Tuesday, May 25, 2021

and, what about these extra minerals and vitamins  i haven't tested for?

i seem to have done everything i can test for except a general amino acid test, vitamin c and iodine, and if there's anything i'm sure i'm getting enough of, it's vitamin c...

as far as i can tell, they don't even offer tests for things like manganese and molybdenum. so, we could all be suffering from overwhelming molybdenum deficiency and wouldn't even know it. fuck.

what's left is:
- vitamin b1
- vitamin b2
- vitamin b3
- vitamin b5
- vitamin b6
- vitamin b7
- vitamin e
- vitamin k 

- selenium
- molybdenum
- manganese
- nickel
- chromium 

my doctor gave me shit for looking at "obscure" issues, but the reality is that a number of these things interact with iron absorption: riboflavin, niacin, selenium, molybdenum, manganese and vitamin k all play a role in iron absorption and metabolism. but, the thing i really wanted to test for first was k, and i'm kind of pissed off that the test is $200 and not covered. this test should absolutely be covered.

i can test for it indirectly with platelets, and my platelets seem to be fine. and, it seems like a three-part test for fibrinogen, prothombin time & partial thromboplastin time is covered - and this is actually the more standard approach. great.

am i concerned about k? well, my k ought to be fine....unless i have a colon absorption problem. which is what i was trying to fucking figure out. i can also test for an antibody for crohn's and i might as well.

i can also test indirectly for selenium by doing a glutathione test, which is covered.

so, i'm going to try to get a ten minute with him before my next real appointment, and for him to fax a sheet with this stuff on it, so we can look it over.

and, i should get a & copper results then, too.
so, what am i doing this week, then, given that the weekend got away?

i could jump back to the diet as planned, but this is going to be a scattery week, and i think i'd rather avoid starting anything. so, let's put that off until next week.

i could potentially finish most of the filing as i'm cleaning and then maybe even get to doing something by friday. let's see if that's plausible.
fuck.

listen, google - these are your servers. if there's something running on the back end, you put it there, not me. or, you got hacked and need better protection.

i don't own this domain, and it's not even some obscure place - it's blogger.com. the company that owns this domain is the same company that is flagging the site, meaning it's either completely full of shit or it's flagging it's own domain. 

i just log in and post shit. 

so, while i suspect that there's a 98% chance that these warnings are actually coming from the fucking pigs because they don't want these posts broadcast, the bottom line is that i couldn't do what they're accusing me of in the first place and if there is something wrong here, then they need to fix it, themselves..



the hope is that the tarp will create a barrier between the cold concrete floor and the humidity in the air, so that the humidity doesn't end up as condensation on the cold concrete floor. 

and, these floors are unusually cold, to the point that i've wondered if they're cooled, but the concerns i've brought up have been met with denials - just like the smoking and everything else.

but, even if it doesn't work as intended due to potential seepage under the floor, at least it's the floor that gets damaged and not my furniture or gear.
overall, this weekend really got away from me. whoever it actually is that is upstairs is acting like a child in their habits, whether they actually are one or not, so i've been forced to clean up after them every few hours - but it doesn't stay clean. so, i have to do it again...

they've very badly triggered my asthma, which is giving me heart palpitations and forcing me to sleep more than i normally would, as well. and, again, i feel like i'm being drugged, but i can't figure out the source of it to end it.

and, yes i know they're up there - i can hear them, i can smell them. it's obvious.

so, i've just been getting up, cleaning, eating, cleaning, sitting down to do something, having to get up to clean again, getting the smallest amount done, having to clean again, etc.

ultimately, no - it shouldn't take me 6-7 hours to prepare a meal and eat it, but that's life dealing with the effects of second-hand smoke by selfish, worthless neighbours - or their worthless children, as it may be.

i was going to go over the sealing i did with an exacto knife (it's a horrible mess, i'm not very good at stuff like that) tonight, but i realized pretty quickly that that's just going to undo it. and, ultimately, who cares? so, i did a second coat over a few spots, and i'm just going to scrub the floor for now, instead. i also want to put something over the space and see if it's comparably better and, looking into it, the best thing to use is probably a dollar store tarp. so, i'll need to go grab one of those as well, the next time i'm out.

but, i think the worst part of it was the bacteria and/or fungi coming in from the cracks, and i hope that sealing them resolves the primary problem.

i'm otherwise in need of doing that clean on the other side of the apartment that i keep putting off...
so, i finished the pasta before i crashed this morning, but i didn't finish the salad. i was up around 18:00 and am just sitting down to try to do something, now...
today's post is inri057, the demo that was put together at the end of the rabit is wolf experiment with the sum of the completed demos - me, myself....(inri049), clarity (inri054), 9:46 (inri055), time & psi (inri056) and the rabit is wolf version of my upcoming 7th symphony, which was also finished over the end of 2014.

=======

this is the sum total of the completed rabit is wolf studio experiments, which wound through a number of paths on their way to the project's eventual collapse. while there would be further acoustic demos recorded with sean, i ultimately decided to abandon their folky underpinnings and finish all further tracks as electronic, instrumental recordings. a tour ep of the final recordings exists as inri059. 

the recording was initially sequenced as a demo in mid may, 2002 but i foolishly deleted the files (i was running low on hard drive space) only to find out that the burn was corrupt and that the result was skipping. i did eventually recompile an ep of material, but it was in a different order and made no attempt to mix the tracks together. in reconstructing the demo, i've decided to recreate the original sequencing. the only difference between this collection and the initial collection is that the last track now includes sean's vocals, whereas it was initially an (eventually rendered incomplete) instrumental recording. 

i need to be clear that the decision in sequencing the material this way is unilateral on my behalf. during this period, sean had made it clear that he was not satisfied with the more experimental and electronic tendencies underlying some of the tracks; specifically, he wasn't happy with the first or last tracks on this disc, as he felt they did not represent his vision for the project. on the other hand, i was less interested in purely acoustic music and more interested in electronic music. i was envisioning the project as having a split personality between an acoustic live presentation and an electronic studio presentation. sean argued this would be disorienting; it's less that i disagreed with him and more that i thought that was a good idea. this divergence in vision is one of the factors leading to the project's dissolution. 

while i feel this recording stands up on it's own, i've also taken the time over the second half of 2014 to reclaim some of the tracks as my own instrumental works. only tracks two and four exist uniquely as rabit is wolf collaborations; the other four tracks have been resequenced as completed instrumentals in my main recording sequence. 

written and recorded in late 2001 and early 2002. initially sequenced in may, 2002. re-sequenced and first released in june, 2002. re-released in slightly different forms from 2002-2014. resequenced to mimic the original sequencing and re-released on november 8, 2014. except to sequence the record, these files have not been altered since 2002. disc finalized as lp013 on nov 3, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2002, 2014, 2017). 

released june 20, 2002 

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, classical), effects, bass, synthesizers, digital piano, electric air reed organ, flute, drum programming, drum manipulations, vocal manipulations, loops, sequencing, sampling, digital wave editing, production, cover art. 
sean - vocals, lyrics, harmonica (1), ring modulator (6). 

greg - drum performance sample source (5,6) 
jon - guitar performance (2)

Monday, May 24, 2021

let me clear about this, though - don't connect your xp machine to the internet. ever.

at this point, i only have one controller with internet access that i take files off and with an external drive, and keep everything else off the intranet.

that's the one issue, but you don't want your recording machine online, anyways.
i will do things with 20 year-old gear that you will take 20 years to understand.
yes, i'm using cubase.

sx. 3.

on xp.

hey, it works; the only issue i've ever had with it is overloading due to the 4 gb ram limit in the 32 bit os. the new sample libraries simply need more ram. but, it's going to be matlab that is going to pull me in to the 64 bit os recording world, finally. it was actually matlab that forced me to upgrade from 98 to xp around 2005 - and while i've upgraded my hardware, i've stuck with 32-bit xp ever since.

i'm ultimately the type that likes a stable, steady daw over the newest bells and whistles. from the time i got my jx/ry30 combo in the late 90s (which would have been cutting edge ten years earlier, but was just high quality last gen by the time i snagged it), i've always been about making the most of the previous generation of gear - and you'll note that i tend to actually use the features in my gear, rather than just upgrade it every six weeks to look cool.

if you're getting good equipment, it should last twenty years before you exhaust it, by which time you have another generation of supposedly last-gen gear to actually understand and make actual use of.

i'd rather listen to a talented programmer on a 20 year old tower that really knows how to use the gear because they've spent the time with it than some talentlesss rich kid fucking around with the shiniest, newest toys.

so, i'll stick with sx 3 for now, thanks.

but it's almost time to upgrade to a system that would have been cutting edge around 2015 or so.
the idea is that i'm trying to keep the calcium away from the iron, so i'll put the yogurt and cheese in a pre-salad before i have my spices-heavy salad. for now, anyways.
it took me all of this time to eat up all of the spinach, and i've still got tons of yogurt, so i'm replacing the spinach with pasta (which will eventually be replaced with quinoa) for my pre-meal bowl. so, there's my betaine shift, for now.

but, i got some kale last time i was out, so my new-normal side salad just got a huge movement towards stability, as well.
ok, i gotta eat.

inri077

so, i actually ended up spending the morning digitizing the last old cassette i have so that i can put it away, along with this old portastudio i recorded it on, via the same alesis over asio connection i was using previously. i'll reinstall this afternoon. and, i've even uploaded it as a temp mix to the cassette demo ep, which is not closed but i think is now constructed.

i vaguely recall recording this in sarah's apartment as a starting point one night when she was out, and it's really the only way to make sense of it existing at all. i ended up living in sarah's space (which she shared with a friend named heather) for a few weeks because my retarded step-mother tossed me out of the house for correctly calling her delusional - because she was - and refusing to apologize - because it was true. you can claim that was foolish, but where do i get by denying the actual truth? she made an absurd accusation that can only be described by her deluding herself about reality. apologizing for pointing that out would be equivalent to also denying reality and being equally delusional. like, it wasn't an insult, it was a statement of fact! so, if i were to apologize for stating the truth, it would be equivalent to accepting her delusions as true, which would be a denial of reality, and for what? i can't sacrifice truth like that. i can't walk down this dystopic path. so, if you want to accuse me of foolishness, let's at least be accurate about it - the foolishness is actually rooted in an inability to interface with nonsense. this wasn't about my ego, it was about refusing to walk into a dystopia and refusing to separate myself from reality in the process. i'd read too much orwell, i just couldn't handle it. and i knew that the next step would be even worse - that accepting one nonsense as truth would merely lay a basis for accepting more nonsense as truth. it was a shitty outcome, no doubt, but i had to stick to the facts, here - i had to hold to my principles.

truth > family. you have to protect your brain, you have to protect your sanity, or you'll end up as fucked up as everybody else, in the end.

so, i ended up without anywhere to sleep - something i'd never dealt with before (except on the trip to bc i'd just come back from) and wasn't actually taking seriously. in addition to learning that my stepmother was retarded, i learned a little bit about how to fend for myself. but, in the end, i decided i'd rather stay with sarah for a bit, anyways. 

but, i lost access to my computer and recording interface...

as such, i called up my friend greg, who had been using the tascam. i mean, i didn't need it - i had the soundblaster live interface. but, now i did. proto-anarchist jessica knew how to distribute property efficiently. the only reasonable timeframe when i would have made this recording is therefore when i was staying with sarah, after i picked up the item from greg (who got a little bit annoyed about it) - which would have been the fall of 2003.

in the end, i just forgot about this recording, and am kind of wondering where the tape with "like divine amoebas" went, as i have more developed memories around recording that track than this one. i mean, this doesn't actually go anywhere just quite yet, even if the dual guitars are kind of harmonically interesting as intertwined sections. that said, this is my next major recording project, as well, and it will form the missing piece of my 8th record (a massive 2xlp set of lengthy pieces, all four of them labeled as symphonies) when it's done.

i will probably do something further with this exact recording, though, as i finally work out the lost symphony. as it is, as rough and unfinished as it is, it's easy enough to extrapolate my mindset at the time, in this kind of dour gira-influenced dirge through this dissonant harmonic cycle of down strokes.

if this is from late 2003 as it must be then it is by far the earliest recording of it that i have. i tried to record it in late 2004 and over 2005, but got distracted and ended up writing xenophanes, instead. so, this comes in last in the sequence of four intertwined symphonic works, but it was actually meant to be the third piece, before xenophanes interjected itself in between. and, that's why it got lost - i pivoted out of the trivial group before i finished it, as i so often did back then. and so often do still now....

are there further demos? well, i can't answer that question thoroughly until i'm sure what happened to the other tape. i digitized it in early 2004, so i haven't lost anything in being unable to locate it. but, i'm sort of sure that it was actually around, too.

for now, these are the only two tracks i have from that brief phase, both demoes of songs that would be completed later and elsewhere, and this is the document i can construct.

by my count, this should end up as inri077 and is essentially now done - along with inri075, inri078, inri079, inri080, inri081, inri082, inri084 and inri085. it is inri076 that will need the attention and could take me most of the summer to complete. and, that will take me up to the summer of 2004. inri083 (impressionist jazz punk, first take) and inri086 (cycles per second lp) will then require some thought as to how to approach.

new upload:


full ep, so far:
this is going to be a temp install because i'm still testing the ram - which seems to be fine, so far. i think the board was just dusty...
alright, so i got through one stack of cds and all of the cassettes, save one, and i'm deciding to go ahead and reinstall rather than continue filing because i have to to archive the cassette. there have been some minor hardware changes that will require updating the script, but i guess i'll have to just deal with it.

this machine has been in a broken state for years, as i spent a very long time troubleshooting what i decided in the end was an environmental signals problem. so, i ripped everything to do with the windows xp subsystem out and just finished the last mixes i was dealing with over asio drivers. and want to put it back, now.

i simply don't know what the signals are like down here, and am long overdue to find out.

the install is automated but it's lengthy so that's likely the morning.
i've come to tolerate hippies.

but, i'll never like them.
today's post is inri056, the single for the track time.

as mentioned, the suggestion that i ought to write folk music hit me as a sort of a mind fuck, as i didn't actually listen to folk music. i consequently had to kind of recalibrate myself, and i'll admit i like a good challenge, but i ultimately had to draw on some of the post-punk, progressive and psychedelic music that i actually understood, and not this weird white bourgeois thing that i had no real meaningful grasp of. in hindsight, i realize that sean had like jefferson airplane and the beegees around the house, in place of the crimson and genesis and floyd i had lying around, so he was able to conceptualize this in ways that i had always culturally othered. again: that wasn't clear to me then, and he may not have been aware just how not into hippie culture i really was, at the time. i mean, he knew i was an old timey punk rocker, but you'd have had to pick at the surface to get me to go into an anti-hippie rant and i doubt that actually happened.

is the result compelling? i think it is, but this is about as much as i could have squeezed out of this, and i'm already breaching the walls as it's unfolding. i quickly found myself getting bored with what sean wanted and missing jam sessions, myself...

so, these tracks kind of sat, as i felt kind of stuck. i had ideas, but they didn't fit into this bullshit folk thing, and i resented being stifled, even if i was stifling myself. i always knew i had to finish them without sean, eventually.

in the end, the b-side here (psi) was left unaltered because it's just too good a pairing to disassemble (intentionally or not, the demo ended up done in the end, after all. that happens sometimes.), but the primary track was completely remastered and blown up into something else, entirely. the way this was rebuilt was really as a consequence of the fact that the constituent tracks sounded outstanding through remastering plugins. i put the guitar part through a reverb and slowed it down a little and it just caved my head in; i put the bass solo through an amp simulator, and it just came to life. i guess it demonstrates how powerful the tune might have been even at the time, if i was still approaching it from the more creative perspective i was with clarity, rather than trying to tone it down to be more palatable for a pop audience.  

don't get me wrong: sean's vocals near the end of the track are pretty epic, but it's not a coincidence that this could have been played in between a radiohead song and a smashing pumpkins song on a modern rock radio station in 2002 and his vocals are otherwise reflective of the fact that that's really where his head was at, and i was consequently all of a sudden in the unwanted situation of just trying to manufacture a product for the market....

but, of all of the saves i did over this period, this save is perhaps the most substantive - i took a competent if unremarkable pop song and turned it into a real psychedelic gem, as i had long intended to do. so, get some headphones, please - this is some lush shit.

=====

time & psi were partially a rejection of the folk idea in favour of glossy, somewhat experimental pop. i realized that it was reasonable to move in a more commercial direction, but folk wasn't something i understood well, so it was a weird direction for me to be moving in. experimental or psychedelic pop, on the other hand, was something i had a solid grasp on... 

time had been initially recorded in the fall and was remixed in late february to integrate a drum part. no original files exist. psi was recorded quickly in early march. 

the track, as it existed in rabit, was a conscious pop compromise. i had ideas that weren't explored to keep it poppy and that have been expanded upon in the remixes. 

the time machine is added here as a bonus track. it's based on an earlier classical guitar composition that was always meant to be reinterpreted as an idm tune and finally was in early 2014. the thematic overlap makes it relevant, but there is otherwise no connection between the two songs. 

i started working on what would become my seventh symphony very shortly after the material on this ep was completed, and it really represents the point where i lost interest in rabit as a concept, under pressure to continue moving in a direction i didn't have any interest in. there are folk and psych versions of the track; sean never caught on to the psych version, and i never had my heart in the folk version. there were final folk demos recorded as late as the fall, but the disconnect was not solvable. the vocal version of the seventh symphony is in some way a corollary of but is ultimately too separate from these files to include here. psi & time, together, consequently comprise what is the fourth and final ("psychedelic pop") phase of rabit is wolf. 

written & recorded in late 2001 and early 2002 and mixed in early 2002 and late 2014. released on nov 19, 2014. expanded, re-released and finalized on nov 2, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the 2014 instrumental version (tracks 1 &2) appears on my sixth record, jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj^2 (inri063): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2 

the 2002 vocal mix appears on the rabit is wolf demo (inri057): 
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/rabit-is-wolf 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2002, 2014, 2017). 

released march 10, 2002 

j - electric & acoustic guitars, bass, synthesizers, digital effects & treatments, drum manipulations, programming, digital wave editing, loops, sound design, production, composition. 
sean - vocals, lyrics (3,7) 

greg - drum performance sample source (1-3, 5-6) 

the rendered electronic orchestra on track 8 includes acoustic bass, synth bass, electric bass, brass, orchestra hit, drum machine, electronic drum kit, nylon guitar, electric guitar, synthesizer effects, music box, piano, bells and mellotron.

Sunday, May 23, 2021

so, i spent the morning filing and tried to stop to nap before i ate, and then eat before i napped, and it ended up a confusing mess, but i think i got enough sleep to carry forward for the night, so long as the air quality in here doesn't degrade too badly.

the guy is supposed to be gone, but his replacement cop and/or daughter and/or mother seems to be up there instead, and she's the actual source of both the smoke and the other smells and the vicious a/c. i actually asked him to turn the a/c off before he left; so much for that, huh? it's freezing in here :(.

the guy i interface with is broadly reasonable, but this woman that fills in for him is a horrible, self-centered piece of shit that should be dragged through the streets attached to the back of a car.

i know this person is female because i can hear them and because i can smell them - they smell like a female, and not in a good way. but, they smoke, so they have no idea. again - it's the worst undercover cop in the history of the world, which i suppose is why she does these substitute roles.

i mean, we all remember how bad the substitute teachers were. imagine substitute stakeout cops. 

"officer malone is gone, parrrrtaaaayyyy!"

and, i'm only slightly exaggerating. she seems to be entirely retarded, and that seems to be roughly her level of operation.

so, because she cranked the air up as soon as he left (despite repeated requests to not do that and...why would somebody pay to run an a/c in an empty room? that alone makes it obvious somebody is up there.), i had to start filling in the baseboard cracks with sealer to stop the place from condensing up. i'm also going to go in the next few days and get some vinyl mats for that corner. and, we'll take it from there for the next round.

if i can potentially get through this stack of cds by the end of the night, i'd consider that massive progress.
it's not even a question of whether i'm getting paid or not.

i don't support the ad revenue model, and i don't want advertising for external products on my writing. you could write me a check for a million dollars in ad revenue, and i'd turn it down if it meant ruining the site with ads.

and, let's be clear: ads just ruin content. there's no subtle way to put it - your site is just flat out ruined, once the ads come up on it.
so, is blogger next for the enforced ads from google?

i'd suspect it's a matter of time, and then that's the end of this - i'm out.

web hosting costs seem to have come down a lot since i looked into this last....this is now a major site, and maybe it's time to take that step. it shouldn't be hard to essentially migrate it in tact.
do you really want to wait in line for an extra two hours while the security guards and border officers clunkily check everybody for covid papers? 

it's just a cold virus...the hysteria is absurd....

so, let's leave this in the hands of science, please, and not allow for ignorance fueled by media hysteria. we're going to eventually collectively realize that we have to live with this thing and look back and laugh at how stupid we all were.

the one reasonable exception is for the geriatric facilities, or general contact with the weak or elderly. and, i would have argued you should have needed a flu shot to get into an old folks home, too.
there is no royal road to communism.
so, today's been a little weird. i fell asleep halfway through eating this morning around 9:00 and wasn't really awake until midway through the afternoon. so, i finished my eggs and spent the evening archiving the oxford posts (which i meant to do a while ago and didn't) and the night just kind of got away from me...
it actually seems that music is so bad nowadays that the kids consider mcr and other viciously bad 00s emo to be art rock from a better era.

listen, kids. i lived through that, and all the artists at the time thought we were living through the death of art - and seem to have been right.

i know it's harsh, and perhaps a little bit difficult, but you have to actually look at the music your grandparents and in truth even greatgrandparents liked if you want something substantive, as your parents went through basically the same feelings of dystopia and disgust at existence and modern "art" that you're going through, too.
today's post is the epic prog-folk track, 9:46 outside of the magenta box, reclaimed as the instrumental fuck boxes, and catalogued today as inri055.

it was actually sean's idea to move to a more acoustic-focused sound, out of apparent disinterest in the technology, which was my thing at the time. i've always had wide tastes, but the things in my cd changer at the time were along the lines of skinny puppy, tortoise, autechre, steve reich (specifically, a nonesuch remix collection), mike oldfield, syr period sonic youth - that's where my brain was, and wanted to be, this kind of overlap of lush electronic music with horizontally complex arrangements stemming from the jazz and classical worlds (and is heard, now, in the jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj sequence). so, i kind of got a little ambushed by the suggestion that we focus more on folk music, as a way to produce a more organic sound, for the sake of being less techy, less abstract and less complicated. that was not where my head was; "organic" and "simple" were the last things on my mind, at the time.....

that said, i had mentioned to him that his vocal tone was a little like michael stipe, who was a big influence on me growing up. years later, i would realize the similarity in tone with jordan dreyer, but this was still 2001/2002 and la dispute did not yet exist, i don't think - and i even think that sean would have had more in common with a jordan dreyer at that point in life than i would have or than we did with each other. i wanted to write abstract electronic noise, as i always had...but, if anything, i was actually the one to realize that it wasn't the best way to maximize use of his vocals, even if i sort of resisted my own realization. inri054 (clarity) is more like what i wanted rabit to be like, even if sean's vocals are maybe more suited for this presentation. so, it made sense to look in opposite directions, even if i ended up shifting gears entirely within a few months, myself.

so, maybe he (i?) was right, but it didn't make me more excited about it, and if what he really wanted was to start a folk band then i probably wasn't his most ideal collaborator in the long run, either. and, as mentioned previously, he was supposed to be the weird goth kid, not me. i was just an all around total nerd. as pragmatic as it was, it seems to have also been a fairly substantive change in identity for sean, as well. i think he would have laughed at the idea of himself singing folk music, five years earlier....and i probably wouldn't have walked down this path if i knew it would end up as a folk duo, in the end.

it wasn't long after that he showed up with a neutral milk hotel cd that i found to be pretty unspectacular and undeveloped, but he got a lot out of. like, they just sounded like half-finished pumpkins demos or something - i flat out thought it was boring. so, i didn't follow his lead into that, but i got the point and made the mental adjustments. in later years, sean would become your kind of standard indie rock loser, big into pretentious garbage like the animal collective - and we haven't talked much, since.

as apprehensive as i may have been, i realized the logic in the idea, as well. i mean, this is 2001/2002. how were we going to play these songs in public? neither of us had laptops, let alone cell phones, and sean wasn't useful to me as an actual performing musician. there was really only one way to do this, and it was to haul the entire pc tower into the bar, run it out in parallel with a single guitar part and then let sean be the focus of attention on stage. it would essentially reduce to sean doing karaoke over backing tracks i had written and pre-recorded, while i sat in the shadows and diddled around with things. i still don't think that this kind of thing is palatable as live music, but it certainly wasn't at all in 2002. so, if we were going to do this, we would have to find a more presentable format.

it never got off the ground as intended, but that's how this happened - he wanted to play in front of actual people (something i've never cared much for, myself) so we had to find a way to make music that could be performed in public.

the magenta box is a reference to the hmv that sean worked at, and not a reference to female sexual organs or records by sunny day real estate, which is something i was into (there's a borrowed guitar part from 8 on my first demo, from 1996) and never heard sean or jon talk about.

unfortunately, i don't think either of us found the new direction of the project to be appealing enough to be pragmatic about it, at least not at first. so, it kind of dispersed due to my own preference for electronic music and studio musicianship and sean's need to find a way to actually perform in front of actual people. in hindsight, though, after finishing this as an instrumental recording, i'm definitely proud of it.

so, this is a pivot and that pivot finishes the project and closes the project down, but it also kills it off. 

====

my memory is a little fuzzy with this track, other than that it was constructed all at once in the middle of the night on a cold february morning in a basement that wasn't well heated. 

i believe that sean initially brought in the a capella vocal that is heard in the acoustic demo under the request that it be developed in a folky style, and the track was built from there. we seem to have done the live version the next week, meaning i must have written it over the week. 

there was some hard drive corruption as the demo was being recorded. i was in a glitchy mindset at the time and decided the skips ought to be interpreted musically. i'm not sure i'd make the same choice now, but i'm not willing to second guess myself, either. so, i skittered up the bass and organ parts to make the entire track sound glitchy to compensate for the skips. i also ran the vocal file through a musical algorithm that involved slowing it down and pasting it over itself to create a collage of voices somewhat similar to a robotic choir. as the track is otherwise rather pastoral, all of this glitch provides for an unusual juxtaposition. 

as mentioned, the track was built up quickly, but it was always meant as a demo. that is to say that the vocal-driven 2002 version of the track was not complete, and was never completed. 

i came around to completing it as an instrumental work in mid october, 2014. the removal of sean's vocals required some mild rethinks in terms of melodic content, but the real additions are threefold. first, it is substantially remixed to make it sound thicker. second, some sound design or soundscaping was constructed, mostly for the beginning of the track, but some guitar parts were also added throughout. third, drums were added. this converts the track out of folk (a genre i spend almost no time in) and back into psychedelic pop (my usual home) with hints of fusion, prog and idm. as it is, this can be viewed as the definitive (if non-comprehensive) third incarnation of rabit is wolf, which was being torn between freak folk and folk punk tendencies in it's general tumbling towards "folk". 

written in early 2002 and recorded and mixed in early 2002 and late 2014. released on nov 15, 2014. expanded, re-released & finalized on nov 1, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the 2014 instrumental version appears on my sixth record, jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj^2 (inri063): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2 

the 2002 vocal mix appears on the rabit is wolf demo (inri057): 
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/rabit-is-wolf 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2002, 2014, 2015, 2017). 

released february 20, 2002 

j - guitars, effects, bass, electric air reed organ, electronic drum kit, voice (1, 5, 6, 8), sampling, sound design, vocal manipulations, digital wave editing, production 
sean - vocals/lyrics (2,3,4)

Saturday, May 22, 2021

also, give the treble a boost on that one, if you can. 

i mix everything for headphones at fairly high volume, which means i assume people are reconstructing the high end via the amplification process. but, the mp3 compression seems to be interfering with that on the stream.

the bass on this particular track is very thick and saturated by design, so it cuts through the compression, but the highs don't, so you get that imbalance.

so, just roll the highs up to bring them back, if you can.

that shouldn't be necessary from a full quality source at sufficient volume. and, of course, the other choice is to sacrifice some of the bottom, or to exaggerate the highs before lossy compression - and i don't want to mix for streaming mp3. yuck.
ok, i'm finding - and i can't get consistency with different tracks on this - that this particular track gets better reproduction via low quality mp3 compression as a source when it's sent into an amp at relatively high volume, and cranked at the amp stage.

i mixed everything through an alesis 16 track recorder (it's a sound interface with a firewire connection) as a sound card, so it standardizes to that. and, i'm using the same amp. but, i was lining it all out in cd-quality through a pair of old sennheisers, not streaming it from bandcamp into a thinkpad running the chrome os.

as far as low quality laptops go, this one is actually not that bad. but, it is what it is.

so, i find that some tracks sound better when you plug the headphones directly into the chromebook, whereas others sound better when i send it into the amp, first. the difference is really mostly about levels, and the bottom line is that the chromebook simply can't produce audio at the right volume. so, when i get simpler mixes, i can tell less, but when i get these saturated mixes, i just need the ponies, and that's all there is to it.

so, it's certainly a lot better through an amp - even with the same headphones, and ultimately using the same line out from the same stream.

i always remind you to use headphones, and you need it to be loud enough to hear it, because i'\m not doing loudness wars shit.
fwiw, inri054 - clarity, the file i just posted - is one of the tracks that doesn't compress to a 128 mbps stream very well.

and, i have no solution besides to access it in better quality by purchasing it.
likewise, i believe the arab name for russia was "al-asscold".
supposedly, the arab name for china was "al-assfar". 

this is in addition to "al-andalus", which means "ass end of the earth".

so, we see the arab description of spain and china as being somewhat equivalent - there is the ass end, and the far assed. and, who can really dispute such descriptions? china's about as far-ass away as can be.
we all know about the nazi torture camps, where the victims were jews, gypsies and slavs - plus communists, and anybody else that the germans wanted to clear out to create lebensraum.

we don't seem to know much about the equivalent japanese experimentation on the chinese, koreans, philipinos, vietnamese, indians, etc - plus communists and other groups deemed undesirable by the emperor. of course.

but, this happened.

there were death camps, experiments - the whole shebang, to go along with the systematic rape and slaughter...

today's post is the first rabit is wolf single completed in it's second phase, once the talentless, arrogant ass guitarist got turfed for not showing up and then whining like a child about it.

as mentioned before, this material is fundamentally different than the more serious pieces i was working on for my own projects, even if i would eventually reclaim the piece as instrumental. so, it's both something else entirely and a kind of a throwback to the more song-oriented material from the inri phase.

sean never liked this piece, which i suspect is about.....me. he never consented to putting it on the album/demo. but, i think it's the best thing we did.

while both sean and jon were at the drive-in fans, i was not interested in that type of commercial rock music at that time and mostly wrote it off as boring radio music with a nasty "nu metal" vibe, the latter of which is something that neither sean or i liked (but jon did), and something i held in much more contempt than sean did. i think sean at least listened to a lot of nu-metal influenced or nu-metal integrated stuff. i couldn't stand the stuff - i took reznor's side, ideologically, in denouncing it as the low point of music. and, in hindsight, wasn't that correct?

nonetheless, it is curious to note the overlaps in approach that this recording has with the tremulant ep, which was happening roughly contemporaneously (although i was more trying to emulate the division of labour seen in early skinny puppy). this could also pass as very early witch house...

=====

the core loops involved in clarity were initially created in the late summer of 2001, with the intent of being the opening sequence in a new inri project (with the long kicked-around working title of 'trinri'). while i had fairly firmly put the inri moniker down around my 19th birthday (late 1999), i was also coming out of a lengthy "serious music" phase and was getting a desire to write in a more structured, synth-pop type direction, as i had for years previously. this urge was happening about the same as i was being coerced into starting a rock band with some high school acquaintances. 

around october, i started working on a separate noise project that was meant to splice harsh electronic noise with anarchist politics. this produced two tracks at the time, which are now available as a short single as inri051. at the time, it wasn't clear to me where those ideas would lead. 

by november it was clear that the rock band wasn't happening, but it turned out the singer had tastes that correlated reasonably well with what i was thinking about creating for the trinri project. these two projects consequently merged into rabit is wolf, and the material i was kicking around for use in trinri ended up becoming the core of what rabit is wolf became. 

as i was recording parts for clarity, i ended up reusing ideas from the noise project. i further reused those ideas in constructing a 2004 noise collage for inclusion on the record that finally came out of the noise project. both noise collages are present in order to comprehensively explore the ideas existing within clarity. 

zen was recorded with sean over december, 2001. i have chosen not to complete a version of the wave (inri053) that was also being discussed at the time, but would have fit into this release well, conceptually. 

clarity was completed (with vocals) over january, 2002. the nature of rabit (along with the songs i had written for it) took a sharp turn towards folk almost immediately. this collection is consequently quite different than the official rabit demo, which is much more song-oriented. over the years, i've always wanted to have a rabit release that was darker, noisier and more chaotic and am glad to have it in the form of this ep-single, which could be viewed as a secondary demo. put another way, this is the comprehensive representation of the second (electro/noise/industrial) incarnation of rabit is wolf. 

however, there are two factors complicating clarity as a solely rabit is wolf production. the first is that sean was never really happy with the result - a shame as i consider his vocal performance and lyrics to be the best of the songs we did together. the second is that i always felt the track was "mine" and should have had an instrumental mix. that is, i've always regretted not saving an instrumental mix. 

for these reasons, i've revisited the track as an instrumental and left two snapshots - 11/2001 and 01/2002. the second snapshot becomes the final mix. 

recorded in late 2001 and early 2002. track 6 was constructed in may, 2004 out of files recorded 1999-2001. tracks 1-4 were reconstructed over october, 2014. final mixes were finished on october 18, 2014. released on oct 21, 2014. disc closed on oct 30, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version (track 4) appears on my sixth record, jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj^2 (inri063): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj-2 

the 2002 vocal mix appears on the rabit is wolf demo (inri057): 
jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/rabit-is-wolf 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2001, 2002, 2004, 2014, 2017). 

released february 1, 2002 

j - guitars (electric, acoustic, nylon), mandolin, sequencers, synthesizers, drum & melodic programming, electric air reed organ, digital piano, flute, drum kit, sampling, digital and analog effects processing, digital wave editing, sound design (loops, granular synthesis, noise generators), production 
sean - vocals/lyrics (3,5), harmonica (4,5)

ok. 

i'm pissed off about this, clearly. this is a longstanding annoyance with government micromanagement that is going to kill me in the end if it's not reversed, but there's not a lot i can do besides eat less, so there's no use in getting upset about it. let's just try to construct the diet so it's as efficient as possible, as it comes up...

but, if have a heart attack in the mean time, i take no responsibility for it, and my blood is on the government's hands.

so, i stopped on thursday to clean and didn't really get much done. i'm in for a few days now, at least. i clearly skipped the alter-reality for the day, but i'm going to avoid getting back to the diet run through until monday and spend the weekend rebuilding the recording pc, instead.

let's catch up on the posts, at least.
i'm essentially going through menopause.

that's what's wrong, right now - not colon cancer.
i can't sit around and wait for this.

if i'm stuck with a hormone balance that i don't want, i need to find ways to keep my vitamin intake high while reducing calories to absolutely minimal levels. this wasn't a problem when i was on estrogen pills that worked, but i now have both low testosterone (which is desirable) and low estrogen, and the result is my metabolism has slowed down.

so, i need to adjust by reducing the number of calories. that simple...
and, i simply don't understand why vitamin d is covered for people with absorption issues (when it's mostly synthesized) and vitamin e isn't (when it isn't synthesized at all).

there's no logic in any of this. it's driving me nuts.
i don't want muscle.

i don't want to look like a fucking retarded jock.
i'm going to start starving myself before i consider converting the fat into muscle.
i'm gaining weight very quickly.

i don't have colon cancer.

i have declining estrogen levels because the generic product doesn't work - that's what's going wrong, right now.
my doctor's been wasting my time with specious concerns about colon cancer, and i've gained 30 pounds of fat around my stomach in the mean time due to declining estrogen levels that i don't want to convert into muscle, and am consequently allowing to build up.

it's a catastrophe.

and, the world is full of retards that want me to accept it because it's "natural". fucking idiots..
i mean, it's maybe an underlooked question, but it's really the reality in front of me...

what happens when you have one side of your family with healthy, fit genes and the other side with defective, unhealthy, horrible unfit genes? genes aren't quite what we once thought they were - we can turn them off and on with hormones, and we largely retain genetic memories going back not to just your parents but to our distant ancestors. 

so, people tell me i look like my mother or my aunt, and it's not some accident - the estrogen is expressing the genes on my mother's side and the testosterone suppression is repressing the genes on my father's side.

now, you might claim that appearance is trivial. but, my father's side has terrible cholesterol, and my cholesterol has been outstanding for as long as i've been on the hormones. it's consequently easy to predict that i'm going to end up stuck with terrible cholesterol if i go off the hormones, and that there's almost nothing i can do about it except die young of a heart attack. did your god decide that for me?

now, you can tell me to take cholesterol lowering medications instead, but why would i want to do that when i can take estrogen, and it works to suppress the gene expression?

i've been distracted by the iron, but i need to refocus on the actual issue, which is my hormones, and try to get my estrogen back up into a healthier, higher range - before my genetic predisposition to high ldl kills me off.
i mean, this is a big part of the reason why i decided not to breed - my gene line needs to end. it's not fit. i don't want to burden anybody else with these genetics, that are responsible for virtually every health condition you could imagine.

the result of declining estrogen is going to be that i'm going to break a hip from osteoporosis, then have a heart attack from declining hdl and bleed to death from poor iron absorption - and it's all due to atrocious genes inherited from my terribly unfit father, and that i can only turn off by repressing with estrogen.
i've inherited so many terrible genes from that side of the family...

i need the estrogen to turn them off, or i'm going to die very young, like everybody else on that side does. and, it's really that simple - if i can't get back to high circulating estrone to undo the bad genes, i'm not likely to make it to 55 and may not even make it to 50.
ugh.

so, i'm looking at potentially shifting to injections to get my estrogen levels up, but the effects i'm looking for - like boosts in hdl and decreases in ldl - are a consequence of estrone metabolism, and simply don't happen anymore when you skip first pass.

so, i might get my serum estrogen up a little if i jump to injections, but it won't actually help with anything substantive - i'll just have more estrogen in my blood. i need the estrone up if i want the beneficial effects of hormone replacement, and that has to be done orally.

but, i can't book the surgery because of the pandemic, and i can't get access to useful oral estrogen because of property rights.

it's a complete disaster - and i'm going to end up overweight, iron deficient, with bad cholesterol and potentially with osteoporosis if it carries on for much longer.

i need to get back on brand name estrace asap - i'm going to be putting myself in major health risks if i don't, because my father's genes are defective in a dozen ways, and it's the only way around it.
actually, i just checked and none of the remaining minerals i wanted to check for are even covered...:(.

Friday, May 21, 2021

and, yet our cases counts are proportionally much higher, at this point - and, we're talking about lockdowns until labour day and extending the border closure until next year.

so, what does that tell you?

i wish we would have continued with the antibody testing....

i thought i was getting enough b12 because:

- a cup of soy milk has 50% of the rdi. that was constant, every day, for breakfast. i was also eating ice cream every morning.
- i was eating lots of cheese. you're looking at another 30%/day.
- i was getting the rest from salami in the pasta and with the eggs, and from the eggs themselves.
- and, i'd get a burger or some bacon or whatever once in a while when i was out.

i might have been on the lowish side, granted, but it should have added up. but, it's seeming like it might have been on the lowish side of low, even - around 130ish - and it could have very well been a part of the problem. i don't know for sure, i wasn't tested....

i've since added nutritional yeast and yogurt to the breakfast, i've tripled my soy intake, i've added (and removed) fortified yogurt and added (and kept) nutritional yeast to the salad, and i'm eating eggs every day, too.

so, i've gone from 120% to 1200%.

the nutritional yeast is working, it seems.
i got partial lab results in...

vitamin a - pending
vitamin e - not covered by ohip (can i get it covered?)
vitamin k - not covered by ohip (can i get it covered?)
copper - pending

i left the remaining elements for next week.

a without e & k won't give me as much information about my colon as i want, especially given that a, like d, is actually synthesized from precursors, in addition to being directly absorbed. so, i could very well be getting a ton of beta-carotene and unable to absorb retinol. it's the e & k that were really useful, here.

further, after checking for iron & zinc, the next thing to check for is copper - because zinc can interfere with copper.

i at least got the following results:

- b12 is now at 304. so, i've had this tested three times now and it's gone up each time - from 233 to 251 to 304. does that make sense? well, b12 is one of the things i keyed in on when i updated my diet. i should have been getting enough, or so i thought, but the ms-like migraine attacks i was having could be explained by a b12 deficiency. i mentioned this to him already, this idea that i should actually be expecting my b12 levels to be climbing because i took my intake way up, and i may have been a little deficient. but, the reason he insisted on checking was that he was sure i had celiac (ugh. fucking hipster.), and that should mean that his celiac theory is now totally dead. if he's rational...but, he's a doctor, dammit, he's not a logician. good thing there's one around, huh? i'm going to have to tell him it's highly illogical if he brings it up again...

you know that spock and mccoy never got along so well, right?

- my ferritin went up again, this time from 17 to 21. this is sort of the blurriest possible outcome. if it had gone way up, it would be easy to see i'm absorbing it; if it had gone down, it would be easy to see i must be bleeding. but, this small, steady uptick makes it hard to tell if i'm really just having that much difficulty with absorption, or if i'm actually bleeding after all and just barely absorbing enough to keep up with it.

i was off them for a few days at the start of the month, as well. at the very least, it seems to suggest i should stay on them.

it's moving in the right direction, at least.

but, i definitely need to do the poop test.
if i end up having to align with fundamentalist christians to defeat these dumb hippie multi-culturalists, so be it.

i don't like either of them, clearly - and i've spent my whole life fighting against christians.

but, we don't often get to choose our allies, and we can't be too picky about it when aligning to defeat religion in the classroom.
listen, i'm an atheist and what i want is a separation of church and state - no religion in the classroom. ever, at all. no exceptions.

but, this is one of a growing number of examples where the shift from liberalism to "progressivism" in the mainstream left is so anathema to my core values that it's leaving conservatives as the lesser evil, of the two.
deathtokoalas
and, the chinese are supposed to be the communists. lol.


deathtokoalas
we'll have to see if the cultural differences in china lead to different outcomes than happened in america, but i'm going to make a suggestion as to what i think is likely to happen.

for a long time, america had more jobs than there were people able to do those jobs, and that allowed for a union movement to develop that won substantive rights for the american working class, allowing it to usurp levels of wealth that are supposed to be reserved for the bourgoisie - and stabilizing the system, in the process. but, capital is always seeking to undercut everything it can to maximize profit by any means possible so it couldn't deal with that, and migrated to a society that had more people than jobs, thereby allowing it to exploit the labour more effectively once again - and create higher levels of profit. if the number of jobs in china is catching up to the number of people, what effects will that have? will capitalism transform itself under the more communitarian concepts of chinese culture?

i might rather suggest that you're already starting to see capital begin to move out of china and into countries like vietnam, but that in the long run the most likely destination point is africa.

and, so the question is perhaps a little bit different - will china react to it's abandonment by capital in the same way that the west did, or will the cultural differences, including a culture of stronger state interference, lead it to react differently to this ongoing and inevitably accelerating abandonment?

also: while the term "global south" may be looked down upon nowadays, china is neither geographically nor historically a member of that demographics. china exists in the northern hemisphere; it snows in beijing. and, it's also, historically, one of the centres of global trade. there's really no context at all where a discussion of china in the global south is at all coherent.

dave
China is already anticipating that Africa will be the future for low-skilled labor, which is why they are already starting to set up companies in Africa and also building the necessary infrastructure and framework for private companies to do business with african countries. The West mostly interacts with the bourgeoisie in Africa, while China is much more focused on interacting with the working class and with the states.

China is a huge country and it has in the north a border with Russia and in the south a border with Vietnam (Australia is in the southern hemisphere, but is of course part of the conceptual west). Also the "global south" is used to describe mostly income-low countries, but also countries which fought against the imperialistic forces of the "north".

deathokoalas
well, i think there's some naivete, here. but, this is the sort of great experiment in front of us - will marx be better realized in china, or will they just self-destruct and collapse into themselves like the west did? and, will capital allow itself to be transformed in china, or can it escape the transformation and flee elsewhere?

but, china was never colonized in that sense, either. it suffered a decline, but there were never colonial governors in china the way there were in india. and the chinese are even mostly white too. so, could it be that the brandt line had a little bit of specious racism baked into itself in assigning china to the south rather than the north?

dave
We can't forget that socialist countries who fail, are usually under fierce attack by the west, either by military force and/or by economic embargos. People have been predicting the collapse of China for decades but it is growing stronger and stronger instead. And lets not forget that the capitalist countries caused the last financial crisis and if China continues to rise like this it will cause the collapse of the Dollar, similar to the colapse of the British currency in the last century. Since China is a dictatorship "of the proletariat" it has not really trouble in controlling the capitalist class and there are many strict rules for the movement of capital, but also classical ways in which capitalists establish their power. Without propaganda from corporate media, corporate think tanks and lobbyist, it is quiete difficult to cause political transformations

China was a semicolony. Hong Kong was under British rule till 1997 with a british Governor and Macau was under the rule of Portugal. Also several other territories of China were either partly controlled by other countries or the imperealists had at least a very strong influence in those regions. Chinese people might have quite white pigmented skin, but white supremacy is not a function of skin pigmentation (in the US irish and italian people weren't considered as white for a time). Asian people aren't accepted as white in the west
 
deathtokoalas
did you watch the video? china is the current dominant capitalist state, and the video is about what happens when capitalism inevitably collapses there. i'm not wasting my time with people that think china is a communist state, or allowing you to base arguments on the absurd idea that china is repressing capitalism. what has happened is that china has stolen capitalism from the west, but now the question is whether it can keep it from abandoning it, as well. the rest of what is in this reply is utter nonsense.
 
the fact that china was able to license a port and maintain sovereignty around it indicates that they were not colonized, not that they were. it's important that you don't confuse colonialism - which involves eradicating the culture and sometimes even the people of a vanquished nation - with just losing a war. china lost the opium wars, but they were not colonized as a consequence of it. and, what white supremacists imagine that whiteness is - which often involves the integration of semitic religious values that did not exist, historically, in northern europe - has little to do with the phenotypic and genotypic fact that the chinese are ethnically and culturally white.
 
dave
China might be a pretty "capitalistic" state, but there is of course a huge difference between China's economic system and western economic systems and describing both as simply "capitalists" isn't helpful at all. China is repressing political capitalism and attempts of companies to rival or control  the state in certain areas. like they do in the West (https://www.marketwatch.com/story/ant-group-to-fall-under-chinese-government-oversight-as-alibabas-jack-ma-yields-to-regulators-11618229440)

"licensed" a port??? Seems you missed quiet a lot of chinese history: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Hong_Kong
And Chinese are obviously neither genotypic nor phenotipic white, I mean you can of course clearly distinguish between Chinese people and white poeple https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person_of_color
And the chinese culture has almost nothing to do with western culture and many white people actually look down on their culture

deathtokoalas
the video demonstrates very clearly that surplus value in china is extracted much more efficiently than it is in the uk. if you think that chinese attempts to regulate third-party websites are some kind of a repression of capitalism, and maximal efficiency of the extraction of surplus value isn't, then you're operating under strange, colloquial concepts of capitalism that demonstrate a poor understanding of what it actually is. further, those are essentially the same policies promoted by elizabeth warren, who considers herself a market fundamentalist, and is doing it in an attempt to increase competition. and, that's basic first year economics nowadays - markets don't reach points of equilibrium if left alone, but rather coalesce into oligopolies that need to be broken up by the state. that is not the opposite of capitalism, but the implementation of it, to anybody who hasn't drunk the pseudoscientific koolaid of hayekian libertarianism.

in david's topsy-turvy concept of economic theory, breaking up monopolies to foster competition is state interference and therefore communism - and capitalism is when the state allows those monopolies to develop by refraining from interfering in the inevitable market failure that follows from total laissez-faire approaches to "free markets". it's perfectly orwellian, in truth.

...and it suggests that david has neither read marx nor smith, let alone bothered with a first year course on the topic.
 
now, the british licensed ports all over europe during that period, including in gibraltar, in malta and in the crimea, and generally after winning a conflict. did the british colonize russia, spain and greece, as well? no...

the chinese lost a war and had to cede some territory for a while. that's great power competition, it's not colonization. and, they gave hong kong back - they're still in gibraltar. 

i would not consider the chinese to be people of colour, and neither have europeans, historically.  marco polo, for example, decided that they were white. it's actually something that developed primarily out of japanese racism towards china, and has contemporary roots in the cold war.

but, ask yourself how much chinese culture has to do with western culture the next time you see a chinese orchestra perform western classical music, or chinese students excel in western science at western universities - or, for that matter, have debates about western economics, whether it be an embrace of marxism or an application of neo-liberalism. while i agree that china has a very different historical development (china was not influenced by socrates or jesus or ceasar), and it approaches things from somewhat of a unique filter as a consequence of it, it has also fully embraced everything western in this period of pax americana - and partly because it is smart enough to see the value in doing so.

so, yes - i'm going to argue that the chinese are genetically and culturally white people that belong to the global north, and were always interpreted that way, historically. and i'll argue that suggesting otherwise is a consequence of specious racist stereotyping that came out of the japanese occupation (and were adopted by the west as a part of the cold war) and is not borne out by actual evidence.

dave
Look I am not stating that China is not a capitalist state, all I am saying is that the capitalism of the west is much worse then Chinas, the capitalism of the US fosters imperialistic wars and exploits people of the global south. Chinas economic system might not be perfect, but it's much better then the US. Can we agree on that?

THis wasn't supposed to show that China is a communist country, but that China's capitalist system is much less a laissez-fairemarket, which I think makes a huge difference and simply equatting Chinas economic system with west because both are "capitalist" doesn't allow any nuance

China tried to implement a more marxist system in the last century, but it failed. So I think that a much more graduale approach is much better for developing a socialist system. And if you want to implement a socialist/marxist system you won't be able to do it in a vaccum, so I think the approach of China to first develope itself, to build up economic capacities and to build up a trade network which spans around the whole globe, is a much smarter approach to achieving their goals. Lets not forget: the west will attack you if you try to be a socialist country, so by being a integral part of the capitalist global economy, China is protecting itself to what the West did to the Soviet Union, Cuba (total economic embargo) etc..

The theory of Marx and Smith and so on might be quiet accurate description of capitalist system, but if you can't integrate THEORY with hard geopolitical truths you are doomed to fail

deathtokoalas
i don't agree that china's capitalism is "better" than america's, at all, as though this is some kind of moral issue. that's a constant with fake left progressives nowadays - this constant moralizing that we used to associate with conservatism. but, let's put that aside and address the question, as loaded as it is. first, again, watch the video - the exploitation of the chinese worker is far greater than the exploitation of the american worker, partly because america has experienced a labour movement and china has not. the point of exporting capitalism to asia was to allow for greater exploitation of the worker, as the west had unions and asia does not. and, this is in line with marxist theory, which requires a socialization of production before socialism can develop. that is, marx would have predicted that chinese capitalism would be more vicious and more exploitative than american capitalism at this stage in development. second, the idea that china is not engaging in imperialism or triggering wars in the global south is simply not upheld by the evidence. the geopolitics of africa is a complicated, difficult topic, but trust me - china is a vicious imperialist actor in that region. china is also engaging in colonialism in south america, and is very openly interfering in the political system there, with the general aim of extracting resources with as minimal compensation as is possible. some countries in south america are actually even currently experiencing indigenous revolts against chinese exploitation under the false guise of "socialism".

in regards to your second third reply, the way i'm going to interpret it is to point out that i agree that the whole peasant revolution thing pushed by mao is incoherent within a marxist framework, which requires that capitalism precede socialism in the development of history. marxists refer to this theory as "historical materialism", and while it is certainly primarily pseudoscience, it does have that insight going for it: every attempt to skip the capitalist phase has led to failure, and i actually think it's easy enough to understand why. so, what happened in china after mao was the realization that, no, you really can't jump from a feudal society that was absolutely demolished in the second world war to fully automated luxury communism - you have to go through the hard parts in between, which means allowing for foreign capital to build industry, and a labour movement to develop and seize control. but, in the process, what is basically a fascist political party has taken hold of power in the country, and they're likely to stamp out any kind of possible labour movement with a force that is far greater than america ever did. remember tinanenman square, after all. there were blood baths in the early years of labour organizing in america, it is true, but restraint always won in the end, and all indications suggest that the chinese will show no such restraint, as they have no cultural tradition of things like rights or democracy. you're also confusing the west for capitalism, in your statements - you claim the west will attack you for being socialist, but it is in truth capital that will stamp out all dissent. and, china is the top dog of capitalism now, not the west. dust off the orwell, dave - you might need it.

dave
There are of course bad elements in capitalism, but to neglect its potential for development is totally wrong, even Marx knew that capitalism is very effective in creating higher living standards for people (at least a more Keynesian approach). Do chinese people get paid a lower wage and have worse working conditions then people from the West: Yes, of course they do. But the only thing people from poorer countries can offer is to work for less and the alternative to that letting you "exploit" yourself is greater poverty. While the chinese workers were "exploited", China experienced the largest reduction of poverty ever in human history. The living standards in China skyrocketed and to simply call this "a more vicious exploitation" has nothing to do with practical reality. Marx wrote his work focused on countries which are already developed, poorer countries will have of course much harder obstacles in achieving a transformation of their industries. You are way to focused on some theory, but it is extremely important to also analyze not only what is written in some books, but to look that the real, practical living conditions of people.

And about your point on imperialism: sorry I can't really just trust you there and I don't know what "evidence" you are seeing. China is actually much more cooperative with countries from the global south. Especially in Africa China is accepting what african countries have asked for a long time: economic interactions should be about trade and not about (conditional) aid. Furthermore, China is helping many countries to go higher up in the value chain which will have a huge effect

I think I see now where one of our main disagreements lies. You equate capitalism with imperialism and as soon you are a large capitalist country you automaticly turn into a imperialist power, but I totally disagree on that. Imperialism is caused by a burgeoisie which mostly controls the country and uses the state to further their business interest by exploting and subjugatting other countries (i.e. West India Company, United Fruit Company, Oil industry, military-industrial complex etc.). I don't equate the West with capitalism, I equate it with imperalistic capitalism, and it lis really laughable that you describe it as a system with a cultural tradition of rights and democracy. This tradition is reserved at the most maybe for white people, lets dont forget that the west almost colonized the whole world, the US is still oppresing its black population and used the war on drugs to target black people and political opponents (https://edition.cnn.com/2016/03/23/politics/john-ehrlichman-richard-nixon-drug-war-blacks-hippie/index.html) and caused almost 1 million civillian deaths during their illegal war on Iraq (not to mention all the war crimes they commited and other countries they attacked). The West is trying to create colour revolutions all around the world and the US alone tried to toppeld more then 70 governments ( some even elected) and is actively trying to do this also in China (in Xinjiang, Tibet and everywhere it cans, here a admission from a US general about heir goals: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AFIAXqkdWzU)
 
deathtokoalas
listen, david, i'm sorry, but i don't get the impression that you know what you're talking about, and i wonder if you're even working for the chinese government - which does actually pay people to do what you're doing. so, i'm going to extrapolate on a few basic points and try to disengage with this.

- i agree that china has come a long way since it hit rock bottom in world war two, but it kind of had nowhere to go but up. there are very few destruction events in history that compare with what happened in china between 1930-1950 - maybe the late bronze age collapse, and the mongol invasion are precedents, but there aren't many. so, there's been a fair amount written about the idea of technological determinism in china's post-wwII recovery, which i'm stating without irony: at some point of underdevelopment or broad social collapse due to famine and war, the system used to develop the industrial capacity doesn't matter as much as the introduction of new technology and the introduction of peace does. so, sure: give china credit for pulling itself up by it's own bootstraps, and doing it relatively fast. but, you're getting dubious when you start assigning that progress to this system or another. nonetheless, if you really understand marx here, there's really no daylight between where he stands on this kind of development and where somebody on the furthest right of the development spectrum does - marxists and capitalists agree that a society like post-war china requires the introduction of capitalism to generate wealth as a starting point. it's only what happens now, 60 years later, where the marxists start to disagree with the capitalists.

- the definition of capitalism is the system where surplus value is extracted from workers by a class of managers, called capitalists. you can use as many scare quotes as you'd like, but that's what capitalism is - and the more capital is extracted, the worse the exploitation is. pointing to rising living standards as a consolation price doesn't cut it. why shouldn't the workers get everything?

- the proxy wars in africa are complicated, but china is absolutely funding all kinds of armed insurgency groups to fight this or that group, and this idea that they're just offering hands-off investment in return for no-questions-asked extraction is actually the same kind of relationship that the west had with the local slave markets in africa. sure - it's good for a small layer of bourgeoisie in africa, but the result is vicious exploitation of the african working class. and, there's a word for that model, as well - it's called neo-liberalism and it's not connected with any kind of communist concept of social development in any way at all.

- i would suggest that global capitalism uses imperialism as a tool of dominance whenever it can, absolutely. imperialism need not be capitalistic, but capitalism will never avoid the use of imperial tactics to advance itself. as it happens to be, china is an empire, regardless of whether it is a capitalist one or not, and china's imperialist nature is deeper than it's embrace of capitalism. so, it would certainly follow that if china is the new capitalist overlord then they will begin the process of dominating the rest of the world around them, like the empire that they are. and, as mentioned, we are seeing that today in both south america and in africa, even if the us military presence in their direct periphery continues to make that difficult for them.

- democracy has a deep history in greek, roman and german culture. while western capitalism has not always upheld democratic concepts, democracy is nonetheless baked into both the underlying  panhellenism and germanic substrates that define what we call western civilization and some concept of progress is indeed present in western history. conversely, democracy is rejected as inferior and in fact even largely ridiculed as stupid by chinese culture, which insists that the people must be ruled from above. while i did not wish to present a caricature, the difference is nonetheless fundamental, and you are being naive if you expect the chinese to even pretend to care about human rights anywhere in the world, or to ever take even the most trivial steps towards any concept of individual autonomy or self-ownership - it's just not present in their culture. you are merely a meaningless cog in a system, and you shall die for the greater good, if required.

dave
Your arguments about China are ignorant, filled with half trues and with false statements (like chinese people being white or China never being colonized). And the fact that you constantly white-washing the western-imperialistic system, ranging from the claim that colonizers asked nicely to be provided with slaves by other africans, which is nonesense, they went there with their army and weapons and slaughered millions in the process of their exploitation. Or the claim that the west is a beacon for democracy (maybe if you only count white people and their human rights, then maybe sure):  again the US toppled more then  70 goverments and it never mattered if they were democratly elected or not. The US also supported Apartheid South Africa and declared Mandela a terrorist (until 2008). And lets not forget that the western imperialist are in CONSTANT war and are slaugthering hundred thousands of people in the middle east. You even tried to argue that somehow the freaking US military is a force against imperialism which is just ridiculous. 
To me it seems like you are a confussed marxist, who seems to scoop up a lot of US propaganda.
The west (at best) only cares about white people and people of the conceptual west. China never needed the concept of democracy and human rights to be against colonization and imperialism of the west, to reject Apartheid or to reject the western wars in the middle east. There is a reason why the african independence hero Lumumba asked China for help, before the west orchestrated his execution. The western imperialist always have a pretense for their exploitation, first they wanted to christianize the world, then they wanted to civilize it, then they colonized Africa to "end slavery", then they toppled goverments and supported (even some fascist) dictators to fight against independence movements or communism (they supported of course also terrorists like Osama) and know they are waging wars in the name of democracy and human rights. Western imperialists will always have a pretext to wage war and you must be really foolish if you truly belive any of their bs pretextes.
 
deathtokoalas
the slave trade was not created by western capitalism, it was created by muslim imperialism and inherited largely within the reconquista. and, we could go on, but why bother? i keep correcting your screwed up crt-defined concept of history (which is a kind of neo-liberalism, and has nothing to do with marxism), and it's standard practice for you to react by calling me ignorant as a defense mechanism and deflection tactic, but it is in truth your burkean concept of hierarchy, as presented to you via angela davis and michel foucault, that is ignorant of reality, and constructed strictly  through the lens of bad theory. worse, your concept of china as being historically aloof from the practice of slavery, of not participating in imperialist wars and being less involved with apartheid is bizarre, to say the least. slavery in china was not just probably historically worse than anywhere else on earth but is actually ongoing in multiple contexts. but, thee's no real value in arguing with foucauldians because they don't interface with empirical reality - and it is perhaps not ironic that crt is the new maoism, in that sense.
a lot of fake liberals have a vicious double standard here, and it's going to lead to their own demise, in the end.

if you align with the strain of liberalism that wants an iron wall of separation at all times, you need to stay consistent here and support total, complete bans on yoga at school.
no, this question is important.

if you allow yoga in school, why not allow group prayers? 

likewise, if you let hijabs into the classroom, why not allow for displays of the ten commandments?

consistency here means you keep all religion out of school, not use specious arguments about minority rights as a backdoor for the renormalization of religious instruction.

....and make no mistake about that: the elite wants your children to be religious. they're more servile, pliable and easy to control, that way.
i would actually oppose lifting this ban - religion has no place in education, whatsoever at all.

it's a backdoor to reallowing religion in school, and the aclu should oppose it and fight to re-institute the ban.

today's post is the aleph for the symphonic works, inriℵ12. that is symphonies 000-006, plus the tripout piece eat my fuck.

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purchasing this release does not come with a download. 

inri013: written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. 

inri016: created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16, 2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct 27, 2016. 

inri019: written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released on nov 24, 2016. release finalized on nov 27, 2016. this is my second symphony. 

inri029: recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published on november 30, 2013. re-released (with new hidden track) and finalized as symph003 on sept 13, 2017. this is my third symphony. 

inri039: this was constructed over a little more than a month: from 7/7-8/20, 2000. it seems to have been recombined into one track around 2006 but has otherwise not been modified since it was completed. first released as an ep on jan 14, 2014. release finalized as symph004 on oct 8, 2017. 

inri046: written in the spring of 2001. lent out for a different project in jan, 2004. reconstructed in the first quarter of 2006, especially over march. released as a one track single on april 1, 2006. expanded with alternate mixes and re-released on july 23, 2014. the vst mix was added on jan 10, 2015 and the two guitar mixes were added on may 29, 2015. re-released on may 29, 2015. finalized as symph005 on oct 15, 2017. 

inri047: written one day in june, 1998. re-created on another day in june, 1999. reimagined on yet another day in june, 2001. a failed remaster occurred at the end of 2013. slightly rearranged and re-rendered at the end of july, 2014. released in a single volume on july 25, 2014. re-released in a single volume with a new string orchestra mix on may 30, 2015. this release was split into two cds on oct 15, 2017, with the first disc being composed solely of the process piece. four new tracks were added to the second disc. re-released in two volumes and finalized on oct 16, 2017. 

inri053: written late 2001 and early 2002. this file is ripped from a cd-r that was burnt around 2002, as that was the option that would produce the most accurate reproduction of the original composition. published without modification on oct 6, 2014. expanded, re-released and finalized as symph006 and lp012 on oct 23, 2017. 

originally created from 1996-2002. this compilation is dated to jan 25, 2002. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on oct 26, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

released january 25, 2002 

j - guitars (electric, classical, acoustic), effects, ebow, bass, mandolin, synthesizers, electric piano, piano, organ, vocals, drum kit, drum programming, orchestral & other sequencing, flute, cool edit synthesis, sound raider, sampling, light-wave synthesis, generative synthesis, generative percussion, noise generators, sound design, loops, tapes, found sounds (washing machine), metronome, windows 95 sound recorder, treatments, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, coughs, a broken tape deck, a broken equalizer, composition, production 

sean - vocals/lyrics (inri053) 

the rendered electronic orchestras variously include synthesizers, clavinet, kalimba, nylon guitar, acoustic guitar, electric guitar, bass guitar, piano, banjo, electronic drums, pc card, violin, cello, bamboo flute, flute, viola, soprano saxophone, tuba, trumpet, organ, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, contrabass, tubular bells and music box.