the evidence as you may.
if you were a banking elite in the west, you might want to analyze the question of how best to maximize return on your slaves. i know that we are supposed to have defeated feudalism, but the class analysis presented in marx almost seems like a cover - he never addresses the remnant feudal class, the existing landowners, the banking elite. they are supposed to disappear in the bourgeois revolution. yet, they did not ever truly relinquish control, they just disappeared from public view. if you want to be that much more cynical, you could argue that they delegated the role of public service to the private sector.
see, something is happening, though: mechanization and automation is ending the era of capitalism. this bourgeois layer is becoming obsolete. questions of maximizing return on slaves, held through debt, are once again at the forefront of the centralized planning establishments, which operate free of oversight in the private sector. this is the equivalent of a scattering of landholders, warring amongst themselves; it is truly a new feudalism.
the bonds have morphed. where the marks of ownership were once held in ideas like language, nationalism and race, the new feudal elite wants control through brand identification. this includes less expensive branding, like that done by clothing wear companies, and more expensive branding, like that done by academic institutions and mortgage brokers.
so, if we are to have a new feudalism, we are going to need a new system of mind control to go along with it. what is the best way to maximize return on slaves?
while traditionalists may expect the western banking elite to adopt the traditional form of control, christianity, the truth is that christianity's effectiveness in control has long been suspect. christianity teaches evangelism, which is inherently aggressive. a thoroughly christianized culture is consequently prone to internal divisions, as different factions spread the truth in different ways, and come to quarrels with each other. christianity's track record is a lot of civil war. the argument has actually been advanced very convincingly over a long period, culminating in some pretty brutal attacks about a hundred years ago. even if christianity's empirical failings can be explained away, it is difficult to imagine how westerners could develop, at this point, a faith in something that they fundamentally know is false. it does not have credibility.
if the default return to christianity is to be rejected, then what are the other options? buddhism is a hard fit to the west, and isn't much of a success story, either. atheism is out of the question. what about islam?
islam has been more successful in maintaining a stable system of control. perhaps this is because it teaches submission, rather than evangelism. i haven't done the math, but i could imagine that it may be seen as a preferable alternative to the bankers, who wish to design a new system to maximize return on their slaves.
this may sound crude, but it's been done all through history. one example is when the russian king adopted christianity and invited in greek missionaries to design a new society. the russian aristocracy adopted the christian model for social control. and, the society that they built still exists.
ok, maybe it happened in autocratic states in the past, but surely this can't happen in a democracy? chances are that your democracy has an immigration department. that immigration department has a large budget, and spends vast sums on understanding how to adjust the demographics of the country to maximize profit. this is the bourgeois layer. it exists. it is not fantasy.
i know of at least one example of a government using policy in this manner, and it is the canadian government's policy of settling refugees and non-european immigrants in quebec. the explicit purpose of this policy was to weaken the strength of the quebecois nation, under fears that it may seek independence. these refugees and non-european immigrants would not claim allegiance to a nationalist concept of quebec as white and francophone, and this would tip support to the federalists. it's not the same thing, of course, but it demonstrates a willingness of the bourgeois layer to manipulate populations for their benefactors.
i'm not saying that this is something that is happening. i'm just pointing out that it can be explained, if it is. there is an underlying logic to it. and, that's what gives a good conspiracy theory legs.
"Their stories deserve to be told, but the question is whether splitting the focus of this particular inquiry is a useful idea.
The statistics would suggest the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls got its name for a reason."
indeed. it may not be clear from outside the country, but the phenomenon appears to be policing related. that is, this is not an inquiry about domestic abuse. this is an inquiry about the disappearance of young (carrying aged) indigenous women. or, to use the word nobody uses: this is an inquiry to address concerns of the existence of a longstanding policy of extra-judicial genocide. and, activists will tell you this, even if the media won't.
this is the third try to do this. the first time, they actually got a database, but the government mysteriously pulled funding and then denied them access to their work. i've spoken to the women that lost hours of their time on this and they're convinced that the state shut it down to hide something.
it's not that there's much faith in the government to address this. i mean, the government may be doing this explicitly as a trust-raising exercise, but that's almost the worst motive possible. it's more that there's nothing else to do except wait for them to admit what's happened, and stop doing it.
it's anybody's guess when the information gets out. if anonymous is a real thing, guys, this is a real issue. we're taking about decades worth of suspicion, under multiple governments. but when this data finally gets released, it's going to be grisly and revolting.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/indigenous/coalition-expand-violence-against-indigenous-women-1.3896346
The statistics would suggest the National Inquiry into Missing and Murdered Indigenous Women and Girls got its name for a reason."
indeed. it may not be clear from outside the country, but the phenomenon appears to be policing related. that is, this is not an inquiry about domestic abuse. this is an inquiry about the disappearance of young (carrying aged) indigenous women. or, to use the word nobody uses: this is an inquiry to address concerns of the existence of a longstanding policy of extra-judicial genocide. and, activists will tell you this, even if the media won't.
this is the third try to do this. the first time, they actually got a database, but the government mysteriously pulled funding and then denied them access to their work. i've spoken to the women that lost hours of their time on this and they're convinced that the state shut it down to hide something.
it's not that there's much faith in the government to address this. i mean, the government may be doing this explicitly as a trust-raising exercise, but that's almost the worst motive possible. it's more that there's nothing else to do except wait for them to admit what's happened, and stop doing it.
it's anybody's guess when the information gets out. if anonymous is a real thing, guys, this is a real issue. we're taking about decades worth of suspicion, under multiple governments. but when this data finally gets released, it's going to be grisly and revolting.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/indigenous/coalition-expand-violence-against-indigenous-women-1.3896346
Monday, December 19, 2016
you don't have to believe my story. just look at the evidence.
the boomers gave us the staunchly anti-communist jfk in their youth, then picked nixon as a reaction to the civil rights movement, then found god and fell for a peanut farmer evangelical, then realized jesus really loves capitalism and got behind reagan to fight the evil empire, then made the mistake of listening to their kids in voting for clinton (they'll never do that again), then righted their error with bush and then...
then the fucking kids put a black guy in for a few years.
but, they're back now. and they're going to make america great again.
the boomers gave us the staunchly anti-communist jfk in their youth, then picked nixon as a reaction to the civil rights movement, then found god and fell for a peanut farmer evangelical, then realized jesus really loves capitalism and got behind reagan to fight the evil empire, then made the mistake of listening to their kids in voting for clinton (they'll never do that again), then righted their error with bush and then...
then the fucking kids put a black guy in for a few years.
but, they're back now. and they're going to make america great again.
i know i often sound like i'm a marxist, but i'm actually an anarchist. and, one of the things that anarchists tend to be fairly queasy about is this idea of vanguards.
i actually don't claim that vanguards are impossible, i just claim they are inherently counter-revolutionary, because they concentrate power into an exclusive zone. the best you can hope for with a vanguard is that it can carry through with reforms, but more realistically you're just looking at a renewal of the ruling class.
the vanguard movement of the 60s never made it anywhere near to challenging the ruling class. the few isolated attempts seem to have questionable intelligence contacts. consider john kerry's membership in cia frat house skull & bones, for example. it maybe got a little closer to power in canada, but it was implemented through a careful interpretation by the older generation, and hence was largely co-opted.
nonetheless, popular culture presents the middle of the century as a period controlled by this vanguard, which was in truth largely just a popular media phenomenon. i guess it's really a question of context, as if the media industry is presenting it's own history then it's going to narrate it through it's invented counter-culture. but, this is not an accurate people's history.
in truth, the people born after the war were born into a deeply traumatized culture. it is true that america suffered minimal casualties, in comparison to other nations like china and the soviet union, germany and even the uk. in canada, we lost a lot more people. regardless, the expectation that it should have been a lot worse carried on; the threat of nuclear war had every reason to feel real. today, it's hard to deny that a war did happen, through dozens of proxy conflicts, and that this war is as yet unresolved. it is the long war, the ancient cold war. this war may never resolve. it may even be extended into space.
if you were born early enough, and experienced a situation traumatic enough, then one of your earliest memories is no doubt of the red scare. this fear was broadcast through a crude but dangerously effective overwhelming of the senses. as terrible as it no doubt was, there was a need to ensure that people could be deployed against an enemy. the propaganda was essential. such is the nature of the ancient war.
this is what this generation was truly borne into, this overwhelming messaging to hate communism. for some, it was merely a slogan. others interpreted it through nationalism. others sought to internalize the messaging, and still others sought to rationalize it by exploring it intellectually. surely, there must be reasons to hate communism.
and, a small number rebelled and formed a failed vanguard. these ones had the most interesting stories.
i actually don't claim that vanguards are impossible, i just claim they are inherently counter-revolutionary, because they concentrate power into an exclusive zone. the best you can hope for with a vanguard is that it can carry through with reforms, but more realistically you're just looking at a renewal of the ruling class.
the vanguard movement of the 60s never made it anywhere near to challenging the ruling class. the few isolated attempts seem to have questionable intelligence contacts. consider john kerry's membership in cia frat house skull & bones, for example. it maybe got a little closer to power in canada, but it was implemented through a careful interpretation by the older generation, and hence was largely co-opted.
nonetheless, popular culture presents the middle of the century as a period controlled by this vanguard, which was in truth largely just a popular media phenomenon. i guess it's really a question of context, as if the media industry is presenting it's own history then it's going to narrate it through it's invented counter-culture. but, this is not an accurate people's history.
in truth, the people born after the war were born into a deeply traumatized culture. it is true that america suffered minimal casualties, in comparison to other nations like china and the soviet union, germany and even the uk. in canada, we lost a lot more people. regardless, the expectation that it should have been a lot worse carried on; the threat of nuclear war had every reason to feel real. today, it's hard to deny that a war did happen, through dozens of proxy conflicts, and that this war is as yet unresolved. it is the long war, the ancient cold war. this war may never resolve. it may even be extended into space.
if you were born early enough, and experienced a situation traumatic enough, then one of your earliest memories is no doubt of the red scare. this fear was broadcast through a crude but dangerously effective overwhelming of the senses. as terrible as it no doubt was, there was a need to ensure that people could be deployed against an enemy. the propaganda was essential. such is the nature of the ancient war.
this is what this generation was truly borne into, this overwhelming messaging to hate communism. for some, it was merely a slogan. others interpreted it through nationalism. others sought to internalize the messaging, and still others sought to rationalize it by exploring it intellectually. surely, there must be reasons to hate communism.
and, a small number rebelled and formed a failed vanguard. these ones had the most interesting stories.
Saturday, December 17, 2016
publishing inri025
while the main purpose of the inriclaimed project was to remove the vocals from the records, i always intended to put a few tracks away and mix the vocals back in for an ep. this was actually factored into the logic that had me build a sequence of singles, in the first place. while there were tracks that i ruled out, i ended up mixing vocals back into most of those that i considered, constructing enough for a standalone lp.
there is no other way to get all of the vocal remixes at once. this release consequently fills an important functional gap in the discography.
this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2016).
there is no other way to get all of the vocal remixes at once. this release consequently fills an important functional gap in the discography.
this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2016).
credits
released January 30, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, sampling, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, found sounds, noise generators, sound design, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, vocal relics, production
j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, sampling, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, found sounds, noise generators, sound design, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, vocal relics, production
while the
main purpose of the inriclaimed project was to remove the vocals from
the records, i always intended to put a few tracks away and mix the
vocals back in for an ep. this was actually factored into the logic that
had me build a sequence of singles, in the first place. while there
were tracks that i ruled out, i ended up mixing vocals back into most of
those that i considered, constructing enough for a standalone lp.
there is no other way to get all of the vocal remixes at once. this release consequently fills an important functional gap in the discography.
this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2016).
there is no other way to get all of the vocal remixes at once. this release consequently fills an important functional gap in the discography.
this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. as always, please use headphones.
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2015, 2016).
credits
released January 30, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, sampling, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, found sounds, noise generators, sound design, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, vocal relics, production
j - guitars, effects, bass, synth bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, sampling, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, found sounds, noise generators, sound design, digital wave editing, loops, vocals, vocal relics, production
finalizing inri024
when i sat
down to complete my discography in the fall of 2013, one of the first
problems i came up against was what to do with my first two proper
records, inri (jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inri-3) and inriched (jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched).
in some sense, these records were complete: they were early works, but
they were complete recordings and the records were sequenced with quite
a bit of detail. it would not be right to modify them in a structural
sense, as they were completed as they were when they were. however, the
mixes had been degraded rather substantially through compression and the
vocals had a lot of problems. further, i knew the source material was
incomplete, but did not actually check the master tapes to see how
incomplete they were.
i decided that the best thing to do was to try and remaster them using izotope. the result was noticeably "better", and they were released in that form. i also released a compilation of shorts that focused on instrumental sections as inricycled b. however, i had to make a lot of compromises to get to that point. further, the fact that i couldn't remove the vocals continued to bother me.
i finally got around to digitizing the tapes in december of 2014, as an archival step. i did not expect to be able to do anything with this material, but i wanted it digitized to prevent the tapes from deteriorating further. what i learned through this process was that the masters were far more complete than i thought. samples and continuity were missing, but i seem to have dumped most of the sequencing and a lot of the digital noise generation. this forced me to rethink what i was able to present. i decided that if i was going to go through these tracks and recreate them then i was going to do it comprehensively, which would mean completely recreating a number of the tracks. i decided that this would be a project better left for a later date.
by june of 2015, i had made it through the discography to the end of the second period and began finalizing the aleph sequence of dvd and bd flac/mp3 compilations. i decided that the only cohesive way to present period one is as a single disc, which meant i needed to address reconstructing the tracks immediately in order to close it.
the material was digitized via the exact same tascam four-track it was recorded on to, sent out track by track. however, the material was bounced heavily when it was recorded, which means the digitized tracks generally have multiple parts. the four tracks generally exist as follows:
1) an electronics track. drum machines, synths, sequencers, loops, noises.
2) a guitars track. there are usually several guitar parts in this one track.
3) a bass track, or a synth bass track.
4) a vocal track.
unfortunately, digitizing the tracks one by one left them out of sync at a rate of around a half a second per minute, but there is no clear pattern in how they are out of sync. shifting them back in sync was a time consuming process done in cubase by importing the remastered tracks and trying to find markers in the wave files, then using a sort of "newton's method" to compress or decompress the files until they lined up with the master. this issue was compounded by the fact that the initial masters were sometimes subtly out of time. once they were shifted back in sync, the tracks had to be equalized very carefully to try and isolate the constituent parts. for example, a track with a drum machine and a synth may have been split across a high and low shelf to isolate them in the mix. with the exception of this heavy equalization work (and amp simulation for the bass parts), these songs have not been modified from their original form - except to remove the vocals.
this release has rendered the previous inri009, inricycled b, as superfluous and consequently replaces it in the sequence. it has now been moved to inri022.
i am very happy to finally be able to present this material in a form that i would find listenable, today, as an adult. this has been a very long process. i hope you feel that the results were worth the effort put into it, periodically, over many years.
initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. finalized dec 17, 2016. lp004. as always, please use headphones.
* download only
i decided that the best thing to do was to try and remaster them using izotope. the result was noticeably "better", and they were released in that form. i also released a compilation of shorts that focused on instrumental sections as inricycled b. however, i had to make a lot of compromises to get to that point. further, the fact that i couldn't remove the vocals continued to bother me.
i finally got around to digitizing the tapes in december of 2014, as an archival step. i did not expect to be able to do anything with this material, but i wanted it digitized to prevent the tapes from deteriorating further. what i learned through this process was that the masters were far more complete than i thought. samples and continuity were missing, but i seem to have dumped most of the sequencing and a lot of the digital noise generation. this forced me to rethink what i was able to present. i decided that if i was going to go through these tracks and recreate them then i was going to do it comprehensively, which would mean completely recreating a number of the tracks. i decided that this would be a project better left for a later date.
by june of 2015, i had made it through the discography to the end of the second period and began finalizing the aleph sequence of dvd and bd flac/mp3 compilations. i decided that the only cohesive way to present period one is as a single disc, which meant i needed to address reconstructing the tracks immediately in order to close it.
the material was digitized via the exact same tascam four-track it was recorded on to, sent out track by track. however, the material was bounced heavily when it was recorded, which means the digitized tracks generally have multiple parts. the four tracks generally exist as follows:
1) an electronics track. drum machines, synths, sequencers, loops, noises.
2) a guitars track. there are usually several guitar parts in this one track.
3) a bass track, or a synth bass track.
4) a vocal track.
unfortunately, digitizing the tracks one by one left them out of sync at a rate of around a half a second per minute, but there is no clear pattern in how they are out of sync. shifting them back in sync was a time consuming process done in cubase by importing the remastered tracks and trying to find markers in the wave files, then using a sort of "newton's method" to compress or decompress the files until they lined up with the master. this issue was compounded by the fact that the initial masters were sometimes subtly out of time. once they were shifted back in sync, the tracks had to be equalized very carefully to try and isolate the constituent parts. for example, a track with a drum machine and a synth may have been split across a high and low shelf to isolate them in the mix. with the exception of this heavy equalization work (and amp simulation for the bass parts), these songs have not been modified from their original form - except to remove the vocals.
this release has rendered the previous inri009, inricycled b, as superfluous and consequently replaces it in the sequence. it has now been moved to inri022.
i am very happy to finally be able to present this material in a form that i would find listenable, today, as an adult. this has been a very long process. i hope you feel that the results were worth the effort put into it, periodically, over many years.
initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. finalized dec 17, 2016. lp004. as always, please use headphones.
* download only
credits
released January 29, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, synthesizers, sequencers, found sounds, noise generators, vocal relics, digital wave editing, sampling, production.
j - guitars, effects, bass, drum programming, synthesizers, sequencers, found sounds, noise generators, vocal relics, digital wave editing, sampling, production.
republishing inri023
when i sat
down in late 2013, my intent was just to collect all of the tracks that
were leftover. however, it became apparent quickly that i had a pile of
these weird, glitchy remixes that i meant to do something with, but
just never did anything with. they seemed to form an idea of their own,
so i split them off into this inrimixed ep.
i feel that this decision was a good one, and that this collection has now become an important part of the discography - so much so that i am adding some tracks to it that were initially overlooked and then promoting it to 'remix lp'.
i need to be clear that this is a remix lp full of damaged, glitchy mixes. these tracks were left unscathed by the great remastering of 2013-2016. many of them are sourced from 112 kbps mp3 files, or worse. some are sourced from mono. i'm presenting the artifacts in the compression as a part of the glitch aesthetic. but, these are truly sad excuses for waveforms.
example: the cover art is actually the waveform for track 2; similarities to the mirror reflection of the cover of any seminal eponymous records from the late 60s are purely coincidental. waveforms like that do not bear any resemblance to any physical reality whatsoever. they fail, as waveforms. yet, these are the waveforms we have before us, and these are the sounds that such absurd waveforms make.
i suppose that the reason i have all of these glitchy mixes from the period is that i was planning on making a glitch lp. it's not that i specifically recall that as being wrong, so much as it is that my memories of it being right are not of clear strength. i sort of remember wanting to make a glitch record. the evidence exists that i wanted to make a glitch record. now i have the glitch record that it seems like i always wanted to make. at the least, my current self very much likes the idea that i released a glitch record in 1999.
constructed over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. the first two tracks were corrected to stereo in sept, 2014. the last two tracks were added for re-release as a remix lp in dec, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
i feel that this decision was a good one, and that this collection has now become an important part of the discography - so much so that i am adding some tracks to it that were initially overlooked and then promoting it to 'remix lp'.
i need to be clear that this is a remix lp full of damaged, glitchy mixes. these tracks were left unscathed by the great remastering of 2013-2016. many of them are sourced from 112 kbps mp3 files, or worse. some are sourced from mono. i'm presenting the artifacts in the compression as a part of the glitch aesthetic. but, these are truly sad excuses for waveforms.
example: the cover art is actually the waveform for track 2; similarities to the mirror reflection of the cover of any seminal eponymous records from the late 60s are purely coincidental. waveforms like that do not bear any resemblance to any physical reality whatsoever. they fail, as waveforms. yet, these are the waveforms we have before us, and these are the sounds that such absurd waveforms make.
i suppose that the reason i have all of these glitchy mixes from the period is that i was planning on making a glitch lp. it's not that i specifically recall that as being wrong, so much as it is that my memories of it being right are not of clear strength. i sort of remember wanting to make a glitch record. the evidence exists that i wanted to make a glitch record. now i have the glitch record that it seems like i always wanted to make. at the least, my current self very much likes the idea that i released a glitch record in 1999.
constructed over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. the first two tracks were corrected to stereo in sept, 2014. the last two tracks were added for re-release as a remix lp in dec, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
credits
released January 28, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, piano, drum programming, sequencing, vocals, cool edit synthesis, noise generators, found sounds, sampling, loops, sound design, digital wave editing, digital effects processing, noise reduction, a broken tape deck, production.
j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, piano, drum programming, sequencing, vocals, cool edit synthesis, noise generators, found sounds, sampling, loops, sound design, digital wave editing, digital effects processing, noise reduction, a broken tape deck, production.
merging inri022 with inricycled b and closing inri022
this is a collection of rejected tracks from the inri/inriched period. it's just chronologically sequenced. download only.
recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized on december 16, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
this release will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized on december 16, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
this release will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
credits
released January 27, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, vocoders, octavers, drum programming, sequencers, noise generators, sound design, vocals, found sounds, cool edit synthesis, digital wave editing, loops, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, production.
j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, vocoders, octavers, drum programming, sequencers, noise generators, sound design, vocals, found sounds, cool edit synthesis, digital wave editing, loops, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, production.
Friday, December 16, 2016
the second
record was always a...second record. see, the phenomenon of the
underperforming second record is actually well-established. i just think
it's worth thinking about what a second record actually is, in order to
understand this.
a second record is necessarily the tracks that did not make it on to the first record.
i actually tried to resist this, but i was swayed by the argument (with myself) that the tracks would otherwise be lost because i was shifting in a direction away from the electro-grunge sound, and i would eventually go back and compile them anyways. i had enough raw sound for a full record, so i released a full record.
something that is common of second records is that they are uneven because the tracks are recorded at differing levels of attention. demos that were forgotten tend to get promoted without cause, while the tracks that show evidence of attention tend to seem overproduced, in comparison. in recompleting this record, i've paid attention to the uneven nature that the tracks initially existed in and taken an effort to close the gap where it was needed.
i've also removed two tracks from the initial recording due to a combination of technical and artistic incompatibilities.
while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles, or behind altogether. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.
written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized on dec 15, 2016. this is my second official record; as always, please use headphones.
the original, unaltered files are also available (along with the original 1999 cd sequence, the failed 2013 remasters and the final reconstructions) as 56-112 kbps mp3s, as i found them, on inriℵ2:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
...& inriℵ4:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
a second record is necessarily the tracks that did not make it on to the first record.
i actually tried to resist this, but i was swayed by the argument (with myself) that the tracks would otherwise be lost because i was shifting in a direction away from the electro-grunge sound, and i would eventually go back and compile them anyways. i had enough raw sound for a full record, so i released a full record.
something that is common of second records is that they are uneven because the tracks are recorded at differing levels of attention. demos that were forgotten tend to get promoted without cause, while the tracks that show evidence of attention tend to seem overproduced, in comparison. in recompleting this record, i've paid attention to the uneven nature that the tracks initially existed in and taken an effort to close the gap where it was needed.
i've also removed two tracks from the initial recording due to a combination of technical and artistic incompatibilities.
while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles, or behind altogether. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.
written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized on dec 15, 2016. this is my second official record; as always, please use headphones.
the original, unaltered files are also available (along with the original 1999 cd sequence, the failed 2013 remasters and the final reconstructions) as 56-112 kbps mp3s, as i found them, on inriℵ2:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
...& inriℵ4:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
credits
released January 25, 1999
j - guitar, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, piano, octavers, drum programming, sequencing, found sound (paper crumpling), noise generators, sound design, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, mic noises, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, chance, production.
j - guitar, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, piano, octavers, drum programming, sequencing, found sound (paper crumpling), noise generators, sound design, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, mic noises, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, chance, production.
publishing inri021
the second record was always a...second record. see, the phenomenon of the underperforming second record is actually well-established. i just think it's worth thinking about what a second record actually is, in order to understand this.
a second record is necessarily the tracks that did not make it on to the first record.
i actually tried to resist this, but i was swayed by the argument (with myself) that the tracks would otherwise be lost because i was shifting in a direction away from the electro-grunge sound, and i would eventually go back and compile them anyways. i had enough raw sound for a full record, so i released a full record.
something that is common of second records is that they are uneven because the tracks are recorded at differing levels of attention. demos that were forgotten tend to get promoted without cause, while the tracks that show evidence of attention tend to seem overproduced, in comparison. in recompleting this record, i've paid attention to the uneven nature that the tracks initially existed in and taken an effort to close the gap where it was needed.
i've also removed two tracks from the initial recording due to a combination of technical and artistic incompatibilities.
while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles, or behind altogether. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.
written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized on dec 15, 2016. this is my second official record; as always, please use headphones.
the original, unaltered files are also available (along with the original 1999 cd sequence, the failed 2013 remasters and the final reconstructions) as 56-112 kbps mp3s, as i found them, on inriℵ2:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
...& inriℵ4:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
a second record is necessarily the tracks that did not make it on to the first record.
i actually tried to resist this, but i was swayed by the argument (with myself) that the tracks would otherwise be lost because i was shifting in a direction away from the electro-grunge sound, and i would eventually go back and compile them anyways. i had enough raw sound for a full record, so i released a full record.
something that is common of second records is that they are uneven because the tracks are recorded at differing levels of attention. demos that were forgotten tend to get promoted without cause, while the tracks that show evidence of attention tend to seem overproduced, in comparison. in recompleting this record, i've paid attention to the uneven nature that the tracks initially existed in and taken an effort to close the gap where it was needed.
i've also removed two tracks from the initial recording due to a combination of technical and artistic incompatibilities.
while most of these songs have defined concepts underlying them, i have ejected these concepts from the final recording and left them in a series of singles, or behind altogether. i would prefer that this album be understood solely as the instrumental recording of electronic music that i am presenting it as.
written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized on dec 15, 2016. this is my second official record; as always, please use headphones.
the original, unaltered files are also available (along with the original 1999 cd sequence, the failed 2013 remasters and the final reconstructions) as 56-112 kbps mp3s, as i found them, on inriℵ2:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
...& inriℵ4:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1997, 1998, 2013, 2014, 2015, 2016).
credits
released January 25, 1999
j - guitar, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, piano, octavers, drum programming, sequencing, found sound (paper crumpling), noise generators, sound design, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, mic noises, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, chance, production.
j - guitar, effects, bass, bass synth, synthesizers, piano, octavers, drum programming, sequencing, found sound (paper crumpling), noise generators, sound design, cool edit synthesis, light-wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, sampling, mic noises, digital wave editing, loops, a broken tape deck, chance, production.
you know what i think that the truly sad part about people that continue to follow an end-times interpretation of the messianic religions is? it's that the predictions were actually largely accurate. the events unfolded thousands of years ago...
if you existed in the middle east at really any point in it's history, you had to see that you were at a conflict point where east meets west. it had happened. the persians marched west, and the greeks and romans marched east. and, before that the assyrians marched into egypt, and before that the egyptians marched into asia. there would have to be a point of cataclysm, eventually, where east and west met into a single, epic struggle.
and, it happened. it happened at the end of the long war between rome and persia, which finally broke down in the seventh century. rome finally defeated persia. but, that defeat took so much out of itself that it was a casualty of it's own victory. when the epic struggle between east and west did finally happen, neither survived the pyrrhic victory: the arabs, instead, took advantage of the power vacuum and aggressively conquered the near east.
so, what do you gain by taking an insightful geopolitical analysis of the near east from thousands of years ago and applying it to a different culture on a different continent? i mean, at least be a mormon. no. really. being a mormon makes more sense because at least it's local.
here's an interesting fact: moscow is actually to the west of jerusalem. and the russians are actually the cultural heirs to constantinople, meaning they're actually the greeks - the west - in the biblical narrative. and america is impossible to even imagine in any relevant context, except maybe as a mythical atlantis.
these texts have historical value. sure. and deciphering them in the context of real history is actually quite fascinating. they show real insight. but, to take them entirely out of context and then hold to them as predictive documents for a future they could have never imagined? nobody that wrote these texts wanted you to do that. that's madness.
if you existed in the middle east at really any point in it's history, you had to see that you were at a conflict point where east meets west. it had happened. the persians marched west, and the greeks and romans marched east. and, before that the assyrians marched into egypt, and before that the egyptians marched into asia. there would have to be a point of cataclysm, eventually, where east and west met into a single, epic struggle.
and, it happened. it happened at the end of the long war between rome and persia, which finally broke down in the seventh century. rome finally defeated persia. but, that defeat took so much out of itself that it was a casualty of it's own victory. when the epic struggle between east and west did finally happen, neither survived the pyrrhic victory: the arabs, instead, took advantage of the power vacuum and aggressively conquered the near east.
so, what do you gain by taking an insightful geopolitical analysis of the near east from thousands of years ago and applying it to a different culture on a different continent? i mean, at least be a mormon. no. really. being a mormon makes more sense because at least it's local.
here's an interesting fact: moscow is actually to the west of jerusalem. and the russians are actually the cultural heirs to constantinople, meaning they're actually the greeks - the west - in the biblical narrative. and america is impossible to even imagine in any relevant context, except maybe as a mythical atlantis.
these texts have historical value. sure. and deciphering them in the context of real history is actually quite fascinating. they show real insight. but, to take them entirely out of context and then hold to them as predictive documents for a future they could have never imagined? nobody that wrote these texts wanted you to do that. that's madness.
Thursday, December 15, 2016
it's really amazing to watch all these brainwashed democrats instantly
warm to cia news outlets once they started broadcasting propaganda they
agree with.
when you find yourself in agreement with shep smith, you might want to take a step back and wonder if you're being played. because that guy just reads memos straight from head office.
when you find yourself in agreement with shep smith, you might want to take a step back and wonder if you're being played. because that guy just reads memos straight from head office.
Wednesday, December 14, 2016
some nerds actually prefer the company of jocks to the company of geeks. i might categorize myself that way, although i don't really enjoy the company of either. i mean, it depends. some (most?) jocks are just impossibly stupid. but, your average geek is fucking shallow and flaky. on average, i think that the negative qualities of jocks are easier to deal with than the negative qualities of geeks.
of course, nerds are preferable. but there aren't a lot of us out there.
trump will find a nerd or two that will hang out with him.
of course, nerds are preferable. but there aren't a lot of us out there.
trump will find a nerd or two that will hang out with him.
i intended
this release to be a short single to house a vocal mix of this track,
the reconstructed album mix and all of the historical versions. but, it
really came back to life on me when i started mixing it. as i was mixing
the track, i was cognizant of the fact that it is both the last release
in this string of reconstructed singles and the oldest song that i have
a recording of. i felt myself coming full circle.
something that i think is actually unique to this track is that i wrote it while i was still living with my mom. that dates the track to when i was in grade 7, that is to 1993 or 1994. i was twelve or thirteen years old at the time and the lyrics very much reflect it. above all else, i felt it imperative that i maintain the innocence of the track.
the track documents a routine that was actually very formative on how i perceive the world around me. when i was even younger, around ten or so, there was a nightly routine around sunset where my mom would yell at me to go lock the door before the boogeyman came in to get us. but, she'd be a little dramatic about it. kind of a...
mom: shhh. do you hear that?
me: it's getting dark, maybe it's...
mom: it's the boogeyman! go run and lock the door before he comes in and gets us!
so, i'd get up and run to the front door and lock it, peering out to make sure there was nobody there.
i don't think i ever thought a boogeyman existed, but i didn't grow up in an affluent neighbourhood and i was well aware of the dangers of straying too far from home after night. i didn't understand much about drugs or gangs at the time, i just knew that sometimes people died of gunshot wounds outside and didn't want to be stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. it was legitimately important to block off entrance points.
the run had a bit of a rush of adrenaline-based fear to it, because the hallway was dark. getting to the door and back could at times be a little scary.
the fear was very real; i can still feel it, if i remember back to it. it would not begin to rise until i exited the living room, but would then escalate slowly until i got to the door - at which point it would suddenly spike. this would give me an extra boost of adrenaline to get back into the living room with. it was *always* the run back into the living room that was the scariest, because you never knew if they beat you to the door, and were just waiting for you to lock yourself in and then jump on you when you're cornered.
i think that this daily experience probably underlies my heightened level of caution towards risk. i don't reject risk; i've taken a lot of risks over my life. but, i assess it pretty brutally. i seek out worst case scenarios; i plan around assumptions of failure, to ensure necessities are never interrupted for. what it taught me is that risk must be a consequence of security, and not in antagonism with it.
the original demo version, recorded in 1996, is really the only track from the first cassette that can be salvaged without alteration, however accidentally. i was trying to create an eerie lullabye, a kind of banshee song. through the cumulative process of endless modifications over many months, it ended up sounding like an unfinished progressive rock song - or perhaps a campfire song for existential nihilists. but, what i captured without realizing it at the time was that i sound like the child that i was. for that reason, i consider this version of the track to capture it's essence more accurately than the 1998 or 1999 versions did. i wanted to recapture that essence and re-apply it to the final version.
perhaps what happened with the initial recreation is understandable, in the context of what i've discovered about the track, in hindsight. at the end of 1997, i got a new four-track recorder for christmas. i had spent the entire fall programming on an ry30 that i was given to compensate for the loss of the drum kit. when you get new gear, it's first use is always experimental; i used this track as my training wheels in breaking in the new setup, and largely discarded the outcome.
the track got dropped because i'd come to hate it because i thought of it as cutesy and childish. isn't that what happens when we enter our late teens? if i look back on the initial recording and claim it's essence is intrinsically connected with my age at the time of it's recording, does it not follow that i must have despised it as i sought to define myself in opposition to my child-self?
indeed, it specifically was the vocals that i hated. so, i resolved to ruin them through deadpan and atonality and guitar effects. but, once i had done so, i did not like the outcome and rejected the track for the first record. when i recorded the vocals a second time in early 1999 to complete it for my second record, i merely toned down the concept of annihilating the cutesiness in the vocal delivery, leaving a result that is no more engaged and only arguably preferable.
i may have been experimenting with the gear when i recorded the parts, but the tapes digitized very well for the reconstruction project in 2015. there's enough space in the track to allow the modern guitar & bass & synth plugins to function almost on a clean recording. the remix process allowed me to rediscover the eerie, psychedelic nature of the track and take it closer to it's intended conclusion of constructing a feeling of empty dread and uncertainty.
on sequencing the instrumental remaster of the second record in late 2016, i decided that there was an excess of silence at the beginning of the track that needed to be cut off in order to place it into the proper flow of the record. so, i opened it up in cubase and cut the appropriate section of silence out. i was then distracted by something, and returned to the project unable to remember if i had actually cut the silence or not. in order to check, i re-imported the file. the logic is that if they are out of phase then the cut was made. this was the case, but i immediately made the connection, on playback, to the echo being representative of coming footsteps and sought to expand the idea further.
this resulted in a series of remixes that take the track increasingly out of phase, along with increasing adornments, and then climax in manipulating the speed of the tape as a supplementary effect to increase the disorientation. these were arranged into a sequence of increasing, and then decreasing, complexity.
before i went off on this tangent, i was planning on reconstructing a vocal mix with the reconstruction from tape as the base soundscape. but, all of a sudden, i now had a dozen versions to pick from. i decided that the best thing to do was to experiment. this led to me mixing several of the remixes together, which is the final instrumental out for the record.
the vocal recordings i had from 1997 were unusable, so i had to redo them. but, this was an opportunity to regain the essence of the track by reintroducing a sense of innocence to the oppressive electronics and elusive guitars. my initial plan was to use a solitary voice, but i found that it did not mix well into the same frequency range as the interlock of stereo-spectrum guitars, so i instead recorded the track multiple times and set each recording to a different space in the spectrum. this creates a natural "chorus" effect on playback that blurs the frequency and better allows the vocals to compete with the guitars. i then thickened the chorus further by pitch-shifting it up an octave, which brought in the child-like innocence that i sought for the vocals.
as i was redoing the vocal part, i rejected the track a final time. at 35, why was i singing vocals i wrote when i was 12? is this clinical? but, i followed through with it to close the circle. inri is forever done.
initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. finalized on dec 13, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
the album version of this track appears on my second record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched
this release is compiled in the following places:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2015, 2016).
*download only
something that i think is actually unique to this track is that i wrote it while i was still living with my mom. that dates the track to when i was in grade 7, that is to 1993 or 1994. i was twelve or thirteen years old at the time and the lyrics very much reflect it. above all else, i felt it imperative that i maintain the innocence of the track.
the track documents a routine that was actually very formative on how i perceive the world around me. when i was even younger, around ten or so, there was a nightly routine around sunset where my mom would yell at me to go lock the door before the boogeyman came in to get us. but, she'd be a little dramatic about it. kind of a...
mom: shhh. do you hear that?
me: it's getting dark, maybe it's...
mom: it's the boogeyman! go run and lock the door before he comes in and gets us!
so, i'd get up and run to the front door and lock it, peering out to make sure there was nobody there.
i don't think i ever thought a boogeyman existed, but i didn't grow up in an affluent neighbourhood and i was well aware of the dangers of straying too far from home after night. i didn't understand much about drugs or gangs at the time, i just knew that sometimes people died of gunshot wounds outside and didn't want to be stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. it was legitimately important to block off entrance points.
the run had a bit of a rush of adrenaline-based fear to it, because the hallway was dark. getting to the door and back could at times be a little scary.
the fear was very real; i can still feel it, if i remember back to it. it would not begin to rise until i exited the living room, but would then escalate slowly until i got to the door - at which point it would suddenly spike. this would give me an extra boost of adrenaline to get back into the living room with. it was *always* the run back into the living room that was the scariest, because you never knew if they beat you to the door, and were just waiting for you to lock yourself in and then jump on you when you're cornered.
i think that this daily experience probably underlies my heightened level of caution towards risk. i don't reject risk; i've taken a lot of risks over my life. but, i assess it pretty brutally. i seek out worst case scenarios; i plan around assumptions of failure, to ensure necessities are never interrupted for. what it taught me is that risk must be a consequence of security, and not in antagonism with it.
the original demo version, recorded in 1996, is really the only track from the first cassette that can be salvaged without alteration, however accidentally. i was trying to create an eerie lullabye, a kind of banshee song. through the cumulative process of endless modifications over many months, it ended up sounding like an unfinished progressive rock song - or perhaps a campfire song for existential nihilists. but, what i captured without realizing it at the time was that i sound like the child that i was. for that reason, i consider this version of the track to capture it's essence more accurately than the 1998 or 1999 versions did. i wanted to recapture that essence and re-apply it to the final version.
perhaps what happened with the initial recreation is understandable, in the context of what i've discovered about the track, in hindsight. at the end of 1997, i got a new four-track recorder for christmas. i had spent the entire fall programming on an ry30 that i was given to compensate for the loss of the drum kit. when you get new gear, it's first use is always experimental; i used this track as my training wheels in breaking in the new setup, and largely discarded the outcome.
the track got dropped because i'd come to hate it because i thought of it as cutesy and childish. isn't that what happens when we enter our late teens? if i look back on the initial recording and claim it's essence is intrinsically connected with my age at the time of it's recording, does it not follow that i must have despised it as i sought to define myself in opposition to my child-self?
indeed, it specifically was the vocals that i hated. so, i resolved to ruin them through deadpan and atonality and guitar effects. but, once i had done so, i did not like the outcome and rejected the track for the first record. when i recorded the vocals a second time in early 1999 to complete it for my second record, i merely toned down the concept of annihilating the cutesiness in the vocal delivery, leaving a result that is no more engaged and only arguably preferable.
i may have been experimenting with the gear when i recorded the parts, but the tapes digitized very well for the reconstruction project in 2015. there's enough space in the track to allow the modern guitar & bass & synth plugins to function almost on a clean recording. the remix process allowed me to rediscover the eerie, psychedelic nature of the track and take it closer to it's intended conclusion of constructing a feeling of empty dread and uncertainty.
on sequencing the instrumental remaster of the second record in late 2016, i decided that there was an excess of silence at the beginning of the track that needed to be cut off in order to place it into the proper flow of the record. so, i opened it up in cubase and cut the appropriate section of silence out. i was then distracted by something, and returned to the project unable to remember if i had actually cut the silence or not. in order to check, i re-imported the file. the logic is that if they are out of phase then the cut was made. this was the case, but i immediately made the connection, on playback, to the echo being representative of coming footsteps and sought to expand the idea further.
this resulted in a series of remixes that take the track increasingly out of phase, along with increasing adornments, and then climax in manipulating the speed of the tape as a supplementary effect to increase the disorientation. these were arranged into a sequence of increasing, and then decreasing, complexity.
before i went off on this tangent, i was planning on reconstructing a vocal mix with the reconstruction from tape as the base soundscape. but, all of a sudden, i now had a dozen versions to pick from. i decided that the best thing to do was to experiment. this led to me mixing several of the remixes together, which is the final instrumental out for the record.
the vocal recordings i had from 1997 were unusable, so i had to redo them. but, this was an opportunity to regain the essence of the track by reintroducing a sense of innocence to the oppressive electronics and elusive guitars. my initial plan was to use a solitary voice, but i found that it did not mix well into the same frequency range as the interlock of stereo-spectrum guitars, so i instead recorded the track multiple times and set each recording to a different space in the spectrum. this creates a natural "chorus" effect on playback that blurs the frequency and better allows the vocals to compete with the guitars. i then thickened the chorus further by pitch-shifting it up an octave, which brought in the child-like innocence that i sought for the vocals.
as i was redoing the vocal part, i rejected the track a final time. at 35, why was i singing vocals i wrote when i was 12? is this clinical? but, i followed through with it to close the circle. inri is forever done.
initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. finalized on dec 13, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
the album version of this track appears on my second record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched
this release is compiled in the following places:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2015, 2016).
*download only
credits
released January 15, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, pick scrapes, drum kit, drum programming, digital wave editing, vocals, vocal relics, production
j - guitars, effects, bass, pick scrapes, drum kit, drum programming, digital wave editing, vocals, vocal relics, production
publishing inri020
i intended this release to be a short single to house a vocal mix of this track, the reconstructed album mix and all of the historical versions. but, it really came back to life on me when i started mixing it. as i was mixing the track, i was cognizant of the fact that it is both the last release in this string of reconstructed singles and the oldest song that i have a recording of. i felt myself coming full circle.
something that i think is actually unique to this track is that i wrote it while i was still living with my mom. that dates the track to when i was in grade 7, that is to 1993 or 1994. i was twelve or thirteen years old at the time and the lyrics very much reflect it. above all else, i felt it imperative that i maintain the innocence of the track.
the track documents a routine that was actually very formative on how i perceive the world around me. when i was even younger, around ten or so, there was a nightly routine around sunset where my mom would yell at me to go lock the door before the boogeyman came in to get us. but, she'd be a little dramatic about it. kind of a...
mom: shhh. do you hear that?
me: it's getting dark, maybe it's...
mom: it's the boogeyman! go run and lock the door before he comes in and gets us!
so, i'd get up and run to the front door and lock it, peering out to make sure there was nobody there.
i don't think i ever thought a boogeyman existed, but i didn't grow up in an affluent neighbourhood and i was well aware of the dangers of straying too far from home after night. i didn't understand much about drugs or gangs at the time, i just knew that sometimes people died of gunshot wounds outside and didn't want to be stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. it was legitimately important to block off entrance points.
the run had a bit of a rush of adrenaline-based fear to it, because the hallway was dark. getting to the door and back could at times be a little scary.
the fear was very real; i can still feel it, if i remember back to it. it would not begin to rise until i exited the living room, but would then escalate slowly until i got to the door - at which point it would suddenly spike. this would give me an extra boost of adrenaline to get back into the living room with. it was *always* the run back into the living room that was the scariest, because you never knew if they beat you to the door, and were just waiting for you to lock yourself in and then jump on you when you're cornered.
i think that this daily experience probably underlies my heightened level of caution towards risk. i don't reject risk; i've taken a lot of risks over my life. but, i assess it pretty brutally. i seek out worst case scenarios; i plan around assumptions of failure, to ensure necessities are never interrupted for. what it taught me is that risk must be a consequence of security, and not in antagonism with it.
the original demo version, recorded in 1996, is really the only track from the first cassette that can be salvaged without alteration, however accidentally. i was trying to create an eerie lullabye, a kind of banshee song. through the cumulative process of endless modifications over many months, it ended up sounding like an unfinished progressive rock song - or perhaps a campfire song for existential nihilists. but, what i captured without realizing it at the time was that i sound like the child that i was. for that reason, i consider this version of the track to capture it's essence more accurately than the 1998 or 1999 versions did. i wanted to recapture that essence and re-apply it to the final version.
perhaps what happened with the initial recreation is understandable, in the context of what i've discovered about the track, in hindsight. at the end of 1997, i got a new four-track recorder for christmas. i had spent the entire fall programming on an ry30 that i was given to compensate for the loss of the drum kit. when you get new gear, it's first use is always experimental; i used this track as my training wheels in breaking in the new setup, and largely discarded the outcome.
the track got dropped because i'd come to hate it because i thought of it as cutesy and childish. isn't that what happens when we enter our late teens? if i look back on the initial recording and claim it's essence is intrinsically connected with my age at the time of it's recording, does it not follow that i must have despised it as i sought to define myself in opposition to my child-self?
indeed, it specifically was the vocals that i hated. so, i resolved to ruin them through deadpan and atonality and guitar effects. but, once i had done so, i did not like the outcome and rejected the track for the first record. when i recorded the vocals a second time in early 1999 to complete it for my second record, i merely toned down the concept of annihilating the cutesiness in the vocal delivery, leaving a result that is no more engaged and only arguably preferable.
i may have been experimenting with the gear when i recorded the parts, but the tapes digitized very well for the reconstruction project in 2015. there's enough space in the track to allow the modern guitar & bass & synth plugins to function almost on a clean recording. the remix process allowed me to rediscover the eerie, psychedelic nature of the track and take it closer to it's intended conclusion of constructing a feeling of empty dread and uncertainty.
on sequencing the instrumental remaster of the second record in late 2016, i decided that there was an excess of silence at the beginning of the track that needed to be cut off in order to place it into the proper flow of the record. so, i opened it up in cubase and cut the appropriate section of silence out. i was then distracted by something, and returned to the project unable to remember if i had actually cut the silence or not. in order to check, i re-imported the file. the logic is that if they are out of phase then the cut was made. this was the case, but i immediately made the connection, on playback, to the echo being representative of coming footsteps and sought to expand the idea further.
this resulted in a series of remixes that take the track increasingly out of phase, along with increasing adornments, and then climax in manipulating the speed of the tape as a supplementary effect to increase the disorientation. these were arranged into a sequence of increasing, and then decreasing, complexity.
before i went off on this tangent, i was planning on reconstructing a vocal mix with the reconstruction from tape as the base soundscape. but, all of a sudden, i now had a dozen versions to pick from. i decided that the best thing to do was to experiment. this led to me mixing several of the remixes together, which is the final instrumental out for the record.
the vocal recordings i had from 1997 were unusable, so i had to redo them. but, this was an opportunity to regain the essence of the track by reintroducing a sense of innocence to the oppressive electronics and elusive guitars. my initial plan was to use a solitary voice, but i found that it did not mix well into the same frequency range as the interlock of stereo-spectrum guitars, so i instead recorded the track multiple times and set each recording to a different space in the spectrum. this creates a natural "chorus" effect on playback that blurs the frequency and better allows the vocals to compete with the guitars. i then thickened the chorus further by pitch-shifting it up an octave, which brought in the child-like innocence that i sought for the vocals.
as i was redoing the vocal part, i rejected the track a final time. at 35, why was i singing vocals i wrote when i was 12? is this clinical? but, i followed through with it to close the circle. inri is forever done.
initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. finalized on dec 13, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
the album version of this track appears on my second record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched
this release is compiled in the following places:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2015, 2016).
*download only
something that i think is actually unique to this track is that i wrote it while i was still living with my mom. that dates the track to when i was in grade 7, that is to 1993 or 1994. i was twelve or thirteen years old at the time and the lyrics very much reflect it. above all else, i felt it imperative that i maintain the innocence of the track.
the track documents a routine that was actually very formative on how i perceive the world around me. when i was even younger, around ten or so, there was a nightly routine around sunset where my mom would yell at me to go lock the door before the boogeyman came in to get us. but, she'd be a little dramatic about it. kind of a...
mom: shhh. do you hear that?
me: it's getting dark, maybe it's...
mom: it's the boogeyman! go run and lock the door before he comes in and gets us!
so, i'd get up and run to the front door and lock it, peering out to make sure there was nobody there.
i don't think i ever thought a boogeyman existed, but i didn't grow up in an affluent neighbourhood and i was well aware of the dangers of straying too far from home after night. i didn't understand much about drugs or gangs at the time, i just knew that sometimes people died of gunshot wounds outside and didn't want to be stuck in the wrong place at the wrong time. it was legitimately important to block off entrance points.
the run had a bit of a rush of adrenaline-based fear to it, because the hallway was dark. getting to the door and back could at times be a little scary.
the fear was very real; i can still feel it, if i remember back to it. it would not begin to rise until i exited the living room, but would then escalate slowly until i got to the door - at which point it would suddenly spike. this would give me an extra boost of adrenaline to get back into the living room with. it was *always* the run back into the living room that was the scariest, because you never knew if they beat you to the door, and were just waiting for you to lock yourself in and then jump on you when you're cornered.
i think that this daily experience probably underlies my heightened level of caution towards risk. i don't reject risk; i've taken a lot of risks over my life. but, i assess it pretty brutally. i seek out worst case scenarios; i plan around assumptions of failure, to ensure necessities are never interrupted for. what it taught me is that risk must be a consequence of security, and not in antagonism with it.
the original demo version, recorded in 1996, is really the only track from the first cassette that can be salvaged without alteration, however accidentally. i was trying to create an eerie lullabye, a kind of banshee song. through the cumulative process of endless modifications over many months, it ended up sounding like an unfinished progressive rock song - or perhaps a campfire song for existential nihilists. but, what i captured without realizing it at the time was that i sound like the child that i was. for that reason, i consider this version of the track to capture it's essence more accurately than the 1998 or 1999 versions did. i wanted to recapture that essence and re-apply it to the final version.
perhaps what happened with the initial recreation is understandable, in the context of what i've discovered about the track, in hindsight. at the end of 1997, i got a new four-track recorder for christmas. i had spent the entire fall programming on an ry30 that i was given to compensate for the loss of the drum kit. when you get new gear, it's first use is always experimental; i used this track as my training wheels in breaking in the new setup, and largely discarded the outcome.
the track got dropped because i'd come to hate it because i thought of it as cutesy and childish. isn't that what happens when we enter our late teens? if i look back on the initial recording and claim it's essence is intrinsically connected with my age at the time of it's recording, does it not follow that i must have despised it as i sought to define myself in opposition to my child-self?
indeed, it specifically was the vocals that i hated. so, i resolved to ruin them through deadpan and atonality and guitar effects. but, once i had done so, i did not like the outcome and rejected the track for the first record. when i recorded the vocals a second time in early 1999 to complete it for my second record, i merely toned down the concept of annihilating the cutesiness in the vocal delivery, leaving a result that is no more engaged and only arguably preferable.
i may have been experimenting with the gear when i recorded the parts, but the tapes digitized very well for the reconstruction project in 2015. there's enough space in the track to allow the modern guitar & bass & synth plugins to function almost on a clean recording. the remix process allowed me to rediscover the eerie, psychedelic nature of the track and take it closer to it's intended conclusion of constructing a feeling of empty dread and uncertainty.
on sequencing the instrumental remaster of the second record in late 2016, i decided that there was an excess of silence at the beginning of the track that needed to be cut off in order to place it into the proper flow of the record. so, i opened it up in cubase and cut the appropriate section of silence out. i was then distracted by something, and returned to the project unable to remember if i had actually cut the silence or not. in order to check, i re-imported the file. the logic is that if they are out of phase then the cut was made. this was the case, but i immediately made the connection, on playback, to the echo being representative of coming footsteps and sought to expand the idea further.
this resulted in a series of remixes that take the track increasingly out of phase, along with increasing adornments, and then climax in manipulating the speed of the tape as a supplementary effect to increase the disorientation. these were arranged into a sequence of increasing, and then decreasing, complexity.
before i went off on this tangent, i was planning on reconstructing a vocal mix with the reconstruction from tape as the base soundscape. but, all of a sudden, i now had a dozen versions to pick from. i decided that the best thing to do was to experiment. this led to me mixing several of the remixes together, which is the final instrumental out for the record.
the vocal recordings i had from 1997 were unusable, so i had to redo them. but, this was an opportunity to regain the essence of the track by reintroducing a sense of innocence to the oppressive electronics and elusive guitars. my initial plan was to use a solitary voice, but i found that it did not mix well into the same frequency range as the interlock of stereo-spectrum guitars, so i instead recorded the track multiple times and set each recording to a different space in the spectrum. this creates a natural "chorus" effect on playback that blurs the frequency and better allows the vocals to compete with the guitars. i then thickened the chorus further by pitch-shifting it up an octave, which brought in the child-like innocence that i sought for the vocals.
as i was redoing the vocal part, i rejected the track a final time. at 35, why was i singing vocals i wrote when i was 12? is this clinical? but, i followed through with it to close the circle. inri is forever done.
initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. finalized on dec 13, 2016. as always, please use headphones.
the album version of this track appears on my second record:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched
this release is compiled in the following places:
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inriched-box-set
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/merch/inri-box-set
this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1996, 1998, 1999, 2013, 2015, 2016).
*download only
credits
released January 15, 1999
j - guitars, effects, bass, pick scrapes, drum kit, drum programming, digital wave editing, vocals, vocal relics, production
j - guitars, effects, bass, pick scrapes, drum kit, drum programming, digital wave editing, vocals, vocal relics, production
Tuesday, December 13, 2016
i was unaware of this event when i wrote my write-up on wynne's prospects in the next election. i see that her office had already made the same calculations, several weeks ago. that's reassuring. surprisingly so.
but, she's facing the need to make a choice. if she goes into the new year as leader, she's attaching herself to the party in 2018. do her and her team think that this is the most strategic choice? she is running out of time to step down.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/11/19/wynne-calls-high-electricity-prices-her-mistake_n_13095776.html
but, she's facing the need to make a choice. if she goes into the new year as leader, she's attaching herself to the party in 2018. do her and her team think that this is the most strategic choice? she is running out of time to step down.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/11/19/wynne-calls-high-electricity-prices-her-mistake_n_13095776.html
i don't usually pay attention to corruption scandals. i make the basic assumption that all parties are corrupt, and judge them by their policies and track records. some money will disappear. that's a given.
but, i just want to draw attention here to the scope of the issue. the issue was a very real concern in the most recent american cycle, where the most popular (however tenuously...) candidate for the entire election cycle had taken extremely large sums from banking institutions for no discernible reason. she took hundreds of thousands per speech, and one estimate suggests it added up to $22 million. that's a lot of cash, and a lot of cash buys access. it's blatant.
trudeau, here, is being accused of accepting a $1500 personal contribution after discussing an issue of some sort with that person. i'm sure the party appreciates it. but, that doesn't buy access.
or at least i hope it doesn't.
no, it doesn't. it doesn't. but what if...?
no. that's not enough. obviously.
you can never be sure.
but, then he'd have to have a meandering policy vision, that dodders about, unfocused, in every which way, which projects minimal confidence in any direction. hrmmn.
naw.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/12/13/trudeau-fundraisers-middle-class-ambrose-mulcair_n_13611432.html
but, i just want to draw attention here to the scope of the issue. the issue was a very real concern in the most recent american cycle, where the most popular (however tenuously...) candidate for the entire election cycle had taken extremely large sums from banking institutions for no discernible reason. she took hundreds of thousands per speech, and one estimate suggests it added up to $22 million. that's a lot of cash, and a lot of cash buys access. it's blatant.
trudeau, here, is being accused of accepting a $1500 personal contribution after discussing an issue of some sort with that person. i'm sure the party appreciates it. but, that doesn't buy access.
or at least i hope it doesn't.
no, it doesn't. it doesn't. but what if...?
no. that's not enough. obviously.
you can never be sure.
but, then he'd have to have a meandering policy vision, that dodders about, unfocused, in every which way, which projects minimal confidence in any direction. hrmmn.
naw.
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2016/12/13/trudeau-fundraisers-middle-class-ambrose-mulcair_n_13611432.html
see, this is a smarter way to channel xenophobia, because this really is a practice that shouldn't be tolerated. i don't care if you wear a scarf. i do care if you perform surgical operations on your children by non-licensed practitioners in order to satisfy a superstition. if your rights scheme allows this, it stinks. these kids need protection. i don't want to hear it.
but, of course, it's really a policy for integration - and that appears to be necessary in the uk. the racism is at the point where it needs a social policy to address it. this is a way to acknowledge that without giving in to it.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-38290888
but, of course, it's really a policy for integration - and that appears to be necessary in the uk. the racism is at the point where it needs a social policy to address it. this is a way to acknowledge that without giving in to it.
http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-38290888
Monday, December 12, 2016
this would be epic.
"i come forward to represent the interests of rationality and science against the dark forces of magical thinking. i bring forth realism; i champion data. we shall always follow the evidence."
meanwhile, trump gets to play high school bully to his most advanced desires.
"look at him. he's a fucking loser. he's got four-eyes glasses. maybe we could hire him to run our email servers, or something? i hear he's good at that. loser. i bet i know what's microsoft about him."
he would then proceed to place an L over his head, and walk menacingly towards him.
and, you could imagine the speech you'd get from gates.
"i've been called a loser my whole life. and, yet look at what i've accomplished?"
i'm not sure the nerds will win, in the end. but, i'd still like to watch the game.
"i come forward to represent the interests of rationality and science against the dark forces of magical thinking. i bring forth realism; i champion data. we shall always follow the evidence."
meanwhile, trump gets to play high school bully to his most advanced desires.
"look at him. he's a fucking loser. he's got four-eyes glasses. maybe we could hire him to run our email servers, or something? i hear he's good at that. loser. i bet i know what's microsoft about him."
he would then proceed to place an L over his head, and walk menacingly towards him.
and, you could imagine the speech you'd get from gates.
"i've been called a loser my whole life. and, yet look at what i've accomplished?"
i'm not sure the nerds will win, in the end. but, i'd still like to watch the game.
something's been brewing for a while, though: the fear propaganda about terrorism is being replaced by a return to what is essentially cold war propaganda. i think there's very valid concerns about putting the ceo of a fossil fuel company with deep intelligence connections in the united states in as secretary of state. maybe we should talk about this. but, instead the so-called liberal media is insisting on branding him as a red. it appears that they'll have a senate committee on unamerican hearings to investigate, too.
see, it's not some accident; it's not some rash act. the supposed war on terrorism has been converted into a proxy war between major powers, and making way for a dangerous conflict with russia and china. it initially collapsed into a series of complex, overlapping proxy wars. but, order generated. alliances formed into a hierarchy, and the most meta struggles took over: iran v greece, rome v persia, catholic v orthodox, britain v russia - the cold war. the ancient, ancient cold war. it always dominates.
and, in the long run, that was just a minor uprising. to be forgotten. we're back to the ancient struggle. east v west.
see, it's not some accident; it's not some rash act. the supposed war on terrorism has been converted into a proxy war between major powers, and making way for a dangerous conflict with russia and china. it initially collapsed into a series of complex, overlapping proxy wars. but, order generated. alliances formed into a hierarchy, and the most meta struggles took over: iran v greece, rome v persia, catholic v orthodox, britain v russia - the cold war. the ancient, ancient cold war. it always dominates.
and, in the long run, that was just a minor uprising. to be forgotten. we're back to the ancient struggle. east v west.
so, the chinese claim this taiwan thing is a big deal. is this serious?
my understanding is that the chinese see this as a case of epic shit-disturbing by the taiwanese - but that they are also incredibly concerned by the flaws it exposes in donald trump's competency. it's serious, but not like you think.
let's begin with the following question: why hasn't this happened before? this one-china policy thing is almost fifty years old, now. is it the case that taiwanese leaders don't usually call? or is it the case that the calls aren't usually taken?
if the leaders don't normally call, then why did this one do so? is it because she realized that trump didn't know any better? because she was just curious as to what would happen? you can't escape the deduction that the taiwanese have a very poor regard for mr. trump's intelligence, if they thought they could play him off against the mainland so easily. is this a taste of the next four years: the president being mocked by the leaders of his own client states?
if the calls are usually made and not taken, what it broadcasts to beijing is the immense level of cluelessness in the incoming administration.
in both cases, we're left with the disturbing conclusion that he did not know not to do this and did not have anybody around him that did and could tell him. and, that is why the chinese are on high alert: a dangerous and aggressive buffoon is about to be given the launch codes.
my understanding is that the chinese see this as a case of epic shit-disturbing by the taiwanese - but that they are also incredibly concerned by the flaws it exposes in donald trump's competency. it's serious, but not like you think.
let's begin with the following question: why hasn't this happened before? this one-china policy thing is almost fifty years old, now. is it the case that taiwanese leaders don't usually call? or is it the case that the calls aren't usually taken?
if the leaders don't normally call, then why did this one do so? is it because she realized that trump didn't know any better? because she was just curious as to what would happen? you can't escape the deduction that the taiwanese have a very poor regard for mr. trump's intelligence, if they thought they could play him off against the mainland so easily. is this a taste of the next four years: the president being mocked by the leaders of his own client states?
if the calls are usually made and not taken, what it broadcasts to beijing is the immense level of cluelessness in the incoming administration.
in both cases, we're left with the disturbing conclusion that he did not know not to do this and did not have anybody around him that did and could tell him. and, that is why the chinese are on high alert: a dangerous and aggressive buffoon is about to be given the launch codes.
but, the keystone bit. yeah. i just said that.
canada is now credibly threatening to increase exports to china, so trump is trying to reroute south with the keystone. america needs to control the supply of oil. obama would have been pressured to do the same thing. and, note that trudeau's announcement was timed carefully to be between the election and inauguration, too.
you should always be suspicious when capital claims environmental reasons for policies, especially when they have geopolitical implications.
canada is now credibly threatening to increase exports to china, so trump is trying to reroute south with the keystone. america needs to control the supply of oil. obama would have been pressured to do the same thing. and, note that trudeau's announcement was timed carefully to be between the election and inauguration, too.
you should always be suspicious when capital claims environmental reasons for policies, especially when they have geopolitical implications.
"President-elect Donald Trump escalated a fight with the U.S.
intelligence community on Sunday by denouncing its findings of Russian
meddling in the U.S. election, setting up an extraordinary rupture between a soon-to-be president and his national-security establishment."
well, ok, then, wsj. gee, you're giving me this article for free? thanks. i appreciate your altruism.
what, am i writing the script, here?
they're jumping all over themselves, here, to convincingly explain that donald trump is not a front for the cia. i suppose i was merely mistaken. apologies.
now that i've been corrected on that point, i will no longer mention it. promise.
http://www.wsj.com/articles/trump-blames-democrats-for-reports-of-russia-hacking-1481467907
well, ok, then, wsj. gee, you're giving me this article for free? thanks. i appreciate your altruism.
what, am i writing the script, here?
they're jumping all over themselves, here, to convincingly explain that donald trump is not a front for the cia. i suppose i was merely mistaken. apologies.
now that i've been corrected on that point, i will no longer mention it. promise.
http://www.wsj.com/articles/trump-blames-democrats-for-reports-of-russia-hacking-1481467907
Sunday, December 11, 2016
my whole time here, i've been wondering if i should be concerned about the apparent aggressive nature of the neighbourhood cats. i wonder if it may have to do with the fact that they were at one point fed here.
we think of alley cats as domestic animals, but in any random sample that's only going to be partly true. there are feral colonies of cats in most cities now that have been wild for multiple generations. they really should be treated as wild animals.
...and the number one rule for living around wild predators is not to feed them, and to make sure they're not eating around you. that's when animals start to get more aggressive around humans.
that's something to keep in mind when you feed the alley cats.
we think of alley cats as domestic animals, but in any random sample that's only going to be partly true. there are feral colonies of cats in most cities now that have been wild for multiple generations. they really should be treated as wild animals.
...and the number one rule for living around wild predators is not to feed them, and to make sure they're not eating around you. that's when animals start to get more aggressive around humans.
that's something to keep in mind when you feed the alley cats.
“Everyone should know WikiLeaks was involved from the very beginning,” Reid continued. “They leaked the information as if it was run by one of the great political operatives in America when in fact it was run by the political operatives in Russia."
mr. reid has said a little too much here. i guess he's in the habit of just reading memos verbatim, or what?
mr. reid has said a little too much here. i guess he's in the habit of just reading memos verbatim, or what?
i think this whole russian trump plot is a distraction from the reality of a cia plot to put trump in.
i mean, it's one of those situations that is just fishy. nobody saw it coming. so, people like me put the dots together and realize "ok. trump is a puppet of the military-industrial-intelligence complex. exxon ceo for secretary of state? well, sure. that makes sense. look at all of those leaks. controlled, obviously. so, it's gotta be cia.".
they're not going to get away with denying it completely. it's too obvious. so, i guess we need to forget about the fbi shenanigans, and focus solely on the questionable evidence that triggered them? as though the russians were playing the fbi for fools, and they took the bait like buffoons? that was obviously a relay: you drop the bait, and then you react to it. almost hegelian.
but, that's the bait and switch: you blame the interference on the guys you wanted to demonize, anyways. you can't deny it. so, you just shift the blame.
i think that what's more curious to me right now is why they're so worried about it at this particular moment. seems a little paranoid. not a good sign.
i mean, it's one of those situations that is just fishy. nobody saw it coming. so, people like me put the dots together and realize "ok. trump is a puppet of the military-industrial-intelligence complex. exxon ceo for secretary of state? well, sure. that makes sense. look at all of those leaks. controlled, obviously. so, it's gotta be cia.".
they're not going to get away with denying it completely. it's too obvious. so, i guess we need to forget about the fbi shenanigans, and focus solely on the questionable evidence that triggered them? as though the russians were playing the fbi for fools, and they took the bait like buffoons? that was obviously a relay: you drop the bait, and then you react to it. almost hegelian.
but, that's the bait and switch: you blame the interference on the guys you wanted to demonize, anyways. you can't deny it. so, you just shift the blame.
i think that what's more curious to me right now is why they're so worried about it at this particular moment. seems a little paranoid. not a good sign.
Saturday, December 10, 2016
you have to wonder if there's a psychological complex at play, as if liberals are subconsciously wired to perceive of conservatives as the establishment and consequently react less in opposition to and more in subversion of. the liberal purpose seems to be to conquer the conservative establishment, right? otherwise, you're not a liberal. you're an anarchist. this is what drives the liberal - the will to overwhelm the conservative. and, you have to wonder if the conservative understand this, at least well enough to feign super powers. this ultimately puts the conservative in the superior bargaining position, due to what is really a liberal inferiority complex to overwhelm the so-called conservative establishment. liberals are hardwired to concessions due to their will to overcome this feigned battle that exists in their minds. the state is consequently inherently conservative, and truly libertarian ideas must be sought outside of it.
if i'm forced to choose in the end, i'll pick horvath over brown because at least you can maybe pressure her from the left. that would probably ultimately be a step sideways, but it could set up a step forwards.
let's just hope that ontario does not choose to take a step backwards by re-electing the conservatives.
and, let's be mindful of splitting the vote: which may in the end mean abandoning the liberals.
if they get decimated and end up in third place, maybe they'll learn the lesson, this time?
but i repeat: if you're concerned about protecting public resources, the ndp are far preferable to the conservatives.
let's just hope that ontario does not choose to take a step backwards by re-electing the conservatives.
and, let's be mindful of splitting the vote: which may in the end mean abandoning the liberals.
if they get decimated and end up in third place, maybe they'll learn the lesson, this time?
but i repeat: if you're concerned about protecting public resources, the ndp are far preferable to the conservatives.
yes: kathleen wynne is extremely unpopular. but, it's because she's pushing through free market reforms that voters typically associate with the conservatives. so, it does not necessarily follow that the conservatives will benefit from her unpopularity. and, if they do, it will likely be because the vote splits.
it took quite a few years and a change of premier, but the liberals in ontario have finally made the error that is the death knell of liberal governments everywhere: they geared policy around trying to appeal to conservatives.
the same thing happens every single time the liberals try this foolish tactic: the vote splits. this is partly a consequence of the conservative press taking advantage of them, like they're patsies, and partly a consequence of liberal strategists fundamentally misunderstanding conservative priorities.
what happened this time is that kathleen wynne decided that, because the debt was a liability with right-leaning voters, she would sell off the hydro grid. this would raise money to pay off the debt. that would in turn make her more popular with conservative voters and she'd win a sweeping victory.
but, it turns out that conservative voters actually oppose privatization measures and that the party always carried through with them without popular support. that's why the conservatives lost their dynasty - because while the media and the banks and the other branches of the conservative party establishment all supported privatization, it was incredibly unpopular amongst voters. if we rewind back to the day of old tory dynasty in ontario, that is before reagan-thatcher, they always supported public utilities. they built most of them! oops? yeah. this is an error that was foreseeable and should be pinned directly on the premier. this is a political error that she should not have made and that many pundits - myself included - saw coming.
but, is she cooked? is this done? not yet.
"Patrick Brown scores the highest of the party leaders at being Premier, with just one quarter of the vote (26%), and he is almost tied with “none of the above” (24%). Then comes Andrea Horwath, with a fifth of the vote (19%) and Kathleen Wynne with about one tenth (12%). One fifth don’t offer an opinion (19%)."
what the polling is saying is that voters hate privatization. they do not like it. they do not like it in a boat. they do not like it in a moat. they do not like privatization, no ma'am!
but they don't like conservatives, either.
there's been a huge swing from "liberal, i guess" to "they're all fucking terrible".
the election is very much in play. i think andrea horwath is a conservative-in-socialist's clothing. she won't stand up and argue against the market, she'll just promise tax rebates. but, watch out for the ndp. because, in the end, if we've decided that the liberals must be replaced, it's not going to be because we think they're spending too much.
my preferred outcome is that wynne gets the message, realizes her error and reverses course with enough time left to save the government. this wasn't ideological, it was pragmatic. and she should really be relieved to realize she was wrong.
http://poll.forumresearch.com/post/2640/pcs-continue-to-lead-strongly-in-ontario/
the same thing happens every single time the liberals try this foolish tactic: the vote splits. this is partly a consequence of the conservative press taking advantage of them, like they're patsies, and partly a consequence of liberal strategists fundamentally misunderstanding conservative priorities.
what happened this time is that kathleen wynne decided that, because the debt was a liability with right-leaning voters, she would sell off the hydro grid. this would raise money to pay off the debt. that would in turn make her more popular with conservative voters and she'd win a sweeping victory.
but, it turns out that conservative voters actually oppose privatization measures and that the party always carried through with them without popular support. that's why the conservatives lost their dynasty - because while the media and the banks and the other branches of the conservative party establishment all supported privatization, it was incredibly unpopular amongst voters. if we rewind back to the day of old tory dynasty in ontario, that is before reagan-thatcher, they always supported public utilities. they built most of them! oops? yeah. this is an error that was foreseeable and should be pinned directly on the premier. this is a political error that she should not have made and that many pundits - myself included - saw coming.
but, is she cooked? is this done? not yet.
"Patrick Brown scores the highest of the party leaders at being Premier, with just one quarter of the vote (26%), and he is almost tied with “none of the above” (24%). Then comes Andrea Horwath, with a fifth of the vote (19%) and Kathleen Wynne with about one tenth (12%). One fifth don’t offer an opinion (19%)."
what the polling is saying is that voters hate privatization. they do not like it. they do not like it in a boat. they do not like it in a moat. they do not like privatization, no ma'am!
but they don't like conservatives, either.
there's been a huge swing from "liberal, i guess" to "they're all fucking terrible".
the election is very much in play. i think andrea horwath is a conservative-in-socialist's clothing. she won't stand up and argue against the market, she'll just promise tax rebates. but, watch out for the ndp. because, in the end, if we've decided that the liberals must be replaced, it's not going to be because we think they're spending too much.
my preferred outcome is that wynne gets the message, realizes her error and reverses course with enough time left to save the government. this wasn't ideological, it was pragmatic. and she should really be relieved to realize she was wrong.
http://poll.forumresearch.com/post/2640/pcs-continue-to-lead-strongly-in-ontario/
there's an incubation period. it's a few months. rough? sure. but it's not immediate, and usually later than sooner.
so, if i got it at the lab, i wouldn't already be feeling it. and, if i got it in the blackout, i'd be feeling it right about now. ugh.
that's actually teachable. the symptoms were correlated with the blood work, but could not have been caused by it.
i hope he enjoyed it. i don't remember it. and i hope i fight this off.
so, if i got it at the lab, i wouldn't already be feeling it. and, if i got it in the blackout, i'd be feeling it right about now. ugh.
that's actually teachable. the symptoms were correlated with the blood work, but could not have been caused by it.
i hope he enjoyed it. i don't remember it. and i hope i fight this off.
what are the polls at nowadays, anyways?
november average:
liberals 47
conservatives 28
ndp 14
greens 6
bloc 4
the liberals got about 39% in the election last year. they seem to have picked up extra support from both the conservatives and the ndp. the green party is very hard to poll and we should be very careful drawing conclusions, but i think that substantial bleed from the ndp to the greens right now makes a lot of sense.
the greens, for example, have been consistent in their opposition to nafta. and for the right reasons.
but, has the country fallen head over heels for this guy, or what? don't jump to conclusions. i'll tell you what the average voter sees when they look at the options.
1) the prime minister. cool guy. legalizing pot!
2) some lady that took stephen harper's job. but she's a temp worker.
3) that weird guy with the beard that got fired and won't leave.
4) that old lady that seems reasonable, but she'll never win, right?
5) separatists!
it's a process of elimination, guys. there's nobody on the ballot. of course he's polling at 50%.
http://www.threehundredeight.com/2016/12/november-2016-federal-polling-averages.html
november average:
liberals 47
conservatives 28
ndp 14
greens 6
bloc 4
the liberals got about 39% in the election last year. they seem to have picked up extra support from both the conservatives and the ndp. the green party is very hard to poll and we should be very careful drawing conclusions, but i think that substantial bleed from the ndp to the greens right now makes a lot of sense.
the greens, for example, have been consistent in their opposition to nafta. and for the right reasons.
but, has the country fallen head over heels for this guy, or what? don't jump to conclusions. i'll tell you what the average voter sees when they look at the options.
1) the prime minister. cool guy. legalizing pot!
2) some lady that took stephen harper's job. but she's a temp worker.
3) that weird guy with the beard that got fired and won't leave.
4) that old lady that seems reasonable, but she'll never win, right?
5) separatists!
it's a process of elimination, guys. there's nobody on the ballot. of course he's polling at 50%.
http://www.threehundredeight.com/2016/12/november-2016-federal-polling-averages.html
my actual opinion - and i have stated this repeatedly - is that i do not believe that either of these measures will reduce emissions, that the government knows it and that this is something between political theatre and a policy for wealth redistribution.
i'm consequently neither opposed nor in favour of it. although i'll take the check in the mail that is no doubt coming, thanks. very kind of you.
but, that does not mean that emissions targets cannot be met.
let's not lose sight of the infrastructure funding. that's something that can make a real difference, and something that my vote is more contingent on.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/trudeau-premiers-climate-deal-1.3888244
i'm consequently neither opposed nor in favour of it. although i'll take the check in the mail that is no doubt coming, thanks. very kind of you.
but, that does not mean that emissions targets cannot be met.
let's not lose sight of the infrastructure funding. that's something that can make a real difference, and something that my vote is more contingent on.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/politics/trudeau-premiers-climate-deal-1.3888244
Friday, December 9, 2016
it's very strange.
i was not experiencing symptoms of hep b before i got my blood taken. but, i have certainly been tired since then. and it is documented here - before i had any results.
it may be psychological, but i'm getting pains in my abdomen. and my eyes have picked up a yellow hue.
i am very seriously concerned that i picked up hepatitis at the blood lab.
i was not experiencing symptoms of hep b before i got my blood taken. but, i have certainly been tired since then. and it is documented here - before i had any results.
it may be psychological, but i'm getting pains in my abdomen. and my eyes have picked up a yellow hue.
i am very seriously concerned that i picked up hepatitis at the blood lab.
i mean, how exactly do you expect me to celebrate christmas? i'm an atheist, and an anti-capitalist. do you expect me to sing songs to a god i don't believe in? do you expect me to make an exception for the contradictions because it's the end of the calendar?
"i know that capitalism is full of contradictions. but it's the end of the year. we'll pretend it makes sense. for the children. because ignoring the contradictions in capitalism, and perpetuating the oppression, is exactly what will benefit the children, in the long run."
and, you know, i'm not even going to go out there and poke your eyes. if you want to sing your silly songs to your imaginary friends, have fun. i don't fucking care. why would i? just keep it out of my face...
"i know that capitalism is full of contradictions. but it's the end of the year. we'll pretend it makes sense. for the children. because ignoring the contradictions in capitalism, and perpetuating the oppression, is exactly what will benefit the children, in the long run."
and, you know, i'm not even going to go out there and poke your eyes. if you want to sing your silly songs to your imaginary friends, have fun. i don't fucking care. why would i? just keep it out of my face...
i don't "hate christmas"....
it's the wrong way to conceptualize it.
what if i were to ask you why you don't celebrate lemuria?
here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemuria_%28festival%29
so, why don't you celebrate lemuria? if you don't celebrate lemuria, you must hate lemuria, right? you must be anti-lemuria!
it's absurd. i don't celebrate christmas because i consider christianity to be medieval, and it's adherents to be primitives. i live in a modern, secular society and i simply don't have time for your dark age nonsense.
what if i were to ask you why you don't celebrate lemuria?
here:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lemuria_%28festival%29
so, why don't you celebrate lemuria? if you don't celebrate lemuria, you must hate lemuria, right? you must be anti-lemuria!
it's absurd. i don't celebrate christmas because i consider christianity to be medieval, and it's adherents to be primitives. i live in a modern, secular society and i simply don't have time for your dark age nonsense.
this gets the basic idea right.
https://www.desmog.ca/2016/05/20/who-really-benefits-pipelines-kinder-morgan-trans-mountain-anyways
this article also understands the basic point.
http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702304356604577339972995473802
https://www.desmog.ca/2016/05/20/who-really-benefits-pipelines-kinder-morgan-trans-mountain-anyways
this article also understands the basic point.
http://www.wsj.com/articles/SB10001424052702304356604577339972995473802
Thursday, December 8, 2016
oil geopolitics in north america
so, on the eve of a new administration that is not bound by lip service to environmentalism, let's ask a blunt question: what are american interests regarding canadian energy exports?
you need to take two major factors into consideration. the first is the need for america to control the supply of energy. the second is the reality that america wants to be an exporter, and is now in competition with other exporters.
canada's major energy export market is china - a market that american exporters may be interested in. so, is helping canada get it's resources to market (in china) something that sounds consistent with the goals of a trump administration?
let's rewind back to keystone.
the media presented keystone as an environmental policy debate. in doing so, it failed to report that the decision was being made by the state department. the state department does not generally make decisions about resource management. rather, the state department makes decisions about national security. and, hence, the decision was one of national security. and, how so?
again: the media presents these different pipelines as though they're a part of a comprehensive plan to achieve a monolithic end goal. the idea that approval of one pipeline may be contingent on the approval of another is never discussed. but, this is america's basic logic: if canada is going to try and export through british columbia, it is in america's interest to coerce the oil southwards, to cushing. and, if canada is not going to try and export through british columbia, it is in america's interest to block exports altogether, and present their own preferentially.
if you were paying careful attention, you may have noticed that the decision to block keystone was made after it seemed clear that the pacific route was blocked. and, any decision to revisit keystone will likewise be dependent on the credibility of threats to export to east asia. do you see how this works, now?
i know it's easy to get lost in the bubble. but, north america is only a theatre. and, canada is a foreign country. take a look around the world and digest the lengths that america will go to to control the supply of energy. look at what america does to control pipelines. and, do not trick yourself into thinking that this country is in any way special.
it follows that threatening to build transmountain may very well be a bluff to get keystone flowing. and, that's an offer that the president can't refuse.
you need to take two major factors into consideration. the first is the need for america to control the supply of energy. the second is the reality that america wants to be an exporter, and is now in competition with other exporters.
canada's major energy export market is china - a market that american exporters may be interested in. so, is helping canada get it's resources to market (in china) something that sounds consistent with the goals of a trump administration?
let's rewind back to keystone.
the media presented keystone as an environmental policy debate. in doing so, it failed to report that the decision was being made by the state department. the state department does not generally make decisions about resource management. rather, the state department makes decisions about national security. and, hence, the decision was one of national security. and, how so?
again: the media presents these different pipelines as though they're a part of a comprehensive plan to achieve a monolithic end goal. the idea that approval of one pipeline may be contingent on the approval of another is never discussed. but, this is america's basic logic: if canada is going to try and export through british columbia, it is in america's interest to coerce the oil southwards, to cushing. and, if canada is not going to try and export through british columbia, it is in america's interest to block exports altogether, and present their own preferentially.
if you were paying careful attention, you may have noticed that the decision to block keystone was made after it seemed clear that the pacific route was blocked. and, any decision to revisit keystone will likewise be dependent on the credibility of threats to export to east asia. do you see how this works, now?
i know it's easy to get lost in the bubble. but, north america is only a theatre. and, canada is a foreign country. take a look around the world and digest the lengths that america will go to to control the supply of energy. look at what america does to control pipelines. and, do not trick yourself into thinking that this country is in any way special.
it follows that threatening to build transmountain may very well be a bluff to get keystone flowing. and, that's an offer that the president can't refuse.
moving the rants over here
i have no patience for a platform that deletes post. i don't care why. so, i'm moving over here for now. and we'll see if posts get deleted or not...
i suppose it's an opportunity to finalize the pivot.
i will eventually reconstruct a journal going back as far as i can, but this is a post-discography project. for now, i just need a secure scratchpad. which is the most basic thing possible, right?
ugh.
i suppose it's an opportunity to finalize the pivot.
i will eventually reconstruct a journal going back as far as i can, but this is a post-discography project. for now, i just need a secure scratchpad. which is the most basic thing possible, right?
ugh.
and the reason i don't go to gay bars - ever - is that i don't want to get hit on.
think of it like this: if you ever do go to a gay bar, you're going to find a group of straight women, there. always. every time. and, if you ask them why they're in the gay bar, they'll tell you that they just want to go out and dance and have fun without getting hit on.
that's exactly why i go to straight bars: because i just want to go out and dance and have fun without getting hit on.
i was at a straight bar that night. it was a friendly atmosphere. but it was not a gay club.
and the reason i'm pretty sure that the guy i regained consciousness next to did not touch me was that he was initially unaware of my anatomical configuration. that is, he thought i was a cis-female.
so, that's another reason it doesn't add up. if i was sober, and i was going to go along with it for some reason, i would have told him immediately. before any touching at all. and i was in a primarily straight club.
that doesn't make it impossible, of course. it just makes it that much more complicated, and that much more unlikely.
think of it like this: if you ever do go to a gay bar, you're going to find a group of straight women, there. always. every time. and, if you ask them why they're in the gay bar, they'll tell you that they just want to go out and dance and have fun without getting hit on.
that's exactly why i go to straight bars: because i just want to go out and dance and have fun without getting hit on.
i was at a straight bar that night. it was a friendly atmosphere. but it was not a gay club.
and the reason i'm pretty sure that the guy i regained consciousness next to did not touch me was that he was initially unaware of my anatomical configuration. that is, he thought i was a cis-female.
so, that's another reason it doesn't add up. if i was sober, and i was going to go along with it for some reason, i would have told him immediately. before any touching at all. and i was in a primarily straight club.
that doesn't make it impossible, of course. it just makes it that much more complicated, and that much more unlikely.
ok.
according to this site, which is not the best site but good enough in context, i do not need to have had recent contact with the virus to test positive. those antibodies are always there. that's a big relief in understanding what's going on.
that means there are five possibilities.
1) i got vaccinated in the eighth grade. although i don't recall doing a three-part vaccination and would probably remember it.
2) i picked it up something like ten years ago and either fought it off and am now immune or am now a carrier. i'll at least accept this as possible. although, as mentioned, she should have been vaccinated. so, i don't think this is likely...
3) i picked it up in the blackout. that means i'd have to have instantaneously dropped years of internalized oppression around sex and i can't believe this. maybe blackouts are that powerful. i'm skeptical enough to push back.
4) i got infected at the blood lab via dirty needle or eugenics program. i am at very high risk of being targeted.
5) false positive.
i'm going to want to do more precise research before i get more blood work done. which means i want the report.
http://www.hepatitiscentral.com/hcv/hbv/hepatitis-b-basics/
according to this site, which is not the best site but good enough in context, i do not need to have had recent contact with the virus to test positive. those antibodies are always there. that's a big relief in understanding what's going on.
that means there are five possibilities.
1) i got vaccinated in the eighth grade. although i don't recall doing a three-part vaccination and would probably remember it.
2) i picked it up something like ten years ago and either fought it off and am now immune or am now a carrier. i'll at least accept this as possible. although, as mentioned, she should have been vaccinated. so, i don't think this is likely...
3) i picked it up in the blackout. that means i'd have to have instantaneously dropped years of internalized oppression around sex and i can't believe this. maybe blackouts are that powerful. i'm skeptical enough to push back.
4) i got infected at the blood lab via dirty needle or eugenics program. i am at very high risk of being targeted.
5) false positive.
i'm going to want to do more precise research before i get more blood work done. which means i want the report.
http://www.hepatitiscentral.com/hcv/hbv/hepatitis-b-basics/
this is what i'm going to do.
1) i'm going to finish the record.
2) i'm going to do a compost run some time next week.
3) on the way back from the compost run, i will pick up a photocopy of the blood test.
4) i will research from there.
i reiterate: there is no likely source of infection. and i am consequently very suspicious of the company.
1) i'm going to finish the record.
2) i'm going to do a compost run some time next week.
3) on the way back from the compost run, i will pick up a photocopy of the blood test.
4) i will research from there.
i reiterate: there is no likely source of infection. and i am consequently very suspicious of the company.
no. no. i think i need to better understand the immune system before i go any further.
if i had received a vaccination in the eighth grade, would there be antibodies in a random blood sample? or would i have had to have come in contact with the virus for the antibodies to be produced?
and, hence, does the presence of antibodies mean i must have been in contact with the virus?
in which case, i call bullshit immediately.
if i had received a vaccination in the eighth grade, would there be antibodies in a random blood sample? or would i have had to have come in contact with the virus for the antibodies to be produced?
and, hence, does the presence of antibodies mean i must have been in contact with the virus?
in which case, i call bullshit immediately.
just if you're curious: anal sex for me is basically a no-go. i
don't enjoy it. and i think it's kind of gross. i mean, i've stuck some
things up there to poke around and it just hurts. i've refused it. yes, i
lost a few hours, and i know what i said, but i still can't imagine i'd
go through with it. and there were really no signs of struggle. no
residue. even if it was quasi-consensual, you'd think there would be
residue. something. there's nothing. it just doesn't add up. and, i'm
consequently going to destroy this lab to the best of my ability if it
comes back positive.
i've never identified as a gay male. i've never had a relationship with a male. i've never had "gay sex".
i identify as an asexual to heterosexual female. and i made a decision a long time ago that i would wait until after the operation.
losing four hours like that throws everything out the window. i understand this. and i've never met myself in a blackout. but i couldn't imagine things playing out as they would need to in order to come to this conclusion.
i've constructed my entire existence around abstention. my personality. my individuality. i've avoided and rejected every single person who's advanced. why would i be different in a blackout?
you'd have to accept the premise that i've spent the last ten years doing everything i can to not have sex, and then changed my mind when i was drunk. why would that be?
i mean, i've been drunk enough that i know that you lose your inhibitions a little. but you don't lose your personality. you don't become a different person.
if you don't like broccoli when you're sober, you don't like it when you're drunk, either.
and if you don't like sex when you're sober, it's hard to see why you'd want it when you're blacked out.
i've never identified as a gay male. i've never had a relationship with a male. i've never had "gay sex".
i identify as an asexual to heterosexual female. and i made a decision a long time ago that i would wait until after the operation.
losing four hours like that throws everything out the window. i understand this. and i've never met myself in a blackout. but i couldn't imagine things playing out as they would need to in order to come to this conclusion.
i've constructed my entire existence around abstention. my personality. my individuality. i've avoided and rejected every single person who's advanced. why would i be different in a blackout?
you'd have to accept the premise that i've spent the last ten years doing everything i can to not have sex, and then changed my mind when i was drunk. why would that be?
i mean, i've been drunk enough that i know that you lose your inhibitions a little. but you don't lose your personality. you don't become a different person.
if you don't like broccoli when you're sober, you don't like it when you're drunk, either.
and if you don't like sex when you're sober, it's hard to see why you'd want it when you're blacked out.
my mom has hep c, not hep b.
i consequently have no likely means of transmission, and must deduce that the antibodies are from a vaccination that i cannot recall having. i will be using a different lab to test. and if they tell me i have contracted the disease, i will have to take legal action against the lab that gave it to me.
i reiterate: i am not sexually active and have not been for around ten years. i could not have picked up an std, because i have not had sex.
i mean, where would i get it from? a stork?
no sex means no stds. not complicated.
i consequently have no likely means of transmission, and must deduce that the antibodies are from a vaccination that i cannot recall having. i will be using a different lab to test. and if they tell me i have contracted the disease, i will have to take legal action against the lab that gave it to me.
i reiterate: i am not sexually active and have not been for around ten years. i could not have picked up an std, because i have not had sex.
i mean, where would i get it from? a stork?
no sex means no stds. not complicated.
it's a grim statement. but, i'm not going to lament the end of the baby boomers, or cry about it happening faster than initially projected.
go ahead, gramps. wash down that double bacon cheese burger with a bottle of wine. and follow it up with that sniffly trip to the bathroom. wink. you can always get another mortgage, right?
good riddance.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/12/08/504667607/life-expectancy-in-u-s-drops-for-first-time-in-decades-report-finds
go ahead, gramps. wash down that double bacon cheese burger with a bottle of wine. and follow it up with that sniffly trip to the bathroom. wink. you can always get another mortgage, right?
good riddance.
http://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2016/12/08/504667607/life-expectancy-in-u-s-drops-for-first-time-in-decades-report-finds
actually, i think this is a useful tool. my worry is more that not enough people will fill it out to build a large enough sample.
and, i don't like the way they're interpreting some of my responses. they seem to claim that i'm in favour of equality of opportunity because i don't believe in identity politics. i guess that the logic is that i think that equality of outcome is determined by political representation? that if women and minorities are represented in the parliament then they're equal in society? this is specious, and that it is specious underlies so much of the opposition to it. i don't think that a view on identity politics informs a view on wealth distribution. but, readers here know i'm a communist...
but, i think that the reaction to this is absurd. if trudeau's basic perception is that elizabeth may & nathan cullen are poor representatives of popular opinion on electoral reform and he needs better data, then he's right. and i don't see anything particularly egregious about collecting information in this manner.
https://www.mydemocracy.ca/results/97883e96-5ead-4881-aaa4-e1d464c3bf13
and, i don't like the way they're interpreting some of my responses. they seem to claim that i'm in favour of equality of opportunity because i don't believe in identity politics. i guess that the logic is that i think that equality of outcome is determined by political representation? that if women and minorities are represented in the parliament then they're equal in society? this is specious, and that it is specious underlies so much of the opposition to it. i don't think that a view on identity politics informs a view on wealth distribution. but, readers here know i'm a communist...
but, i think that the reaction to this is absurd. if trudeau's basic perception is that elizabeth may & nathan cullen are poor representatives of popular opinion on electoral reform and he needs better data, then he's right. and i don't see anything particularly egregious about collecting information in this manner.
https://www.mydemocracy.ca/results/97883e96-5ead-4881-aaa4-e1d464c3bf13
Wednesday, December 7, 2016
here's an interesting question.
suppose that, several years later, in the early 00s, i have sexual intercourse with somebody that is a few years younger than me and was vaccinated as a part of the school program. could she have donated me her antibodies?
i've only had one consensual partner. and, while i can't remember if i was vaccinated, she must have been.
again: i trust the science. i don't trust the doctors. i don't trust the markets. i don't trust capitalism. and, we know that i'm the type of person that gets targeted.
if we go through this process and i end up with a positive diagnosis, the reality is that the most likely source of this infection is the blood lab, itself.
i went in for a lyme disease test, dammit. the std test was just a precaution.
yes: there was a four-hour window that's gone. and i woke up in a stranger's car. that was the precaution. but, this isn't adding up in my head...
...and i'm very skeptical about letting this company stick anything else in my arm, until i get some more information.
i can troubleshoot this. one thing at a time. i'll sort it out.
suppose that, several years later, in the early 00s, i have sexual intercourse with somebody that is a few years younger than me and was vaccinated as a part of the school program. could she have donated me her antibodies?
i've only had one consensual partner. and, while i can't remember if i was vaccinated, she must have been.
again: i trust the science. i don't trust the doctors. i don't trust the markets. i don't trust capitalism. and, we know that i'm the type of person that gets targeted.
if we go through this process and i end up with a positive diagnosis, the reality is that the most likely source of this infection is the blood lab, itself.
i went in for a lyme disease test, dammit. the std test was just a precaution.
yes: there was a four-hour window that's gone. and i woke up in a stranger's car. that was the precaution. but, this isn't adding up in my head...
...and i'm very skeptical about letting this company stick anything else in my arm, until i get some more information.
i can troubleshoot this. one thing at a time. i'll sort it out.
ugh.
https://www.publichealthontario.ca/en/LearningAndDevelopment/Events/Documents/School-based_Vaccination_Opportunities_Challenges_2012.pdf
but, i mean, why didn't they vaccinate everybody?
i'm going to guess it was costs. ugh. fuck your economy.
https://www.publichealthontario.ca/en/LearningAndDevelopment/Events/Documents/School-based_Vaccination_Opportunities_Challenges_2012.pdf
but, i mean, why didn't they vaccinate everybody?
i'm going to guess it was costs. ugh. fuck your economy.
i probably got a hep b shot in grade school. i just don't remember
exactly what shots i got, when. that was a long time ago, though. and,
why are they flagging me if it's routine?
i'm just...
i trust the science behind vaccines. i really do. but, i don't trust the doctors so much. not the government. not the market. there's too many motives, there's too much historical precedent.
as far as i can tell, i should be expected to have hep b antibodies from the school vaccination. and, they should have done all of the tests at once.
http://www.health.gov.on.ca/en/public/programs/immunization/static/immunization_tool.html
this says that they initially targeted grade 7 students in 94/95 but that grade 8 students were eligible.
i was in grade 8, that year.
there's no way i'm going to remember if they got me or not. i think i sort of remember getting a vaccine at frank ryan. but it's not solid.
i'm just...
i trust the science behind vaccines. i really do. but, i don't trust the doctors so much. not the government. not the market. there's too many motives, there's too much historical precedent.
as far as i can tell, i should be expected to have hep b antibodies from the school vaccination. and, they should have done all of the tests at once.
http://www.health.gov.on.ca/en/public/programs/immunization/static/immunization_tool.html
this says that they initially targeted grade 7 students in 94/95 but that grade 8 students were eligible.
i was in grade 8, that year.
there's no way i'm going to remember if they got me or not. i think i sort of remember getting a vaccine at frank ryan. but it's not solid.
i got my blood test results today and all of the indicators suggest i'm in pristine health, except for one thing: the presence of hep b antibodies.
i'm not surprised that all of the other indicators are as excellent as they are. i take good care of myself. but, hep b? what?
well, the presence of antibodies does not necessarily mean i have hep b. rather, there's three possibilities here:
1) i got vaccinated for it at some point. and, i think that's probably the right answer, although it's been a long time.
2) i came into contact with it at some point and, because my immune system is so strong, i beat it.
3) or i've got an infection and i'm fighting it.
i've never injected anything. ever. or at least i don't remember it. and, i don't blackout very often. but, did i catch hep b in september on the blackout night? i have absolutely no memory.
but, there is another, obscure possibility. and i need to call my mom for it.
they want another blood test for surface antibodies. i don't know why. they should have been able to test for that. is it just about billing me a second time? fuck, man, my arm only has so much blood in it...
....but, i'll take it at the beginning of january....once i've done a little research.....
"hold still.
one. ahahaha.
two. ahahaha."
i'm not surprised that all of the other indicators are as excellent as they are. i take good care of myself. but, hep b? what?
well, the presence of antibodies does not necessarily mean i have hep b. rather, there's three possibilities here:
1) i got vaccinated for it at some point. and, i think that's probably the right answer, although it's been a long time.
2) i came into contact with it at some point and, because my immune system is so strong, i beat it.
3) or i've got an infection and i'm fighting it.
i've never injected anything. ever. or at least i don't remember it. and, i don't blackout very often. but, did i catch hep b in september on the blackout night? i have absolutely no memory.
but, there is another, obscure possibility. and i need to call my mom for it.
they want another blood test for surface antibodies. i don't know why. they should have been able to test for that. is it just about billing me a second time? fuck, man, my arm only has so much blood in it...
....but, i'll take it at the beginning of january....once i've done a little research.....
"hold still.
one. ahahaha.
two. ahahaha."
democracy is a corrupt system of government. that's the trade-off: you get democracy in exchange for corruption. you cannot have democracy without corruption. this has been understand for centuries. read plato. let's have an adult discussion about policy, not childish finger-pointing about corruption, k?
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