like i said before, this is the right way to do this - the diet plan was a good start, but you have to test it to make sure it works, too.

i know it's easy to blame it on the phytates, but my calcium and magnesium levels are both high.

let's see what the zinc levels are...

so, i got to the doctor's office and back in less than an hour and got recs for the following things i suggested:

- reticulocyte (am i actually bleeding?)

- ldh (to test for spleen damage and general organ malfunction)

- ck isoenzymes ("")

- lead  (it's entirely plausible, given where i live, that i'm experiencing lead poisoning.)

- hepcidin (i think this is the key one. he didn't know what it was, either.)

- zinc (i focused just on the zinc this time, out of curiosity)

- ferritin (let's see what effect two weeks of pills has had)

...as well as the following things he suggested:

- haptoglobin (my blood results are weird, but this will clarify what's going on a little in terms of what kind of anemia is present. but, i actually suspect this will come back normal, or close to it, just to make it all that much more confusing.)

- urine & fecal test for blood traces (i'll let them do it, but...)

- h pylori (which is a bacteria i posted a little about previously. again, sure - let's be thorough. fine.) 

he also ordered a "urinalysis" and we'll have to see what's in the test regarding things like vitamins and minerals. but, i held off on a lot of stuff this appointment, and let him doctor, instead. we can do a full vitamin & mineral count next time.

this should clarify quite a bit, i think.

i'm posting them here ahead of time to make sure i don't miss anything when it comes back.

the only things in my list that got skipped were the vitamins and minerals, which were intended to check for full absorption, but also for my own nutrition project. i mean, are there any other weak points besides the iron?

- vitamins a, b1-b7, c, e, k & choline/betaine  (some in urinalysis, though?)

- selenium & iodine

- molybdenum, copper, nickel, manganese & chromium

- fluoride

- nitrates (in urinalysis, though?)

- cadmium, aluminum, arsenic, mercury

- protein / amino acids (in urinalysis, though?)

as mentioned, i'm ok waiting until next time for this stuff. there's enough in the test already as it is.

he suggested i hold off on the appointment for a hematologist because everything's coming back fine, for now; that is, he didn't see anything to specifically refer to him. fair enough.

so, i am actually almost done sorting through this pile of external media - i have two more drives to sort through, and then it's going to be a different process.

i'm stopping for the morning and will be back at it this afternoon.

i got off facebook a long time ago, and the only redeeming lingering quality it really had was an easily sortable timeline...which is now gone.

we have that here, thankfully.

but, i'm wondering if it wouldn't be better to just wipe the thing down....

i'm not there yet, and it doesn't matter right now. soon, though.

and, how am i feeling? 

substantively more alert.

actually.

so, i've sorted through everything and the only thing i can find that is amiss is those weird kickstarter accounts. strange.

also, there's one account that won't let me login, and that's potentially a concerning point.

the general bizarrity of the situation continues.

i got my pins in today, which should help me get some stuff out of boxes as soon as i can get into the back space, which will happen as soon as i can defrost the fridge, which is fairly soon.

for now, i've got everything i wanted to get off the internet off and on to the external drive and am willing to step away from this.

i'm not going to get to the alter-reality today, but i'm closer to it than i have been in quit a while.

today's post is my third official record, inridiculous, aka inri033. that closes the trilogy. sort of. trinri became my fourth lp, instead, but isn't thematically similar. 

=======

except to split out the last track as a single, i've decided not to alter this in any way. 

i was moving, conceptually, to more serious styles of music. i wanted to write these epic 20-minute trips that reached into every genre imaginable. you can hear that shift over the last few things i posted, and it really accelerates moving into the year 2000. there wasn't much left of 'inri' by the time i got there. 

what i had left was a bunch of noise tracks that i'd been putting aside for a third demo, trinri, that was meant to carry on with the same concept as the first two: "songs" and "collages" would alternate over 19 tracks. the problem i ran up against with trinri was that i was no longer interested in writing songs. what was coming out, instead, were these fifteen minute journeys. that's ultimately the driving reason that i switched things up: the format had worn itself thin. 

in an attempt to establish conceptual unity, i pulled the noise collages together (along with some older collages that i had pulled from various sources as far back as my first demo tape) into this thing. i became aware at some point, very suddenly, that the whole idea and product was sort of ridiculous. hence the title. 

this recording is consequently void of actual songs. it isn't easy to listen to, and offers few reprieves, but if you're a fan of a specific kind of electronic psychedelia then you may find something of enjoyment here. 

written and demoed in multiple stages from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in dec, 1999. slightly resequenced in jan, 2014. re-released jan 3, 2014. finalized as lp007 on sept 19, 2017. this is my third official record; as always, please use headphones. 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013, 2014, 2017). 

released december 10, 1999 

j - guitar, effects, bass, keyboards, tapes, synthesizers, live drums, drum programming, hammerhead (909 emulator), sound raider, sampling, cool edit synthesis/sequencing, noise generators, sound design, loops, digital effects processing, digital wave editing, flute

to be clear: the mongols and chinese didn't like each other. clearly.

but, the mongols were never this group of noble savages like the germans, slavs and celts were; they had empires (and emperors), they enforced taxes, they colonized, etc.

so, it was more like you had competing ethnic groups with more or less the same governing ideology.

the division in europe was about more than race - there was a distinct ideological boundary. so, it was that much more profound, and the clash that occurred was that much more substantive.

so, this seems like a student body at oxford that has decided to put some lectures by guest speakers up online.

i'll take a run through that and see if i want to stick with it or not.

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8tThrdb4QUCZLjTgPeAYiQ/videos

you know, the british have a house of lords. in fact, that's what the magna carta actually was - representation by clan. and, i certainly couldn't suggest, with good conscience, that that kind of system should be exported to somalia; after all, the british people spent a fair amount of time tearing it down.

i'm not going to fact check everything this guy said, but he made a very large number of questionable, misleading or false assertions. i'll just tag it with caveat auditor and leave it at that.

that said, the basic dialectic he's presenting it's exceedingly useful. i've made my own biases towards the german variant of anarchism known, but let's not pretend it was unique - it was just the most recent example of a process that occurred in rome, in greece and probably in sumeria (where our records are a little less reliable), where you have these anarchist northerners coming into contact with these settled southerners, and seeing different kinds of economic organization throw thesis and antithesis against each other. this dialectical process really repeats in history - it's not just a europe v china thing. and, what seems to be the significant difference in china is that the mongols were never an antithesis to the chinese, so the synthesis never formed out of it.

so, i'm not going to endorse anything this guy says; i'd instead suggest significant caution in listening to him. but, i'm going to suggest watching it, nonetheless, as the framing is actually exceedingly relevant.

that happens sometimes - you have a good idea, and bad or insufficient deductions drawn from it.

but, we have to get the point, ok?

we don't have this broad tax base funded by good union jobs anymore. that's gone.

now, we have a sharp division between the rich and the poor, and if we want a social system then there's no choice but making the rich pay for it.

nor are these good union jobs coming back any time soon, without serious shifts in global economic policy.

and, if you don't like that, you need to reflect on the policies that brought us here - you hollowed it out, it's gone and we have to adjust.

but, of course it's the same people that brought us neo-liberalism that won't adjust for it. they want it both ways, and they need some sense knocked into them - they can't have it both ways. they won, their policies were enacted and the consequences of them - the elimination of the middle class - are upon us. now, we have to change.

no, i'm going to double down on it - we need a change in attitude.

we don't have these vulnerable, poor old folks that need extra help anymore, we have filthy rich seniors that control almost all of the wealth and won't share it.

and, we have to claw it back. it's the only really serious solution.

they're not the majority any more; we can do this. and, it's about time, too.

a nice boost in property taxes would go a long way to ensuring that the boomers pay for their own healthcare.

i mean, everybody's concerned about how you pay for the retiring boomers.

but, there's really a very simple answer, if you look at the data - make the boomers pay for their own care.

and, i'd rather do it via progressive taxation than via market liberalization, as nobody wants seniors dying on the streets.

i want to be clear that i am in favour of tax increases, just not sales tax increases, which are a regressive way to raise money because they make everybody pay the same percentage. the focus should be on getting people to spend more, not on punishing them for doing it. this is an idea called "flat taxation" that is generally championed by political conservatives, but is really preferred by the wealthy more than any particular political grouping.

rather, it's the people at the higher end of the income spectrum that should be carrying a higher burden, by paying higher income and property taxes. this is called "progressive taxation" and is the type of taxation that liberals and socialists prefer, as it takes the burden off of working people.

now, with the pandemic, we're exiting a period of neo-liberalism, so what this article by the tory media represents is a sort of confusion about where the economic doctrine is moving in the future. this idea of "broadening the tax base" was a part of the washington consensus, but that's been left behind, now, as we return to a softer kind of keynesianism.

we're going to have to push back against it, clearly. but, if politicians are concerned about winning re-election, they want to avoid flat taxes or sales taxes. we didn't like the gst - you might even remember that. rather than broadening the tax base, politicians in the future are likely to be concerned about broadening their voting coalition, and progressive taxation is the smarter way to do it in a country where the middle class has been ripped apart.

put another way: it may have been true thirty years ago that raising taxes on the rich was politically dangerous, but the result of that policy has been that a generation of people has found themselves with declining amounts of wealth, as a small elite makes off like bandits. that has now flipped over - that source of income has now been raided for all it's worth, and the only politically feasible way to balance budgets is to undo this historic shift of wealth upwards and go after the rich.

so, yes - taxes have to go up, and i agree with it.

but, we should be increasing taxes on the rich, and not on consumption. let's boost property taxes, income taxes, corporate taxes, inheritance taxes...that kind of stuff. that's where the money is. and, it's where the popular will is, now, too.

...because things change, and policies have outcomes; history is still unfolding, after all.

https://globalnews.ca/news/7773197/canada-federal-provincial-debt-sales-tax-increase/

this is actually weirder than i thought.

this email was sent to kickstarter:

========

hi.

i sent you something via the website form not too long ago, but i've

found this address in my other mailbox and i need to followup on the

initial request.

so, i am the rightful owner of both death.to.koalas@gmail.com &

jessicaambermurray@gmail.com, amongst other addresses. they are both

old accounts at this point, although the former actively forwards mail

to my newest account. i thought the latter did as well, but i'm

realizing that this hasn't been true for quite some time. that may be

a sign i got hacked.

i'm realizing that somebody seems to have gotten into the second

account (jessicaambermurray) around february of 2020 and tried to get

into the first account (death.to.koalas) around april of that year.

the *only* reason i'm realizing that is that they set up fake

kickstarter accounts - a strange thing for them to do. so, i'm very

curious as to any information you can provide to me regarding what was

done, apparently using my email address.

if you check your records, you'll see that i contacted you in april,

2020 about a "marge batson" using death.to.koalas@gmail.com. that's a

fake name. you concluded that they didn't have information about my

bank account, etc. ok.

but, after sorting through this older address, i see that they had

already set up a fake account in february, 2020 using this address,

and i've only deleted that account as of today. they may have removed

forwarding from the account.

so, the chronology seems to be:

- they set up a fake account using jessicaambermurray@gmail.com on

february 11, 2020. the name they used was rosalie walkner, which is a

completely fake name.

- they also set up a fake account using death.to.koalas@gmail.com on

april 29, 2020. the name they used was "marge batson", also a totally

fake name.

- my legal name is not jessica amber murray, but it is the female name

i use. i'm a transgendered person.

- i caught the second fake account almost immediately, and had it

deleted. i contacted you over the website form, and you sent me the

following email on april 30, 2020 from support@kickstarter.com (and

note that i carry on after the pasted email):

---

Your request has been updated. You can add a comment by replying to this email.

Kickstarter Trust & Safety (Kickstarter)

Apr 30, 9:42 AM EDT

Hi there,

Thanks so much for reaching out and alerting us to this activity. We

can confirm the account  associated with your email address has been

deleted.

Though this account was created using your email address, rest assured

that it does not appear that any of your personal information (your

personal email account, credit card information, etc.) has been

breached.

Thanks again for notifying us of this, and please let us know if you

have any other questions or concerns.

Best regards,

Kickstarter Trust & Safety

Death.to.koalas

Apr 30, 5:00 AM EDT

hi.

i recently received a "welcome to kickstarter" email, despite the fact

that i did not sign up for kickstarter. when i realized what had

happened, i changed the password on the account (that i did not

create.), and learned that the account was unverified.

the account was created under the name "marge batson". that is not my name.

i have since deleted this account. but, i would appreciate it if you

would permanently ban this address from setting up any further sort of

account. i don't want this to happen again.

i live on disability and could not accept any money raised in this

manner, unless it has six or more zeroes.

thank you,

jessica

=======

why would somebody hack my account in order to try to set up a

kickstarter account other than to carry through an illegal transaction

and try to pin it on me? and, why would they be so insistent as to do

it twice if the outcome was benign?

so, my questions to you are as follows:

- was the account at jessicaambermurray@gmail.com (that is, this

address) ever verified? that can help me understand if the email

account was ever breached and how i ought to respond to it. if it

wasn't, i might wonder if it's more likely that somebody is trolling

me. i have a sprawling internet presence from years worth of message

board participation, and i've drawn attention to myself from places on

the internet i don't otherwise interact with.

- can you tell me if any financial transactions were ever made using

the account? i have no reason to think that my own bank account was

compromised, and actually don't use that address for financial

transactions. but, i'm concerned that somebody might have done

something shady and used my name to do it. i'm even concerned that

somebody may have raise money in my name.

- can you tell me the last time somebody logged into the account,

besides today when i deleted it? this can help me understand how

recent the breach was.

i've changed all my passwords, but i've suspected i might be being

cyberstalked for quite a while, and any help getting my head around it

would be useful.

j

=========

i've also sent the following to academia.edu:

hi.

like many people, i have a lot of old gmail accounts that i barely use, and i'm realizing that one of them, jessicaambermurray@gmail.com, may have been hacked quite some time ago, and potentially taken over by somebody. but, if so, it's very strange what they've done.

i do remember signing up for academia.edu, because i was doing research on my diet and i wanted to download a paper on flavonoids. i used this old address becuse it was my facebook account's address. i also recall reading some papers about betaine. so, i definitely set up this account, myself.

but, when i logged into the account today, i found a fake name attached to it, and it's the same fake name i found attached to a fake kickstarter account. this is suggesting that somebody with my password logged into the account i set up and filled in fake details about it. it's very hard for me to understand why somebody would do that, unless they were broadly impersonating me in multiple ways.

i have deleted this account, because i'm concerned about being hacked and it was registered under a name that is not mine. no offense to academia.org.

but, i'm wondering if you can send me a list of dates that this account was logged into, before being deleted, today. this can help me understand the nature and depth of this breach of this address.

i have changed my password, but i need to understand why somebody would do such a bizarre thing.

====

and, after i get some breakfast, i'll have to spend some time logging into old accounts and figuring out who's been in what.

in fact, i had set up mail forwarding there in may, 2020. but, it didn't seem to implement. weird...

i've changed all the passwords for everything, now.

well, i've been concerned about some kind of cyber attack for years, now. but, it never made any sense - i don't have anything to steal. even my identity is worth $100,000 in student loan debt. so, it makes you wonder. what's the point? it's gotta be the cops, then.

but, what if somebody's been quietly logging into my account for years? what if they set up a fake kickstarter account? 

it's weird, at the least.

hrmmn.

there's nothing funny at the carleton site. and, i actually seem to have signed up for the academia.edu site to research flavonoids in september. they used that site because i signed up via facebook. so, that's ok.

but, i'm sure i had forwarding set up - it wasn't. i had to turn it back on.

so, i'm reducing potential suspicious activity to the kickstarter site, which is fishy enough as it is. that's actually twice, now, that somebody set up a fake kickstarter site from that address - once with the name "marge batson" and the other time with the name "rosalie walkner". 

so, i sent an email to kickstarter about it. i can't see any evidence of taking part in any kickstarter projects, but it's unsettling.

i've changed my facebook password as well.

alright, so i've got all of the takeout stuff dealt with, and even organized my google drive shares a little.

in the process, i'm realizing that somebody may have hacked an address i use only rarely: jessicaambermurray@gmail.com. this person seems to be using the fake identity of "rosalie walker". as one example, they set up a fake kickstarter account that i've since deleted. they also set up an account at academia.edu that i've deleted. and, they subscribed to ezra levant, which is sort of embarrassing - that's not something i'd subscribe to. at all.

i had to change the password.

i have no evidence that this person is doing anything damaging to me, or any clues as to what the point of hacking into my email address might have been. that address is not associated with my bank account, for example...and, it's not as though there's much in there. this only seems to have started happening about september of last year.

in fact, that address is associated with my facebook account, only - an account i basically don't use anymore, and may end up deleting. i got off facebook because the ui was awful, and it's just gone from bad to horrendous.

the one extra thing i want to check is my carleton accounts.

i also need to insist on testing for lead, specifically. this is definitely all consistent with lead poisoning, something this city has a history of.

this is a very old house (definitely built before 1950), but i was told the pipes in here were recently replaced with pvc. i guess a blood test will determine how true that is.

ok, i'm awake, let's get to doing something.

i don't have any soreness around my abdomen.

i'm not having trouble breathing (except from the pollution being spewed by the drug addicts in the neighbourhood - it's asthma, not something interfering with my lungs expanding and contracting).

the thing that's scaring me most is the spleen. even if i have cancer, i've probably got some time. and, i mean, i'm not immortal - if that's what gets me, so be it. but, if my spleen is fucked, death is potentially imminent.

so, i'm going to ask for a rec for a hematologist.

i still think i'm looking at poor absorption, but i should be rigorous, and they may have some insights for me.

the one type of cancer this makes sense with is leukemia or leukemia-like blood cancers.

i remember my grandmother telling me once that she had an underactive thyroid.

but, that would mean there's two issues here - something blocking iron absorption and an underactive thyroid. and, if i can get the iron back up, i can probably manage the thyroid.

so, i mean, i'll ask about it, but it's sort of a canard - it doesn't address the actual issue.

Sudden or unexplained weight gain and bloating may be a sign of ovarian cancer. 

well, that's the one cancer i'm sure i don't have.

again, though - the weight gain is an unusual symptom with somebody with anemia-like blood test results.  it seems to rule out a spleen problem. and, it's just weird in general.

my doctor has already expressed a lot of confusion at the results. for example, i have large rbcs. but, i have low iron and sufficient b12. large rbcs are usually caused by low b12, and low iron usually causes small rbcs. 

none of the obvious things really seem to add up.

whatever it is, in the end, is going to be obscure - that much, i'm sure of.

if i were to guess, it's this - the iron pills aren't working, my stores have depleted and my thyroid is malfunctioning. so, my metabolism is decreasing and i'm gaining weight.

we'll see what the doctor says.

i obviously don't want to hang out at the blood testing lab, and they won't want me there. but, i can predict what's going to happen - i'm going to pass out when they take a sample. that is, at this point, becoming obvious.

so, do i go back to the er? again - let's see if the coffee works or not.

and, this dull pain in my left shoulder won't go away....but i'm gaining weight, which means my breast size is increasing, and it might have more to do with that.

i mean, i eat almost no meat.

that right there rules out most forms of intestinal cancers, which are pretty unambiguously directly caused by meat consumption.

so, the only way i can prove that the iron isn't working is to take a blood test.

but, if i'm right, and it isn't, i'm going to need injections.

ugh.

why can't i just take a hepcidin test?

today's post is the first mp3 archive.

===========

purchasing this release does not come with a download. 

inri000: originally released dec 25, 1996. remastered oct 30, 2013. finalized june 26, 2016. 

inri001: originally released jun 1, 1997. remastered nov 8, 2013. finalized july 3, 2016. 

inri002: originally written and recorded over 1996-1997. sequenced and mildly modified in dec, 2013. released dec 11, 2013. finalized on july 3, 2016. lp000. 

inri003: created in mid 1997. sequenced and converted to stereo in november, 2013. released on nov 9, 2013. corrected in september, 2014. finalized on july 5, 2016. 

inri004: originally written in 1997 and first created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. finally reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and extrapolated upon over the first half of 2016. released on july 4, 2016. finalized on july 5, 2016. 

inri005: initially written in 1997. recreated in jan, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 1, 2015. deconstructed dec 18, 2015. released on jan 4, 2016. finalized on july 6, 2016. lead track added and refinalized july 20, 2016. 

inri006: originally created in 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed in the summer of 2015 and then manipulated further in the summer of 2016. released & finalized on july 7, 2016. hidden track added and re-finalized on july 18, 2016. 

inri007: initially written in 1997. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 5, 2015. remixed july 12, 2015. electronics added on july 16, 2015. released on jan 4, 2016. sequenced on jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 10, 2016. hidden track added and refinalized on july 21, 2016. 

inri008: initially written in 1996. recreated in feb, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. released on jan 4, 2016. finalized on july 11, 2016. bonus tracks added and re-finalized on july 18, 2016. 

inri009: initially written in 1994. first full recording in 1996. recreated in mar, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed & remixed on july 18, 2015. released jan 7, 2016. sequenced jan 6-8, 2016. finalized on july 20, 2016. 

inri010: initially written in 1996. recreated in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 12, 2015. vocals added july 15, 2015. sequenced, released and finalized on july 22, 2016. 

inri011: originally created in april, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed july 4, 2015. remixed july 15, 2015. vocals added jan 6, 2016. released on jan 6, 2016. finalized on july 23, 2016. 

inri012: initially written in 1996. recreated in the spring of 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed june 29, 2015. corrected to control for malfunctioning electronics on nov 26, 2015. sequenced on jan 10, 2016. released & finalized on july 24, 2016. 

inri013: written and demoed from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. sequenced on jan 6-7, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released jan 7, 2016. finalized on july 29, 2016. symph001. 

inri014: initially written in 1996. recreated mostly in feb, 1998 (schizoid, terrorists) but also partly in june, 1998 (abusive). sequenced in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. "terrorists" was reclaimed june 28-29, 2015 & remixed july 15, 2015. the main mix was corrected on nov 19, 2015. "schizoid" was reclaimed on july 12, 2015 & reprogrammed on dec 31, 2015. the main mix was corrected on jan 3, 2016 and remixed repeatedly jan 3-5, 2016. the lead track was sequenced on jan 5, 2016 and split back apart on jan 8, 2016. released on jan 5, 2016. audio permanently closed on aug 1, 2016. release finalized on oct 9, 2016. 

inri015: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1994-1998. initially constructed in this form in june, 1998. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced jan 6-10, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. re-released jan 10, 2016. audio permanently closed on aug 10, 2016. finalized on oct 10, 2016. lp001. 

inri016: created in the summer of 1998. released as a standalone ep on nov 16, 2013. audio permanently closed on oct 12, 2016. release finalized on oct 27, 2016. 

inri017: initially written over the course of 1997. recreated and expanded over the course of 1998. lead track first sequenced in this form in feb, 1999. further remixes generated over the course of 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013, and another in late 2015. remastered in november, 2016 from various sources, 1997-2015. finalized & released on nov 17, 2016. 

inri018: initially written in 1997. recreated and reconceptualized in late 1998. salvaged somewhat at the end of 1999. remastered in 2013. compiled & released on nov 13, 2016. finalized on nov 19, 2016. final album version added as a bonus track and refinalized on dec 15, 2016. 

inri019: written and demoed from 1996-1999. initially constructed in this form in january, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. compiled on nov 13, 2016. sequenced on nov 22-24, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. released on nov 24, 2016. release finalized on nov 27, 2016. symph002.. 

inri020: initially written in 1993. first full recording in 1996. recreated in dec, 1997 and again in jan, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reclaimed on july 2, 2015. remixed on july 15, 2015. reconceptualized & remixed repeatedly over november & december, 2016. released & finalized on dec 13, 2016. 

inri021: written and demoed in multiple stages from 1993-1999. initially constructed in this form in feb, 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. reconstructed and resequenced over november and december, 2016 from parts that were rebuilt over 2013-2016. finalized & re-released on dec 15, 2016. lp002. 

inri022: recorded over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. released dec 27, 2013. corrected to normalize for stereo in september, 2014. expanded incrementally between dec, 2014 and dec, 2016. merged with inricycled b and then finalized and re-released on december 16, 2016. 

inri023: constructed over 1998. compiled and remastered in late 2013. released dec 27, 2013. the first two tracks were corrected to stereo in sept, 2014. the last two tracks were added for re-release as a remix lp in dec, 2016. re-released & finalized as lp003 on dec 17, 2016. 

inri024: initially written and recorded between 1996-1999 and remixed over the summer of 2015, with a lengthy pause due to malfunctioning electronics. final compilation date is jan 3, 2016. finalized dec 17, 2016. lp004. 

inri025: this idea was developed in parallel to the inriclaimed project over the summer of 2015 and first compiled on nov 27, 2016. released & finalized on dec 17, 2016. lp005. 

inri026: initially written in the fall of 1997. recorded in the winter of 1999. remixed in late 2013 and again in early 2014. this track was separated from my second record in january, 2016 but the single was not completed until it was remixed one last time in sept, 2017. released & finalized on sept 10, 2017. 

inri027: streamed to disk in one take on the afternoon of march 9, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. 

inri028: constructed over a few days in april, 1999. ripped back to wav format from cd-r in late 2013. released as a one track single on nov 21, 2013. release finalized on sept 12, 2017. 

inri029: recorded over 1997-1999. constructed in this form in june, 1999. published on november 30, 2013. re-released (with new hidden track) and finalized as symph003 on sept 13, 2017. 

inri030: initially created in sept, 1997. remixed and reimagined repeatedly over 1998 and 1999. a failed rescue was attempted in 2013. partially reclaimed dec 8, 2014. rebuilt and resequenced on jan 9, 2016 out of material that had been remastered over 2013-2016. reimagined again on oct 26, 2016 out of material that was created in jan, 2016, but not released (and finalized) until sept 13, 2017, in order to properly fit into sequence. 

inri031: recorded over the spring and summer of 1999. originally released on inrimake in october, 1999 (with an accidental phase reverse). the first section was modified further at the end of 1999. minimally altered and split into it's own ep on january 3rd, 2014. spliced further, appended to and remastered over sept, 2017. re-released and finalized on sept 28, 2017. 

inri032: recorded sporadically, and without cohesive intent, over '98 and '99. originally compiled in the fall of '99. augmented and minimally altered in january, 2014. released on jan 3, 2014. finalized as lp006 on sept 21, 2017. as always, please use headphones - but note that they are especially mandatory for this recording. 

originally created from 1996-1999. this compilation is dated to nov 1, 1999. slowly remastered, reconstituted, compiled, reconstructed, released and finalized from 2013-2017. compilation finalized on sept 28, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

released november 1, 1999 

j - guitars, effects, bass, bass synth, keyboards, synthesizers, piano, orchestral & other sequencing, drum programming, drum kit, percussion, pick scrapes, metronomes, vocals, vocal relics, mic noises, tapes, found sounds, paper, sampling, vocoders, octavers, cool edit wave synthesis, windows 95 sound recorder, noise generators, noise reduction, soundraider, hammerhead, sound design, strategies, light-wave synthesis, digital wave editing, digital effects processing, loops, text-to-speech synthesis, remixes, reconstructions, reinterpretations, chance, a broken tape deck, production. 

the various rendered electronic orchestras include piano, organ, electric guitar, orchestra hit, pizzicato strings, synth pads, violin, viola, cello, contrabass, electric bass, sitar, tubular bells, tinkle bells, synthesizer effects and flute.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/mp3-dvd-disc-volume-1

i was supposed to get to my appointment yesterday morning, but i had to cancel due to anxiety about going out. i just couldn't force myself to leave the house yesterday.

instead, i fell asleep for the afternoon. i was up briefly in the evening to eat some fruit, but i've been asleep almost non-stop since yesterday around noon. can i wake up now?

fwiw, the weight gain is stabilizing a little, but the fact that i'm gaining weight since i went on the iron supplements (whatever the reasoning.) strongly suggests that i don't have any sort of stomach cancer, or probably any sort of cancer at all. weight gain and cancer don't go well together.

rather, it seems like my metabolism just crashed. which is making me wonder more about my thyroid. the levels were tested recently, but that was before my stores hypothetically depleted (we'll see what the next test says). so, it might just be consistent with the idea that the pills just aren't working.

i don't know, really. i know i'm going to try to wake up and get back to what i was doing.

and, what to say about the blithering hypocrisy of somebody like joe biden, who is more responsible for these types of deaths than almost anybody else still alive and still working in washington?

not much.

not much at all.

what a surreal joke.

please don't get confused - please don't let them confuse you.

hate the police force and the politicians that enable them, don't hate derek chauvin for doing what he was trained to do.

so, we can lynch derek chauvin if you want, if it makes you feel better.

and, we can lynch the next one.

and the next one.

but, it's a stupid way to approach a complex issue that solves nothing and just entrenches divisions.

and, the bankers are laughing at you for it.

a systemic analysis and a reorganization of the police force, with a specific focus on training, would be far more useful than punishing the automaton for doing what he was taught.

and, what we're seeing in the reaction is a classic, textbook fail on the fake left - they blame a bad actor and seek retribution, rather than acknowledging that the problem is systemic and addressing root causes.

blood lust isn't healthy, especially in context because, as stupid as it was, it was clearly unintentional.

to be clear: he should have been convicted of involuntary manslaughter, yes. he killed a man due to his stupidity. but, the sentence should not be severe, and i would expect it won't be.

so, are you going to televise the execution of derek chauvin?

ok, so i got through the contents of the second drive and ultimately put it away for now as an extraneous backup. i have something like ten snapshots of a 300 gb drive scattered across a dozen different types of media, some local and some not. this is partly why i'm convinced i probably haven't lost anything - it would just be hard to delete everything. and, if i catch them...

i haven't effectively caught them yet, though - i don't have that smoking gun.

but, that means i need to put it all together, now.

the other thing i spent the night doing was a takeout snapshot, and i'll have to consolidate that, as well.

while i still have a few external drives to sort through, that means i've gotten most of what i wanted to pull down off the internet for archiving and have gone through a couple of the external drives. another day or two and i'll be focused strictly on local filing, and then i think it'll pick up a lot.

the russians don't want to fight us. really.

but, we don't give them a fucking choice. we really don't...

the chinese, on the other hand, no doubt already have an invasion plan written.

but, this is how empires always fall, isn't it?

ugh.

ukraine is clearly a failed state. it has no real national identity, and it's reason to exist is rather dubious. so long as it's sitting there, it's going to be a battleground.

if i was in russia, i'd be half tempted to manufacture a polish separatist movement on the other side of the country, just to split the thing in half. they'd be writing off some of the wealthier parts of the country, at least for now, but they'd be destabilizing the poles while they were at it, and that might be a net benefit in the long run.

this methodical cat-and-mouse type game they're playing is very russian - very careful, very chess-like. it's how they do it. it's the long game; they sit and wait for america to make mistakes, then react to them. and, we all know america is prone to making mistakes.

but, what happened in 2014 is evidence that there's a major flaw in this approach, namely that it's vulnerable to a sneak attack. if the americans wanted to, they could undo a decade worth of careful reconstruction in a week, like a bull in a china shop. and, all evidence suggests they very well might.

that said, the russians are expanding at the minute because they've calculated that they can - that biden is weak, or senile, or distracted or maybe even just flat out stupid. but, they're doing this because they think they can get away with it, which is dangerous - because they might be wrong.

there's going to be a hot war there sooner or later if things carry on as they are.

they're at least realizing that they have a chance to move, right now. and, i think they should cause some shit in poland and get some kind of normal boundaries back in order.

...because the idea that germany is going to get it's leibensraum as it expands into eastern europe in the 21st century is absurd. it's not sustainable. and, the sooner we re-establish a normal border between slavs and germans, the less likely it is that a major war develops.

and, it's just a reminder, as i'm compiling a list of minerals to check for, that they already checked me for everything, and it all came back fine.

- my sodium's fine, if a tad lowish (138 mmol/L). i don't eat a lot of processed food.

- i can absorb magnesium, and it's at the high end of normal (.93 mmol/L)

- the phosphates are at the high end of normal (1.42 mmol/L)

- chlorine is in the middle of the range (102 mmol/L)

- potassium is at the high end of normal (4.5 mmol/L)

- calcium is at the high end of normal (2.4 mmol/L)

so, i can clearly absorb everything else.

i should be getting 25-30 mg of iron a day, meaning i should at the least be able to absorb around 1 mg, which should be more than enough. but i'm not. why not?

what's left to check for is:

- good metals: zinc, chromium, molybdenum, copper, nickel, manganese

- selenium & iodine

- bad metals: mercury, arsenic, lead, aluminum, cadmium

i'm curious about zinc. if i come back zinc + iron deficient only, it might suggest too much calcium. 

i also need to check for vitamins a, b1, b2, b3, b5, b6, b7, c, e & k, as well as for choline & betaine.

i need to ask for a reticulocyte count. this, if i understand correctly, should rule out bleeding once and for all.

i need to ask about the shoulder/spleen thing, though. it's still sore.

and, i haven't brought the hepcidin thing up, yet, either.

see, i think this is what's wrong, but i don't know how to test for it...

https://news.harvard.edu/gazette/story/2008/04/a-genetic-cause-for-iron-deficiency/

today's post is the covers disc, inri032.

i can't sell this, but i don't want to pay to have it available, so it's up for $1. but, these are largely only covers or remixes in name, and i consider this an integral part of my lp sequence.

=========

something that happened in the late 90s, when fans of bands started getting together and talking on the internet, was the phenomena of the unauthorized remix. schemes were hatched all over the internet to create remix records, tribute discs, fan collaborations and whatnot. in hindsight, given what the internet turned into, it was actually a refreshingly productive use of networking. 

different artists have reacted in different ways. i got yelled at by the now deceased singer of god lives underwater for one of these. trent reznor, on the other hand, eventually went so far as to set up a competition (which i didn't take part in, as i'd moved beyond the idea by that point). 

once i'd put a few remixes/recreations together, and received more positive feedback doing it than with any of my own songs, i began to realize that if i could get somebody's attention then i could construct myself a launching pad. it seems like that's what a lot of people were thinking; it didn't work out, but i did end up with a number of remixes. 

unfortunately, i've lost a lot of them. about a third of them ended up on a cd-r i threw together at the end of 1999. a third just sat on my hard drive, and a third disappeared into the internet. i'm putting them all together here under the title of the 1999 release, 'inrimake'. the initial release ended after "the day inri messed the world up"; the last four songs are 'bonus tracks'. i've further split off the first two tracks to a standalone ep, liquify (inri32) (jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/liquify), partially because they never fit here properly and partially because it pares the augmented version down to under 80 minutes. 

now, i should point out that i was very much going for the *abstract* remix sound rather than the club-friendly mix. you can't really dance to these. you're not supposed to. you're supposed to blare them through headphones and trip out into them. 

in terms of my own work, this record very much extends a bridge from the inri period into the deny everything period, to the extent that it arguably realizes the goals of both phases better than either phase does. 

this record may be released physically, one day, should the proper legal issues be resolved. right now, i'm only making it available as an almost-free download. 

recorded sporadically, and without cohesive intent, over '98 and '99. originally compiled in the fall of '99. augmented and minimally altered in january, 2014. released on jan 3, 2014. finalized as lp006 on sept 21, 2017. as always, please use headphones - but note that they are especially mandatory for this recording. 

this release will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1998, 1999, 2013, 2014, 2017). 

released october 15, 1999 

j - guitars, effects, bass, synths, drum programming, digital wave editing, cool edit synthesis, sampling, sequencers, loops, text-to-speech synthesis, remixes, reconstructions, reinterpretations

so, am i getting vaccinated?

not now, no.

https://www1.racgp.org.au/newsgp/clinical/current-covid-vaccines-could-be-ineffective-by-nex

this is essentially a half-hour rant by michael hudson, but it's worth listening to.

my only comment is to remind people that the united states entered world war two to stop the russians from cleaning up, and not to stop the germans from taking over the world. it was a race to berlin.

...and, because he's not just an incompetent clown but also an arrogant one, he will insist he knew better than all of the scientists and all of the reports and all of the evidence, until the day that he dies.

or, at least, until the day he loses an election.

this is specifically what i was looking for:

While aggressive measures (e.g., widespread antiviral use and restriction of movement) to attempt to contain or slow an emerging pandemic in its earliest stages were previously considered possible on the basis of modeling, experience from the 2009 pandemic has resulted in general agreement that such attempts are impractical, if not impossible.

https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/flu-influenza/canadian-pandemic-influenza-preparedness-planning-guidance-health-sector/table-of-contents.html

but, trudeau was smarter than everybody else, ignored everybody and asked god for divine guidance, instead.

of course.

...because that's what you'd expect an incompetent clown that was elevated to power based on his father's achievements to do.

every time, too.

never fails.

it took me some time to find this, so i'm going to tag it with "white paper" and remind myself to search for "canada.ca".

april 3, 2020

if this was supposed to be the plan, it actually seems to me as though they only got through the first couple of pages of it, and kind of winged it from there.

in fact, most of the things i've been calling on them to do are explicitly mentioned in the guidance plan, it's just not being followed.

https://www.canada.ca/en/public-health/services/flu-influenza/canadian-pandemic-influenza-preparedness-planning-guidance-health-sector/table-of-contents.html

at 07:37  

i thought there were some posts where i quoted from it more thoroughly; either my memory is blurry around that, or somebody deleted them. and, i can only again call on whoever is doing that to stop, or face the censure of history for it, in the end.

"but, a travel ban is common sense."

you expect that kind of backwardsness from doug ford - and we certainly got it.

you expect better policy from the liberal party of canada, and what trudeau has done is fail the legacy of his forefathers and tarnish the reputation of his party.

fail.

he's a failure.

and, we all, collectively, failed in putting him in power.

he should have stepped down before this even started, and should have at least known to relinquish decision-making authority to somebody competent when it did.

the lesson to future politicians is clear enough, though.

never listen to evan solomon.

ever.

at all.

i pointed out roughly a year ago that the white papers that came out of sars - written not just by the canadian government, but the canadian government under a liberal leader - strongly urged against travel restrictions, because the economic effects associated with them would be disastrous, and the efficacy would be minimal to non-existent.

and, the white papers were right - surprise!

...and justin trudeau, taking advice from evan solomon through a filter of trumpist logic, was wrong. no surprise... 

it's the perfect example of the dunning-kruger effect, and the best example against aristocracy we've had plopped in front of us in decades.

in the end, we'll let history sort this out. for now, we'll need to wait until we have an election before we can get rid of these border restrictions, and the evidence in front of us isn't going to matter much.

can he cite any actual  peer-reviewed science in his verbal diarrhea, full of specious reasoning and empty aphorisms?

noooo.

listen: mr trudeau is the last person in the world that i would ask to defend a policy. he's just a bad actor. what he says is irrelevant.

but, in the end, the party is going to have a lot to answer for in pushing through these disastrous policies that are not only not supported by the basic science, but are actually explicitly contradicted by it.

so, you have a choice in who you want to believe here,

- decades of peer-reviewed science

- or justin trudeau's personal hunch, apparently as incredibly influenced by trumpism, on a politically populist level

you can pick your epistemology, here.

but, don't be surprised if i insult your intelligence if you pick the wrong choice.

as mentioned, i don't expect the border to re-open until after the next election, whenever it is. the party has painted itself into a corner, politically, it has nothing to do with the science (which very unambiguously argues against the efficacy of border closures, and even argues they're counter-productive), and nothing to do with whether it's been effective or not (and it clearly hasn't been - we're going to be the last country in the developed world out of this, and may get beat by the likes of india and mexico).

https://www.cp24.com/news/trudeau-defends-canada-s-travel-restrictions-as-effective-but-open-to-doing-more-1.5395376

yeah.

and, this could get messy, as they may react by cutting up the school boards, if they lose.

and, there's another angle, as well - the english schools in quebec are mostly very upper class. it's really the only reason they exist at all - it's a powerful, wealthy minority. do they want the influx of muslims and sikhs?

https://montrealgazette.com/news/quebec/quebec-will-appeal-bill-21-court-ruling-exempting-school-boards

and, again - do you think that's a conservative argument?

i don't.

i'm not somebody that's going to mince words or present weaselly arguments to you, i'm blunt about it - i don't think "religious freedom" is a thing and i don't think it should exist in the constitution at all and i'm explicitly on the side of removing it and i hope we get there, in time.

but, i actually honestly cannot support the idea that belief is a legally relevant concept.

the fact that you believe something should have no legal relevance, whatsoever - what's important is whether what you believe is objectively true or not. the court should have no reservations at all in telling you that what you believe is false and irrelevant.

nor should one's beliefs have any relevance at all in whether they are exempt from any laws.

if i could undo that part of the constitution, i'd delete it completely in a second. it was a mistake. but, until we get there, i can only support weakening it as much as possible.

i actually kind of miss the discreteness of people going out to a field, or in a back alleyway to smoke. the stigma around it was kind of a good thing, as it meant that people made sure they were smoking somewhere that didn't bother the people around them.

overt drug abuse isn't a good thing, and we'd do ourselves a favour to resurrect a concept of discretion around use.

it shouldn't be socially acceptable to just light up a blunt wherever you want - you should be expected to get away from the world a little, if you want to do it.

listen, if you want to smoke drugs then smoke drugs, just don't smoke them in my apartment, please. i'll smoke them sometimes, too - away from where i live.

but, a day to celebrate marijuana is pretty stupid.

and, the way people act on 4/20 fits the technical definition of retarded pretty much perfectly.

i have no qualms in dubbing this retard day, at all - even if i'm known to smoke a little on this day, away from the retards, from time to time, myself. 

not this year - there's no concerts, and i want to be doing something more productive, right now. so, go smoke over there, please.

(points away from where i'm breathing)

i tried to nap but it's like inhabitably dry over near my bed, right now. i don't know if it's just because the heater is on full blast in the cold snap (which i like) or if it's because he set up some kind of contraption to suck the life out of the air, but it's too dry to sleep in there, right now. so, i'm dragging myself.

and, when it's dry, it's dusty, which triggers my asthma. i've had three attacks in the last 48 hours.

it's also retard day today, although it's not really bad right now - it was this morning, but it was more tobacco than pot.

but, i've decided that if i'm missing anything over june then i'll have to find some other way to rebuild it. 

in the long run, it's more important that i'm able to write into the word document in a linearly coherent manner, and i'm wondering if that's not the better way to do it.

for now, i want to move on.

now, that said, this ruling has the potential to backfire because it's going to push religious minorities into the english school boards. so, you'll end up with english speaking religious groups rather than french-speaking religious groups, which is a potential nightmare for the people supporting the policy. for that reason, you should expect the quebec government to appeal it, on the grounds of sovereignty that i previously articulated. 

your religious beliefs are just your political views, nothing more and nothing less.

i'm sorry, i thought this was at the supreme court - it's still in quebec superior court. so, much of what i said is sort of reversed, in context.

the ruling makes sense. and, i agree that this dress code should be specific to public sector employees when they are at work, and not apply to day-to-day life.

i'm sorry, but i reject the entire premise that religious freedom should be protected by the law at all. this is a dress code, a church is a political organization and this woo about religious belief should be struck from the law altogether. do you think that's a conservative argument? because i don't.... 

but, i actually think that the supreme court will be more likely to overturn the exemption for english boards than overturn the entire law - that's a quebec thing that doesn't apply in broader generality. you can ask the quebec courts to rule on the quebec charter and deduce that english schools should have minority rights, but when you ask the supreme court to rule on the canadian charter, the issue becomes 100% about quebec sovereignty.

like i say - i think the issue is about political symbols in the workplace because i reject the idea that religion is different than politics. that's why i support the ban. but, that's not going to be heard in court. and, while i got the court wrong in my initial analysis, this ruling was predictable, nonetheless - and is likely to be upheld on appeal.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/bill-21-religious-symbols-ban-quebec-court-ruling-1.5993431

see, i can understand how google might get confused with this device, but that device said it's been logged in since january.

wouldn't google have logged the device out by now if it was a ghost?

but, i can't do anything about this, and i know it.

like, it might be that this poor guy has to deal with chain-smoking cops in his house because i'm down here.

but, i think he's probably a cop, too - but doesn't smoke, himself, just merely has to tolerate it from the other one.

and, i'll say this again - can you please get a cop that doesn't smoke up there?

there seems to be at least two people up there. one is a woman that smokes heavily (and i truly hate to the core of her being) and is 100% a cop and the other is the guy i rented from who i don't think smokes and i'm not completely sure is a cop.

i only ever see and communicate with the guy and i'm not supposed to know the woman is there - but i can both hear her and smell her.

they seem to do shift work, so that there's somebody awake up there 24/7.

so, i mean, it's been months. what have they been doing?

just listening? reading? editing posts? deleting comments?

are they logging into my email and scrubbing it?

i don't even know.

i mean, i have no idea what they're actually looking for, i'm just deducing they think i'm some kind of a spy.

it could be even dumber than that.

i should probably change my password, but they're just going to create problems again until they steal it again. or, maybe google is actually letting them in, anyways. i don't think that's helpful.

there's nobody to call to report it to - it's the fucking cops doing it. if i asked them to investigate, they'd just cover it up.

but, this is what your tax dollars are spent on - overwhelming surveillance of a transgendered artist on disability, that is severely interfering with my productivity. and, they'll have history to answer to, in the end. 

let this be an expose of the damaging aspects of the security state, by proxy.

again - what does a person do when they come face-to-face with these things?

it's just absurd.

logic doesn't help.

yeah, i just removed a secondary login from a chrome os device from the google security page that was dated to january 12, 2020. this device had the same ip address as me, uses the same isp as me and has the same os i do.  that means one of two things:

a) i orphaned a login from that time. but, i only have one device running chrome os down here. why didn't google identify that device with this one?

b) the cop upstairs is logging into my account from a spliced line, which i already know exists by monitoring my isp traffic.

it seems like the latter is the truth.

and, like i say - the idiots actually, honestly, seriously think i'm a russian spy, to the point that they're physically hacking my account from upstairs.

so, what do i do next, then?

i mean, if they aren't just removing posts but are actually going into my email and deleting copies of those posts, what can i do about this?

what i'm going to do is plead with the people responsible to fuck off. i have no power, here. i can ask google to be just, and that's about it; i can ask the enforcement agencies to reconsider if what they're doing is reasonable. if what i'm posting here is substantive enough to justify this kind of heavy-handed manipulation, it's surely of historical value. and, there must be a way to rebuild it.

i've made this request before - please put the deleted emails back where they were, and please rebuild the posts that were removed.

and, take this statement as a warning: you will be condemned by history, if you don't.

that's right - or you will suffer the fate of yourself. but, i realize the absurdity. i understand that all i can do is yell.

so, i sat down yesterday morning and tried to figure out when i first put this hard drive away, and then wondered if i could rebuild the logic around it and then realized that i didn't seem to have a record of posts after june 19, 2020 up until the end of july, 2020 for some reason. no archive. at all. 

that said, i have some posts dated to late july that correctly count the number of posts in july. i also have a backup archive in my email dated to nov 11, 2020.

now, that date is important to take note of because it was the day that my youtube account was temporarily suspended. so, i backed up my blog as a precautionary step.

i've spent the last 24 hours cross-referencing that backup with the posts and with my email and, once again, i can't find any missing posts. but, the backup was taken after my site was suspended.

it's just very, very weird to me that i don't have any record of anything between june 19, 2020 and july 29, 2020, even if i'm pretty sure that nothing is missing for july (and i have it backed up to november, 2020, now). i was definitely backing up posts over may and over the first part of june. i seem to have stopped for an unclear reason, when i got back from my bike ride to leamington.

oddly, posts are uncharacteristically low over the last part of june, as well.

that was also the week i bought a quarter, which is a naturalistic explanation - i was posting less because i was stoned. but, that doesn't seem quite right, either. and, surely i would have tried to catch up, right?

so, if they were going to delete posts, what would they delete posts about? my reaction to the pandemic? posts that could be misconstrued as being pro-trump (i was never such a thing...)? conspiracy theories?

no - none of that seems to be missing.

it took me some time to figure it out, but it seems to be a post i made to the fox news site suggesting that the russiagate scandal was a cia plot that got my account temporarily suspended. and, if anything is missing near the end of june, 2020 and the start of july, 2020 it would appear to be posts about the we scandal, where i suggested that it was obvious that the whole thing was obviously a money laundering scam.

here's the daunting thing about this: it's not just posts that might be missing, it's email archives of those posts. the email archives exist to document the posts. that's the point. so, when i go into my email and notice that there's no archives at all for over a month...

it helps me answer the question: who is harassing me? who's responsible for all of this cyber-harassment i'm dealing with?

it might be the pmo, or some canadian enforcement agency acting under the guidance of it. the americans wouldn't care about that.

sorry, to clarify - she was put on the bench by mulroney in 1989 and elevated to chief justice by jean chretien in 2000.

this ruling might very well baffle and shock people.

i've posted this a few times, but i'll post it again because it's relevant.

when trudeau won in 2015, one of the things everybody was hoping for was that the liberals would shift the court further to the left. the existing chief justice, beverly mclachlan, had of course been appointed by the last progressive conservative prime minister, and had evolved into an unexpectedly left-libertarian chief justice. i'm a big fan, actually. but, we kind of fluked out - she was appointed by the right.

shortly after he won, she had to retire. she was 75. it's the law. so, the liberals had their chance. great, right?

now, if you think merrick garland was bad, get a load of this...

you'd have to ask him what he was thinking, but, in some kind of fit of post-partisanship or something, he actually asked a former member of the social credit party (kim campbell) to pick the next chief justice. this wasn't a red tory, or a moderate conservative - this was a woman from the furthest right reaches of the conservative spectrum. see, but she was a woman. and, in trudeau's silly post-ideological fantasy world, her gender was more important than her politics.

and, she predictably picked the most conservative judge in the list.

so, now we do have a right-wing court - because trudeau asked the conservatives to pick the justice for him. and, this might be the first ruling that makes him look decidedly stupid, for doing it.

there's a lot of complicated components of this case, and i do support the law and hope it is upheld. when everything gets whittled down, it's probably going to come up to an oakes test - it's probably going to be ruled unconstitutional, but then the court will need to determine if it's a reasonable restriction of rights in a free and democratic society, which i would argue it is. 

unfortunately, our constitution also has a veto in it and, while i support the law, i don't like that quebec wants to use the veto for this purpose. to me, that's the more substantive issue here, the trivialization of the notwithstanding clause.

my take on this is that hijabs should actually be banned under the public service employment act, and this extra layer of law is superfluous (at least insofar as it applies to federal workers). but, the right precedents to cite are the precedents related to the "political activities" section of the public service employment act. the crux of my argument is that overt displays of religion are a form of political propaganda, rather than some kind of intrinsic belief, or something. and, that's just secularism taken to a post-modernist next level: i don't even accept that religion is a valid idea. your church is just a political group, and should legally be treated the same way that we treat a political party. no woo about religion in law, please - let's be strictly rational about this and interpret a church or a mosque as what it is....and membership in a religion as what it is, too.

i think that this argument would be successful, in court.

but, the government of quebec does not appear to have taken up my arguments on this point, so i don't expect the ruling to have anything to do with it. they're insistent on arguing for the concept of sovereignty, instead, and i suspect that they'll get it - but i don't like how they're doing it.

of course, quebec has a charter as well, and these arguments would not be effective at a lower court. those who oppose the ban may have made a tactical error in going to the supreme court and letting quebec cry "anglo domination!" rather than a local court, where their issues could be more directly considered. too late now...

so, that's what i'd expect - yes, it's unconstitutional, but they used the veto, and tough titties. the subtlety in the ruling will likely lie in whether they do an oakes test or not, and what it looks like, and i'm going to hold off on that because we have a relatively new justice. i would not expect mclachlan to save the law via an oakes test, or at least not via the arguments the government is using (and, to be clear - the government doesn't care about this, it's just pushing the point about autonomy). this new guy is decidedly less libertarian, and he might deliver a ruling that seems a little uncanadian to most people that grew up with mclachlan leading the way.

and, that's something we're going to have to get our head around - trudeau shifted the court dramatically to the right, and doesn't seem to fully understand it. he may be more upset by the ruling than anybody, tomorrow.

so, i expect the law to stand via the veto, and i suspect it'll stand via the oakes test as well, but i'm less confident about the second point.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/montreal/bill-21-religious-symbols-ban-quebec-court-ruling-1.5993431

today's post is inri031, and i really wish i could remix this from scratch to take the vocals out, but alas - here it is in a slightly better form than it once was.

=====

this track was initially a part of inrimake (inri032), but it never really made sense to put it there. that's a remix/cover album, and this is two forgotten experiments. it makes more sense to spin it off here. 

this track was meant to be a new beginning, but, instead, exists in a sort of purgatory. musically, it's radically different than anything else labeled 'inri'; thematically, it's a logical extension of inri. i really wanted this to be a fresh start, but in the end i had to leave it in the inri pile. in places it's sort of evil, in other places it's just a little too precious. 

my dad swapped houses in mid 99. again. this would be a frequent annoyance over the next few years. i can date this clearly to the summer of '99 as the first thing i did in my new basement. that change of surroundings contributed to the feeling of wanting to do something different... 

while it is an original track, it ended up on the covers disc for two reasons. first, the lead guitar loop that cycles through the track came out of a stoner jam session in the basement of a friend of mine. it's sort of hilarious to realize it took three years for another human being to get an influence here, even if it was a throwaway jam session. that was really just an excuse though. the real reason it was on inrimake (inri032), rather than on inridiculous (inri033), is that it fits in better with the prog theme of that disc than the noise theme of the other one.

the lyrics have been a problem since they were recorded. sex sells. shock sells. i had to psyche myself up to do it. it's all tied together, though. where was i going with this, anyways? 

'99 was the summer between grades 12 and 13 ("oac"). yes, ontario had a grade 13. get your laughs in. it was actually a pre-university year. universities would take the grades from the "oac" year as the entrance requirements. we didn't do SATs or anything. most universities have something like this for "mature students"; the weirdness is in making high school kids do the extra year. a few places (like quebec) still have similar types of pre-university screening... 

anyways, i'm going into the oac year and i haven't even really given the whole vocation thing a passing thought, other than to reject the idea of defining my life through the concept of labour. there were a few weeks in the summer where i had sort of decided not to go to oac at all. i was actually *excited* about escaping school, focusing on a minimum wage job and spending my free time smoking pot and writing music. i really didn't want anything more out of life than this. and, if i happened to get lucky and sell some records, even better. i was eventually talked down from this position through a process of bribery. that didn't magically construct vocational aspirations, though; i ended up overloading on oac credits for the simple reason that i didn't know what i wanted. 

(i ended up grudgingly accepting entrance into a software engineering program, literally switched to cosmological physics within a few weeks, switched to math after that, then bounced around from music to english to women's studies and ...) 

so, again, i'm stuck between grade 12 and 13 and really dreading what the future holds. finding a way to sell some music would be an escape from this. i concluded that, tactically, my best approach at the time would have been to focus on something sexually explicit that gains it's power from it's shock value. there's a bit of desperation underlying this. 

so i wrote a sort of graphic depiction of sexual domination within a male homosexual context. see, the thing is that it isn't very convincing. it isn't very convincing because it's contrived for profit. i'm being bluntly honest about the logic that produced this track because seeing myself in the mirror like this actually had a large effect on me. once i realized what i'd created, i was completely disgusted with myself. in it's initial form, liquify was the first 3:36 of this track. it sat on my hard drive for several weeks, waiting for me to finish questioning myself - who i was, what i was doing, whether it was worth it. 

i came to two conclusions. 

the first was that contrived music sucks. i realized i wasn't going to get anywhere faking it, anyways. if i wanted to build an audience, the only serious approach i had was honesty. 

the second was that, even if it works, being fake isn't worth it. i was rejecting the beaten path because i didn't feel i belonged on it. accepting some kind of Official Alternative Beaten Path wasn't solving anything. 

so, i should just do what i want, and tell anybody that doesn't like it to fuck off. 

the second part of this track flowed from that epiphany. it's a pure prog workout, discernible from 1972 solely in it's updated use of technology. probably for the first time, the notes really mean something to me, here. if you listen, you can tell. 

the ending scene of the jim carrey masterpiece, the truman show, fades the track out. it's meant to document the importance of the film in helping me work through what i was working through. as of january 2014, i've mildly modified the track to fade out the truman show ending, which was just a little too cheezy & precious. 

so, yeah. there's a few more inri tracks. but this is really the point where inri dies. 

-- 

the first five minutes were initially a different track, and are split off here for the final version to document it. i didn't initially commit to this pairing; i always intended to finish the first section as a separate track. it really wasn't until 2014 that i finally decided against it. 

the version that ended up on 'inrimake' was a slightly less finished mix than the version that i archived as mp3. i must have further altered the track between the time that i burned the inrimake disc (october, 1999) and the time that i saved the track to mp3 to archive (january, 2000). i didn't notice this when i edited the track in 2014. but, i've brought the newest version in for the final remix. 

-- 

when i ran through the discography in 2014, i stopped on this track for a few days and ultimately had to admit defeat around it. i wanted to turn the vocals down, but the mix was simply too saturated to do anything about it; everything i tried had a set of unintended consequences, and it just seemed prudent to not touch it. i was able to get around these concerns for my final mix, which is dated to sept, 2017. i've also split the instrumental section off and given it the title that i used for early versions of inricycled. 

recorded over the spring and summer of 1999. originally released on inrimake in october, 1999 (with an accidental phase reverse). the first section was modified further at the end of 1999. minimally altered and split into it's own ep on january 3rd, 2014. spliced further, appended to and remastered over sept, 2017. re-released and finalized on sept 28, 2017. as always, please use headphones. 

the lead version is now on the outtakes compilation, inrimoved (inri042): jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/inrimoved 

this release also includes a printable jewel case insert and will also eventually include a comprehensive package of journal entries from all phases of production (1999, 2013, 2014, 2017). 

released august 1, 1999 

j - guitar, effects, bass, synths, piano, loops, drum programming, vocals, samples, cool edit synthesis, sequencing, digital wave editing, digital effects processing, production

i would rather call on the conservative party to get it's house in order.

whatever that means.

while i'd like to get rid of doug ford as well, now is not the time for political bickering.

schreiner's the one with his head on straight, here.

https://globalnews.ca/news/7769145/ontario-premier-doug-ford-covid-resign/

it's about time that the left started opposing some of these measures, and this might be the only place in the world where we have the left being the left and the right being the right. at least we haven't entirely succumbed to the backwardsness and orwellian redefinitions.

yet.

and, i actually think this is important, because you're otherwise going to have a loaded spectrum, where people that oppose these restrictions have nowhere to turn but the far right.

so, we figured it out, like i asked you to however long ago.

good.

that said, it's a baby step - they're still supporting specious travel restrictions, for example. but, let's not lose this toehold on the correct side of the spectrum - let's get this right.

https://globalnews.ca/news/7765156/ontario-covid-19-restrictions-ford-david-fisman/

i will read it.

just not yet.

i'm not into reading a 780 page budget right now. sorry.

if i had stopped and talked to them, i might have very well been told i was lying and then attacked and framed, anyways.

it's why i had to react.

this is just an illustration of why i chose not to stop as i was being chased down the street by some hooligans that worked for the local freshco, and why i'm filing a human rights case against them.

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatoon/woman-who-shot-freshco-arrest-video-says-incident-was-important-to-record-1.5992532

you're talking like there isn't a thousand years of jurisprudence to help figure out how to respond to scenarios where speech may be harmful. and, this is the problem - you asked a media critic to discuss a legal issue. and, we're asking corporations to play the role of the judicial system. because property - as always.

fwiw, the laws in canada are not very different than the judicial precedents in the united states. it's not precise, but it's not a bad approximation. there have been some embarrassing decisions, but that is true in the united states, as well. hate speech is broadly free speech in canada, so long as nobody is in imminent harm. we also have more or less the same constitutional protections. that said, i would personally like to see the laws liberalized substantially as they provide for the possibility of abuse of power.

in order to be prosecuted for hate speech in canada, the crown needs to show:

1) that the communication was public. so, private communication isn't covered.

2) that the communication is likely to lead to a "breach of the peace". which is a generalized concept of harm.

in order for somebody to get prosecuted under that law in canada for posting things to social media, they'd have to be a public leader of some sort. a facebook or twitter post is arguably even private communication, and if you can convince a judge that it's public communication, you'd have to convince them that the person has enough influence to actually generate a crowd.

about the only person in the country that is going to care much about somebody running their mouth off on social media is the prime minister.

shit.

https://www.politico.com/news/2021/04/17/joe-biden-golf-482664

you know, if i didn't know any better, i might think that biden's actions suggest he wants to run again in 2024. and, that's probably a good thing, even if he dies before then.

see, the idea of a one-term presidency - a lame duck presidency - is that it can go either way. you can either get a guy that is going to do what he always wanted to do, and fuck it because he's not facing reelecion, anyways. or you can get a guy that doesn't give a fuck because he's done anyways, and see you later guys...

but, biden seems concerned about re-election.

oddly.

which maybe brings up the actual point: he doesn't have a list of things he always wanted to do, because all he ever wanted to do was get elected.

i don't suspect this lasts long - he's going to figure it out one way or another, or somebody is going to figure it out for him. but, so long as he genuinely seems concerned about popular opinion, now's the time to get at him, somehow.

that window is likely minimal - i suspect he'll be golfing soon.

i need to get this point across, because it's not getting across.

i was born in 1981 - not 1991, not 2001. 1981. so, how old am i? who are some other people born in that year?

1) beyonce, and google images of her at the grammies to see that she's now an older lady

2) britney spears, who has looked older than her years for quite some time, now. i don't have wrinkles like that, thankfully.

3) paris hilton, who has aged relatively well, but is definitely not going to pass as a young person anymore

4) meghan markle, who has maybe aged better than all of them, but is definitely not going to be mistaken for a young person

5) natalie portman, who appears to be experiencing hair loss.

6) ivanka trump, who is actually the counter-example, here.

7) jessica alba

8) serena williams

these are women that are, without exception, entering or already in middle age - and that cannot pass as young people.

and, if you want to be silly and compare me to a dude, look up how old these guys look

1) justin timberlake

2) tom hiddleston. yes. i'm the same age as tom hiddleston.

3) casey neistat

4) devendra banhart

5) brandon flowers

and, you'll note i was born 13 days into 1981, so who was born in 1980?

- kim kardashian

- christina aguilera

- win butler

- tegan quin

- jessica simpson

- conor oberst

i'm trying to pick easily recognizable people. i'm not really a fan of any of these people. but, look at those people - or bring your existing preconceptions of them to your mind - and then look at me and put the proper references into place.

i wasn't born in the 90s. i was barely even born in the 80s.

so, congratulate me for looking young - thank you.

but, understand that i have the health requirements - and habits - of somebody that is a little older than i look, and not somebody that is literally half my age.