i'm sorry to be a jerk, but i'd say the most likely cause of death is via opioid overdose. she may have needed one of those naloxone injections, and it may be the nobody caught it. i mean, hey, if you're a 17 year-old forced to self-isolate for two weeks, it's a good time to experiment with drugs, right?

but, this particular case aside, which i fear may be politicized to argue for free market healthcare, as though the family could have paid more to have the ambulance arrive faster, as though that makes any actual sense, there are going to be some percentage of young people that just don't react to the virus at all. now, she should have tested positive if that was the case. but, in cases where your body just doesn't realize that this thing is a virus, you get no immune response at all. and, it just ravages your insides out and turns it to mush. these unlucky people that can't recognize the virus are going to die horrible, ebola-like deaths. and, this doesn't sound that far from it, either.

the sad reality is that it's not clear what an ambulance could have done for somebody suffering multiple simultaneous hemorrhages due to their immune system utterly failing to identify a pathogen. that person would need something like immediate antibody treatment, which is probably not available on immediate notice in rural alberta, quite yet.

i know it's easy to think the kid would have made it with immediate care; she's young, she's strong. right? but, it's the opposite - the fact that the virus totally overwhelmed her, for whatever reason, suggests her prognosis was very poor, regardless.

but, i mean, the negative test. yeah. sounds like opiates....

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/sarah-strate-alberta-teen-unexplained-death-after-covid-exposure-1.6008021

i had to settle for this:

800-pound threatened hominid from africa that cannot be mentioned in youtube comments or the algorithm will remove your post 

i mean, that's the only reasonable conclusion i can come to - that other hominids never existed, so they don't need to be talked about.

they also seem to have banned any discussion of chimpanzees.

are they creationists, or what? what the fuck?

he's talking like the point isn't for the americans to be an 800-pound threatened hominid from africa that cannot be mentioned in youtube comments or the algorithm will remove your post and distort every relationship in the country.  divide et impera - and if it's taking too long, they just need more divide. the policeman is there to preserve disorder. a functioning, stable, competitive afghanistan is the last thing that anybody in washington wants.

so, why is biden doing this? i think it's a personal grudge he had against obama. i think he got overruled and smacked down and resented it. and, now he's trying to undo it. and i think that's the actual point.

that said, conflating the end of this war with the removal of troops is a false equivalency. even when or if this war ever ends, american troops will likely remain in the region, unless they're actually driven out - and nobody thinks the taliban can do that. the chinese, maybe. but, nobody wonders when we're going to withdraw from japan anymore, and the long term goal has to be that kind of under-the-radar occupation that just never ends, whether there's a war to justify or not...

in fact, it won't even let you post gorilla in quotes.

the term i'm using is "800 pound gorilla", and i'm using it because the person i'm responding to in the video used it. 

gorillas are real animals, kids. this is dystopic - there's no other description.

youtube has also banned the word "gorilla", unless put in quotes. i suppose that gorillas no longer exist in the millennial safe space fantasy reality. and, i thought the thing threatening gorillas was species extinction through habitat destruction.

list of scientific terms that you can't post in youtube comments, that i've found:

- homo economicus

- gorilla

a blanket ban on international students would certainly be a downward push on the price of low-income housing, but it won't reduce the spread of covid-19.

i'd rather see more low-income housing built, but i'll take it.

today's post is the curious george single, inri040.

====

this track was taken from the then lost curious george suite (now inri037) and loaded up with samples to raise awareness. the impression i was trying to create was that bush wasn't going to be a president who was particularly concerned with civil liberties because he had stated as much rather clearly. this is still pre-9/11, it was right before the election, and i still had no idea what was coming. i was just conscious of the fact that this is a guy that isn't going to stand up for anybody's rights, have much interest in maintaining the rule of law (international or otherwise) or have much respect for the democratic process. 

even listening to it today, a lot of it is really surreal. at the time, i was focusing a bit on the irony. for example, his "people who are going to commit crimes shouldn't have guns" quote is cited in reference to himself - by that logic, he should have overseen an american disarmament. "this guy's not elected, he just took over office" quip was also meant to apply to him. i think it's largely forgotten that the news of a possible attempted coup hit before the 2000 election did. there was a buzz on the internet that the people behind bush (military contractors) weren't going to let him lose. the "court battle" in florida wasn't a completely surprising turn of events. it was gore's disinterest in fighting the legal battle (because it would "destabilize" the country) that hit people by surprise. 

i've split this into it's own space because it belongs in it's own space. deny everything (inri041) has been converted into abstract instrumental music; the samples don't belong there. it also seems disingenuous to insert it into the lost suite. 

i think i need to be careful in stating that historical hindsight inoculates me in explaining what i hoped was obvious: that this is a thinly veiled call for the assassination of bush before he takes over. a tree fell in a forest here. alas. 

recorded in april, 2000. samples added in oct, 2000. album version reverted to original mix in sept, 2006. released as a single on jan 14, 2014. expanded & finalized on oct 9, 2016. as always, please use headphones. 

the album version appears on my fourth record, deny everything (inri041): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2000, 2006, 2014, 2017). 

released october 13, 2000 

j - guitars, effects, drum programming, sampling, sound design, digital wave editing. 

there are no synthesizers used in this track.

as of friday morning, my zinc results have been mailed, but they aren't here yet. i need to do some shopping this weekend, anyways - i can't wait. what changes can i make?

first, i'm now eating the fruit bowl every day for breakfast and either eating pasta or eggs for supper. two meals is all i can take.

fruit bowl

i still don't know if the wheat and phytates are blocking metal absorption in the fruit bowl. i know that the calcium & magnesium seem to be fine. zinc results will be useful, and after that i'll need to check copper & selenium, particularly. so, for now i'm going to stick with it:

fruit & vegetables 

- 100 g strawberry  (c,s...cr,se + flavonoids)

- 30 g guava  (b8,c,s)

- 70 g kiwi (b8,c,k1...b,cr)

- 150 g avocado  (b5,b8,b9,b16,b20,c,e,f1,k1,s...b,na,s,k,cr,zn,se....h,l,k,m,c)

- 120 g banana (b5,b16...cl,k,se....h)

- 45 g raspberry (c,s...b + flavonoids)

- pinch of cinnamon (s, mostly)*

- 1 tbsp of paprika (pseudo-a + lutein & zeaxanthin)

+

- cherries (from yogurt, ice cream)  (extra pseudo-a,c,e,s + flavonoids)

- 45 g of blueberry or blackberry or cranberry (or multiples of them)  (extra c,e,s + flavonoids)

"dairy"

- 400 ml fortified soy milk (a, b5,b7,b8,b16,b20,d,f1...b,na,p,s,k,ca,fe,co,cu,zn,se,mo....h,i,l,k,m,c,v)

- 82.5 g of cherry ice cream (a,b5,b12,b13,b16,b20,k2...na,s,zn,se....i,l,k,m,v)

- 50 g cherry yogurt (a,b16,b20...na,s,co,zn,se....i,l,k,m,c,v)

cereal

- 40 g of vector (a,b3,b5,b7,b9,b15,b20,e,f1...na,cl,fe,zn,se,i)

- 45 g of all bran (b5,b8,b15,b16,b20,f1...na,mg, p,s,cl,k,mn,fe,zn,se....h,i,l,k,m,c,v)

- 14 g raw wheat bran (b8,b15...s,cl,zn,se....c)!

seeds

- 8 g of raw, hulled sunflower seed (e,f1...s,se....c) 

- 12 g of ground flax seed  (b16,f1,f2...b,si,s,ni,zn,se....c)

fungi & protists

- 5 g of nutritional yeast (b1,b2,b3,b4,b6,b7,b9,b12,b16...s,cr,se....k,c)

- 5 ml of algal oil (b12,16,f3,f4)

* i should be out of fake cinnamon this month, and will look for real cinnamon this week

! - doubling the wheat bran for selenium & betaine & inositol may not be good for iron, and i'll understand that when i get zinc results, but the iron pills might, in the end, be the best workaround.

so, that's breakfast and it is complete, up to understanding the effects of interactions.

pasta bowl

so, to start with, this is what seems to be sufficient in the pasta bowl:

- vitamins: beta-carotene, b1, b2, b3, b4, b6, b9, b12 (total), b13, c, d, e, f2, k2

- minerals: na, mg, p, k, ca, mn, co, cu, se

this is what seems to be lacking, after adjusting to the 50% requirements, from the 33% ones:

- vitamins: retinol, b5, b7, b8, b12 (natural), b15, b16, b20, f1, f3, f4, k1, s

- minerals:  fe, zn, mo

and this is what has not been measured at all:

- minerals: b, si, s, cr, ni, i

- all amino acids

- lutein

- lycopene

- chlorophyll

- flavonoids

this is what i've done to adjust:

- i've boosted the cheese by a few grams to increase the amount of a. adding some fish should also increase a levels. i've also increased the yogurt by a tablespoon. that should be sufficient.

- the added tomatoes & broccoli together should get the b5 up from 90 to over 100, on paper. the extra tablesoon of yogurt is a few more percent. fish is also high in b5. adding further items will likewise get it up a tad more. this should be fine when i calculate it.

- the nutritional yeast is undercounted in that chart, and about 30% less than it ought to be, taking me to closer to 150% for b7. i'm also going to increase the amount of soy to a full cup. but, fish is high in biotin. i think this is ok, given that i get a ton of biotin from the eggs.

- i'm going to add green beans for inositol. it should help a little with iron, too. with the broccoli & tomato, together, along with the soy, i should be up to close to 500 mg.  that should be fine.

- the fish, cheese & yogurt should get the natural b12 up a bit more. that should be fine.

- the size of the beets is undercounted, here; i'm actually generally eating more like 100-120 g of beets which is a 25-50% increase. realizing that gets me about half of the way there. but, i'm going to add about 10 g of spinach, which is even higher in betaine, to firm it up. 

- the choline & carnitine should come up with the fish, specifically. so should the omega-3 and omega-6s.

- the broccoli & spinach, together, should be sufficient for k1. in fact, with the tomatoes and green beans, and spices, it may be a little too high. but, i'm going to ignore that, for now.

- the oregano alone should get me over 5 mg of salicylates in this meal.

- i would appear to need 7.5 mg of iron to get to my 50% target. tomatoes, broccoli, green beans, garlic & spinach, together, should add something like 1.4 mg. a tablespoon of paprika and teaspoon of cayenne would together have roughly 1.75, a tablespoon of oregano would have 1.5 mg, and a tablespoon of hulled hemp & sunflower seeds would have about 1.0 mg, together. so, that's about 5.5 g. leading me to only need 2.0 mg more. i should get around 1 mg more with fish.

as can be seen, these spices are supposed to be high in iron, along with salicylates and antioxidants. what other spices can i look at?

thyme - 5.3 mg in 1 tbsp

cumin seed - 4.0 mg in 1 tbsp

celery seed - 2.9 mg in 1 tbsp

basil - 1.9 mg in 1 tbsp

i know i like thyme & basil, and i used to put celery in my salt. these are easy, cheap adds. i can try some cumin, but i'm not sure if i'll like it. i'll just try a tsp to start.

these spices are going to increase my k levels and i'm going to ignore it for now.

- for zinc, i would appear to need 5 mg to meet my goal, but i want to wait to see what my serum level is, first. i'm probably going to need the fish to meet this, as spices and vegetables appear to be poor sources of zinc

- i'm not looking at molybdenum right now. soon.

so, the extra adds are:

0) 1 tomato for lycopene and extra c. it also tones down the spiciness and there's a bit of k1 & b8.

1) broccoli for sulfur, k1 & extra c. it's also high in lutein and adds about 10% of b5 and a little b8.

2) more cheese & more yogurt for a, b5 & b12

3) more soy for a, b5, b7, b8 & b16.

4) some fish for a, b5, b7, b12, b16, b20, f1, f3, f4, iron although i'm not sure what type yet.

5) 50 g of green beans for inositol & k1

6) 10 g of spinach for betaine, k1 

7) thyme, cumin, celery and basil for iron. i'll have to decide if i like it or not.

& this is the total outcome, for now

fruits & vegetables:

- 1 beet (>100 g) 

- 1 garlic clove (~5 g)  

- 1 lime, including the peel (~67 g)  

- 110 g of carrots 

+

- 1 tomato (~100-150 g) 

- 40 g of broccoli 

- 50 g of green beans 

- 10 g of spinach

+ 

capsicum

- 1 red pepper (>150 g) 

- 1 tbsp paprika  

- 1 tsp cayenne pepper  

- several dashes of frank's red hot sauce 

+

spices

- several dashes of ground black pepper

- 1 tbsp oregano

- 1 tbsp thyme 

- 1 tsp cumin seed (to start)

- 1 tbsp celery seed

- 1 tbsp basil

seeds

- 1 tbsp hulled hemp seeds

- 1 large tbsp of hulled sunflower seeds

- 1 small tsp mustard seed

protists

- 1 large tsp of nutritional yeast

"dairy"

- 250 ml of fortified vanilla soy milk

- 3 tbsp of fortified pro-biotic yogurt

- 70 g of cheddar cheese

cereal

- 55 g of fortified al dente durum wheat pasta 

- 10 tsp of pasta water

meat

- some fish of some sort to determine after zinc levels are clarified

eggs meal

the eggs only seen to be missing a few things:

- b15, k,.....mg, k, fe, zn, cu.

but, the mg and k are undercounted and probably close to ok.

i can add a little bit of spinach for an easy and near certain dose of b15 & k, which should increase magnesium and potassium as well. that leaves the beneficial metals, which i'll need to look into after i get the zinc results.

ok. that's good for now. 

i have a math degree, and i didn't take any formal economics courses in an actual school until i went back to work on a second undergraduate degree in computer science. and, i started off in physics, so i'm fundamentally empirical in how i interpret reality. i remember having this exact reaction when i first looked at these post-keynesian models in a first-year classroom - even as the simplest, most basic model, the idea that this was even remotely useful in reality was instantly realized as laughable - and i actually was the person that asked the prof if there was any empirical evidence for this, and was at least lucky enough to get a derisive, scornful response that no, of course not, and even teaching it nowadays is just silly. that's really the most important thing i got from taking a few formal courses - you can call modern economics speculative philosophy if you'd like, but it often doesn't even pretend that it's applying scientific methods. it's a bad joke.

 

that said, there's a similar debate in physics about the utility of teaching newtonian mechanics and the overwhelming consensus is that it has too much historical value to drop it altogether. i don't even disagree, really. but, the classical models should be presented later in the course sequence as a historical breadth for experts, and the 100 courses should really be more contemporary, so as to be useful for both general audiences and math geeks taking breadth requirements.

but, steve keen apparently doesn't know what croutons are.

somebody buy the man a salad.

see, this is what i'm talking about with the court shifting hard to the right. this is a decision that i can barely recognize as canadian.

so, prosecutors are essentially given free reign to say whatever they want about the pigs, then. i'm no fan of the institution, clearly. but, they need to have a right of defense against corrupt prosecutors (and that happens.) that want to defame their character in the course of a prosecution, and that was just taken away from them in order to uphold some tory bullshit about the "honour of the crown".

the previous court was all about civil liberties, and they would have never taken a position like this.

when this is over, this is going to be the legacy of justin trudeau - by allowing the opposition to shape the bench, he shifted it hard to the right in a way that stephen harper only dreamed of being able to do; he succeeded in changing the legal culture in the way that the right wanted it changed, where harper failed.

https://www.canadianlawyermag.com/practice-areas/litigation/police-cannot-sue-crown-attorneys-over-handling-of-criminal-cases-scc-rules/355545

no posts yesterday? really?

yeah, but it's misleading.

i fell asleep a little after midnight on friday morning while i was eating pasta and woke up a little before the sun came up, with the requirement to finish the meal. i had opened my fridge up on thursday afternoon to dethaw, and was expecting the landlord to come down in the morning to remove the electronic panel and clear out the drain. i was consequently sort of wasting time until he got here, which didn't happen until after 14:00. i spent the time working on a pasta bowl update post that i didn't finish until i had to get out to the store before they closed around 20:00, and i fell asleep when i got back.   

so, i was typing out a big post that i might not finish for a few more days, still.

i don't need to physically go to the doctors' offices every few days this month, so i want to get all of the running around for the month done before monday, finish cleaning on that side of the space (now that the fridge is fixed, hopefully) and settle in for the next several weeks, which is how i like it.

so, posts might be slow for the rest of the weekend.

enjoy my deny everything sequence, while i'm gone.

today's post is my fourth symphony, inri039.

do i still agree with mayr on this?

mostly, yes.

======

this is my fourth symphony. 

it's a sort of a pun; it uses the medical condition of acidosis, which is when the ph level of a person's blood dips to a level that causes complications or death, to draw an analogy to the environmental destruction being carried out by industrial civilization. it also forwards my intuitive hypothesis that homo sapiens will ultimately end up as an evolutionary dead-end. more specifically, my view is that intelligence, as a trait, is ultimately an evolutionary disadvantage. well somebody else probably has that view too. 

(...i learned later that it turns out to be the seminal evolutionary biologist, ernst mayr, in fact. he made evolutionary syntheses, not hot dogs....) 

the material is presented here in fragmented format to properly outline the structure of the piece. 

that sexy cover art is a couple of bitmaps of neurons played with in paint and superimposed onto each other in coagula. the sound of that sexy bitmap is heard in the song. 

i think i'd rather let the piece stand by title alone, other than to point out that the reaction explored in the piece is really more general than any specific narrative justifies. it's a systems break down. 

the music is half generated algorithmically and half played. the half random, largely atonal notes i had programmed into the generator created unusual jam circumstances that were fun to play with. as an example, the piano part is live, but it's being spurred on by the random synth bass underneath it. the computer was driving me, creatively; i think it produced interesting results, both out of me and in itself. as a rhythm section, the computer holds it's own here - as random as the notes are. 

what centres the track, though, is a classical guitar part that i recorded very late one night. i was weirded out about things and wanted to get some shit out, so i recorded myself playing for close to a half hour. i think a lot of people don't realize just how powerful a guitar can be as an alternate outlet for aggression. psychologically, that's powerful shit. 

i listened to the jam when i got my head clear and i was sort of fascinated by it's just raw emotion. it didn't make any musical sense, but it expressed an idea through it's dynamics. i ran it backwards through an effect designed to simulate a record player dying over exaggerated lengths of times and that became the idea to build around. the shape grew slowly, all the way into the analogy, from there. 

this was constructed over a little more than a month: from 7/7-8/20, 2000. it seems to have been recombined into one track around 2006 but has otherwise not been modified since it was completed. first released as an ep on jan 14, 2014. release finalized as symph004 on oct 8, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

this ep appears as a single track on my fourth record, deny everything (inri041): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2000, 2014, 2017). 

released August 20, 2000 

j - guitars of all types, bass, drum programming, synthesizers, piano, loops, noise generation, organ, ebow, flute, mandolin, treatments, effects, found sounds, sound design, generative synthesis, generative percussion, light-sound synthesis, digital wave editing, production, coughs, a broken equalizer, cover art

temporary full april, 2021 backup archive (not source material - to be permanently deleted when pdf uploads)

saturday, january 1, 2022

sunday, january 2, 2022

monday, january 3, 2022

tuesday, january 4, 2022

wednesday, january 5, 2022

thursday, january 6, 2022

friday, january 7, 2022

saturday, january 8, 2022

sunday, january 9, 2022

monday, january 10, 2022

tuesday, january 11, 2022

wednesday, january 12, 2022

thursday, january 13, 2022

friday, january 14, 2022

saturday, january 15, 2022

sunday, january 16, 2022

monday, january 17, 2022

tuesday, january 18, 2022

wednesday, january 19, 2022

thursday, january 20, 2022

friday, january 21, 2022

saturday, january 22, 2022

sunday, january 23, 2022

monday, january 24, 2022

tuesday, january 25, 2022

wednesday, january 26, 2022

thursday, january 27, 2022

friday, january 28, 2022

saturday, january 29, 2022

sunday, january 30 2022

monday, january 31, 2022

the popular movement at the time was thatcherism's randianism and neo-liberalism, so reagan would go out there and say things that were very thatcherian and very randian, but he was just a front for a group of old-timey republicans that were broadly still operating under the same basic keynesian assumptions, and when they went back to washington to work on policy, the differences between carter and reagan turned out to be minimal - unless you were the black welfare queen that reagan built his racist, populist mandate on wiping out.

and, that's really all it was - racism under the guise of populism, something that biden himself parroted rather widely in the following years.

if anybody started letting that go, it was greenspan, not reagan.

and, it didn't really flip over until clinton. 

i think the ultimate source on this is chomsky. he's the guy i know was talking about this at the time in the 80s, anyways.

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2014/12/ronald-reagan-big-government-legacy/

actually, reagan was a big government liberal that exploded the debt by spending trillions on military spending. he spent lots of money on seniors, lots on healthcare, lots on immigrants...

he just cut welfare, which was mostly because he was a racist, which barely made a dent in anything. that acted as a kind of a smokescreen, but the fact is that he greatly expanded both the size and role of the government, otherwise.

the whole narrative is a stupid myth, mostly invented by liberals trying to create a thacherian strawman around him. those arguments are all true about thatcher, but they're mostly nonsense when applied to reagan.

biden shares the same basic worldview as ronald reagan, and may be the end of the reaganite lineage, in terms of direct successors. both bushes, clinton, obama and trump were essentially all continuations of reaganism, and biden is just the latest iteration of that.

but, he might be the end of the line.

at least, we can hope that some change is around the corner, anyways.

today's post is the ignorance is bliss single, inri038.

========

this is a collection of versions of a track that was important to me around the turn of the century: five electronic versions (seven including the downloads) and an electric folk version that i often played as a sort of a drunken party trick. after the lead track, the electronic versions are arranged in decreasing complexity, and the electric folk version is at the end. the bonus tracks are both vocal mixes; i felt that only one was really necessary for the single, but included them here for scope. 

it's sort of about me, and sort of about my dad, and sort of about caricatures. we never had a dog drown, and i simply have no knowledge of the dynamics of my parents' sexual relationship. that's just an old country song. yet, there were a lot of stressful problems in both his work and family life, and that was being pointed to as a cause of his heart problems. 

in hindsight, i'd tend to lean more towards genetics (and perhaps lifestyle) than stress. of course, that's something i have an interest in understanding further as i age. at the time, though, the focus was all about reducing the amount of stress he was dealing with. 

i really just sort of didn't get it. i still don't *really* get it. stressed? well, chill out then. spark one up. put on a tune. it's maybe not as easy as snapping a finger, but it has to be about a general philosophy of life. see, i guess i place a lot less faith in the idea of free will than most people do - and my father, being a rush fan, and don't get me started on that travesty, put far more faith in it. when one is absolutely convinced that their entire life is determined by the choices they make, including the ones they don't make, it produces a lot of pressure to make or not make the right choices. meaning? he did it to himself - his atlas never shrugged. 

ultimately, universe gonna hate. your so-called free will is doomed to be crushed in a wave of stochastics. the universe is a random, chaotic place defined by poorly understood probabilities. so, why bother concerning yourself so deeply with the consequences of your actions in this pointless existence, to the point that it might cut that existence short? it was the idea of him driving himself to cardiac arrest that pissed me off. you could be hit by an asteroid in your sleep. you could spontaneously combust. you could even wake up one day to find that aliens have landed and are taking over the world using robot gunships. once you get *that*, trying to fight for control seems pointless. 

or, so, the debate went. i wasn't really comfortable writing a song *about* my old man, so i took a fictional first-person perspective and went to town with it a bit. 

this release was revisited in october of 2017 to add some further perspectives on the track. the final album version (2014) and the electronics only version (2015) were both added to the single, while the previous lead track (the initial vocal version) was replaced with a remaster of itself that was engineered to better fit the aesthetic of the new outtakes compilation, inrimoved (inri042). a failed attempt to reintegrate the vocals into the album mix is also included as a bonus track. 

written and recorded, 1999-2001. track 3 was reconstructed out of existing sound in june, 2004. initially sequenced on jan 12, 2014. expanded with remixes from 2014-2017, re-released with a newly remastered lead version and subsequently finalized on oct 5, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the cover art bitmap is one of the files i put through coagula to produce sound out of light. inristart was a working title for the piece. 

the full instrumental mix of this track appears on my fourth record, deny everything (inri041): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything 

the lead version is now on the outtakes compilation, inrimoved (inri042): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimoved 

the cynicide/folk version appears on my fifth record, jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj (inri052): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/jjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjj 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2000, 2001, 2004, 2006, 2014, 2017). 

credits

released july 11, 2000 

j - guitars, effects, bass, synthesizers, sequencing, drum programming, vocals, vocoders, sound design, sampling, digital wave editing, production

israel is as close to herd immunity as anywhere right now.

so, it's going to be like getting a yearly flu shot.

and, you might not need to get yearly flu shots anymore, because the flu is essentially crowded out.

if youngish people want to get vaccinated, and there are extra vaccines, there's minimal harm associated with it. but, the focus should be on ensuring that people that are in more direct risk of harm get both vaccine doses asap.

and, i'll probably wait until it stabilizes and i'm in the 55+ category.

right now, i'd rather beat it myself.

https://www.haaretz.com/israel-news/dozens-of-cases-of-indian-covid-variant-found-in-israel-including-among-vaccinated-1.9758121

they're kind of both right.

what fauci is saying is only meaningful insofar is it pertains to seniors or other vulnerable people that aren't getting vaccinated. if every senior gets vaccinated, the risk regarding the spread in young people reduces to the developing problem with variants. but, it doesn't seem like these vaccines are going to be very useful for variants, anyways.

i'm sorry to say it, but i care more about myself than i do about society, and i'll argue that's the best way to build a social system, through enlightened self-interest. what that means is that i realize that, at this stage, the vaccines are better used on people that need them more, and i'm better off avoiding the weak than i am wasting a vaccine in my arm, that is probably already nearly useless.

if i happen to infect somebody else that is young, i take no responsibility for their behaviour, afterward. they, too, need to realize the importance of avoidance, but that is their responsibility and not mine.

so, while fauci is making a good point and one that should be pondered carefully and reflected upon in terms of adjusting behaviour, rogan is fundamentally correct - vaccinating young people at this stage is the least of anybody's concerns, and probably of minimal actual efficacy, so long as they're practicing proper distancing from those that need it.

young people that are in contact with the vulnerable, however, should be vaccinated.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/anthony-fauci-joe-rogan-covid-19-vaccine_n_608a8a67e4b04620270439a0

i should also note that i successfully ate some fruit and kept it down, so it doesn't seem to be a....

....virus...

...either.

but, i'm really more concerned about potential signals regarding cancer than i am about covid. i'll no doubt beat covid, unless i have cancer. and, i probably won't beat cancer.

there's no serious symptoms of it, and i have to keep reminding myself of that. but, i should be vigilant.

if it happens again, i'll take it seriously, it's just that the cause and effect with the coffee is way too clear, this time.

i'm a rationalist, and i'm a logician, so i realize i need to take things seriously. but i'm not a hypochondriac. i think i've navigated this middle point fairly well, actually.

to be clear - it wasn't like coffee grounds. that would suggest bleeding.

it was more like brown splotches suspended in the primarily clear mucus.

so, should i be concerned about this first vomit in i don't know how long?

it's very unusual.

but, it was a dry heave - all that came up was some mucus and what looked like remnant wheat, and maybe  some dried coffee.

so, you could look at it either way - the unusualness of it is concerning because it's so uncharacteristic, but it also means i was sort of due.

and, i clearly had a bad reaction to chugging....it was four large mugs of coffee. so, nearly a pot. in about a half hour.

if it happens again, i'll take it seriously. but, i won't drink that much coffee that fast again any time soon, trust me.

the purpose of the police is to protect the rich from the poor. what this guy is saying is delusional.

it's not that the universality isn't an ideological feature - i get it, and i don't disagree. at all. but, this guy is supposed to be an economist, so he should fully realize that a universal hand out in this sense will just produce inflation. and, then you've converted your universal right to income security into yet another government handout for the rich.

the idea behind this ought to be to maximize positive liberty and give people a way out of the labour market if they truly want one, without forcing them into abject poverty. ideally, this will even boost wages by restricting the amount of labour participation. so, everybody wins, in the end. but, the only way to make sense of it is to make it look like a negative income tax - and peg it to something like 75% of the minimum wage.

this whole "disincentive to work" thing gets the supply & demand curve upside down, and i'd guess it's because the curve has flipped over, at least in rich countries. that's a big part of why you had this middle class develop in the rich countries - because there was more work than there workers. capital consequently had to incentivize people to work, in order to maximize productivity. but, nowadays you have the opposite - there are way more workers than there are jobs, and that's just increased with globalization and mechanization. now, we have this natural unemployment rate, and this reality that there are always going to be unemployed workers, no matter what. there's consequently no longer any good reason to incentivize work; rather, if you're looking at it from a labour perspective, you actually want to give people incentives to exit the labour market so they aren't deflating the price of labour by instigating a race to the bottom. so, you can pull the rug out from that argument entirely by pointing to changes in the labour market. but, the point about inflation remains, and it appears that he's not even addressing it.

people don't really need an "incentive to work", anyways. we're all going to want to do some kind of work. what you used to need was an incentive to participate in wage work. but, like i say - that is flipped over. capital no longer needs such a thing, at all.

===

see,  this is the kind of goofy argument you expect from an arts major, not a professor of economics. if you fund a ubi with corporate & property taxes,  the rentiers will just increase rents to offset it. in the end, the government generates more revenue, and those that own debt benefit, but the poor just have the money they're given clawed back by the rentier class that you're taxing to redistribute to them. so, this is a handout to the rich, not a handout to the poor.

i understand that it is perceived that a ubi is politically unworkable unless it's truly universal, but it just doesn't actually work unless you target it.

====

the other thing is that it is easy to predict that if you design systems where you're giving money to people without robust government id, databases of imaginary people will start appearing out of nowhere, and money will be directed into slush funds controlled by politicians and their buddies in the corporate sector. it's an algorithm for corruption.

===

and he cites hayek but i actually think friedman got this specific idea better than almost everybody, in framing it as an escape from the market. right-libertarians are all about allowing individuals to make choices, and if you like markets and want to live in a market economy and have the capital to participate then the freedom of such a system is quite apparent, but markets are in truth tyrannical systems of vicious collectivism if you have no interest in participating in them. give friedman a little bit of credit in realizing the contradiction, there, and presenting a negative income tax as a way to escape the tyranny of forced marketization.

do you think dr. wolf really believes that work communes are what replaces capitalism? most commentators - even those on the left - seem to think we're falling back into a neo-feudalism, mr hayek's thesis notwithstanding. and, i'm sort of privy to that, myself - financialization is the actual road to serfdom, and it's the superhighway we seem to be on.

i never vomit. it always comes out the other end. but, whatever reaction i was having this morning ended in heaving up an empty stomach. and, i instantly felt a million times better.

it might have been something like chugging coffee + iron supplements = bad trip.

i'm absorbing everything except iron.

that strongly suggests that i don't have a general absorption issue.

but, i need to finish the tests, first.

scoping for "celiac disease" should be the absolute last thing you do, after you've ruled out all of the real diseases.

"here lies jessica,

who ripped her stomach out searching for a disease that doesn't exist,

and in truth was just eating too many phytates."

ok, so i'm going to make a bet with myself.

if i can convince myself that i haven't figured this out by the time i've run through these blood tests, i'll let them scope me - because i'll be out of options.

but, if i can convince myself that i've figured this out without needing the scope, i'll do that. 

so, what i'm going to want to do is delay the scope. and, chances are that it won't be for a few weeks, at least, anyways.

it's a minimal risk, but i'm pretty risk adverse with my health. the chances that they're going to find anything are likely remote; if i rip my stomach out, i'll deserve a darwin award for it.

the kinds of people that walk around avoiding gluten are the kinds of people that should be rounded up in a room and shot on contact.

i don't want to be like that. 

gross.

i don't want to stop eating gluten.

i like gluten.

i mean, what happens if he diagnoses me with this make-believe disease called celiac?

nothing. there's no treatment, and there's no cure - because it's not a real disease. and, i'm not cutting out gluten like a fucking dipshit hipster, i'd rather kill myself. i won't live like that. 

i'll just keep with the iron pills.

no...

i'm not putting a scope down my stomach to check for a disease that doesn't exist, that's foolish. i'll just cancel that.

i'm sure that it's an interaction.

so, that was truly brutal, but i'm finally feeling better and need to eat. i should have eaten this morning but i was fucked up from the coffee...

it might have been a caffeine overdose. i dunno. it was awful, whatever it was - almost felt like a mushroom trip. just that feeling of being overwhelmed by a chemical and not being able to stop it. ugh.

and, now i'm very hungry.

the stomach doctor wanted to do a stomach exam and a colonoscopy, but i don't see the value in risking the complications from a colonoscopy, given that i have no symptoms of colon problems. i'm willing to let him do a stomach exam, though. he'll schedule that next week.

really, i think the zinc results should tell me what's going on, when i get them.

ugh.

i don't know what happened, exactly; i was feeling a little blurry this morning, and didn't want to go back to sleep, so i chugged several mugs worth of coffee and....yikes. very bad reaction.

i don't know if it was the coffee itself, or the coffee reacting with something else, but if i was trying to stay awake, it totally backfired. i've been flat on my back for hours.

and, i feel like garbage :(.

whatever it is, i have to wait for it to pass. i guess.

i have my stomach doctor appointment today, and i need the zinc results, so i'll need to call my doctor's office and ask them to fax it to him.

another sleepy morning. let's hope i'm up for the day.

today's post is the lost "curious george" suite, inri037.

if i ever find the lost version, i'll upload it, but i think it's gone.

====

so, i was absolutely mortified of george w. bush considerably before it was cool. 

clinton had some problems, and gore was, at the time, a cartoon character; if you want to blame it on something other than the rain (and the moon and the stars), you should blame it on low turnout - something that was largely probably spurred on by the assumption that bush couldn't possibly actually win. well, maybe it was a fitting way to end the 90s. here's your apathy, kids. served cold. ice cold. cold as the blood of a shape-shifting lizard person...and cold as the blood on it's hands. 

of course, standing in the spring of 2000, i had no way of knowing what was about to be unleashed. i was mostly still just pissed at clinton for bombing medicine factories in the sudan. i mean, the level of assholery underlying it was just.....the threat of "terrorism" could hardly justify that kind of indiscriminate bombing....fucking medicine factories... 

the way i interpreted it was something more along the lines of this half-evolved hominid of undisclosed type slowly riding into town on horseback (with cronies in tow, including one with a yellow hat). it felt like you could see him coming days in the distance. it was unclear what was going to happen when he got to town, but it felt ominous. there was nothing to do but just wait, maybe prepare a little and ultimately hope for the best, even while bracing for the worst. 

so, i did what i do - i wrote a conceptual piece about it with the intent of raising awareness. even just amongst friends would help, if they'd talk. etc. 

...or, well, i sort of did, anyways. see, i lost a hard drive around this period, and most of the song along with it. what is posted here is a 90% done version that i thought i had lost completely but stumbled upon a few months after the election, after i had moved. given the circumstances, i'm lucky that i found this at all. however, it's remained unreleased as a cohesive piece all of these years. 

well, the election was over. it was no longer worthwhile to finish it. i suppose that if i was operating on a profit motive, or a desire for control, i would have finished it. instead, i just felt like i failed to warn people, and it actually put me into a pretty deep depression for a while. it was too late, i blew it, we're fucking doomed....finishing it wouldn't matter....nothing mattered anymore... 

listening to it now, it could maybe use a bass part. all this was really missing, though, were the vocals - which were also lost on the hard drive. i have no recollection of them at all at this point and don't see the value in making new ones up. 

i did have the first and second section put aside somewhere, on a cd-r. i was able to fill that up with samples and get it out just before the election, and it also ended up sequenced into deny everything. so, it wasn't a total loss. 

as for this suite, though? i present it as i've recovered it, with no further comment than that it accurately represents the deep, foreboding fear of the future that was in the air around the period that bush was elected. 

this is a song cycle. 

recorded in spring, 2000. released, unmodified, on jan 10, 2014. release finalized on oct 3, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the full suite is now on the outtakes compilation, inrimoved (inri042): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimoved 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (2000, 2014, 2017). 

released may 10, 2000 

j - guitar, effects, bass, synth, drums, drum programming, sequencing, sound design (sound raider, audiomulch, granular synthesis, noise generators), loops, digital wave editing, production

i guess my system started collapsing in mid 2015, and i've long concluded that i only have marginal control over it - that somebody basically doesn't want me on the internet, and doesn't care if they have to ruin my tools in order to do it. i mean, i'd guess i'm dealing with the kind of people that reject the concept of art as vocation. the idea that i'm just an artist seems incomprehensible to them - i must be working for somebody. so, they just want me offline, and all they interpret this gear as is as a means to corrupt the youth. and, they just want to listen in, and they don't care how badly they have to screw all the signals up in order to do it.

have i shaken them yet? i might never....

but, it means i have this giant pile of electronics that the cia has rendered inoperable in a flatly stupid attempt to shut me down and that i'm going to have to slowly try to salvage.

one thing at a time. i can connect to the internet using the chromebook, and i need to get the recording pc up. i'm minus a stick of ram and will want to replace it soonish; it looks like concerts are probably cancelled for the year, so the next thing to spend money on is replacement parts for all the gear that was broken. the windows 98 pc is working, as well. and, finally building the 64-bit pc is no longer a distant task, but coming up when i work on the matlab project.

i'm not going to replace the backlight on the laptop as it's too risky, but i'll need to reimage the laptop with a customized windows 7 to rip out all of the networking apps, so they can't slave the machine.

slowly. slowly....

i'm less sleepy tonight, and making progress on the filing.

let's remember why i'm doing this.

so, i finished the july, 2013 archive and went to file it, but realized i couldn't do it because my filing apparatus was all in disorder. i then realized that in order to get the filing apparatus back in order, i'd have to get the laptop back up, but i can't do that until i get the filing apparatus back in order. ack.

so, i went through all of the loose media i have, copied it all over to the music pc and now need to put it all where i needs to be. then, i can build a copy of the laptop's backup drive, and then i can file the july archive and move on to the august one.

in the process, i should be able to build the alter-reality as well as get the machine in order for inri075.

...which means a reinstalll of the disc is imminent.

if i can sort through and finalize the material from mid 2003 to mid 2006 before i face another disruption, that's serious progress.

the paid sick days are intended to prevent low-income workers from acting as superspreaders, which puts tremendous strain on the system and costs everybody a lot of money.

conservatives do this over and over again - they're just not very good at economics, and not very good at accounting. they repeatedly look at short term costs, rather than long term consequences. and, they can never figure out which option costs more in the long run

so, i'm going to say this in terms that a dumb ape like doug ford can understand - if you let the virus continue to run rampant, it's going to cost the province a fortune. by letting low income workers isolate, you'll save money in the long run.

a little dialectical thinking can be very helpful when the media wants to polarize everything around stupid slogans and poorly thought through dichotomies. 

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/covid-19-ontario-april-28-2021-cases-slowing-1.6005192

that's right, i don't believe in property rights.

at all.

so, if you're going to tell me you should have the right to smoke in your own home, i'm going to tell you i don't believe in property rights and point to public health measures as the more pressing concern.

you don't have free reign to burn paint in your backyard, and you shouldn't have free reign to smoke drugs in it, either. there has to be some stricter health regulations in place.

but, don't put them in jail - just write them tickets.

in the end, we're going to have to pass some bylaws, once people get fed up with it and the gramscian conditioning around it being "cool" fades off.

for right now, it's ubiquitous - you can't escape it, which means you can't escape the negative health effects of it.

i don't think it's useful to send marijuana users to jail, but i do think we need stricter bylaws around it's use in residential spaces, to discourage people from polluting residential neighbourhoods with second-hand smoke. the intent should be to keep the smoke in the bar districts, so you can go into them to smoke if you want - but can, by default, avoid it, if you want. 

yeah, i'm still having difficulty staying awake.

the smoke down here was brutal this morning (it seemed to go through the door, but the essential issue is that it was overwhelming. there must have been several people smoking. there was no way i was blocking that much smoke, no matter what i did.), and the lying cops upstairs are now accusing me of being the source of it. i'm not sure what the best way to interpret that is.

it might be a signal that they've realized they're wasting their time and, like the corrupt cops they are, are going to try to manufacture an eviction out of it.

but, i've sent the whatever it is that exists up there - a landowner, a cop - multiple emails asking him to stop smoking, and i've gone to great lengths to try to smoke-proof the space under the realization that it's going to be very hard to find anything much better. take a walk down the street in windsor - there's drugs everywhere.

so, i threw it right back at him and he didn't react.

but, i'm going to start sending him emails whenever he's smoking, just to document it correctly.

and, i haven't touched the free pot further, yet; i'm more interested in finding ways to stay awake, right now.

today's post is the first post-inri and first deny everything release, inri036.

===

this is a collection of three tracks that were recorded in late '99 and early '00 with the intent of being included on record number three ('trinri') but were either discarded or stripped of samples on the way there. the purpose of this ep is not to be comprehensive, but to act as a transitional time capsule: this is the sound of exiting one project and entering another. as such, the narratives are scattered and better told separately. 

written and recorded in late 1999 and early 2000. these versions of these tracks were sequenced without further modification in jan, 2014. released on jan 9, 2014. re-released on physical media and finalized on oct 3, 2017, with the remainder of hummer added as a bonus track. as always, please use headphones. 

trinri eventually became my fourth record, deny everything (inri041): 

jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/deny-everything 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2000, 2006, 2014, 2017).

released january 25, 2000 

j - guitar, effects, synth, drumkit, drum programming, sequencing, sampling, digital wave manipulation, treatments, production

so, that was more unwanted sleeping.

but i'm done the copy phase at least, so i should be able to get directly to filing after i make some pasta.

i'm actually pretty critical of exaggerated nazi-baiting, and i repeatedly, consistently point out that if you're going to call somebody a nazi, you should make sure they actually are one.

which is what i did.

because he actually is one.

was i a little harsh on rolf?

rolf? that's german for ralph, right?

Rolf Lüders Schwarzenberg (born October 1, 1935 in Santiago) is a Chilean economist, entrepreneur, scholar and politician, former Minister of State of the military dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet. 

see, the thing is that i knew that. did you know that?

so, i don't regret the goebbels quip; it's reasonable. actually.

so, that's my reading of this - what seems to cause osteoporosis is neither a specific reduction in androgens, nor a specific reduction in estrogens, but a reduction in total sex hormones, overall. both men and women should be able to use both sex hormones to build bone density. while it is reasonable to treat ciswomen with estrogen and cismen with testosterone on the event that natural hormone production ceases, it doesn't seem to be necessary - the opposite treatment should be protective of osteoporosis, one way or another.

and i shouldn't worry about it.

this is very helpful.

so, apparently, your bones have androgen receptors and estrogen receptors. in a genetic male, bone resorption can happen via either/or - and your body will actually convert testosterone to estrogen using an enzyme called aromatase, in order to bind to the estrogen receptors.

a genetic male with decreased testosterone would consequently have less hormones to bind to the receptors, but that binding can happen via either hormone. so, the conversion doesn't seem to be total, after all. i would have to suppose that there is minimal, if any, sexual dimorphism in bone resorption, and women build and maintain bone density using the same process - just with more estrogen reception and less tesosterone reception.

logically, then, it shouldn't matter if you give your bones androgens or estrogens, so long as you're not decreasing your total hormone levels.

and, it's interesting to note that you can convert testosterone to estrogen, but you can't convert the estrogen back to testosterone, again.

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5036835/

hrmmn.

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/266017

...and grocery shopping on foot with a knapsack full of food is probably the best load-bearing exercise you could imagine.

ok.

i should get tests and see, but i think i should worry more about maximizing estrogen high than i should about minimizing testosterone, in regards to bone density health. 

so, if the reason that testosterone-deficiency leads to osteoporosis in men is that the ability to convert testosterone to estrogen is reduced, it would follow that replacing testosterone with estrogen would have potential benefits to bone health.

Although men with low testosterone are recommended for testosterone replacement to build bone mass, the science has not yet shown to what extent the bone-building benefit is a direct testosterone effect or the result of turning testosterone into estrogen. It is important, therefore, not to minimize the role of testosterone-to-estrogen conversion. Estrogen preserves bone density in both men and women. Men normally convert testosterone to estrogen in a slow rate to build bone mass.2

Men who genetically lack an enzyme to make even small amounts of estrogen are prone to osteoporosis; this is shown by the fact that if they receive estrogen, their osteoporosis improves. So even though estrogen is not present in very high concentrations in the blood of men, it is a critical factor for bone health.

https://www.uspharmacist.com/article/male-osteoporosis-an-overview-43114

interesting.

Research suggests that estrogen deficiency may also be a cause of osteoporosis in men. For example, estrogen levels are low in men with hypogonadism and may play a part in bone loss. Osteoporosis has been found in some men who have rare disorders involving estrogen. Therefore, the role of estrogen in men is under active investigation.

https://www.bones.nih.gov/health-info/bone/osteoporosis/men

i mean...

if i was a ciswoman, and i walked into a doctor's office, and they diagnosed me with osteoporosis, what are they going to do about it?

they're going to put me on estrogen.

so, let's update that list:

pros:

- removing testicles reduces testicular cancer risk

- getting off cyproterone is good for my liver

- increased serum estrogen is good for heart health

- increased serum estrogen may also increase iron absorption 

- increased serum estrogen may protect against osteoporosis

cons:

- potential breast cancer risk

- decreased testosterone without estrogen supplementation is weakly linked to osteoporosis in cancer survivors

- some chance of weight gain

there is a big difference between myself and a prostate cancer patient, regarding the osteoporosis thing, though - i'm taking a ton of estrogen, and it should work better once the testosterone production ceases entirely and that tug-of-war shuts down.

yes - decreased testosterone is bad for osteoporosis. but, increased estrogen is good for it. and, that's probably why those results are inconclusive.

let's test me and see where i am, already.

my thyroid and alp were also tested recently, and both came in at the lowish end of normal. but, i definitely don't have an overactive thyroid.

so, i have no symptoms of low bone density except the gum recession, and i'm going to guess that is probably more due to low iron - and am curious to see how it changes, if at all, with increased iron levels.

but, i should bring it up, anyways.

and let's move on.

the data appears to be inconclusive.

Studies investigating BMD in transgender women receiving hormones have shown both lower, higher and no change in bone density after initiating hormones.[4-11] 

https://transcare.ucsf.edu/guidelines/bone-health-and-osteoporosis

i've been on hormones now for over ten years. testing me directly is the way to go.

i'm not injecting anything radioactive into my arm, though.

this is probably something i should do, anyways.

my serum calcium levels were recently checked, and came in fairly high. my d was considered "sufficient". and, i get tons of exercise.

i've never broken a bone.

i have that gum recession, though.

i don't know if a bone density test is covered or not, but i should ask about it and base my decision on he results.

so, my testosterone has been much less than 1 nmol/L for years.

according to this paper, serum testosterone post-orchiectomy would range from 1-2 nmol/L.

https://www.karger.com/Article/Pdf/209352

that is, i actually shouldn't expect an increased reduction in serum testosterone (hopefully, it doesn't go up...), although i may be able to minimize the hormonal fight in my body, which should help the estrogen work better.

that is, while my estrogen should go up, my testosterone probably won't go down - and might even come up. confusing, yes.

that means that i'm probably already as risk of osteoporosis as i ever would be, post-op, and any testing i do now should be useful as to whether it's safe to continue this or not.

why don't i ask this question to start - what are normal testosterone serum levels in post-removal patients?

i'm currently quite low and have been for years. am i currently even lower than what i'd expect, post-removal?

i mean, you get some testosterone from food, even. women produce some, too. so, it's not going to go to zero. how low does it go?

what i should do is this: i should bring it up with my gp. maybe he can recommend some tests to determine if i'm at risk for osteoporosis or not.

that's really what i need here - to construct a probability. i need a likelihood estimate.

i can do all the research i want, it's the tests that matter, in the end.

ok.

do i really want to do this?

i mean, it's sort of a point of no return. i could flip-flop tomorrow and decide i want to be a dude, after all - however unlikely. once the testicles are gone, they're gone - and the testosterone is gone with them. that's it.

obviously, i've thought a lot about this, and if i'm having second thoughts, it's more about longevity than anything else. there's no question in my mind that i want to get to zero testosterone - i made that choice years ago, that's settled. and, the point is actually to take the stress off of my liver. but, i don't really want osteoporosis. chopping my balls off and getting osteoporosis from it at the age of 55 would qualify me for a darwin award, wouldn't it?

so, my lingering questions are about how safe this is and how it's going to affect my lifespan, rather than about whether it's what i want; there's no question it's what i want, but i also remember the words taught to me in a hymn, as a child: you can't always get what you want.

so, let me review the safety of this.

what i'll say off the top is that my testicles are likely a serious cancer risk, given that i'm not using them. i mean, this isn't going to be a monolithic thing, i'm going to need to weigh it out:

pros:

- removing testicles reduces testicular cancer risk

- getting off cyproterone is good for my liver

- increased serum estrogen is good for heart health

- increased serum estrogen may also increase iron absorption 

cons:

- potential breast cancer risk

- osteoporosis?

- some chance of weight gain

they can't schedule an orchidectomy right now, but they've agreed to schedule me one when they can.

so, there's some light at the end of the tunnel, there.

again: the red cross is really not an appropriate place for canadian tax money to be directed towards, in general. but, sending money to a religious group when we need more funding on science is just reflective of how this government thinks.

1) we have the thatcherian proposition that "charity work" should be done by ngos rather than governments, which needs to change asap.

2) we have the idea that india needs charity, rather than solidarity, underlying the position, in the first place.

...because the ideology in place is that canada is superior, and india is inferior. so, dominant canada needs to help little weak india.

which is not just offensive and racist, but is empirically wrong.

i would repeat my call for international solidarity, not christian aid work. we need scientists and doctors on the ground to stop the variants from running out of control, not preachers looking to exchange aid for conversion therapy.

https://www.ctvnews.ca/politics/canada-sending-10m-to-indian-red-cross-to-support-covid-19-fight-1.5404190

and today's post is the inri disc, the first period disc. this is actually not done yet and can't be until the alter-reality catches up, but i should have a skeleton of it up relatively shortly.

===

note that this release should have a physical companion component to it. 

purchasing this release does not come with a download. 

inri000: originally released dec 25, 1996. remastered oct 30, 2013. finalized june 26, 2016. 

inri001: originally released jun 1, 1997. remastered nov 8, 2013. finalized july 3, 2016. 

inri002: originally written and recorded over 1996-1997. sequenced and mildly modified in dec, 2013. released dec 11, 2013. finalized on july 3, 2016. lp000. 

inri003: created in mid 1997. sequenced and converted to stereo in november, 2013. released on nov 9, 2013. corrected in september, 2014. finalized on july 5, 2016. 

inri004: originally written in 1997 and first created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. finally reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and extrapolated upon over the first half of 2016. released on july 4, 2016. finalized on july 5, 2016. 

inri005: initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015. released on jan 4, 2016. finalized on july 6, 2016. lead track added and refinalized july 20, 2016. 

inri006: originally created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and then manipulated further in the summer of 2016. released & finalized on july 7, 2016. hidden track added and re-finalized on july 18, 2016. 

inri007: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. released on jan 4, 2016. sequenced on jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 10, 2016. hidden track added and refinalized on july 21, 2016. 

inri008: initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. released on jan 4, 2016. finalized on july 11, 2016. bonus tracks added and re-finalized on july 18, 2016. 

inri009: initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 7, 2016. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 20, 2016. 

inri010: initially written in 1996. recreated in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 12, 2015. vocals added july 15, 2015. sequenced, released and finalized on july 22, 2016. 

inri011: originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016. released on jan 6, 2016. finalized on july 23, 2016. 

inri012: initially written in 1996. recreated in the spring of 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on nov 26, 2015. sequenced on jan 10, 2016. released & finalized on july 24, 2016. 

inri013: written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. symph001. 

inri014: initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29, 2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19, 2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016 and split back apart on jan 8, 2016. released on jan 5, 2016. audio permanently closed on aug 1, 2016. release finalized on oct 9, 2016. 

inri015: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. re-released jan 10, 2016. audio permanently closed on aug 10, 2016. finalized on oct 10, 2016. lp001. 

inri016: created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16, 2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct 27, 2016. 

inri017: initially written over the course of 1997. recreated and expanded over the course of 1998. lead track first sequenced in this form in feb, 1999. further remixes generated over the course of 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013, and another in late 2015. remastered in november, 2016 from various sources, 1997-2015. finalized & released on nov 17, 2016. 

inri018: initially written in 1997. recreated and reconceptualized in late 1998. salvaged somewhat at the end of 1999. remastered in 2013. compiled & released on nov 13, 2016. finalized on nov 19, 2016. final album version added as a bonus track and refinalized on dec 15, 2016. 

inri019: written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released on nov 24, 2016. release finalized on nov 27, 2016. symph002.. 

inri020: initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. released & finalized on dec 13, 2016. 

inri021: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized & re-released on dec 15, 2016. lp002. 

inri022: recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. released dec 27, 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized and re-released on december 16, 2016. 

inri023: constructed over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. released dec 27, 2013. the first two tracks were corrected to stereo in sept, 2014. the last two tracks were added for re-release as a remix lp in dec, 2016. re-released & finalized as lp003 on dec 17, 2016. 

inri024: initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. finalized dec 17, 2016. lp004. 

inri025: this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. released & finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. 

inri026: initially written in the fall of 1997. recorded in the winter of 1999. remixed in late 2013 and again in early 2014. this track was separated from my second record in january, 2016 but the single was not completed until it was remixed one last time in sept, 2017. released & finalized on sept 10, 2017. 

inri027: streamed to disk in one take on the afternoon of march 9, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. 

inri028: constructed over a few days in april, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. 

inri029: recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published on november 30, 2013. re-released (with new hidden track) and finalized as symph003 on sept 13, 2017. 

inri030: initially created in sept, 1997. remixed and reimagined repeatedly over 1998 and 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. partially reclaimed dec 8, 2014. rebuilt and resequenced on jan 9, 2016 out of material that had been remastered over 2013-2016. reimagined again on oct 26, 2016 out of material that was created in jan, 2016, but not released (and finalized) until sept 13, 2017, in order to properly fit into sequence. 

inri031: recorded over the spring and summer of 1999. originally released on inrimake in october, 1999 (with an accidental phase reverse). the first section was modified further at the end of 1999. minimally altered and split into it's own ep on january 3rd, 2014. spliced further, appended to and remastered over sept, 2017. re-released and finalized on sept 28, 2017. 

inri032: recorded sporadically, and without cohesive intent, over '98 and '99. originally compiled in the fall of '99. augmented and minimally altered in january, 2014. released on jan 3, 2014. finalized as lp006 on sept 21, 2017. as always, please use headphones - but note that they are especially mandatory for this recording. 

inri033: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in dec, 1999. slightly resequenced in jan, 2014. re-released jan 3, 2014. finalized as lp007 on sept 19, 2017. this is my third official record. 

inri034: written & recorded in the fall of 1999. originally released on inridiculous in december, 1999. split into it's own ep on january 3, 2014. remastered, finalized & re-released on sept 28, 2017 

inri035: initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed between 2013-2015. initially released as part zero of a three volume set on may 21, 2015. split into it's own release on june 14, 2015. finalized as lp008 on sept 29, 2017. 

inri036: written and recorded in late 1999 and early 2000. these versions of these tracks were sequenced without further modification in jan, 2014. released on jan 9, 2014. re-released on physical media and finalized on oct 3, 2017, with the remainder of hummer added as a bonus track. 

originally created from 1996-2000. this compilation is dated to jan 2, 2000. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2030. compilation will be finalized in jan, 2030. as always, please use headphones. 

released january 2, 2000 

j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, keyboards, synthesizers, piano, orchestral & other sequencing, drum programming, drum kit, percussion, pick scrapes, metronomes, vocals, vocal relics, mic noises, tapes, found sounds, paper, sampling, vocoders, octavers, cool edit wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, noise generators, noise reduction, soundraider, hammerhead, sound design, strategies, light-wave synthesis, digital wave editing, digital effects processing, loops, text-to-speech synthesis, remixes, reconstructions, reinterpretations, chance, a broken tape deck, production. 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include piano, organ, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, sitar, tubular bells, tinkle bells, synthesizer effects and flute.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/period-1

that was an unexpected nap, but i feel a little more alert. 

the chkdsk is done, so i can get on that this evening - and it means i'm just about done getting everything on to the pc, so i can file it there and get to the next thing.

they make a decent case.

https://www.peta.org/features/tax-meat/

meat is junk.

we tax junk.

call it a sin tax, but it's a good idea.

well...

biden may not want to ban meat, but i think policies to reduce meat consumption are a necessary step in the right direction. the insistence that he'd never do anything like that, and relegation of it to a "conspiracy theory", is a deflating reminder that he's not actually serious about limiting emissions.

a specific meat tax on top of a carbon tax is actually a good idea that i'd probably support.

that said, the focus on meat production as a specifically carbon-intensive industry is actually an empirically wrong approach, and the confluence of environmentalism with animal rights movements, while positive, has produced a fair amount of misleading information around the consumption of meat products and it's effects on the environment; more specifically, the messaging ignores or obscures that, while grazing is a poor use of land, it's actually industrial plant agriculture that creates the larger amount of total greenhouse gas emissions, due to it's reliance on oil-based pesticides and nitrogen-based fertilizers.

that's right: the way we do plant-based agriculture today actually creates more emissions than the way we do animal-based agriculture. so, while the animal rights activists and health advocates are right to try to convince you to reduce your meat consumption, this specific argument that meat is bad for emissions is misleading, so long as we're comparing animal grazing to industrialized plant farming. if you want an improvement, you'd have to move to different methods to produce plant-based agriculture, and the technology required to do that while producing enough to feed billions of people on top of a reduction in meat consumption is currently just getting ramped up.

on this day, you can look that up yourself.

https://www.thestar.com/news/world/2021/04/26/no-joe-bidens-climate-plan-doesnt-ban-burgers-but-that-hasnt-stopped-fact-blind-republican-rage.html

i'm ultimately going to want to check everything.

but, that might be the answer - an iron+zinc+copper pill, or something.

to be clear: i don't suggest eating dirt. the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.

i need zinc results to understand what i'm doing, but i may even want to look at a specific kind of multivitamin - one high in minerals, specifically - in order to compensate for the lost dirt.

it makes sense.

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/would-you-like-side-dirt-eating-soil/

it's easy enough to piece together a theory that ice age humans may have been unable to access sufficient minerals from the soil (because it was frozen, or hidden underneath the snow and ice) and consequently adjusted by relying on meat for mineral absorption, instead. in the process, those who could best utilize the minerals in meat were most successful. so, those genes were passed on.

but, that would have only been true in areas affected by the ice age.

in warmer climates, those evolutionary pressures would have been limited, and the reliance on the soil for minerals would have continued.

i napped a little instead. that's ok - i'm awake now.

the recording pc is undergoing a lengthy chkdsk that is going to slow me down. again. but i'm closer to being done, now.

i'm still awaiting these zinc results, but, i'm thinking about the long term "naturalness" of taking iron pills and wondering - what is the most likely way that humans evolved to absorb iron?

i mean, one of the symptoms of iron deficiency that i uncovered was something called "pica" - a craving for dirt. this is pathologized in the literature, but how much sense does that really make? i have a tendency to pull back on things like that and ask if there's an evolutionary process at work, rather than a disease.

this is interesting:

https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2014/04/02/297881388/the-old-and-mysterious-practice-of-eating-dirt-revealed

they say they can't figure it out, but it seems to be rather obviously linked to mineral deficiencies and rather obviously something that was lost in the shift from hunter-gatherer to agricultural societies. and, if it's women that have a stronger prevalence of the craving, it makes sense to think that what they're craving is, specifically, iron.

another thing to think about is the way we eat plants nowadays compared to how we evolved to eat them. fruits, vegetables & spices, nowadays, are these semi-plastic items that have been sanitized to sell the shiny coatings on them. we even spray them with chemicals to make them sparkle in the store. but, when our ancestors ate a potato or a beet or a carrot, not to mention spinach or lettuce, they ate the soil with it - and got a higher mineral count from it, as a result. this would have been true for hunter gatherers and for subsistence farmers, all the way up until the oil & pesticide era clicked in in the middle of the last century.

so, we're fed this line about getting iron from meat, and i've already debunked that - it's just empirically false. even full on carnivores get upwards of 60% of their iron from plants. with all of the other health problems associated with meat, it seems daft to increase your meat to get more iron, specifically. and, as i've said before, if i'm going to do this, in the end, i'm going to look for some kind of seafood. i need zinc results.

and, how weird is just eating iron shavings in the first place? we have examples of very ancient mines, upwards of 100,000 years old. eventually, iron becomes a precious commodity, used to fashion tools. but, how did we interact with iron before the iron age?

so, if we initially evolved to get our iron from dirt and maybe even actually from eating iron, this idea of taking pills becomes a lot less space age - and potentially even quite primal. the centrality of meat eating didn't happen until a little later on in the process, and would have been correlated with moving into colder climates (and may have even been caused by scarcity in vegetation during an ice age). for that reason, iron absorption would both increase as you move into colder climates and also shift towards heme along with a more central focus of meat in the diet. but, that's kind of what i'm getting at, in my supposition that i'm ultimately genetically pre-conditioned for lower iron absorption because i'm genetically descended from populations that lived in warmer climates.

maybe it's the way we evolved to do this, anyways.