ugh.

my doctor doesn't want to increase my dosage of cyproterone. so, i'm going to have to find a way to get around him.

i sent him this today, and we'll see what he tells me, but i'll order it from out of the country if he doesn't prescribe it, that's fine.

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hi.

i feel it's my responsibility as a patient to let you know that i began doubling my dosage of cyproterone yesterday, and will be continuing to take 200 mg a day until my next bloodwork. i have enough supply to last me until the end of june and will find some other way to secure a sufficient amount of t-blockers if you won't prescribe it.

i was also able to find enough brand name estrogen to take me until the end of june, and was consequently only on the generics for 24 hours. we'll have to see if i can secure a larger supply of the brand name after that.

i do not want my testosterone to continue to increase, or to continue suffering any of the side effects that seem to be associated with the creeping testosterone levels. i will let you know at our next appointment if the increased dosage of cyproterone has ameliorated any of the side effects i was associating with it, and we'll have to see if it takes it back towards 0, where it was before.

i do not want a male sex drive.
i do not want penile function, in any way at all.
i am not interested in sex, in any context.
i do not want to masturbate. at all.
i do not want muscle mass.
i do not want body hair.

i do not want testosterone. at all.