Jessica Amber Murray
i spent a while this afternoon thinking about happiness and what i could possibly tell a young lady that struggles with depression about it's nature. on the less profound side of the scale, our lady peace released a mostly terrible record in the late 90s called "happiness is not a fish that you can catch". the bad corporate emo that the record contains aside, it's sort of a powerful statement that contains a lot of truth within it. on the more profound side of the scale, there's a component of marxist theory that explores the idea of happiness being a sort of illusion. this is one of the reasons i'm not a marxist, fwiw. but it's sort of accepted that the lives of workers are always going to be miserable and that the solution is to deny workers of the vocabulary and conceptual machinery necessary to understand the difference between happiness and misery so that they can continue on in a role of necessary monotony without ever understanding that something better may exist. basically, if the dichotomy between misery and happiness is simply denied then nobody can ever be miserable! marx' butchered concept of dialectics in equally butchered action. scary shit, yes. but, i think it gets closer to the more correct point, which is that happiness doesn't have an objective quantity, and that it's as possible to find happiness in slavery as it is to find misery in freedom. maybe the point of emancipation is merely recognizing that the whole discussion is more or less trivial and the entire idea of happiness is just an imaginary bourgeois fantasy. i guess how the individual reacts from that point of understanding is something that belongs to it. of course, that's easier stated than accomplished.
ESA
Yes i agree. I dont want or need to be happy, because i dont think that exists, i just want a little space from Ottawa so I feel i can think straight without reoccuring and terrible things happening. Im sick of feeling panicky because i live in a city full of triggers. I might as well try to live somewhere else. Its my last option. I am quite content with my decision to move, and i have been wanting to do so for a while. At least five years...
I find it very difficult to respond via facebook on my phone.
I got accepted to u of windsor tho. :)
Jessica Amber Murray
congrats on the acceptance :)