i have a case conference on friday morning that was scheduled by a stupid court employee instead of doing her job and answering my questions. it will probably merely result in motions being scheduled, which is what i was trying to get done, and which this stupid conference has dramatically slowed down and screwed up. there are no grounds to quash, but it gives the landlords an opportunity to quash an appeal that i should win easily and which they don't deserve to have. this idiot woman should really be fired.

i moved to windsor because the rent was affordable. it's no longer the case. i'm left with the harsh reality that the units i can afford here are not worth renting.

for example, i could rent a room in a shared building for something like $900/month. but, why would anybody rent a room when they can stay at a shelter for free? it's the same thing, basically - you have to share a bathroom and a kitchen and you can't move anything into the house with you because your roomates could steal it. renting a room seems like a stupid waste of money when you can stay in a shelter instead for free.

can somebody explain to me what the difference between living in a rooming house and living in a homeless shelter is, besides the cost of rent?

this is a reflection of the parasitic nature of the rental market, as well. the reason the rents are so high is because there's too many middle class people trying to profit from renting out rooms to poor people at inflated prices. 

it makes no sense to participate in this system. i'm really better off putting my items in storage and sleeping in a hotel than i am renting a room and being forced to endure shared accommodations, given i'd have to put everything in storage, anyways.

i don't think i'd be unhappy living that way, per se. i mean, i don't want to waste my time going to work; that would get me absolutely nowhere, in finishing my art projects. i've recently been wasting weeks at a time washing my body off because these disgusting perverts won't stop drugging me. getting out of here under any circumstance at all seems necessary to get my life back in any context at all.

if i can get all of my items in storage except a couple of laptops and some devices, i can focus on building the offline archive out of a hotel room (and at tim horton's, or the library) and eat out of the food bank until they can find me a subsidized unit. it's a lot of effort to get into a stable housing situation, granted, but it's better than wasting my time going to work.

absurdly, if i do the math on this, i might be able to save up a down payment on a house by living in a hotel on odsp. if i can keep shelter costs down and eat out of the food bank, i could put aside around $400-500 a month by avoiding paying for rent by being homeless instead, which is pushing to $6000/year. i can maybe start accruing a little interest on that. if it takes more than five years to place me in a unit, i could have around $30K by the time it happens, which might be enough for a down payment on a 30 year mortgage that can reduce monthly fees to a "rent" i can afford, which would be substantively less than the current market.

i could also win a couple of court cases between now and then that could give me a boost to towards that goal.

the reality is that i have a lot of writing to do in order to complete my discography and that it doesn't really require having an apartment in order to finish. the spartan existence associated with living out of the library may actually help me focus.

i want to put something else out there: if i end up on the street, the straight edge lifestyle i've been living for the last few years will become permanent. i will not be touching any sort of intoxicants if i end up on the street: no alcohol, no marijuana, no cigarettes. i will drink a lot of coffee and do a lot of writing.

my odsp is stable and permanent (i will not face the stress of renewal. i'm permanent. for life.) and should easily cover the cost of long term storage. they will cover the cost of sleeping in a hotel every second or third day as well.

so long as i have a bicycle and a laptop and access to coffee money, i should be able to refocus on working on my art instead of wasting my time doing meaningless labour, which is what i haven't been able to do since this house was bought in early 2023. these people are forcing me to waste all of my time on legal battles and on washing the filth off of my body instead of being able to focus on my art. 

i want out. i want my life back; i want to be able to refocus on my art.

the situation i'm in is so shitty that i just want it to end and am starting to look forward to homelessness. i just want to get out of this hellhole and get away from these disgusting perverts.