so, i was out around 17:00, a little earlier maybe, and went straight to my bike. i had a few ounces of vodka left - maybe two shots. but it tasted awful, at that point. i needed mix. so, we put that away for a few minutes...

i didn't notice anything peculiar about my bike at this point; i just unlocked it and started riding north.

i had $17 and change left, out of $120 for the weekend (which is a lot more in cad).

$80 - $15 (sacri moniti) - $15 (beethoven) - $10 (3 beer @ deluxx fluxx) - $2 (1 beer @ pop off) = $38.

$38 + $40 =  $78.

$78 - $18 (smokes + drinks)  - $5 (trumbullplex) - $18 (6 beer @ marble) - $8 (smokes) - $10 (food) - $2 (coffee @ dso) = $17.

nothing was that expensive, it just added up after a long weekend. and, remember: getting to a machine in detroit is hard. i need to deal with what i have.

i didn't budget for that extra pack of smokes, and probably wouldn't have needed it if it wasn't for the fact that i destroyed the previous one. that gets me up to $25, which is more what i was planning for, going into the dso. so, i bought a coffee instead of a beer...

cover at the post-rock show was $10, leaving me $6 + change for mix and beer, and i should say a little bit about the other show that was happening.

the initial plan was not to go to this post-rock show, with bands i was unaware of, with the exception of this local act called torus, which i had missed a few times previously; rather, the initial plan was to see a legendary psych rock act called the legendary pink dots at el club. and, if i had made it through the night with something closer to $40 than $25, i might have done that.

it was really a cost thing, primarily, i'll acknowledge that. the cover at the lpd show was $25 usd, which is about as steep as i'll ever even think about paying. i usually have a hard time, mentally, with $15. i want cover to be less than $10, usually, unless it's something spectacular. then, there's the $8 beer at el club. you'll note the cost of beer elsewhere - it's $2-$3 everywhere else. even considering that the beer at el club is 1.5 beers, you're still looking at over $5, which is like twice as much. with $25 cover, you'd better show up with at least $35 if you want to actually enjoy the night. i just didn't have it on me...

and, might lpd have been spectacular? i'm sure they were in the 80s and 90s and even a good part of the 00s. i'm a little skeptical, nowadays - and i haven't heard anything from them since the last tear garden record. they would be in their late 60s at this point, and no doubt look a lot older; i remember thinking that ka-spel was in his 70s when he was only in his 40s. so, i might have missed an awesome show, but i suspect i was a little too young for it and would have walked out feeling ripped off by a show that was a little slow and prodding for me. that's gen x, for you - always stuck between, in the glut.

i would have loved to see this band in their prime, but i think i missed it and am ok with accepting it.

but, if you do want to check them out, this is as seminal and underground and important a band as you'll ever find: https://legendarypinkdots1.bandcamp.com/album/angel-in-the-detail

they were always mid-tempo, so when i use language like slow and prodding, it's just a question of whether the edge is still there - and maybe i'm wrong, maybe it is.

so, i found this post-rock show for $10 up in hamtramck instead, and it just made more sense, in context. with the $17 i had left after the symphony, there wasn't actually a choice involved, unless i wanted to spend $10 taking out another $20 (which is closer to $30 cdn), and i didn't.

i stopped at the gas station up woodward, first, to get some mix, and was able to find a tall bottle of faygo mt dew clone for $1.20. it said it had caffeine in it; how much, wasn't clear. it did the trick. so, i'm down to $16 + change.

still no issue with the bike, heading up woodward, up grand, up oakland, over clay, past the russell and into hamtramck via the back way, which took me out to the new dodge from the south. i drove by it the first time...

cycling around a few times, i was able to find a wood post to park at, behind the store next door. i didn't check to see what the store was, and didn't think it was important. bike seemed fine when i left it there with my bag, a little before 18:00....

the kids in torus - and these are kids. really. - were out back early, hanging out in their van. they took the tool comparison as a compliment, and claimed their new material sounded like hum, which seemed like shit-talking (and turned out to be). cost of beer at new dodge: $2 on tap. so, i've got three beers left and five bands to see, and i'm hoping this works out...

the first band up was called "rags and riches" and appears to have lost their guitarist somewhere between here and kentucky, instead coming up with two percussionists and a very poppy (like, new kids on the block or backstreet boys style poppy), hip-hop oriented lead singer. there were points were they had three drummers going; the intent was clearly to make the percussion the centre of the act. i'm not sure how compelling it was, but i'd never seen anything quite like it.

i've looked for sound samples, but i can't find anything without the guitarist so you'll need to seek this out on your own.

the second act up was man mountain, and they did a type of slower moving post-rock that's become kind of standard in the genre, since some midwest kids first heard mogwai. it's that very specifically american post-rock sound that my canadian ears thinks is a little too precious and sappy. it's worth checking out as an opening band, but it's exceedingly generic, too, so you shouldn't expect to be surprised or blow away by it.

https://manmountain.bandcamp.com/

au revoir continued on, and were a little heavier, leaning more towards a pelican or caspian sound. the kids outside were talking about caspian. the effects work is maybe leaning a little towards god is an astronaut, with the spacey sweeps, but i didn't catch a synth player.

again: i enjoyed watching this perched from a bar stool after a super long night, but i like the genre, and it is generic. it's good at what it does, but don't expect any surprises out of this.

shy, low then took it up another notch, while essentially carrying on with the same basic idea. again: you pretty much know exactly what you're getting out of this before it starts.

and, torus came on at the end, and played their one 35 minute song, start to finish:

https://torusdetroit.bandcamp.com/releases

so, the sets on this night were...they were what i expected, and both a pleasant and kind of chill way to end a crazy adventure and a reminder of why i tend to avoid seeing this style of music, live. it'd been a while, it was a nice reprieve. it'll probably be a while before the next time.

i first started feeling ill on this night at around 22:00 or so, between my second and third beers at this venue.

it was early when it was done - 23:30. so, i just had to take a nice slow bike ride back to the tunnel, for 00:30. or, so i thought..

i get around the corner to my bike and realize instantly that the tire has been mangled, but i'm not entirely certain, and am still not, what was going on with it. my sweater is still in my bag, as are my empty prescription bottles, my lipstick and a few other pieces of random trash. it seemed clear that the bag had been handled, but there was no apparent effort to take anything out of it. so, what is this, then? is this vandalism? are the cops bothering me (i think they have before.)?

i tried to ride the thing down the block, and couldn't - there wasn't enough air in the tube to keep the tire on the rim. what else can i do but walk home? without rummaging through my pockets, i'm thinking that i have something like $0.50 cents on me, tops. so, i'm expecting a long walk back to the tunnel, and a long night waiting for the bus. but, there's a gas station just past the russell, on clay, maybe i can talk them into letting me try to fill it up...

i finally rummage through my pockets when i get there. the cost of air is $0.75, and i do actually have it on me. score. and, the tube seemed to take it, so i'm hoping it's enough to get home on.

i get around the corner, past grand, and ask somebody for the time: it's not yet midnight. so, as long as the tires hold, i should make it.

it got a little scary moving up woodward past the fountains at the dia, because i could feel it starting to give. but, once i got to campius martius, i knew i'd catch the bus back. and, my stomach was starting to turn on me, too - i really wanted to get home.

customs was easy, although they seem to have been expecting me. i wonder sometimes just how closely the cops are paying attention to me, as they seem to grin at me in weird ways - not unlike my dad used to, when i came home at 4:15, shitfaced, from a friend's house.

did you have a good night?

you can only weakly nod. but, i was actually pretty sober at this point, what i was noticing more was that my stomach was starting to turn. 

i decide to walk my bike home. from here for the night, to ensure i'm avoiding further damage until i can get a look at it, and there's paramedics waiting around the corner. hrmmn. i'm ok, though - i just keep walking. the cops appear to follow me most of the way home, from this point. i actually think they followed me home on friday, too.

i guess they're checking to make sure i don't have any meetings with secret russian spies on the way, there. but, listen - they'd be screwed even if they caught us. we'd use the cone of silence. they wouldn't be able to hear a thing.

i dunno. whatever.

i stopped to get some nachos on the way home, but actually had to wait for my stomach to come down a bit before i could actually eat them. and, by monday night, i was convinced i'd caught strep throat and must have been dealing with the onset of it.

so, what kind of crazy weekend is this? psychedelic rock, kraut rock and noise punk on friday, followed by a grindcore show on saturday that led into a drum 'n' bass party, beethoven's 5th at the detroit symphony orchestra and a post-rock night to close it off. it's a festival weekend every weekend in detroit, if you know where to find it.

at this stage, this appears certain to be the last long weekend of the summer. so, i'm glad i made the best of it.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i will remind you that i also have a piece for two pianos.

https://jasonparent.bandcamp.com/album/the-symphony-of-psilocybin-induced-madness

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

listening to the conductor - who is not mark zuckerberg, but could easily be mistaken for him - introduce beethoven's fifth was a nice introduction, given the importance of the piece. we got a nice little historical overview, about the reign of terror; i perhaps didn't need it, but it was a nice perspective, nonetheless, combined with a little bit of information about the musical structure of the piece.

the dso has the talk up at their youtube site, so i'm going to post it here.

are they going to post the actual program? it seems like they're posting to youtube, which is something i'd like to maybe go back and check out. maybe i should wait a few days to see if they do.

the program was:

1) WEBER Overture to Oberon  

2) MOZART Concerto for Two Pianos and Orchestra in E-flat major, K. 316a [365]

smoke break

3) BACH Concerto No. 2 for Three Harpsichords and Orchestra in C major, BWV 1064

4) BEETHOVEN Symphony No. 5 in C minor, Op. 67

reviewing classical music is always kind of weird, 'cause, like, you're reading it off the sheets. i know, i know, there's the passion in the playing, i know, trust me, but the listener has to know the piece to get into that, and i'm only going to be to do that for the 5th.

broadly speaking, i like pretty much everything in the western art music tradition - medieval music, renaissance music, baroque music, romantic music, impressionism and minimalism - with the exception of classical and neo-classical music. in fact, that's one of the things i like about beethoven, the revolutionary overturn of the mathematical perfection of the classical period. so, when we start talking about weber (not webern, who i much prefer) and mozart and even bach, we're entering into what i actually think is the low point of the western art music tradition. yeah, i know. i'm sorry...

i can tolerate some early bach; i'm a guitarist, i kind of have to. so, he's in a different category than mozart and weber, to me, because he still has that foot in the renaissance. but, i found these particular opening pieces, none of which i was familiar with, to be kind of harmonically bland, which is my general reaction to music of that period. mozart's compositions are like doing engineering homework; beethoven's compositions are like proving new theorems from first principles.

hearing all the pianos smash against each other was kind of cool, but i otherwise found these works to be fairly forgettable.

what do you say about the actual 5th, though?

it was good.

right.

i mean, how many times have i heard this on cd? 200? 300? i've never seen it live before, though. they did it right. what else can i say?

i spent the symphony largely with my eyes closed, just zoning out into it, which isn't something i'm going to do for every piece, but is probably the right way to listen to this one.

somebody offered me a mint on my way out, which i probably needed. and, i was off to hamtramck to see the post-rock show....

we'll get back to this later.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i left the club at around 9:30 or so, drove by the sound guys (who were setting up at the art of armageddon, apparently), bought some smokes at the gas station, took another swig of that vodka (you don't think i drank all of it, do you? i can't drink 20 ounces of straight vodka, i'll pass out. there was about 5 ounces left.), parked behind the orchestra and stumbled down to the diner to get some eggs. as mentioned, i was there a little after 10:00 - i remember it being 10:14, exactly.

for reference, the symphony started at 15:00. so, i was going to hang out until 13:30-14:00 or something, then go down early, get a coffee and wait for the thing to start.

and, yes, i nodded off, i think for obvious reasons, now that you know the story. but, let's look at the facts here:

1) i intended to be in the diner for around 3-4 hours, on a sunday morning for brunch, from about 10:00-14:00, at the latest. 3-4 hours for brunch on sunday (from 10:00-14:00) might be the most normal thing in the history of normality - if there's something more normal than that, you'll have to be explicit about it, 'cause i can't imagine it.

2) so, i bought eggs and coffee a little after 10:00. let's say it was 10:30. so, let's say it got there about 10:45, which is about right for this place. i bought an extra side of french fries when i was done, probably around 11:30-ish. so, they would have got there about 11:45-ish. i got sleepy when i was eating my fries. i had not yet finished my coffee.

3) so, i must have dozed off - with my fries and coffee in front of me - from around 12:00-13:00.

4) i am in this establishment frequently, and have always bought things when i'm in it. i have, however, experienced some transphobia from the staff that i've largely shrugged off....

so, you can imagine that i was rather baffled when they sent the cook out - pilate-like. he's the messenger. he didn't care. - to tell me i "wasn't wanted here" and would have to leave before they "call the cops".

i'm not sure exactly what they would tell the officers, should they have come in, while i was finishing my fries and drinking my coffee. i'm not homeless. i wasn't asking people for food or money - and i hadn't finished my meal yet. they would essentially have to admit that they were throwing me out because of my gender expression, and i might point out that they're lucky i'm not an american citizen, because that's a lawsuit they'd have lost, if i was. i would have had to leave if it had come to that, surely, but i'd certainly want to get that report and publish it, as well as hand it off to the detroit business association, to let them deal with it.

it woke me up, at least. i ignored the cook, finished my fries, used the bathroom and came back to the front desk.

"can i talk to your manager?"

"what?"

"the cook just came out and told me you were going to call the police. i want to talk to the manager."

"you've been hear since 10:00."

"it's sunday brunch. i. demand. to. speak. to. your. manager."

"ok..."

a few minutes later, this 20-something arab guy comes out. you can put this together, right? he's not the owner here; i know the owner here. so, we've got some transphobic muslim day manager throwing the gays out of a restaurant he doesn't even own. not acceptable, at all. i rightfully gave him shit for overstepping his bounds...

"is that how you treat your customers?"

and i laced into him for a good ten minutes. i had food in front of me. and, yeah, i'm tired, but so what? when you come in and buy something in a restaurant, you get the booth until you're done. i'm not hanging out without buying anything. i'm not staying for a long time after i've finished, either. i'm literally in the middle of finishing a meal, and waiting for the symphony across the street to start.

and, i demanded a fucking apology.

he did give me one. see, and this is the point you actually want to see in this circumstance - you want this person to understand that they're in the wrong, even if it doesn't click immediately, and i think he clearly did realize that, i could see it in his facial expressions. he looked like he was worried he'd lose his job. he didn't lose his arrogance about it, and his apology was clearly coerced and bullshit, but he knew what he did was wrong.

you might expect me to call for a boycott of the detroit coney one on woodward avenue, after that. you might also expect me to stop going in there. i actually think that's the wrong approach, in context - i will continue coming here (and if they call the cops on me for being queer, we can take it the community and let them adjudicate such a thing - they won't win that debate), and i would even like to put out a call for queers throughout detroit to frequent the coney one more often. let's have big, queer parties there every weekend!

there's laws in place that say you can't do what he did, but that's secondary to the general point - you can't let religious groups move in and put down rules and restrictions like this. if the message i got was "i'm a muslim, and i don't like you, and i want you to leave" then my response is "i'm a queer atheist, and i'll go where i please, and if you don't like it then you can leave, yourself.".

so, let's get all the queers to the coney one, let's take this place over; let's make it ours.

when i was done berating him, i went to the symphony a little early, got a coffee and headed in to hear the pre-show program, by the conductor. we're going to split this off, tactically....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

the weather for the night is really iffy. there's some chance, still, that this could be a nice night, and there's no indication at all that we'll get another one for months.

but, navigating the evening is going to mean getting out of the show in ferndale close to midnight - and maybe in the rain - and trying to get back to the tunnel for 1:15. should i take the bus? how much change do i have?

actually, that might be the best...yeah.

ok.

so, if i go tonight, i'll take the bus. i should get out in plenty of time. and, i want to get home, i don't want to be there overnight. easy enough.

yeah.

fuck.

let me right this review, first.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

to clarify a point: this might or might not be "gonzo journalism", but all it's intending to be is a journal.

i rigorously avoid naming people, and i'm purposefully fuzzy with places, when i need to be. i want you to be anonymous. you can out yourself, if you want.

but, i'm not telling stories - these are honest recollections, as best as i can present them.

so, a hunter s. thompson fan would certainly see a broad similarity in the things i write about, and may even in the way i write about them, but the philosophy here is really very different; he wrote flat-out fiction, broadly speaking, whereas i'm just leaving out names and contexts.

this shit really happened....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i didn't ever do the write-up after the human eye show when the bosnian muslim took me home and gave me those hunter s. thomspon glasses, did i?

she made a kind of a point about it.

was she reading this, too?

i don't know what kind of circulation this really has. but, i get hints. and, i suspect i'd be baffled if i really knew....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i was up late enough in the afternoon on saturday to get my tickets printed before the library closed, but i spent some time writing, and i got something to eat, so i wasn't out of the house until well after 21:00. i was sure i'd miss the show, which was supposed to be over at 23:00. thankfully, it was only the second act playing when i got there....

so, i got to see prissy whip, which is what i was there to see, and who came on somewhere around 23:30, i think. sort of. they were supposed to have a female singer, who was a no-show. i don't think anybody really knew the details except the band, but the rumour floating around was that it had something to do with a possessive boyfriend. she apparently made it the st. louis show on thursday, according to the footage, so something appears to have happened in that 48 hour space. hey, i don't know; i was just at the show, and she wasn't.

so, we got an instrumental set, instead, and it was actually fairly compelling, as it was. they're operating in a pretty syncopated style of noise rock, so removing the vocals just brought out the percussive aspects of the guitars, which you may or may not recall are technically percussion instruments, in a technical and eurocentric sense (i guess the arabs and indians would have a different take on the whole thing, but they're not me, so  they can figure that out on their own). so, they basically banged out this three part drums-guitar-bass percussion set for a few minutes and then abruptly stopped and that was that.

so, i'm hesitant to post something because it wouldn't really be an accurate representation of what i actually saw. but, you can check them out by googling them. they come recommended heavily by deerhoof, and there's reasons for it, even if it's maybe a little closer to melt banana, overall.

i did check out part of the next set, which was by a band called "pig's blood", but it was just screaming and yelling and breaking things and i don't listen to that kind of shit, so i was just back outside within seconds...

i actually spent a lot of time talking to the people outside that night, who were all 30+, and all felt like they were too old to be there, but in fact were exactly the right age. there actually weren't any kids there, and i'm the only one that seems to have actually got their head around this a long time ago: there haven't been any kids at any spaces like this in a long time, now. these kinds of shows are often 40+, let alone 30+. i'm ok with that; i don't want to hang out with kids in their 20s, anyways. but, it seemed to be the first time it clicked for some of these guys.

i also want to make a general point about my social skills when i'm drinking. yes - i'm friendly (in a good way) when i'm drunk. i talk to girls, and i talk to boys, and i talk to people in between, and i don't tend to really think much of it. i didn't used to be this friendly or this confident, though; i didn't used to have the nerve to just stumble into a group of random people of whatever gender and start talking to them, no matter how drunk i was. rather, i used to be a quiet, distant drunk that would sit in the corner and avoid eye contact and only speak meekly when spoken to. so, my confidence is a function of the transition; it wasn't there before, and it won't be there anymore if you take it away. that is, in fact, one of the medical cases for doing it - it gives people better social skills, because they feel more comfortable in their outward presentations. that's one of the things about this that people tend to have a hard time with, because i guess i just come off as having a bit of a swagger sometimes (which is a misinterpretation of the reality).

the actual truth is that i'm actually completely asexual and completely disinterested in romance, and while i do understand that this maybe isn't always as clear as i assume it should be, that doesn't change the truth of it, and shouldn't affect how i'm behaving.

so, i'm talking to what i presume to be a cisfemale about alcohol/caffeine mixtures, mountain dew and rockstar vodka, and she gets bored and walks off when i point out that i don't watch tv, 'cause i guess that had something to do with her perspective on mountain dew. i have heard something about a boycott, but i actually haven't looked into it, and i don't know what it's really about. i don't think i've ever seen a mountain dew commercial, ever. i legitimately didn't ask for her name and don't know it, and don't even actually even care, but am happy to wish her a goodnight, regardless - i'm just about to get up and leave, myself; this is just stage one of a long weekend, for me. this kind of random conversation is something that happens at least a few times for me, every weekend, in detroit - it's nothing special, nothing unusual. but, i look up and there's a dude grinning ear-to-ear on the bench.

"i didn't want to interrupt the conversation, but...."

the implication is clear enough, but it's completely wrong, and as mentioned, i've been through it before. but, i grasp that it's a hard thing to get your head around - you don't see somebody that feels confident in a female identity and is just having a girl-to-girl conversation about beverages, you see a confident guy with an array of pick-up lines that seems to be working, and are impressed by it and feel the need to comment on it. and, maybe you're tickled by the irony of it, given that you might have it in the back of your mind that you'd like to fuck me. but, you're wrong, dammit. every time...

i'm always just looking to hang out, and i'm sorry if i come off as friendly, but you gotta adjust, 'cause i'm not going to tone it down.

anyways..

after i realized the nature of the last band, i decided that i'd finish my spiked lemonade and go ahead on to the club when it was down to a few sips, or mostly done. and, as it was, i was in the process of leaving relatively soon, when somebody handed me a 40 of vodka, and i think you want to imagine a morricone-esque voiceover here, dry and somewhat chapped, just because.

"i don't want it, man. take what you want. i'm done."

we weren't actually in the desert, and the sun wasn't actually beating down (although the weather was pleasant), and he didn't actually spit after he told me to take what i want, and he didn't actually stumble off into the distance, but that is all secondary to the 40 of vodka i've been handed and instructed to do as i will with.

my bottle of mountain dew - 710 ml, or 24 oz - was down to the last fifth or so, at that point. i didn't fill it up, exactly, but i did take a fair amount.

so, i ended up at the club a little bit later and a little bit drunker than i intended to. i am often accused of being drunk when i'm actually not; on saturday, such accusations would have had merit, although i don't actually recall hearing them, which perhaps merely stresses the point.

i remember asking somebody what time it was when i got in. it was 1:15. early enough..

and, i remember quickly buying several drinks. i broke a five, broke a ten, broke the five i got back from the ten and then handed over three crumpled 1's - i remember all of this. did the drum and bass set play late? it seemed that way...

then it's a little blurry. until....

"you can't sleep at the club".

so, i jumped up, checked my pockets. i didn't immediately remember opening my second pack of smokes, and i thought i had an extra three dollars. i felt ok, though. so, i bought another beer and went back to dancing. we're clear, memory-wise, from here until i got to the diner...

what happened? well, you tell me, right. but, i can deduce a few things.

i found my cigarette pack a little later in my other back pocket and was initially confused about it. it had been ripped open the wrong way (from the bottom of the pack) and was half missing, almost as though it got cut up for filter. i was initially kind of baffled by that, but i now actually remember lighting a few cigarettes backwards, taking a few tries to figure it out, and then making an adjustment around it. so, i very specifically recall taking smokes out of my back pocket and flipping them around before i lit them - five or ten times, at least. that's what would happen if you rip your pack open from the bottom. i guess i gave a bunch away, but i do recall smoking out of the pack, on second thought.

in fact, i remember the smell of burning filter, and remember stomping them out, as though they were defective, and the next one would be better, just to have the same thing happen. there must have been a stash of five-ten wasted cigarettes out there, lit from the filter, and otherwise unsmoked.

i actually have a habit of smoking cigarettes backwards when i'm drunk, and only do it when i'm drunk. that's an idiosyncratic giveaway. if you ever see me do this, you know i'm drunk...

i know i was out in the back area when i was pulling the smokes out of my pocket. i wasn't asking around, but that takes me pretty late in the morning.

so, i must have sat down around 5:00-5:30 and nodded off for a few minutes, before somebody woke me up.

as it is, i know i enjoyed dancing to the drum and bass set through the night and through the course of at least the first four beers. i remember thinking "the set is going to end soon", and then it not ending, and kind of putting off having that smoke until it did. the music was good, and the dancing was good, so i kept with it, and avoided going off for that smoke a little longer than i normally would have - a sign i was having fun. and, maybe, the more i think about it, the more i remember buying that fifth beer. maybe? i'm sure i did, anyways...

as mentioned, the sixth beer happened after the nod, and i was able to spend the last hours of the set dancing, as the sun came up - which is the actual point of this sordid exercise. whatever experience i had with that vodka and those cigarettes earlier, i do remember dancing at sunrise. so, i'd argue it was worth it.

of course, it's my fault. i poured it. i drank it. but, i can promise you i'll do the same thing next time, if you give me a 40 of vodka and tell me to have at it, and i don't feel any particular shame about it, either. hey, i don't pretend i'm responsible; i have no responsibility to be responsible. rather, the operative question is this: how often do you get handed a 40 by a stranger and told to go to town with it? so, shouldn't you take advantage of the situation, because it's rare? if it happens again, i'll do the same thing, but what are the chances, right?

the set was done a little early, and the weather was warmer than expected, so i'm outside at roughly 9:00 with some people i think i've partied with before, and they want to roll a joint, but need to get into a car, because they're tired, themselves. so, before i know it, i'm in the car with them. and they're driving....

the driver claims he knows an after hours spot. dude, it's 9:00. you were at the after hours spot. but, we're nonetheless off for a spin, to find an empty spot (of course), before heading back to the bar. but, the puff was well received, just right then.

the audio guys are finishing up, and i had to ask them for a smoke, because i was actually out (or had otherwise destroyed my own pack). so, i'm having a smoke outside the bar when it starts raining, and it passes fairly quick.

"you don't think you're coming back in?", he says. and, this is the only suggestion i received that i may have been a little wilder than i recall...

but, i didn't want to come back in.

"you were on edibles last weekend, you said?"

it was the week before, actually. but, did i tell him that? or did he read it?

well, maybe he can read this, too.

i got to the diner around 10:00, and we'll start a new review for sunday.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

ugh.

why does the headache come back when i wake up?

are there two different things going on?

the sore throat has mostly converted into a cough, meaning i'm probably mostly over it. so, what's with my head, then?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

if it was just sandra pupatello v brian masse, void of any context, i would vote for sandra pupatello. she's a better candidate, hands down.

and, that might be the most responsible choice, at the end of the day.

i don't want to do it. but, the greens are simply not presenting an acceptable alternative, and i don't want jagmeet singh making decisions. at this point, it seems like i'm voting to keep the religious fundamentalist out of power.

local polling suggests that she could steal this riding.

i ruled this out. but, shit happens. i might have to.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

"i bet you said the same thing about obama."

that's right, i did.

and, look what happened - he was awful.

are you a slow learner, or what?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

jagmeet singh is a 37 year-old religious extremist that's never passed a bill and never had a real job.

he should not have any meaningful say in parliament. at all.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

actually, if i have to choose between giving the ndp the balance of power and giving the liberals another majority, i'll give the liberals another majority.

the ndp are not going to do anything to stop these pipelines, and most of the things they're running on are actually provincial issues that are outside of their jurisdiction. the only positive outcome of a liberal minority is the hope that we can get back to the polls sooner than four years.

and, every time i soften up on the greens, elizabeth may opens up her mouth and says something awful. no, liz, i'm not going to support a neo-con foreign policy that looks like it was written by michael ignatieff. sorry. the responsibility to protect is just a bullshit excuse to advance an imperialist agenda. we need to get out of the middle east altogether, yesterday. i can't vote for somebody that talks like this...

so, it initially seemed like the best outcome of this was to knock the liberals down, but the left is so bad right now, so not left, that it doesn't seem worthwhile. the more pressing issue is to overturn and replenish the left....otherwise, we're not getting anywhere.

the best thing that ndp supporters can do right now is to push the ndp's numbers down as low as possible in order to force singh out and replace him with an atheist. and, the best thing we can do if we're environmentalists is wait out elizabeth may - this has to be her last election.

i'm not going to vote for the liberals, but i can't vote for these other parties, either.

next time, i hope they're more left-wing - and they should interpret my abstention as a vote for them to shift left.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i care about facts.

i want people to know the truth.

this is impossible, to the power elite; if i don't uphold their lies, i must be a foreign agent.

that's the post-modern, nihilist world that our government agencies live in - honesty and the search for truth is considered too quaint to be actually possible.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

all hail putin!

i mean, umm, uh, nice night, huh?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

so, i think i'm at about 70% maximum health, right now.

i think i can smell, and am going to get pissed if it smells bad tonight. right now, i think it's ok. we'll see.

head seems ok.

throat is jut a tad raw...

my computer is very slow because the cia is spying on me through facebook (mostly), and there's not really an answer but to shut down executables and restart them, which i can't do mid-review. so it took all day, yesterday, to do something that should have taken a few minutes. did the cops like the band?

they're very, very stupid people, these law enforcement officers.

for now, i have to finish the saturday review.

hopefully, i'm feeling well enough to do some work after that.

right now, i don't think it would be a good idea to go to see a show tomorrow night, i'm still too sick. we'll see how that evolves.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

it should surprise nobody that i didn't get out of the house until after 16:20 and missed the 16:30 bus by minutes, realizing the inevitability of it only once i got to the bank machine. so, i uncharacteristically bought smokes and headed down to the bus station to drink an untouched, non-alcoholic mountain dew (i decided i should save the little bit of vodka in my bottle until saturday, and that i'd just get an extra beer or two in or near the venue once i got there, early - intending to get there early).

the box office closed at 17:00, you'll recall, so catching the 17:00 bus over would have meant relying on the hope that there was somebody there between 17:00 and 19:00. otherwise, i was going to have to wait for the symphony to start and i was going to miss the prog show...

worse, i found myself in dire need of a bowel movement a few minutes before 17:00. maybe you've been in this situation, where you have to choose between squirming around on the bus and missing it altogether; i reasoned that it might even make sense to miss it at this point (because my chances of catching somebody at the box office were dependent on them being open for the friday night show), so i ran to the tim's, and did in fact miss the bus when i got out. at this point, i was no longer going to catch an early beer, so i ran around the corner to get a couple of shots of jager instead...

when i finally got on to the bus at 17:30, it was uncharacteristically packed, or at least had more people than i'm used to seeing, which meant a lengthy wait through customs that was even further complicated by a distressed transport trailer that didn't want to listen to the border cops in getting around the corner. so, i didn't get on my way until 18:00...

i got to the dso something close to 18:30, and did in fact get my beethoven tickets for sunday at 15:00. fait accompli. so, i'm off to this downtown bar i haven't been to before to see the psych show...

it's in a basement, it turns out, which i wasn't expecting. the floors are fluorescent and appear to glow in the dark; there's an arcade off to one side. beer is on tap and in plastic cups, which i don't like, but cheap, which i do like. the venue is broadly similar in layout to the shelter down the street. i looked around, but there was nobody outside to start, so i caught sacri monti without the aid of cannabis.

i can't be sure exactly, i'm new to the band, but i think they played their new record pretty much from start to finish in the roughly 40 minutes that they were allotted, which is roughly the length of the record. this is a five piece, with a moog/keyboard player and two guitarists in addition to the rhythm section. i mentioned that there's a dramatic mick ronson influence, but this is just the first thing that jumped out at me - it's, overall, a fairly good survey through early 70s british glam and prog, with multiple references to other seminal acts like hawkwind, pink floyd, king crimson and some genesis, too. this kind of thing seems to continue to go over well in california for some reason; there are contemporary california acts like mammatus and eye (well, ok. eye broke up.) that operate well in this space, while acts from pretty much any other place in the world seem to fall flat on it. maybe it's the angle of the sunlight hitting the ocean. i dunno.

this is probably an acquired taste, but if it is then i acquired it in the womb; i'm native to this, it just makes sense to me. i asked around and people were lukewarm about it, which is technically wrong, but not particularly surprising. every single person at the show should have been blown away by this set. if you get a chance to see this, don't miss it.

the next band up was called maggot heart, and i didn't spend a lot of time with them before i came in; i checked their bandcamp site long enough to conclude it was a lot poppier than the other two acts, and kind of left it at that. structure wise, they were essentially a corporate-style pop-punk band, and not particularly exciting, but, whether it was due to the bill or as a consequence of some other thing, they decided to extend the tracks a little bit, at least on this night. the result was a corporate-style pop-punk band with a jam band feel, which one could argue is sort of what the smashing pumpkins were, although the song structures were far more compressed than anything the pumpkins ever did. but, it ended up being some kind of alt. rock in that space, whether on purpose or not.

the songs were really not exciting, but the jamming saved the set. the drummer was especially useful in saving it...

the thing is that i don't know if what i saw was characteristic of them or not. i suspect it wasn't; i suspect that on most nights, you're going to see a more generic corporate pop-punk kind of set, something like nirvana, maybe. if they do the same kind of set they did on this night, though, they're at least worth not skipping. but, it didn't really speak to me, much - it's not a style of music i spend much time with anymore, at my age.

earthless headlined the show relatively early, and while i think the band is overrated, i was stoned enough to enjoy the set. i mean, listen - on some level you can't go wrong with this. you've got a drummer. you've got a bassist. you've got distortion on the guitar. you've got loud amps. so long as you don't try and sing, you can't fuck it up, right? well, if the audience is inebriated enough, anyways...

my technical nitpicking of the sound as less complicated than others might assume, and consequently sort of pretentious, is valid and everything, but it's secondary to the experience of actually listening to loud, instrumental music while baked.

and, yes, they made me laugh a few times with a series of absurd cliches. they just needed their little stonehenge, and it would have been spinal tap. but, that's fine, if you have fun...

i'm not going to see a band like earthless every night, but it's fun once in a while, if the bill has something more substantive on it. so, that's fine.

and, i had fun. i said that, right? maybe you'll have fun seeing them, too...

just don't actually take them seriously. they can do that enough for everyone else.

i was out of the show not much later than 10:00 - this was an early night - so i hoped to get down to another place i'd never been to before, namely the pop off world arcade over top of the checkers, right around the corner from the tunnel, in order to catch a local synthesizer player do a free set. hey, it seemed worth a beer. he said he'd either start at 21:00 or 22:00; i guess he started closer to 21:00, because i only heard 5-10 minutes before he stopped, and it was just kind of generic vintage synth music. i hope this venue does more things along these lines, because a synth bar is kind of unheard of, but perhaps overdue. i just had the one beer, and i guess i was out of there by 22:30-23:00.

i made it back to phog fairly early, with the intent to catch the late show there, which i largely did....

the first band was called 'of the pack', which is a local band that i've seen on a lot of bills around town but haven't actually seen play. and, i could've sworn that they were a bro-ish hardcore act, but it turns out they weren't; they had a kind of reggae-ish feel, on top of a pop-punk crux. i asked, and they claimed they were never hardcore. what can i say? i was more caught off guard than anything else. they did a cover of 1979 that missed the slur, which is a good way to describe them; it wasn't terrible, but they wouldn't bring me back for more, either.

i wanted to see bike thiefs, which were actually a bit more hardcore than i expected. based on the sound samples, i was expecting something roughly sonic youth-ish, but it actually came off more like very, very early thermals, with the kind of ranted vocals over the noise punk song structures. i found myself nodding off a little near the end of the set, and it's less because i was drunk (i wasn't.) and more because the sound was kind of hypnotic; it's more that they got me in a bit of a trance. so, i don't want to say i was disappointed. that's not quite right. but, it wasn't quite what i expected, either. if i were to see them again, i'd get coffee instead of beer....

i spent the rest of the night at phog, right until last call, got trolled by the friday night bartender about the use value of alcohol vs the use value of soda, and we'll talk about that through tomorrow's review, and stumbled out with a smoke at the very last minute. where's the party? nothing at villain's, which i learned earlier in the night was having a dungeons and dragons night (no joke.), but there's a whole lot of people at the strip club across the way....

i think i've mentioned previously that i've never been in a strip club. i certainly am not very interested about going into one at this point; you'd probably have to pay me to sit through it. i'd probably start crying if somebody tried to give me a lap dance. the whole thing's just insane, to me - i can't understand how these things still exist, in this day and age. but, they're around and there's people at them....

i'm actually hoping to bum a smoke from somebody, actually, maybe chat a little. yeah, it's like 3:30 or something - that's not late, for me. so, there's this guy that's like arab or something, and he's talking about how he's a law student. there seems to be an undertone to the conversation that the way we talk about immigrants in this country is backwards - they're largely upper class, in canada, because we screen them to be. it's the white trash that's poor. he's kind of sick of the racist narrative, is what he's trying to get across, and i actually agree with the point. his father's a doctor, his mother's a nurse, and they didn't raise him to be religious. well, he's out at 3:30 smoking at a strip club, i guess not, right? but, he is rich, though - they raised him to be that.

and, i'm finishing my smoke and about to leave, when these angry guys come stumbling out, and they're giving this guy a hard time because of where he's from. they're not drunk - i'm drunk; they're coked out. and, i've seen this before, actually. they blame bar fights on alcohol, but it's often not alcohol that causes these fights. i've seen enough of them. these fights have two primary causes - girls and cocaine. i think we've probably got both, here.

listen - i'm not going to stand up for some bigoted muslim that wants to nail me to a fucking tree because of my clothing decisions if he gets into a fight with an equally bigoted white supremacist. let them slaughter each other - we're better off if they're both dead. but, i'm not going to let these white trash frat boys rip this atheists' balls off just because of his ethnicity, either. i know what side i'm on, and what side i'm willing to fight for, and it's the side of non-believers and atheists and secularists. and i don't fucking care where you're from, or where your parents are from. at all.

so, they're getting up in his face....

"if you really want to get with the red and white.."

really? i don't know exactly what that means, but it was pretty clearly confrontational. so, i stepped in between them and asked:

"hey hey hey. is that really necessary."

see, in a situation like that, i'm white. i'm not always white, and i'm not particularly white, but, in context, i'm white. and, so that worried them, and you could see it in their eyes.

but, they look away, and they keep running their mouths off.

"i said, is that necessary?"

it was enough of a break that the arab guy was able to slip away, and i followed not long after him.

so, i got home after 4:00, made some pasta and crashed at something like 7:00. day two coming up....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

we started last week on friday night, and the primary intent was actually to go down early to get some beethoven tickets. everything else kind of developed out of this.

when i first looked at the weekend, i was mostly just turned off by the weather. sub ten degrees on friday night, and rain on saturday night? well, it's october - i might at least get out for a double matinee on sunday, though, with the 5th followed by the lpd. it also looked like i could maybe catch a late show at phog on friday night, if i could stand the weather.

i had a loose plan, though. there was a late party at marble on saturday, and a punk show at trumbullplex on the way there, so maybe i could essentially come down early and dance before the beethoven show, if i could convince myself that the punk show was worthwhile. it ended up working the other way around, when i realized the show at marble was a drum 'n' bass dj, which is rare in detroit; this then became the focus of the weekend.

so, i bought some tickets for the marble show on friday morning, only to initially find myself stonewalled by the dso. sold out? well, it's the fifth, i guess. after changing browsers (and operating systems), i did realize that there were still tickets, but i'd need a credit card to buy them online. i didn't want to wait until sunday morning, or even saturday night. could i get there on friday, then?

i had in fact been looking at a show on friday at a bar i hadn't been to before called delux fluxx, which is right downtown. for all the time i spend in detroit, i only ever really transit through the core. what was the last show i saw in the downtown core? not corktown, not midtown, not the eastern market, but right downtown? it might have been as far back as early 2017...crywolf at the shelter. i think. the only show i've seen at st. andrew's is swans, and the only other show i saw at the shelter is son lux. you might catch me dancing at a few after hours spots right in the core once in a while, but i otherwise am only downtown for as long as it takes to get out of it. there's just not much there for me, generally.

i had initially ruled the show out, because the headliner (earthless) didn't really grab me, on inspection. i'm generally looking for a level of abstraction that just wasn't really present in the sound, which was more of a cliched kind of throwback. neither the drumming nor the guitar playing seemed that impressive, and rumour had it they were starting to sing, too. ack. so, i had scratched that off, only to notice that the opening band was on teepee - and if somebody from teepee comes to your town, you should always at least check to see if they're any good or not. it turns out we've got a prog band here with a big early bowie or spiders/ronson feel to it. score.

still, i wasn't sure i was going to go until the ticket issue came up, at which point i decided i should go down early and do a few things in midtown. for example, maybe i could drop off some recycling at the depot, finally. it's piling up. but, oddly, the depot was closed on fridays, so i resolved to just go down early to get the tickets. according to google, the box closes at 17:00; if i catch the 15:00 bus, i should get there before 17:00 for sure....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

when you find yourself on the same side as lindsey graham and marco rubio, giant red flags should go off as to what you're supporting and saying and doing.

those are people you should never, ever, ever agree with. ever.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

woah woah woah.

will pushing the kurds out of the north of syria open up a space for isis?

no.

because it wasn't actually the kurds that won the war, it was the russians.

it is true that the kurds faced heavy casualties in the process of defending themselves, but the core of isis territory was always south of the euphrates (and adjacent to saudi arabia, which is where isis mostly came from), rather than north of it, where the kurds are. iraq owes a great deal of gratitude to the kurds; syria less so.

should isis think that it can mount some kind of comeback, the russians should be able to deal with it relatively easily.

...because it's the russians. they're good at this shit.

and, so, what is the pentagon's argument really about? it's mostly about trying to maintain the division in the country, and preventing the russians from reorganizing it. but, this is futile. the saudis can't beat the russians, and they know it. all the americans can do is sit around and waste everybody's time.

some people are going to die, and that's always very sad, but the kurds are occupying land that does not belong to them and that's what happens when you do that, because eventually the rightful owners are going to organize and fight to take it back if you don't get out. i would advise the kurds to withdraw immediately if they want to avoid casualties, in order to make way for returning syrian refugees. the syrians have a right to return, here; the kurds need to make way.

only the russians can reunite the country and end this endless war.

trump is actually completely right to pull out. he's doing the right thing, and the democrats look awful aligning with the military-industrial complex in opposing it.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

if i were to go to a mosque for some reason, i'd make to sure to dress very slutty.

....and walk through the front door, whether they fucking like it or not.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i don't think i've ever been in a mosque or synagogue.

when was the last time i was in a church?

i don't think i've been in one in windsor, and i don't think i've been in one in detroit, either. i'm just trying to think if i've seen a concert in one, and i don't think i have. i apologize if i'm skipping something.

i saw a silver mt zion in a church on elgin in ottawa in early 2012. that's firm. that's the last time, for sure.

i think the last church service i was at would have been around 2002, when sarah brought me home, one weekend. i only lasted a few minutes before i went out for a smoke.

i've seen a few shows in churches, and i guess i'm probably not going to get too pissy about it, but i would broadly prefer to avoid entering into them. and, they're not the right places for political anything....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

see, if it was up to me, i would have boycotted the debate because it's in an inappropriate venue. you couldn't drag me into a mosque, church or synagogue...

there should not be all-candidate debates in religious venues. at all.

as it is, there's not much that the candidate can really do. a lawsuit would be pointless.

https://lfpress.com/news/local-news/mosque-shuts-out-ppc-from-debate-over-partys-stance-on-religion-hate-crimes

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i've feeling better. the asprin is working, indicating i probably have a fever, and it's really gotta be strep.

we're going to finish this review, regardless.

friday may be a short night, and the only night this weekend, but it's firming up.

if i'm smelling what i think i'm smelling in here, i'm going to be fucking pissed in 24-48 hours when my nose is working again. if i didn't know better, i'd think he's chain smoking (cigarettes) right on top of me. that's the kind of thing that takes weeks to clear out.

i'm not a smoker. i should be able to smell it. but i'm sick.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

ok, it doesn't look like i'm doing anything constructive for right now, so why don't i get these reviews done. maybe i'll feel better in a few hours. or maybe i'll fall asleep.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

listen, my lungs are fine. i'm not even coughing. no congestion. it doesn't hurt to breathe. my breathing is not restricted.

no chest pain. no muscle pain. no neck pain.

the sore throat is at the very top of the throat, almost in the back of the mouth. there is some film on my tongue, but nothing on my tonsils. they don't even look inflamed.

i can deal with a little sore throat; it's not that bad.

rather, it's the headache that's awful.

i have no memory of head trauma on saturday, and no reason to suspect it. i was dancing from around 6:00-8:30, got into a car with somebody for a bit, went back to the bar, had a smoke out front, talked to the sound guys and made it the diner for after 10:00. i did nap there, and we'll get to that. i was not experiencing any sickness or headache at the time.

i'm pretty careful with my health. there's a hospital down the street, and i have a magic swipe card that'll get me anything i want. so, if i need to get there, i'll get there.

i've been there....if you follow this, you know that.

right now, i'm ok. it's just a little strep, and i probably picked it up from sharing a joint or bowl or vape.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

the headache's back, so i don't know how useful i'm going to be for the night.

i don't have a swab, but i'm 95% sure it's strep. given that i started feeling sick sunday night, i actually probably picked it up on friday. there's a few ways i could have done that...

and, it's screwing up my sense of smell. i haven't smelled any drugs tonight, but there's a background odour that i think is tobacco but can't, at the moment, smell enough to be sure of. it's like 40% tobacco, 30% burnt meat and 30% bacteria or fungi. so, it could be the mattress again, or i could just be smelling the strep (there is a "sick" smell, when you smell your any pathogens in your nose or mouth), or it could be smoke from upstairs, or something else entirely. i will need to wait for my sense of smell to come back, better, first. that means the pot might have been stronger than i thought...

the aspirin was working before i fell asleep; the headache actually didn't come back until i finished my pasta. i don't think it's the food.

*shrug*.

i guess i'll get some more aspirin and give it another go, but i'm not convinced i'm very useful right now, or am going to be able to do much of anything besides sleep.

i don't get sick very often. i really don't. but, strep can be brutal, regardless, and i seem to have hit it pretty hard.

again: if this had anything to do with my lungs, i'd be coughing.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i'm not coughing.

therefore strep, right?

i can fight this off, i don't need drugs.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

didn't take long to get it back on.

*shrug*

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

yeah, it's starting to feel like a virus, or maybe strep throat.

that's actually the better option. the other option is that i burned my throat up, but i wouldn't get a delayed reaction on that, right?

i needed some more sleep....

my sinuses seem to be mostly clear, now, which is an improvement.

i keep turning the fan off, like a fool, but the fact is that i don't want it on. i'll turn it back on at the slightest hint of anything, though.

all i want is for him to take a walk, subject to the agreement that he signed, or admit he signed an agreement in bad faith or in poor judgement and pay to get out of it. i should have a right to smoke-free housing.

i got a response on the cops' response to the human rights order in. it's mostly a sneaky way to ensure they actually filed it. i need need need to actually get to the request for review, now...

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

this is why there's a vacuum in the region.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assyrian_genocide

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i ended up napping.

my sinuses are blocked up, so my sense of smell is poor, but it's coming back a little and i'm starting to realize that i'm going to need to do another major clean in here. again - it's when i leave and come back that this is necessary. so, what's going on in here when i'm not here?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

listen, i've made this argument before.

the question at hand is hardly about whether this is a "blow to us imperialism", as though i'm invested in dismantling american power in the region, or aligned with isis or something. i supported the bombing of isis, and i would like to see the russians take the lead role in the long run. that's not what this is about.

in fact, syria is historically a russian client state that is outside the scope of american imperialism. that's part of the point here - syria's not ours.

the argument i've made is that if your anarcho-socialist experiment - and my understanding is that rojava is really just another authoritarian leftist cult, and hardly an endpoint for anybody to aspire to - requires the backing of the global hegemon's imperial military might to exist, it's not much of an anarcho-socialist experiment, is it? they'd have to be able to stand on their own two feet to really be an anarchist experiment. really, rojava is itself better described as an outpost of american imperialism!

the history in the article is not accurate. these areas were neither historically arab nor historically kurdish, but historically assyrian. this is, in fact, the heart of ancient assyria. the assyrians were relatively light-skinned and majority christian well into the modern era, when the kurds massacred them in a series of brutal genocidal attacks. since then, there's been a struggle between kurds and arabs for control of the vacant lands.

so, if you want to do this right, you drive the kurds out and bring the assyrians back in.

that's not really plausible for a number of reasons, but the one thing you can't do in the twenty-first century is let the kurds conquer the area and drive the arabs out. any reasonable alliance with the kurds needed to be rooted in the assumption that they would behave as a responsible western ally and withdraw when the operation was complete; nato allies don't occupy the areas they liberate, they help in restructuring them with the ultimate aim of giving them back their sovereignty.

i don't like what the turks are doing here. it's far from ideal, of course. but, when the europeans are refusing to carry through with their international obligations in funding a peacekeeping force, and the kurds simply won't leave the areas they've conquered and occupied, there's not a better option on the table.

the most important thing here is maintaining the territorial integrity of syria. so long as this is a step in that end goal, it should be supported. if the turks deviate from that goal, they've fucked up and will feel it. 

and, i would hope that the refugees in canada are given the opportunity to return home, as well, as that is what they actually want to do. i would call on the canadian government to offer to fly them back, if they make the request.

https://www.jacobinmag.com/2019/10/rojava-syria-erdogan-turkey-united-states-military

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

so, i actually haven't been on the computer much of the night.

the place was really filthy. i guess he must have been smoking on sunday when i was gone, because there's something lingering in here, and it's absolutely rank.

so, i did some laundry. three loads, i guess - including sheets. hopefully, it doesn't come back tonight, because everything is clean in here, now, and i don't want to have to deal with more uncleanliness. every time i think i've cleaned the place up, he just gets grosser. like, no wonder the guy's single at 55. yuck. he's gross.

so, i did laundry, i did dishes again, i got something to eat and then moved the dresser back. i'm hoping that's it for the year, regarding the gas. we'll see. i know what it is, now...and i think the dresser is mostly cleared out. another month, hopefully, and it's done.

i didn't get into the shower until this morning after 8:00.

i was not feeling well when i got back from detroit on sunday night, and thought it might have been the beer on tap at new dodge. there was something floating in it, at some point - i don't know what. since last night, my throat has become the main problem, but it seems to be tied to my sinuses; i think it's allergies, and is also giving me a brutal headache, but i'm hoping i didn't screw up my throat too badly smoking all those filters on saturday. like, i remember the smell through the blackout, and i remember stopping and realizing what i was doing. i remember flipping the smokes around. this is in the dark space, 4:00-6:00. so, i think i inhaled a substantive amount of bad shit. i can't do much but hope it clears up.

i want to do more cleaning in here, but i'm both not sure there's a point (is he going to keep being gross?) and i want to actually do some work.

so, i was hoping i'd be halfway through this by now, at least. instead, i'm just getting started. if i can stay awake through all of the environmental havoc,  i can maybe get a draft done by the morning. if not, i guess i lost the day....

right now, it would appear unlikely that i'd be going out this weekend. it's looking like chelsea wolfe on the 25th is the next show.

no reviews while i'm nursing a headache...that'll have to wait....

...but i've got aspirin. i've got coffee. let's get started.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

stop supporting the oppressors, bernie.

start standing with the oppressed.

...or drop the bullshit and hand in your socialist card.

you're just a damned religious conservative.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

if you're going to call yourself a leftist, you should be placing your solidarity with the apostates, which means with the queers being attacked by muslim families, which means with the women being expelled from their communities, which means with the atheists and secularists and general non-believers being othered by the people that are supposed to care about them.

if you're going to stand with bigots and conservatives and religionists and misogynists, you should be identifying yourself as such.

he sold out.

stop supporting him.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

islam is really just organized bigotry.

there's nothing else to it - it's nothing more or less than exactly, precisely that.

...as are the other abrahamic religions, as well.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

when you embrace bigotry, as sanders has, you deserve to lose.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

the democrats did not lose the midwest because of the gays.

that's a conspiracy theory peddled by bigots, the kind sanders has been paling around with, lately.

the democrats lost the midwest because the clintons embraced free trade.

he had it right the first time - before he sold out.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

if these fake leftist politicians like bernie sanders want to sell out their principles in order to stand in solidarity with these hate-filled, bigoted muslim and christian groups, they can do that - but...

...the guy's dying. what's the point?

the proper analysis is that the guy sold out to a bunch of anti-queer bigots and it rightfully killed him politically, but it's going to be obscured by the fact that he might never get out of bed.

the lesson for the left is not to make the same mistake he did. the future is secular and egalitarian; don't give into the kind of hate being peddled at your local mosque or church, like that idiot bernie sanders did.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

atheists and secularists have no obligation to tolerate religionists' hate.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

people who fight against religion are not bigots, because religion is the cause of almost all bigotry in the world; the most effective way to fight against bigotry is to join the fight to abolish religion.

you're just redefining the terms in an upside down way.

it's orwellian.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

just the facts, ma'am - numbers are coming up a little, but he doesn't look like he's going to get close, in total deportations.

like, obama could beat him 2:1 on this, even if he gets a second term.

https://www.axios.com/immigration-ice-deportation-trump-obama-a72a0a44-540d-46bc-a671-cd65cf72f4b1.html

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i know it's hard to find a voice in this hyper-polarized political climate that is kind of meh on trump, but that's actually where i am; i'm agnostic on trump.

there's lots of things about trump i don't like; he's awful on the climate, to begin with.

there's lots of things, like his immigration enforcement policy, where he's mostly just carried forward with the status quo, regardless of what he's actually said. we'll see, in the end, whether he gets the title of deporter-in-chief or if we'll have to wait for the next democratic administration to surpass obama on mass deportations. the last i checked, deportations had decreased...

and there's less, but a few, things that i'm actually largely in agreement with him on. the nafta thing looks like a wash, but i would easily pick trump over clinton on foreign policy any day, and think it's a welcome change, actually, after so many years of these hawkish neo-cons in power. i've spent most of my life arguing against the hawks; i'm not going to retreat now that we're seeing some progress away from them.

it's going to be a very sad turn of events if the next democrat, whoever it is, just brings the fucking neo-cons back in. and, now that it looks like they're mostly gone, i'd suspect this is a wedge issue that isn't going away.

again: this was a ballot issue. there were many, many people that voted for trump because they didn't like clinton's hyper-aggressive foreign policy. he has a mandate to get out of syria.

i applaud him for doing it.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

and, if the democrats insist on running on a pro-war platform, i assure you that they're going to lose.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

and, no, i don't want to fight a war against russia.

my enemy is not russia, it's political islam, and i'm more often than not on the russians' side with this.

i'm old compared to these kids. and, i barely remember the berlin wall falling. the cold war is a relic of the past - as meaningful to me as wwI.

the russians i've met are good people, and they don't tend to want to enforce their values on others. there's a more meaningful ally there to me than an evangelical religion that wants to take over the world.

russia has it's own problems with the rise of the orthodox church, and the kremlin has tried to accommodate this in ways i don't agree with. but, i'm not afraid of the russians erecting religious laws in canada. they're a stable global power with defined interests and a separate sphere of influence that should ultimately be respected and backed off from. i don't really have anything to fear from them.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

it stinks in here.

i'm not going to smell like disgusting, dirty marijuana all night.

i'll take a shower - a few if i have to - to wash it off.

that's legitimate use.

expensive for him, though.

hope my check covers it...

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

again, tonight - smoking pot directly on top of me.

complete.

childish.

asshole.

hey, kids. how many of you want to grow up to be an unemployed, 55 year-old pothead that survives on their tenant's disability check, and lies about and hides it instead of being honest about it?

the guy is a complete loser. 

i'm taking notes. s'all i can do, for now. well, and i can take another shower; i guess i have to

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

the western media tends to portray the kurds as this oppressed minority that needs our help.

why?

because they're mostly white. you can try and break this down a million other ways, but the fact is that western support for an independent kurdistan is basically a white supremacist policy.

if you let the media define this narrative, you'd be easily misled into thinking that the history of the kurds in the region is of this pristine, helpless minority in the face of this onslaught of assimilation; the reality is that the kurds have been participants in some of the worst genocides of the modern era, and should not be receiving unconditional support from anybody. they're not better. they shouldn't be separated out as special.

the fact is that these areas don't belong to them, and yet they won't leave. they are illegally occupying the region. you can't turn a blind eye to that; something needs to be done about it.

i guess some people just don't care much for what the rule of law says in the matter.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

trump has made the right decision to pull out of syria. this was a ballot question in 2016; he has a mandate for this, and is carrying out the will of the american people in removing itself from a conflict they don't want to be involved in. the pentagon, with it's mouthpieces at cnn and msnbc, will disagree with this. but, if there was a reason that trump was elected, it is this, and i am overjoyed to see him follow through with it.

the kurds need to leave this region, which is not theirs, and go home. we cannot have tribalist ethnic conquests happening in the 21st century; the syrian state must be reconstituted, and it's territorial sovereignty must be respected. the kurds cannot be allowed to conquer northern syria. that would be an anachronism, a reversion to backwardsness. it's bad enough as it is...

the turks should not be in syria, either, but if the kurds will not leave on their own then somebody needs to drive them out. i would call on the turks to respect the territorial sovereignty of the syrian state once they have completed their operation, and hand the territory back to the rightful sovereign power, which is in damascus.

the ideal here would be for an international peacekeeping force to be deployed to oversee the kurdish withdrawal, but the power politics in the region will not allow for this. this is a deficit in the united nations, and we need to reform the body so that it is able to function effectively again in the future.

for now, the turks need to occupy the role of the international peacekeeping force, and the kurds need to go home.

and, i hope that the turks will allow for co-operation with the russians as they remove the invading kurds from the region, as it is the russians (by invitation of the legitimate sovereign in syria) that will take over this space, in the long run.

this is just international law - and what anybody that pretends to pay lip service to it should be articulating.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

there is a secondary point with these "movements", and it's that what they do often seems designed to piss people off.

when you're 17, it's easy enough to think that stopping traffic is waking up the sheeple. i get that. i was there.

but, trust me - it just makes them want to run you down. if the intent is to raise awareness, it doesn't help, it just gets you hated even more.

so, why do they do it over and over?

if orwell was right, you wouldn't know it. you really, really wouldn't.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

and, to be clear: what's more effective than voting is marching over factories and seizing control of them, and then converting them into publicly owned bodies.

you'll never accomplish that by voting.

rather, you need critical mass - and you can't contribute to it from inside of a jail cell.

demonstrating and marching and waving signs is fun and useful if it helps you meet friends when you're young, but it's pointless in actually doing anything real. that's the lie they tell you: that protesting matters. it doesn't.

"but, what about the civil rights movement".

they had guns, kids. they don't tell you that, but you can look it up. this was not peaceful civil disobedience, it was a display of force.

"what about gandhi?"

gandhi was demonstrating the size of his army to the british governors. what he did was very smart, don't misunderstand me, but it was based on a game theoretic argument that you've probably never heard of. what he said was this: we can fight if you want, but you don't think you can win, do you? the british saw the size of gandhi's army and calculated that they couldn't win and gave up, instead. it only worked because the british were rational. but, this wasn't peaceful disobedience, either - it was a direct threat of violence.

strikes work because they stop production, so you have to make sure that you're actually stopping production if you want them to work. likewise, parades only work when there's a threat of force attached to them, so you have to make sure you're actually being scary, or you're just wasting your time.

you're kids; what you can do is minimal, and hanging out and networking face-to-face isn't the worse way to spend your time at that age, either. but, if you kids get yourself arrested, you're going to have the cops on your ass for the rest of your life. it's a bad idea, and it doesn't help the movement in the long run if your phone is hacked by the cia and recording everything that's happening.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

do i need to request the tribunal to make the order or do they do that automatically, now?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

Powers of courts and tribunals

 

(2) This Act does not affect the power of a court or a tribunal to compel a witness to testify or compel the production of a document.  R.S.O. 1990, c. M.56, s. 51.

=======

i knew that, actually. not explicitly, in that legislation, but as a general rule; it was the guiding principle.

what the cops are actually stating is that they know that an order would be binding, but are asking the tribunal not to provide one because it's "unreasonable" due to the bullshit precedent.

yeah. i got this.

what's the time limit, though?

i'm gonna fall asleep again. tonight...

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

yeah, the first case they cited talks about somebody mailing something somewhere and concludes they should have taken greater steps to verify they had the right address. there's a series of cases cited afterwards where the idea that the applicant has to take steps to find the address is upheld, but all that actually provides any precedent for is the idea that i have to take initiative, which i've done.

it's a completely bullshit argument by a clearly stumped lawyer.

and, this is a lawyer i'm dealing with, now.

i would expect the tribunal to produce the order, at this point; there's no compelling reason presented by the police to not present this information to the tribunal, even though they obviously don't want to.

to be clear: i understand that i have the burden, here. but, i'm doing this; the lawyer is being disingenuous, and the tribunal should see through it.

how long do i get, though?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this.

no. stop.

imagine being arrested for stalking somebody that you've never met - that you've never seen a picture of - that you don't know the address or phone number of and that you appear to even have the wrong gender for (i thought i was communicating with a male named ryan, not a female named caroline).

then, imagine the cops telling you that the person's identity is protected by privacy laws when you try to determine who they are in order to sue them.

there would be something unconstitutional about those laws, don't you think?

if the tribunal orders the information, the cops will need to provide it, and i think the situation is at least unusual in that respect. i doubt the existing precedents would really cover the scenario; i think i'm looking for a novel ruling in a bizarre situation.

but, the laws cannot exist in such a state.

what happened cannot be allowed - they need to provide this information. i have a right to it.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

what the cops are claiming is that they should only have to provide the information if it relates to an ongoing trial.

well, is this not a trial? i may need to get a judge to rule on it. i think i can win that debate.

they're also arguing that they would require a court order, and that's fine if they want to go down that path.

again: i'm not doing the slightest bit of research into this, for obvious reasons, and we'll take it to court if we must.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

they had me arrested.

so, they should be forced to tell who they're working for.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

so, i got the denial from the cops that i was expecting and am now waiting for a response from the tribunal. i need to check deadlines on that.

the cops are essentially saying "this is an invasion of privacy.". but, this is a bullshit excuse - what they're doing is protecting the defendant. that's not unexpected, but it gives me an argument - they arrested me for harassment without a warrant and without any evidence in order to intimidate me into not filing the complaint, and then they won't tell me who the person that had me arrested was after i've filed it. there's some other components about the issue that have to do with how much work i've done on the file, but we're again in a farcical loop. they're telling me i should have taken the steps myself, but they just arrested me for harassment over it, which is creating a contradiction in their general position - they are both arguing that they can't release it due to the harassment charge, and that i should have harassed her enough to find the data on my own.

i don't know the identity of the person that had me arrested. so, my request to learn this information is not an invasion of privacy, it's a request for a fundamental principle of justice. that they're using this argument will look bad on them in the long run...

for now, i need to check up on what the tribunal does next. i presume they'll rule on the validity of the denial, and i'm kind of not sure about it. the idea i'm trying to get across is that i have no idea who this person is at all, so i avoided making lengthy arguments. on the other hand, we're not dealing with a rubber stamp body anymore, either. but, the courts tend to focus strongly on the perspective of the cops.

i'm not digging up dirt on this person, we're going to get the information from the cops, because they're the ones that are responsible for this. if the cops are going to act like this, they need to be held responsible for it, and that's a big part of why i'm doing this.

so, if the tribunal accepts the rejection, i'll have to appeal it in superior court and write back and request that they put the application on hold while that goes through.

we're going to be doing this for a long time, as i snake through the dozens of appeals and everything else. this is a huge legal fight, and i'm starkly committed to it.

you should not be allowed to use the cops as muscle to intimidate somebody, and then use them to hide your identity; if the cops are going to bully people around on a client's behest, they should be forced to provide information about that person's identity, on request.

we'll fight this one out for as long as it takes...

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

Extinction Rebellion uses arrest as a tactic to try to achieve its goals.

this is simply too idiotic to be real, and i want to interject my own experience, here - one of the best ways that you can identify the cops is by looking at who gets arrested.

somebody else might say something about race, but that's just a distraction, really. there's a far more pressing concern, here. let's think this through.

what happens when you get arrested for something like this?

- you get processed, including fingerprinted. you might apply to have things destroyed, but it's not easy to get the cops to actually do this. i'm probably going to need to sue, myself - we'll see how that goes.
- they know your real name, your address, etc.
- you're put in a list.
- you're put under surveillance.

so, if you're using arrest as a tactic, you're playing right into their hands, and you're retarded. more likely - this is truly occam's razor - is that the whole thing's a sting operation, to try and capture data on the next generation of activists.

if you fell for it, there's not much you can do, at this point, but you probably want to stay away from any groups that you think are actually legit; otherwise, you're bringing the cops there, and potentially bringing a mic in, at that.

i keep telling you that if orwell was actually right then you wouldn't know it...

i got myself arrested last year, it is true, but it was for a different purpose - i was building a civil case against the cops. so, i got arrested in order to sue. i'm not currently involved in any kind of organizing, and don't expect to be.....pretty much ever again. i moved 800 km away from where i used to organize, as well. so, i'm not putting anybody at risk, and the use of spying on me like this is essentially nil. if that wasn't true, i'd be putting comrades at risk, which is a big problem.

so, what do i think about this? it sounds like a sting. if you're going to go down and look for activists and/or hang out, don't get arrested. that's the set-up!

that said, not everybody there is going to be a cop, and if my own experience is any guide then you may find some value in using it as a networking tool - just be extremely careful  about infiltration, and get away from any more legit organizing immediately once you think they've "got" you..

i'm, personally, in no position to do this kind of thing.

would mass arrests accomplish anything in the long run? of course not.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

so, near the end of the debate, trudeau just broadcast that he's in favour of wage and price controls...i mean building refineries in alberta.

look it up.

classic projection.

what's he talking about?

it was a notley thing, something she actually ran on, but that never happened. it's often been floated as a way out of the pipeline catastrophe - just build the refineries in alberta and ship it up to hudson's bay or something. and, he's right - it would need federal money.

wait for it....

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

can somebody in the tory media run a fact check on trudeau at the debate, please?

thanks.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

what kind of 30-something year old runs for prime minister?

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

it's really probably the most inconsequential election since this one:

it's clear, though.

the only person on stage that has the knowledge, life experiences and raw intelligence to be prime minister is elizabeth may. the rest of them are a bunch of idiots that should be out building their resumes, not running for prime minister.

it's mom vs the kids.

she's really running against herself.

but, she's also beating herself, soundly.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

it's harper vs. harper (vs. harper).

deal with it.

first audience question: only may bothered answering it, and it was a decent answer, as much as you can do in 45 seconds, i guess. may: B. rest: F.

bernier's q on multiculturalism: not important. ffwd.

second audience question about "leadership" in interprovincial relations: bernier wants state rights. fail. singh told us as a story about some stupid kid, rather than answering the question. fail. scheer wants to talk about carbon taxes. fail. may actually answered the question, with some kind of meech lake reference and it was sort of eh. B. blanchet doesn't understand equalization. F. trudeau claims he did things that he really mostly didn't. F.

singh makes a valid point that trudeau is harper redux, and trudeau tells you he'll do better next time, then deflects to scheer. but, that's what he said last time. decent question by singh, trudeau gets an F on the response. singh tries to double down, but on taxes, which is meh. bad question, pointless answer. ffwd. scheer jumps in and talks about boutique tax credits. it's harper v harper. ffwd. then, bernier tries to talk and is even worse. may tries to take the question back to climate change, which is welcome, but nobody really else has anything worthwhile to say. may: B. everybody else: F.

i ffwd through the section about immigration and multiculturalism. i don't want to hear it from these idiots. borrrring.

the next section is on indigenous rights...

they ask scheer about the duty to consult, and he actually said what you probably want to hear, but do you actually believe him? may then rightfully takes him to task for his party's record on this, and he fucks up a little when he responds. hey, i wouldn't want her yelling in my ear. i want to see more of this. scheer: F. may: A+.

blanchet tries to change the topic to quebec, and scheer tries to switch it back, because he's worse off talking about quebec than indigenous issues - which is telling. blanchet: F. scheer: F.

trudeau continues to pretend that he's done something that he actually hasn't, then tries to project harper onto scheer; scheer responded with a lot of things that align with the tory media narrative but are actually irrelevant. harper v harper, again. fail.

bernier - who is essentially a tory, and lost the leadership race to scheer - lobs a softball at scheer, here, by trying to make it about jurisdiction. fail.

singh wants to talk about education instead of consultation, then deflects to trudeau instead of nailing scheer on it, despite the conservatives and liberals having the same position on this. fail. then, he continues to try to nail trudeau, leading to a nice little friendly agreement between scheer and singh. hrmmn. they can fail together on this one, and maybe find a room after the debate.

i'm going to refresh my fruit bowl and come back, but i get the drift and may not bother updating from here on in.

once again, there's one actual serious candidate on stage, and it's may, and she's barely electable, herself - she only seems so much better relative to how awful the others are. the rest of them are basically equally terrible.

may: B - and better than i thought, overall.
the rest: F.

i still don't think i can vote for her, though.

ugh. i might have to...

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i actually forgot that there was even a debate last night.

i'm going to get some fruit for breakfast before i get started on this writing; i guess i'll check it out, but i'm not particularly excited.

my expectation is as follows:

scheer: F
trudeau: F
singh: F
bernier: F
blanchet: D+
may: C-

we'll see what we actually get.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i have essentially no childhood memories attached to this celebration. i usually spent it in the basement, avoiding family members that i didn't like.

it was the holiday that i never really understood. like, i may have tried to avoid people at the spring solstice, too, but at least i understood easter. what is thanksgiving, exactly? i never really got a straight answer until i looked into the history, in my 20s. maybe it's because i can't tie it to anything solar; maybe that's why it doesn't really make sense.

if you check my 2016 blog, i actually made it all the way to the post office before i even realized what day it was. i just pay absolutely no attention to this.

it could be partly because i really don't have any north american ancestors from that era, except maybe on my mom's dad side, which i don't know well. i've met my maternal grandfather something like five times in my whole life. my maternal grandmother is second generation, from norway, on her mom's side; i guess her father's parents were irish, but she never talked about them much, and i don't think she identified much with them. either way, we're still talking catholics, and they probably don't go further than the potato "famine" (that is, the irish genocide).

my dad's side is a mix, but all catholic and jewish, and maybe native and african. there's potentially some old stock quebecois in there, but there's nothing protestant.

so, don't be surprised if i do spend part of thanksgiving in the states, and don't expect me to really even notice it, if i do. this is something that i just don't care about.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

i may go for a beer somewhere this weekend, if it's nice, but i don't actually celebrate thanksgiving.

at all.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this

all that i can do for right now is take note of the situation when it comes up, for future use...

the liberals are supposed to do better than that.

so, it was a little after 3:00 when i noticed the smell of marijuana seeping in from upstairs, again. nowadays, this only seems to happen after i get home from the bar, indicating that there is some kind of feeling upstairs by the property owner that i'm some kind of hypocrite, or that my actions outside of the house provide some kind of license for his actions inside of it.

the smell was coming from all corners of the house, indicating that there was some intent to disperse the smell.

i ran upstairs to see if there was anybody outside, and there wasn't. nor was the smell anywhere outside. i will point out that i have seen at least one actual skunk in the neighbourhood, and it may have been an actual skunk that one time, but this smell was less controversial - this was a lighter smell, probably actually some kind of hash. the only possible conclusion is that he was smoking inside with the lights off and the windows closed so as to not get busted.

this is all very childish, on his behalf, and that's essentially my conclusion from dealing with this for the last year - this guy thinks like a teenager, and should hand in his adult card. and, the basic point is that i know better than to argue with dishonest people. after being sure it was him, i confronted him on it, and he's denied it...

so, i took a long shower to deal with the smell, did dishes (that always smells good....), made a pot of coffee in the other room and am going to make a pot of coffee in this room, now. actually, let me get up and do that...

it's brewing beside me. i've got the fan running, but short of putting down actual air fresheners, which i'm out of, there's not a lot i can do in this room.

let's hope it's under control, at least.

but, let's also review a few points:

1) i neither smoke marijuana nor do i smoke nicotine at home. while i was a habitual tobacco smoker for some years, i have not been since the start of 2016, which is almost four years ago. since then, i have only smoked when i'm drinking. four years is a long time, and i am confident that i will not return to habitual smoking. so, no - seeing me smoke at the bar or on the street does not imply that i've started smoking again. you should be confident at this point that that will never happen.

2) i have never been a habitual marijuana smoker, ever - i have only ever smoked marijuana in social settings, and in infrequent binges, from time to time. the legalization of marijuana in canada has not had any effect on my habits, and will not have any effect on my habits in the long run, either; while it will be nice to buy the odd pre-roll to take to the bars with me, i have no intention of smoking it at home. i simply do not want to smoke marijuana habitually - i prefer stimulants as my day-today habit, and consequently actually drink very large amounts of coffee. note that nicotine is also a stimulant, and consequently a very different type of habit.

3) as i do not want to smoke habitually, and consider that a key lifestyle decision at this point, i made a big deal out of signing a non-smoking lease when i moved in here at the end of 2018.

4) my habits outside of the unit have no legal implications towards the validity of the existing agreement, which i have upheld to the letter.

5) the agreement does not end or become void after a year. that agreement remains in force into perpetuity, unless somebody makes an effort to change it. this would not be difficult, but it would require the consent of both parties. as i would never consent to removing the non-smoking language, he's going to have to pay to get out.

6) he can, of course, pay to get out. it's his house. the agreement is real, but it isn't bondage - if he decides he made a mistake, he just has to pay a fine.

7) there's no hypocrisy on my behalf, and the law is clear enough. i told him i was a social smoker, but i didn't want it in the house, and that's exactly what we've got in front of us, on my end. i have every right to want this, and he has a clear obligation to provide for it, or be fucking honest about it and pay me out.

but, there's a pattern - it's when i come home.

and, i just need to be as clear as i can - no, my habits outside of the house don't mean i've changed my mind. and, if there's some delusion that i'm ever going to, people need to pull their heads out of their asses: that's not going to happen. ever.

the liberals are supposed to do better than this.