ESA
hey
going to Windsor on the bus at 7pm
mondayu
arriving in Windsor at 5:30 am on Tuesday
Jessica Amber Murray
alright. remind not to plan anything with you again. i'll probably hitch tomorrow, not sure i want to meet up.
ESA
TOMORROW?
we said Monday anyways
You didn't seem like you wanted me to tie you down anyways.
are you fucking kidding?
Jessica Amber Murray
well, i don't want to take the bus. you could have told me this last week. i would have left already. whatever.
ESA
wtf.
thanks for letting me know that. Didn't know you were waiting around for me. Jesus.
You didn't tell me your plan. Guess I'm not the one who is bad at planning.
I didn't know that you wanted to/ were comfortable going there yourself. Or maybe I thought it was a friend thing. I dunno. I'm hearing like a bajillion different things from different people and I can't keep track.
Whatever. I don't need to justify myself. If you don't want to meet up, and you're mad at me, then you can just add yourself to the list. I don't fucking care.
Jessica Amber Murray
it was absolutely a friend thing, but i told you i can't afford / don't want to pay for the bus. you buying a ticket means i'm hitching, because i can't/won't pay for it. i'm mildly irked for being planned around, but i'm more irked about you making plans with me and then at the last minute ditching me. and as mentioned i could be there right now and have already rented something by now.
ESA
ugh sorry. I'm all confused. Im super stressed about my landlord.
and also fucking shows all over the place
come over for wine later if you want. and don't be mad at me. i'm sorry
Also my mother basically made the plan for me. And she is confusing.
whatevah doesn't matter. that just sounds super sad and pathetic.
I played last night at the mercury lounge. and this morning from 9 to 12. I got like one hour of sleep and got home and read your message. So also sorry for being defensive.
Jessica Amber Murray
you're going to do what you want, and you have no responsibility to listen to me at all. i hope you enjoy your bus ride. but i do feel mildly betrayed, and i don't forget things. i'll have my laptop there. we can maybe meet up. but i think i'm exclusively interested in finding my own space right now. past actions imply future ones and whatnot.
ESA
Wow. You're the least forgiving person ever. and you don't care about my stress level/ or all the other stuff I've been trying to figure out. I am way busier than you, and very scatter brained. Good. Past actions imply future ones. I apologized. The decent thing is to try to work past it, and not write people off.
HA. That means our friendship is over.
Good on ya! I'm going to sleep.
I'm not saying our friendship is over, but if you think you can never forgive me, then it is.
I'm going to sleep. If you want to talk about it later, I'm available. If not, I don't know what to do.
Jessica Amber Murray
get some rest, erin. i'm just not excited about living arrangements with somebody that is willing to, and apologies for an untimely metaphor, but throw me under the bus on a whim. that doesn't mean we can't have a few drinks together if we're both in the same area.
i have rockstars for later, but i'm sleepy too and need a short nap. and very unshowered. text me when you get up?
ESA
you don't know me at all apparently.
You could work on being more clear.
You're assuming that I meant to ditch you. Like I had malicious intent.
I don't really want to live with insensitive people.
Trying to leave that shit in Ottawa.
Or at least people who use extremely intense metaphors describing a mistake I made.
When you clearly stated that you would even prefer to hitchhike alone, because you'd get there faster.
I told my mom I was hitch hiking, and she offered to lend me 84 dollars for a bus ticket.
goodnight
I can't express myself. This is all too upsetting.
Especially that you're even coming to Windsor in the first place. That's the most perturbing of all.
Jessica Amber Murray
i've only known you for a few months, it would be remarkable if i *did* know you at all. but, i don't really want to argue about this. you've decided to take the bus. that's your choice. that's fine.
ESA
ha.
I guess we have reached some sort of an impasse.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, you could still hitch with me instead of take the bus by yourself, but i don't want to coerce you into doing something you don't want to do, either.
ESA
illuminous is coming with me.
But you didn't even think about him. That was all on me to figure out.
Jessica Amber Murray
well, he's following you down there because he's in love with you, so it's your responsibility to figure that out.
that's fine, things will likely work out better that way.
ESA
Whatever I hope that's not true.
Jessica Amber Murray
you're right, he's going for the job opportunities. i don't even know if i'm going to like windsor. i may end up in waterloo or st. catharines.
ESA
did you get my last message?
You would have liked it a lot. I realized it didn't send.
I was like "Ok, you're maybe a bit right."
and also "lollll about the job opportunities"
And I will have a chit chat with Sir A.
Jessica Amber Murray
*runs around in circles bashing head on multiple walls*
ESA
LOL.
Oh god I'm laughing too hard now. ugh lack of sleep. I'm fucking high
Jessica Amber Murray
go to sleep!
ESA
I have to wait until my eyes are closing or else i'll get all spinny and paranoid