obviously, the truth is that trump is a robot clone. that's why you can shoot at him without killing him, and why his wife is mia.

mia? no, i never slept with mia. promise.

i mean, like there's some mystery about why melania's pissed off. he was convicted of soliciting (does the case use a different word?) a porn star when she was fucking pregnant. the only mystery is why she's still around at all.